06-04-09 04:04 PM
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  1. syb0rg's Avatar
    My wife and I are 100% "A OKAY"


    but we do have a friend that happens to be a female. her name is shannon, that is married, to a guy name "Bob". Well shannon and Bob started having some problems. These problems got to the point where Bob had to move out of the house and got an apartment, while Shannon is still living at the house that her and Bob bought. to give a time frame bob and shannon have been apart for about 6 weeks. Well i find out last night that due to Bob having a major attitude/anger problem that is getting worse by the day. due to this fact - shannon filed for a divorce, and now has a new boyfriend.

    so here are my questions.

    1) would you personally consider that cheating since she is still married to Bob, but keep in mind the divorce papers have been filled out - just waiting on Bob to sign them.

    2) Shannon wants my wife and i to go on a double with her and her new boyfriend - but i really don't know that i should because she is still married to bob....
    06-03-09 09:48 AM
  2. thinkamp's Avatar
    im sorry but there is no reason for her to have a boyfriend while she is going through a divorce that is just STUPID. I would not go on a double date with her and her boyfriend.
    06-03-09 09:54 AM
  3. Coruptyed's Avatar
    its not cheating per say as they are breaking up and going through a divorce.. A lot of people here can't afford the divorce part and stay married but move on and get new boyfrinds/ girlfriends (but they can't marry) but that's pretty low no respect for the husband(even if there going through a divorce) but a new boyfriend should be the last thing she is thinking about and to ask to go double date like everythings fine... I wouldnt go

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    06-03-09 09:59 AM
  4. laurag84's Avatar
    I'm a family lawyer in the UK, and in English law until the decree absolute of divorce is received (the document that officially ends the marriage), any sexual relationship either party has with a person who isn't their spouse is considered adultery. Granted I don't know about the law in the US, but I would have thought it was similar.

    In terms of the double date, I personally wouldn't go, I'd feel very uncomfortable with it all.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    06-03-09 10:45 AM
  5. BergerKing's Avatar
    Whoa, when it comes to rebounds and ricochets, DUCK!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    06-03-09 11:01 AM
  6. SevereDeceit's Avatar
    She could of at least waited till the divorce was final before going public with the new boyfriend, he's probably just the rebound guy anyway and won't be a keeper...
    06-03-09 11:08 AM
  7. dragonsamus's Avatar
    Don't go! I wouldn't feel right going.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    06-03-09 11:25 AM
  8. Chris2183's Avatar
    I dont consider her cheating, I would not go on the double date. Depending on how good of friends you are with Bob, he may look at that as taking sides against him.
    06-03-09 11:28 AM
  9. syb0rg's Avatar
    I dont consider her cheating, I would not go on the double date. Depending on how good of friends you are with Bob, he may look at that as taking sides against him.
    I'm just friends through Shannon.

    My wife went to high school with Shannon, and became really close, then they (my wife and shannon) drifted away though college and as soon as college was done - they started hanging out again. and it's been non stop drama ever since with Bob and Shannon.
    06-03-09 11:33 AM
  10. Mavis Fesselmeyer's Avatar
    Classic case of "the best way to get over one man, is to get under another one"

    to each his own. if you feel uncomfortable, dont go. I doubt rebound guy will be around very long anyway
    Last edited by Mavis Fesselmeyer; 06-03-09 at 11:36 AM.
    06-03-09 11:33 AM
  11. Username00089's Avatar
    I wouldn't doubt she was sleeping with him even when she was living with Bob.
    06-03-09 12:40 PM
  12. SevereDeceit's Avatar
    I wouldn't doubt she was sleeping with him even when she was living with Bob.
    Hahaha, I almost added that to my above post but thought I would leave it out, I wouldn't doubt it either...
    06-03-09 12:45 PM
  13. wnm's Avatar
    I agree. The new guy has probably around for awhile before she got to the point of sending Bob packing.
    06-03-09 12:47 PM
  14. Mavis Fesselmeyer's Avatar
    I agree. The new guy has probably around for awhile before she got to the point of sending Bob packing.
    I suspect Bobs growing attitude/anger management problem could be in response to Shannons growing distance and carefully planned sabotage because she has feelings for the man she is bumping uglies with and wants out...but of course doesnt want to look like a hoor. Create conflict, then boo hoo about how you just cant get along and cant be married, and tie a big pretty pink bow around it.

    truth is, this wreeks of an affair.
    Last edited by Mavis Fesselmeyer; 06-03-09 at 01:33 PM.
    06-03-09 01:29 PM
  15. syb0rg's Avatar
    I suspect Bobs growing attitude/anger management problem could be in response to Shannons growing distance and carefully planned sabotage because she has feelings for the man she is bumping uglies with and wants out...but of course doesnt want to look like a hoor. Create conflict, then boo hoo about how you just cant get along and cant be married, and tie a big pretty pink bow around it.

    truth is, this wreeks of an affair.
    You know what, this kinda does make since because last week she was asking me if i thought it was okay to go out on a date/see other guys, while her and tim were separated. and last night she said " he has a 4yr old daughter and 6yr old daughter and her daughter really like him and his two kids.

    now how would she know if they like each other - if they hadn't been seeing each other.
    06-03-09 01:41 PM
  16. 12MaNy's Avatar
    2) Shannon wants my wife and i to go on a double with her and her new boyfriend - but i really don't know that i should because she is still married to bob....
    Ummmm...what do you mean by "go on a double"?
    06-03-09 01:48 PM
  17. syb0rg's Avatar
    Ummmm...what do you mean by "go on a double"?
    Double date - (my wife and I) go out with (Shannon and Shannon's new BF)
    06-03-09 01:51 PM
  18. bumblesbounce's Avatar
    My wife and I are 100% "A OKAY"


    but we do have a friend that happens to be a female. her name is shannon, that is married, to a guy name "Bob". Well shannon and Bob started having some problems. These problems got to the point where Bob had to move out of the house and got an apartment, while Shannon is still living at the house that her and Bob bought. to give a time frame bob and shannon have been apart for about 6 weeks. Well i find out last night that due to Bob having a major attitude/anger problem that is getting worse by the day. due to this fact - shannon filed for a divorce, and now has a new boyfriend.

    so here are my questions.

