1. goldwinger88's Avatar
    I have to travel so this joke is early.
    Although some may not see this as a Joke, but as Truth!

    To Those of You Born between 1930-1979

    1930's, 40's, 50's, 60's and 70's!

    First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

    They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.

    Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints.

    We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and, when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.

    As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.

    Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

    We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

    We shared one soft drink with four friends from one bottle and no one actually died from this.

    We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And we weren't overweight. WHY?

    Because we were always outside playing...
    that's why!

    We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

    No one was able to reach us all day.
    And, we were okay.
    We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.

    We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no Nickelodeon, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms.

    WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them!

    We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

    We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever.

    We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

    We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them.
    Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.

    Imagine that!!

    The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law!

    These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

    The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

    We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.
    If YOU are one of them, CONGRATULATIONS!

    You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives "for our own good.
    05-11-09 07:08 PM
  2. goldwinger88's Avatar
    OK OK Ok ,
    So you dont think I am not a funny guy...
    Here's one for ya

    Nursing Home Sex...

    Harold is 95 and lives in a Senior Citizen Home.
    Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit and ponder his ccomplishments and long life.
    One evening, Mildred, age 87, wanders into the garden.
    They begin to chat and before they know it, several hours have passed.
    After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred and asks, 'Do you know what I miss most of all?'
    She asks, 'What?' 'Sex!!' he replies.
    Mildred exclaims, 'Why you old fart. You couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!'
    'I know,' Harold says, 'but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while.'
    Well, I can oblige,' says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it.
    Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood.
    Then one night Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was O.K.
    She walked around the Senior Citizen Home where she found him sitting by the pool with Ethel, another female resident, who was holding Harold's manhood!
    Furious, Mildred yelled, 'You two-timing son of a *****! What does Ethel have that I don't have?'
    Old Harold smiled happily and replied, 'Parkinson's.'
    05-11-09 07:11 PM
  3. ronnie51's Avatar
    This is a great convo piece. Wish I could email it to the now generations of kids born in the 80's csuse their ears don't hear anything we say. This really good. Thanks enjoy ur trip.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-11-09 07:14 PM
  4. Username0223's Avatar
    LOL!! Thanks for the early Tues joke! Keep 'em coming!

    As for the above-im a 60's child and all that is soooooooo true!!!! Todays technology is great but sometime overpowering!!! I'm ALWAYS chasing my 5 kids out to play-the video games are for thunderstorm days when its absolutely impossible to play outside! time management-its a beautiful thing!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-11-09 07:16 PM
  5. Username0223's Avatar
    Opps my bad-enjoy your trip as well

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-11-09 07:17 PM
  6. LazyStarGazer's Avatar
    The irony is that those who grew up in these decades are the same ones who have made the changes you mourn. While I wish my kids could have the freedom and innocence that I had, I think their generation will turn out to be different, but not necessarily bad.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-11-09 07:21 PM
  7. 12weezer13's Avatar
    We were just talking about that today when we picked our kids up from school. I miss those days! I knew it was dinner time when I heard my dad whistle half way across the neighborhood. Ahhh memories.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-11-09 07:27 PM
  8. cnorton's Avatar
    Speaking of Nursing home sex I have a joke:

    A son was planning a visit to elderly father in a nursing home. He thought that his father could use a little excitement so he paid a hooker to go to his room. When the hooker entered his room she said, "I'm here for super sex." The old man said, "I'll have the soup."
    05-12-09 09:21 AM