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I came across this article on MSN and wanted to get everyones opinion. Do you think these ways of limiting ones BB addiction can really help?
Living With a BlackBerry Addict
How the wife of a BlackBerry addict tried to stop her husband from chasing the dragon.
By The Nest Editors
My husband is addicted to his BlackBerry. He uses it while he drives, while he watches TV, and, worst of all, while I'm talking. And believe me, he's no multitasker. The other morning I woke up thinking there was a mouse nibbling on something, but it was just my husband sending emails from bed. Funny, yes. Could I let it continue? No. Not wanting to harm my husband's career (after all, that's what this thing is for), he and I came up with three ways to limit his CrackBerry addiction. Then we put each one to the test.
Plan 1: No Crack in the BedroomThis was suggested by many TheNest.com users as the perfect solution (one even named her husband's BlackBerry "Rochelle," since it has unfortunately become his "other woman"). I felt this was too easy. My husband can fall asleep before I even turn off the light, so he was able to check his late-night emails, put BB in the living room, and fall asleep without thinking twice about his phone not being by his side. Did I wake up to tapping and clicking? Nope, the radio alarm was music to my ears. But this method did stall our getting ready-for-work routine because he now had to read his early-morning messages in the living room before getting in the shower.
The Verdict: This helped, but not enough. I was still cuddling with my husband and BB on the couch at night.
Plan 2: Out of Sight, Out of MindSuggested by my husband, he decided that he would put BB on the bookshelf by the entryway (of our 450-square-foot apartment) so that he wouldn't be distracted by the red flashing light that indicates an incoming message. He seemed able to let go pretty easily. Then I noticed something strange: He was really antsy and always pacing. He was checking the closets for things, going to the kitchen, looking at our bookcase. Ahh-ha! Every stroll around the apartment gave him a chance to check BB.
The Verdict:This was a great start, and it's a solution I could live with. I think it would've worked better in a bigger apartment.
Plan 3: Designated Hours
I don't like the idea of being a drill sergeant for my husband. I'm not a neat freak. I don't consider myself incredibly needy. But I do like some one-on-one time. Even if we're watching TV together, it's nice to share something that's funny...and not have to repeat it to a distracted husband who was typing an email (or worse, trying to beat his record at BrickBreaker, the silly game that comes standard on BlackBerries).
I got this idea from a user of TheNest.com who said she had designated non-BlackBerry hours for her husband, where his system is actually turned off. But since we don't have a house phone, this is the only way to contact him, so that wasn't possible for us. We decided that 8 to 10:30 p.m. would be our non-BB time, except for important phone calls (meaning parents, friends, or work). And if I'm on the phone, it's a-okay for him to type away. At home, BB could be checked about every three hours (nothing too rigid formatted, but in that general time frame).
The Verdict: This was a little harder. Not having his phone with him at all times, he went through a bit of withdrawal, and BB would occasionally end up forgotten on the coffee table out of habit (and left there out of my laziness). As time passed, it was great. he would check his phone only before dinner and then again before bed. But every once in a while, I'd see him sneaking in a game of BrickBreaker, especially on shopping trips with me � but maybe that's a reason to keep this thing around!
Final Verdict
The best idea was designated hours, but the real benefit of this experiment was talking openly about my husband's CrackBerry addiction. I used to just roll my eyes or make a joke attempting to let him know how much it irritated me. But after we talked about fixing the problem, he suddenly realized it was a problem. I might not have completely gotten rid of the third member of our marriage, but at least I don't have to eat or sleep with it anymore.08-12-08 12:45 PMLike 0 -
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That lady needs to be punched in the throat! And he needs a new wife!
Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com08-13-08 12:26 AMLike 0 -
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amazinglygracelessRetired ModI am in total agreement with every word in that article and
this get the wife a BB BS is just absurd. How about getting
a clue and recognizing people are more important than
some goddamn phone.08-13-08 01:19 AMLike 0 -
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Your right, because none of that points to the fact that she is controlling, or the fact that it is his bussiness phone, and I'm sure pays for much of the bills they have, but it's ok, she wants to watch tv...
Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com08-13-08 08:31 AMLike 0 -
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LMAO!! Thats crazy dude! Dude should just tell her "It's bizzzness baby!!" in a 'Jerome' from "Martin" type voice...Last edited by dunsuni; 08-13-08 at 10:02 AM.
