1. STV0726's Avatar
    Rumor reports since 12 PM CST today, 9/6/13, have been confirmed by the WSJ that BlackBerry has agreed to enter into a joint venture with popular US-based restaurant chain Chili's, a wholly owned subsidiary of the parent firm Brinker International, Inc.

    "I will not lie that BlackBerry 10 hasn't caught on in the States nearly as fast as we anticipated," said BlackBerry CEO and President Thorsten Heins today during a closed-door interview. He added, "We seek to take our mobile computing platform to new levels, and while this isn't what we originally planned to do first...or at all...it may work for us in the long run since no medical companies have responded well with BlackBerry adoption, and Siri is in cars too now."

    The WSJ confirms from an internal leaked press release that Chili's is interested in BlackBerry 10 for its potential to replace the simplistic operating system that runs on the small touch-devices patrons can use to order drinks, desserts, and even play games.

    "As the head of operations, I'm really excited about just how much potential this brings for our restaurants all across the US and Canada," said Chili's COO, Kelli Valade. "Down the road, I envision a stronger connection between BlackBerry and Chili's services, and we are not shying away from an eventual merger." When asked if this meant consumers with BlackBerry 10 devices can expect a native Chili's app, she declined with the rationale that the market share is still too low to justify the effort on behalf of their software development team.

    Reports also indicate that a new menu item is being added to select Chili's locations to celebrate the partnership. A blackberry and whipped cream version of their popular molten cake desserts are expected to become a customer favorite.

    Most importantly, rumor has it that BlackBerry 10 will be rolled out slowly to select locations first and will be immediately available to customers. Patrons will be able to NFC-pair their BlackBerry devices with the Chili's BlackBerry table device, which will allow for completely waiter-less service, allowing Chili's to reduce staff. Additionally, patrons can have the calories of their food ordered immediately added to a supported calorie tracking application, such as BodyBuddy.

    More details are expected to come.

    UPDATE: CEO Heins has supposedly commented off the record, "BlackBerry 10 is designed for one-thumb ease of use. If it takes one hand with a fat American Old Timer burger to get the other hand to hold a BlackBerry 10 device, I'm in."



    ~STV on Q10SQN100-5/10.1.0.4780 TMO US
    Last edited by STV0726; 09-06-13 at 06:06 PM.
    09-06-13 05:55 PM
  2. jaydee5799's Avatar
    09-06-13 06:07 PM
  3. STV0726's Avatar
    After i wrote this piece of satire, it occurred to me...

    ...this ain't all that bad of an idea.

    ;D

    ~STV on Q10SQN100-5/10.1.0.4780 TMO US
    09-06-13 06:13 PM
  4. Undbiter65's Avatar
    After i wrote this piece of satire, it occurred to me...

    ...this ain't all that bad of an idea.

    ;D

    ~STV on Q10SQN100-5/10.1.0.4780 TMO US
    God no! I LOVE Chillis! Lol. Damn I think I'm going to get some Chillis on the way home now. Lol

    Posted via CB 10 on my naked Z10
    09-06-13 06:23 PM
  5. BBVegasGirl80's Avatar
    I almost wish this was true, OP. I love their Southwestern Eggrolls! :-P

    Sent from my sexy white hot Z10 in Sin City ;-)
    09-07-13 12:04 AM
  6. birdman_38's Avatar
    Absolutely brilliant! Lol well done OP.
    09-07-13 12:37 AM
  7. birdman_38's Avatar
    When asked if this meant consumers with BlackBerry 10 devices can expect a native Chili's app, she declined with the rationale that the market share is still too low to justify the effort on behalf of their software development team.
    This seriously made me laugh out loud
    09-07-13 12:40 AM
  8. STV0726's Avatar
    Dear Simon Sage,

    Add a write-up on "What if Chili's bought/partnered with BlackBerry" to the list...



    ~STV on Q10SQN100-5/10.1.0.4780 TMO US
    09-07-13 02:26 AM
  9. STV0726's Avatar
    [More Satire]

    CrackBerry Editorial: BlackBerry Partners with Chili's?!?! Oh Yeah!

    By: Kevin Michaluk


    Today is a weird day for CrackBerry addicts out there! BlackBerry has unveiled just what a "strategic partnership" meant all along, and at the same time, puzzled everyone.

