The European Commission have just announced an agreement
whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather
than German,which was the other possibility.
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's government conceded
that English spelling had some room for improvement and has
accepted a 5 year phase in plan that would be known as
"EuroEnglish".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly,
this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favor of the "k". This should
klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year,
when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This
will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double
letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"'s in
the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the 4th yar, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to
ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reali sensibl riten styl. Zer
vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi
tu understand ech ozer.