08-13-08 09:58 AMLike 0 -
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In this case; I don't think the wife is being overbearing in her requests and attempts to get her husband to stray away from his BB a bit less often. Afterall; she's his wife and he's her husband...it's a 'shared' life; not an individiualistic one they live.
The wife should remind herself and be aware of the fact that the majority of the time he's on his BB is because its an extension to the livelihood for both him and her to live in the apartment they live in, the clothes they buy and wear, the bills they pay, the food they eat, etc.
Most importantly; the husband should be AWARE of the reasons behind his wife's requests; and ACT on it. It's one thing to be on one's BB for work-related/livelihood-related things...but to be on it for extraneous pleasure (e.g. BrickBreaker); when being on the BB for business reasons alone is already taking time away from the wifey...is uncalled for.08-13-08 10:18 AMLike 0 -
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I agree Hi-Definition, but if he needs rules to get off the bb, maybe the problem is not the bb,
Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com08-13-08 10:30 AMLike 0 -
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That's what's unfortunate about this...it's reached a point that shouldn't have been reached to begin with; where "rules"/procedures/guidelines have to be suggested in order to take time away from the BB; and put towards their time as husband and wife. This isnt a roommate relationship; it's a relationship in holy matrimony.
One don't have to be married (i'm not) to know this. Marriage takes work, it takes a level of responsibility and maturity. I think both sides in this case realized the issue(s); and both sides took sincere steps to alleviate/solve the issues...that's a good thing.
We don't have other/enough information to know if there are any other problems; or to even know if there is an underlying root to this BB problem. All we know is the BB problem.
your childish obscurity is baffling to me. teehehehe, LMFAO, ROFL, heheh.08-13-08 10:51 AMLike 0 -
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[QUOTE=Hi-Definition;605427]That's what's unfortunate about this...it's reached a point that shouldn't have been reached to begin with; where "rules"/procedures/guidelines have to be suggested in order to take time away from the BB; and put towards their time as husband and wife. This isnt a roommate relationship; it's a relationship in holy matrimony.
but this is my point, if he wanted to spend time with her, he would. One don't have to be married (i'm not) to know this. Marriage takes work, it takes a level of responsibility and maturity. I think both sides in this case realized the issue(s); and both sides took sincere steps to alleviate/solve the issues...that's a good thing.
speaking from a married stand point, I have never set rules/guidlines/procedres, or have them set for me, IMO there is only 3 things you need for a marriage to work, love, trust, and respect, if you treat it like work, it will become work.
We don't have other/enough information to know if there are any other problems; or to even know if there is an underlying root to this BB problem. All we know is the BB problem.
agreed, we don't have enough info, IME, I work 9 hours a day, 10-7, spend roughly 3 hours with my wife, and then go paint, draw, or build tattoo machines untill 2 or 3 in the morning, granted, this is not an everyday event, because i WANT to spend time with my wife, no rules and regs, my love for her is bigger than a phone, or work, but she also understands it's what pays the bills.
hopefully there marriage will work with thier new found rules, all I'm saying is, if you love your partner, you don't need the rules.08-13-08 12:31 PMLike 0 -
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My old lady used to complain about my BlackBerry� but when I got my curve she took my pearl and she hasn't said a word since. Especially when she had a 523 error and I had to re-install the OS. She was awfully glad I was so familliar with it then.
Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com08-13-08 12:43 PMLike 0 -
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I agree with this article completely. Get the wife a BB and it still wouldn't change things. My boyfriend and I both have BBs. When we are together they are away, unless we receive an important phone call. We don't check emails, we don't play Brickbreaker, we are enjoying quality time together. I think for some people this addiction is way too out of control. It is just a phone at the end of the day. Loved ones are more important.
Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com08-24-08 03:51 PMLike 0 -
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For my BF and I we do alot of things together but deff apart... like World of Warcraft ( if anyone knows anything about that ) but He plays on 1 server and i play on another... we sit in the same room not 5 steps from each other so we have our together but doing our own thing time... it's great no arguments, no " we spend too much time together fights " I think she is jsut very jealous... and she needs to find something to oucpy her time when her husband is busy....08-25-08 01:46 PMLike 0
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