    1) would you personally consider that cheating since she is still married to Bob, but keep in mind the divorce papers have been filled out - just waiting on Bob to sign them.

    2) Shannon wants my wife and i to go on a double with her and her new boyfriend - but i really don't know that i should because she is still married to bob....
    It is cheating; and you support it if you go with them on a date. No ambiguity at all. Ask yourself the same question as if it were your wife with the boyfriend...you'd feel cheated on right? Most states have/require some type of conciliation/mediation program before divorces are final which might have given them an avenue back to marriage; no chance now probably.
    And what a fine bit of role model work for the daughter to look up to...I wonder if at any time the Mom asked her kid to not say anything to Dad about her "friend"?
    Last edited by bumblesbounce; 06-03-09 at 02:12 PM.
    06-03-09 01:56 PM
  19. Mavis Fesselmeyer's Avatar
    You know what, this kinda does make since because last week she was asking me if i thought it was okay to go out on a date/see other guys, while her and tim were separated. and last night she said " he has a 4yr old daughter and 6yr old daughter and her daughter really like him and his two kids.

    now how would she know if they like each other - if they hadn't been seeing each other.
    Back up the bus......there are kids involved? Wow. Klassy woman. Yes, "Klassy" with a K

    (and yeah.....I have a feeling as time goes on and she gets sloppy in the info she discloses, you will be putting lots of 2 and 2s together)
    06-03-09 02:12 PM
  20. syb0rg's Avatar
    Back up the bus......there are kids involved? Wow. Klassy woman. Yes, "Klassy" with a K

    (and yeah.....I have a feeling as time goes on and she gets sloppy in the info she discloses, you will be putting lots of 2 and 2s together)
    Oh man YOU HAVE NO CLUE i was trying to keep as plain and dry as i could

    if you want i'll send you my PIN and i can fill you in.


    BTW she had one kid by Bob before they were dating, one after they got married, but she gave that one up to adoption.
    06-03-09 02:21 PM
  21. Username00089's Avatar
    Oh man YOU HAVE NO CLUE i was trying to keep as plain and dry as i could

    if you want i'll send you my PIN and i can fill you in.


    BTW she had one kid by Bob before they were dating, one after they got married, but she gave that one up to adoption.
    Note to men: The above quote is a good reason why not to get married.

    06-03-09 02:28 PM
  22. Mavis Fesselmeyer's Avatar
    Oh man YOU HAVE NO CLUE i was trying to keep as plain and dry as i could

    if you want i'll send you my PIN and i can fill you in.


    BTW she had one kid by Bob before they were dating, one after they got married, but she gave that one up to adoption.

    *head explodes*

    I think at this point, the question is: how close of friends are you and "Bob"?
    If it were me in your shoes, I would explain to my wife that due to the sketchy circumstances, I choose to distance myself from the situation for the time being. I absolutely would not allow this woman to drag me into this new drama-fest she has created.
    06-03-09 02:32 PM
  23. bumblesbounce's Avatar
    Oh man YOU HAVE NO CLUE i was trying to keep as plain and dry as i could

    if you want i'll send you my PIN and i can fill you in.


    BTW she had one kid by Bob before they were dating, one after they got married, but she gave that one up to adoption.
    Back that bus waaaaaaaaaay up!
    She didn't give any kid up for adoption..they gave a kid up for adoption, right? Is there a more selfish act a "parent" can perform? It makes me sick...this idea of giving kids up for adoption is kind of a mind bender...I know I don't have the whole story as to why the child was given up...but from the thumbnail you've painted so far I would assume it was a convenience thing?
    We all have to make decisions about what we expect from "friends"...I wouldn't be able to keep company with people who demonstrate this kind of behavior...I'm sure there are people who say the same about me, too.
    06-03-09 02:33 PM
  24. syb0rg's Avatar
    *head explodes*

    I think at this point, the question is: how close of friends are you and "Bob"?
    If it were me in your shoes, I would explain to my wife that due to the sketchy circumstances, I choose to distance myself from the situation for the time being. I absolutely would not allow this woman to drag me into this new drama-fest she has created.
    I'm not close to Bob at all, we only talk because my wife and Shannon are close friends.

    i agree in fact when everything is going good Shannon is there to talk to if you want to talk to her, but when things are shady - she comes running to you. and we're (my wife and i) are the type not to turn anyone away due to one reason or another. in fact we've only told one person ,as a couple, not to bother us anymore.
    06-03-09 02:35 PM
  25. kaylexty#AC's Avatar
    I agree. The new guy has probably around for awhile before she got to the point of sending Bob packing.
    I have a couple sayings about women one of them being is that they are like monkeys they don't let go of one branch til they have a hold of another. They being said I'm going thru something similar with my wife we've been sdperated since december and both of us have dated other peopl. So I obviously don't see anything wrong with her having a new bf. As for the double date thing if you and bob were friends in any way I wouldn't go if that's not the case and you feel comfortable then by all means go.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    06-03-09 02:38 PM
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