07-24-15 03:45 PM
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  1. Speedv1's Avatar
    Haha these are brilliant guys. More, more!
    03-08-09 12:33 PM
  2. seibs1980's Avatar
    Yo mama is so old
    Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.

    Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!

    Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.

    Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

    Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it.

    Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

    Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

    Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.

    Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.

    Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
    03-08-09 09:08 PM
  3. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    What the heck, SG I know your man enough to handle it, maybe even laugh.

    What do you call a country virgin? A 13 year old that can still out run her cousins.
    03-08-09 10:13 PM
  4. ZEN372's Avatar
    Maybe I should apologize now but here goes:

    What do a pizza delivery guy and a gynocologist have in common?


    They can both smell it but they can't eat it.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    03-08-09 10:19 PM
  5. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Maybe I should apologize now but here goes:

    What do a pizza delivery guy and a gynocologist have in common?


    They can both smell it but they can't eat it.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    Shame on you! Got more?
    03-08-09 10:21 PM
  6. jdoc77's Avatar
    Oh that reminds me of a horrible joke! For this joke, a cougar is a hot older woman...

    What if the pilgrims had shot a cougar instead of a turkey on thanksgiving?

    We'd be eating ***** for Thanksgiving Dinner!

    The follow up to that is... brings a whole new meaning to stuffing!

    Ok. I am banned now for sure.
    03-08-09 10:28 PM
  7. RavenMaverick's Avatar
    Maybe I should apologize now but here goes:

    What do a pizza delivery guy and a gynocologist have in common?

    They can both smell it but they can't eat it.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com

    LOL!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    03-08-09 10:43 PM
  8. tmclean3's Avatar
    Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife,
    and fell into a deep slumber.
    He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your
    sleep, Ralph...'
    Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live
    for. Send me back!'
    St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and
    that is as a chicken.'
    Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his
    home..
    The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and
    pecking the ground.
    A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day
    here?'
    'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have this strange
    feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!'
    'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. Don't tell me you've never laid
    an egg before? '
    'Never,' said Ralph.
    'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'
    Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!
    Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid
    another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.
    As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his
    head, and heard his wife yell.....
    'Ralph! Wake up. You s**t the bed!'
    03-08-09 10:52 PM
  9. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like. The first vampire responds, "I vould like some blood."

    The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, "I vould like some blood."

    The waitress turns to the third vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, "I vould like some plasma."

    The waitress looks up and says, "Let me see if I have this order correct. You want two bloods and a blood light?"
    03-09-09 04:00 AM
  10. rehab0808's Avatar
    What are the two most depressing words in the english language . . .

    "What party"?
    03-09-09 06:54 AM
  11. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Went to the doctor for my yearly physical. The nurse starts with certain basics.How much do you weigh?' she asks. '135,' I say.The nurse puts me on the scale.. It turns out my weight is 180.The nurse asks, 'Your height?' '5 foot 4,' I say.The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5'2'.She then takes my blood pressure and tells me it is very high.'Of course it's high!' I scream, 'When I came in here I was tall andslender! Now I'm short and fat!'She put me on Prozac. What a bitc*!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    03-09-09 11:03 AM
  12. exelant's Avatar
    Two men are out ice fishing at their favorite fishing hole ,
    just fishing quietly and drinking beer

    Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Bob says, 'I
    think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to
    me in over 2 months..'

    Earl continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says,
    'You better think it over - women like that are hard to find'
    03-10-09 09:50 AM
  13. drjay868's Avatar
    Two men are out ice fishing at their favorite fishing hole ,
    just fishing quietly and drinking beer

    Almost silently, so as not to scare the fish, Bob says, 'I
    think I'm going to divorce my wife - she hasn't spoken to
    me in over 2 months..'

    Earl continues slowly sipping his beer, then thoughtfully says,
    'You better think it over - women like that are hard to find'
    LOL... NICE
    03-10-09 03:37 PM
  14. steelst's Avatar
    I had a friend who told me that his new girlfriend told him she wanted to be treated "like a princess". So, he put her in the back of a Mercedes and slammed in into a wall.
    03-11-09 04:32 PM
  15. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Two blondes are sitting under the starlight in a field, somewhere in the mid-west. One blonde asks which the other thinks is farther, Florida or the Moon? The other replies, don't be stupid, you can't see Florida from here!

    Some people are like slinkies, they serve no purpose but to put a smile on your face, when you push them down the stairs.
    03-11-09 08:00 PM
  16. eripmu's Avatar
    For the guys

    What's the difference in making love to a girl with arms and making love to a girl without arms?

