Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on
their faces. The coroner calls the police to tell them what has
happened.
The Coroner tells the Inspector, "First body is a 72 year old
Frenchman. He died of heart failure while with his mistress. Hence the
enormous smile."
"The second body is an Irishman, 25 years of age. He won a thousand
dollars on the lottery and spent it all on whiskey. Died of alcohol
poisoning, hence the smile.
"The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?"
"Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one.. Nancy Pelosi,
Speaker of the House, 66, struck by lightning."
"Why is she smiling then?" inquires the Inspector.
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but
she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, ' Do
these turkeys get any bigger?' The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're
dead.'
A Blonde brings in a shirt to the dry cleaners & the cleaner says"it'll be ready 2moro." So she says"ty" and the cleaner says "ok come again!" The blonde turns back & says "oh no-its toothpaste this time!"
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MY PRIVATE PART DIEDAn old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home.One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed..Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong,'Yes, Nurse Tracy ,' said Mr. Wallace.'My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.'Knowing her patients were20a li ttle forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, *she replied, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wallace. Please accept my condolences.'The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his Private Parthanging out of his pajamas.He met Nurse Tracy. 'Mr. Wallace,' she said,'You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that.Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.''But, Nurse Tracy I can't,' replied Mr. Wallace.'I told you yesterday that my Private Part died.'Yes,' said Nurse Tracy, 'you did tell me that,but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?''Well,' he replied, 'Today is the viewing.'IF YOU ARE NOT LAUGHING SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU
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MY PRIVATE PART DIEDAn old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home.One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed..Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong,'Yes, Nurse Tracy ,' said Mr. Wallace.'My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.'Knowing her patients were20a li ttle forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, *she replied, 'Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Wallace. Please accept my condolences.'The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall with his Private Parthanging out of his pajamas.He met Nurse Tracy. 'Mr. Wallace,' she said,'You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that.Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.''But, Nurse Tracy I can't,' replied Mr. Wallace.'I told you yesterday that my Private Part died.'Yes,' said Nurse Tracy, 'you did tell me that,but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?''Well,' he replied, 'Today is the viewing.'IF YOU ARE NOT LAUGHING SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU
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