    I apoligze for lack of coverage on this matter, but I have a good reason: I was selected as a beta tester for the system! That's right fellow CBers, your editor-in-chief, Kevin Kevin Kevin-Kevin Michaluk, the one and only, was selected to try the new system at a key Chili's location here in Canada.

    Oh boy everyone, let me tell you...I don't doubt BlackBerry's decision anymore. I have had 15 martinis...refills on every flavor they make here...I have had several beers...and some other stuff I forgot about. I flat out knocked my Q10 AND my Z10 on the floor (for those that haven't seen my awesome Q10 dropped in NYC video, go check that out)! I just can't stop laughing...and...crying?

    I am so happy that BlackBerry has found a niche. This ordering system, even in its beta, initial roll-out state, is so good...I don't even care about the PlayBook anymore. This thing let's me keep ordering drinks and not have to get that concerned or scrutinizing eye from the waiter...or my lady...she doesn't even know I'm ordering another drink...in fact, I'm writing this just so I can tell her this is what I'm doing...not ordering another drink. I wonder if they have whiskey sours here...

    Anyway, Kevin out. Kissshkk! (You see what I did there? I spelled out that catchy sound I make when I do the throat thing on camera.)




    Author's Note: Just friendly teasin' ya, Kevin. You know I luv ya! ;-)
    09-07-13 02:53 AM
  10. birdman_38's Avatar
    I love their Southwestern Eggrolls! :-P
    Those sound good, yo.
    BBVegasGirl80 likes this.
    09-08-13 01:13 AM
  11. 00stryder's Avatar
    Oh boy, Adam's gonna have a field day in the morning with that Kevin commentary. Lol good job!

    Posted via CB10 on my white Z10 & lovin' it!
    09-08-13 01:33 AM
  12. pblakeney's Avatar
    BlackBerry regulated to serving food and taking drink orders. Ha...ha..its come to this or has it. McDonald's, Wendy's, Burger King, and Tim Hortons next. White Spot neah Earls let them all come help move forward to the fatning of the nation.

    Posted via CB10
    09-08-13 01:53 AM
  13. BBVegasGirl80's Avatar
    Where's that Beatbox guy who did the Kevin Michaluk song? I would love to hear him do the "I Want My Baby Back Ribs" Chili's jingle, but with lyrics about CrackBerry. That just popped into my head just now.

    Now I'm getting hungry! LOL :-P

    Sent from my sexy white hot Z10 in Sin City ;-)
    09-08-13 03:02 AM
  14. STV0726's Avatar
    Where's that Beatbox guy who did the Kevin Michaluk song? I would love to hear him do the "I Want My Baby Back Ribs" Chili's jingle, but with lyrics about CrackBerry. That just popped into my head just now.

    Now I'm getting hungry! LOL :-P

    Sent from my sexy white hot Z10 in Sin City ;-)
    I'm the guy who did the beatbox lol

    ~STV on Q10SQN100-5/10.1.0.4780 TMO US
    09-08-13 10:44 AM
  15. birdman_38's Avatar
    The OP did the beatbox videos.
    09-08-13 11:15 AM
  16. STV0726's Avatar
    Bumping this in light of tomorrow's supposed big news...

    -STV on Q10SQN100-5/10.1.0.4780 TMO US
    09-11-13 09:22 PM
  17. STV0726's Avatar
    So, now that everyone is throwing in a bid for BlackBerry, this doesn't seem so far-fetched after all...



    -STV on Z10STL100-3/10.1.0.4780 TMO US
    AnimalPak200 likes this.
    10-25-13 07:27 PM
  18. AnimalPak200's Avatar
    So, now that everyone is throwing in a bid for BlackBerry, this doesn't seem so far-fetched after all...



    -STV on Z10STL100-3/10.1.0.4780 TMO US

    Actually, the fact that none of the editors have commented is kinda worrying.

    Posted via CB10
    10-25-13 08:01 PM
  19. STV0726's Avatar
    Actually, the fact that none of the editors have commented is kinda worrying.

    Posted via CB10
    I agree this should make weekend CB headlines.

    Kevin? Adam?



    -STV on Z10STL100-3/10.1.0.4780 TMO US
    10-26-13 04:34 AM

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