    If you're making love to girl without arms and it pops out you have to stick it back in.
    03-11-09 08:55 PM
  17. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Here's an A/V file for ya'll to enjoy:
    03-11-09 10:13 PM
  18. drjay868's Avatar
    Wolf...

    That has got to be one of the funniest things I've ever heard!

    What do you call it when an Italian man has one arm shorter than the other?
    -- A speach impediment.

    Why do Italian teenage boys grow mustaches?
    --So they can borrow their mom's ID
    03-12-09 07:51 AM
  19. drjay868's Avatar
    BTW-- I'm Italian/Sicilian, so relax if you're offended.
    03-12-09 07:52 AM
  20. roeod4's Avatar
    Two blondes lock thier keys in the car. One of the blondes tries to break into the car while the the other one watches.

    Finally the first blonde says "Darn, I can't get in the car!" The other blond replies, "keep trying, it looks like it is going to rain and the top is down".

    Q: Did you hear the one about the blonde who had a bumper sticker that said, "ALL BLONDES AREN'T DUMB?"
    A: No one could read it because it was hung upside-down.
    03-12-09 02:24 PM
  21. roeod4's Avatar
    This is probably my all time favorite joke.

    A guy goes in to see his doctor with an unusual medical problem. When the doctor calls him back and asks what the problem is the man pulls down his pants to reveal that his d*ck is bright orange. The doctor is shocked a immediately starts trying to figure out what might cause this. After a little thought he comes to the conclusion that this could not be anything medical and must be stress related. He begins to explains this to the guy and begins to ask him questions.
    Doctor - Do you have any source of stress in your life?
    Man - No, not really.
    Doctor - Well everyone has stress of some kind. What about your family?
    Man - Well, I'm not married and my parents are dead so I don't really have any family. The last relationship that I had ended not too long ago.
    Doctor - Well this can cause stress. A lack of a personal relationship and the loss of your parents can be a source of great stress.
    Man - Not really. My parents died several years ago and I am really ok with it now. My ex-girlfriend was a horrible person who used to beat me on a regular basis and cheat on me all the time. I hated her and my life has been much better now that she is not in it.
    Doctor - I see. Well, what about work relationships or your job. Do those cause you any stress?
    Man - Not at all. I was fired from my job a few weeks ago.
    Doctor - That must be it. Losing a job and a source of income can cause a person a great deal of stress.
    Man - Not for me. I hated my job and my boss was my ex-girlfriends father so we never got along. Plus, when my parents died they left me a huge sum of money and I never really needed to work.
    Doctor - Well, I can't really think of anything else. Do you have any hobbies?
    Man - No, not really. I mostly just sit around the house watching pr0n and eating cheetos.
    03-12-09 02:43 PM
  22. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Letter from the Boss

    As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Barack Obama is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%. But since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off six of our employees instead. This has really been bothering me, since I believe we are family here and I didn't know how to choose who would have to go. So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lot and found six 'Obama' bumper stickers on our employees' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change, and I gave it to them. I will see the rest of you at the annual company picnic.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    03-12-09 03:38 PM
  23. blackngray70's Avatar
    Two*women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in*horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

    The ball hit one of the men.**He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin,*fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in*agony.

    The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologize. *'Please allow me to help. I'm a*Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you'd*allow me,' she told him.*'Oh, no, I'll be all right. I'll be fine in a few minutes,' the*man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the fetal position,still clasping his hands there at his groin.**

    At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help.*She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side,*loosened his pants and put her hands inside.*She administered tender and artful massage for several long moments and asked, 'How does that feel'?*He replied: 'It feels great, but I still think my thumb's*broken!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    03-12-09 04:27 PM
  24. sodakitty's Avatar
    Bad jokes courtesy of my friend Mandi:

    A tray of muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the muffin next to him and says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!"
    The other muffin screams, "ahhh!! A talking muffin!!!"

    Hmm. That one is better when told in person. :/

    Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
    She had no arms.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    03-14-09 10:00 PM
  25. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Bad jokes courtesy of my friend Mandi:

    A tray of muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin turns to the muffin next to him and says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!"
    The other muffin screams, "ahhh!! A talking muffin!!!"

    Hmm. That one is better when told in person. :/



    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    The joke wasn't funny, but the post mortem comment had me in stitches. Next one will scare some people!
    03-14-09 10:09 PM
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