[calvinc]

I have been taking road trips with this group of friends every summer (about 6 of them) for a few years. This year I was excluded and never invited. In fact I didn't even know that they were on a trip until they updated their facebook statuses.

Considering all the planning and coordination involved, I am pretty sure they didn't just simply forget to invite me.

My questions are:

1) Should I confront them or play dumb?
2) Should I even hang out with this group of friends anymore? I would think that by excluding someone deliberately is an obvious hint that they don't want that person in the group anymore. Would I appear clueless and stupid if I hang out with them again?

Thanks for all your wisdom and advice

[Radius]

Who knows, the dynamic you and your friends share is a complete mystery to any of us. What's wrong with tapping one and just saying hey, why not invite me? Not ask mean or anything, just a simple question.

[tennislvr8]

Confront has a tone of anger involved. Perhaps what ypu want to do is ask them why no one told you?

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[Laureanne]

I would simply ask one of the group if they could be honest and tell you why.

[calvinc]

Ok I asked one of the girls in the group.

My friend said it was thrown together quickly.But with hotel booking and coordinating each other's schedule, it definitely didn't happen spontaneously. In the past, they would plan the trips weeks ahead.

Then she said they only had one car. The one car explanation doesn't really make sense because they know I have a car as well.

So what now? Accept and believe it. Or accept and move on?

Thanks guys.

[xxxxpradaxxxx]

Given the facts you gave us, I would simply:

Update my FB status stating my sentiments.

That may get through to them better than engaging them in person.

[the_sandman_454]

Since there aren't enough people involved for it to have been a clerical error, I'll suggest the following two words: "Wood chipper".

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[SterlingArcher]

they dont like you
i dont like you

and im dangerous. i have the death sentence in 12 galaxies.

[xxxxpradaxxxx]

That's almost as many as me!

[SterlingArcher]

That's almost as many as me!

the bar. set it high you have.

[xxxxpradaxxxx]

Skinning the dominant species of a planet to make fine coats is a very grave offense apparently.

[SterlingArcher]

Skinning the dominant species of a planet to make fine coats is a very grave offense apparently.

only to the proletariat. and they're barely passable as "the help"

[Pi Guy 3.14]

Wow, thats pretty messed up... Maybe you have a B.O. problem?

[Username00089]

Given the facts you gave us, I would simply:

Update my FB status stating my sentiments.

That may get through to them better than engaging them in person.

I can't begin to tell you how much I hate that from people. If they're all
friends, they should be able to communicate anything to eachother, no matter
how good or bad the situation is. Same goes for any type of relationship.

[xxxxpradaxxxx]

Please tell my you saw the sarcasm dripping in that post!

[Username00089]

Please tell my you saw the sarcasm dripping in that post!

No ......

[Mavis Fesselmeyer]

you two....with your drippiness and oooziness.....

OP: your friends suck. period. that was honestly just crappy. I'd be re-evaluating my friendships.

[Radius]

you two....with your drippiness and oooziness.....

OP: your friends suck. period. that was honestly just crappy. I'd be re-evaluating my friendships.

Murderous rampage time?

[Mavis Fesselmeyer]

Murderous rampage time?

No, thats more for when one of them dares to show up to a party in the same outfit I have on.

I was thinking more along the lines of the flaming sack of dog poo on their front porch

[Blkbear]

calvinc,

Not knowing how often you talk with these friends, or what you might have said to any of them in passing about your schedules, for the time of the trip, it may be that they were under the impression you were busy.

Or it's possible due to things you may have said about your work schedule, not having a lot of spare money, the type of trip that was planned, that you would not have been interested. Or it's very possible that there may have been other people involved that you don't get along with, so to avoid conflict they decided to ask you next trip.

I have friends that would be bored out of their mind on a boat with everyone else fishing, or not even want to be on a boat that wasn't the size of Texas (yeah got a few friends like that)... So they would not have even be asked and I doubt if they would have felt slighted in the least. So next time you all get together, just ask if there are any other trips planned to at least confirm with you that you can or can't go.

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[bpgui]

So time you all get together, just ask if there are any other trips planned to at least confirm with you that you can or can't go.

I'm not sure that will accomplish the desired result. Two different scenarios could bring about the same result:
1. If in fact the OP was purposely not invited, the "friends" may feel guilty or otherwise wish to avoid an uncomfortable conversation and invite the OP on the next trip.
2. If in fact the friends had other more legitimate reasons not to invite the OP (and by legitimate I mean something other than just because they didn't want OP around), the OP is likely to be invited on the next trip as well.

With my group of friends, I'd take it as a pretty clear hint I wasn't wanted around and maybe they aren't really my friends. However, you friends may be different. Either way, I would want to know.

[Blkbear]

I'm not sure that will accomplish the desired result. Two different scenarios could bring about the same result:
1. If in fact the OP was purposely not invited, the "friends" may feel guilty or otherwise wish to avoid an uncomfortable conversation and invite the OP on the next trip.
2. If in fact the friends had other more legitimate reasons not to invite the OP (and by legitimate I mean something other than just because they didn't want OP around), the OP is likely to be invited on the next trip as well.

Sure there may be legitimate reasons for not asking, but the OP wants to know, they will need to ask. Even if to comes down to them being uncomfortable, embarrassed or just didn't want the OP around.

Personally it does not bug me if I don't get asked on trips. At least with my group of friends, cause the group is always doing thing together is many combinations and groupings based on the interests of those going.

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[SterlingArcher]

op should dress up in a bear outfit, break into his friends houses and violate them in their sleep.
THAT WILL SHOW THEM.

[syb0rg]

Honestly, because i am in the same boat as you.... my wife and i are planning a trip in a few weeks with some friends of ours.....

people get invited for one reason and don't get invited for another.

we have a group of people, about 20, that hangs out frequently... and there are only 6 of us going on the trip... why am i not inviting the other 14... simple... i don't like them, and don't know them as well as the other 6. So with that being said.... you need to man up and be okay with the fact you weren't invited... it could of been something as simple as we forgot to ask you... or something serious like...i don't like you.... i mean there are people in this world i would cry at their funeral... but i'd die before i went on vacation with them.

[syb0rg]

op should dress up in a bear outfit, break into his friends houses and violate them in their sleep.
THAT WILL SHOW THEM.

great idea... you do that to me in my house and you'll get a full helping of 20guage shotgun with a side of handgun.