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I received this by email and thought it quite funny....so i am sharing....(isnt that kind of me)
DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT
THE EYES: !
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE
GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE
THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS
SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME
ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY
ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT
SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S
A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
I'M A DOT IN PLACE
THE EARTHQUAKES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THAT ***** SHAKE
ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE
AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:
MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER03-14-07 08:41 AMLike 0 -
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Very nice of u Tmag, I especially like election. Keep em comin.
Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com08-11-07 11:46 PMLike 0 -
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Old, but cool, just like "granny". We want more, we want more!! Cmon Tmag I'm sure you can dig some more of these up. They're a hit!08-12-07 08:49 PMLike 0 -
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if funny email pass-alongs are ok, this is my all time favorite...
DOG DIARY
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with my people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
CAT DIARY
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration o f the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released -and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously ********.
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe for now...08-12-07 10:35 PMLike 0 -
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08-12-07 10:52 PMLike 0 -
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I was seriously in pain from laughing so hard when I found that. And it makes me laugh even after reading it 10 times!
Trevor - I'll get out my camera tomorrow and post some photos. My MINI is the best car I have ever driven. His name is Truman and he rocks, rolls and goes really fast!08-12-07 11:12 PMLike 0 -
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in the same spirit....
========================
How to Give your Cat a Pill
1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as thought holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat�s mouth, and gently apply pressure to his cheeks. When cat opens up, pop pill into mouth. Cat will then close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Remove second pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open, and push pill to back of throat with forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10, if you are able. Hold cat�s mouth closed as well.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call for assistance.
6. Kneel of floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, immobilizing front and rear paws. Ask assistant to hold cat�s head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into cat�s throat. Flick pill down ruler with forefinger, and rub cat�s throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from living room valance.
8. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set aside for later gluing. Remove third pill from foil wrap.
9. Wrap cat in beach towel and ask assistant to lie prone on cat with cat�s head visible under assistant�s armpit. Put pill in end of paper tube you�ve made for this purpose. Then, force cat�s mouth open with pencil and blow.
10. Check label to make sure pill is not lethal to humans. Sip water to take taste away. Apply bandage to assistant�s forearm, and remove blood from carpet with soap and cold water.
11. Retrieve cat from neighbor�s roof. Remove fourth pill from foil. Place cat in cupboard and close door on can�s neck and head outside cupboard. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band.
12. Fetch screwdriver from garage, and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek, and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw bloodied, ripped T-shirt away, and fetch another from bedroom.
13. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat.
14. Call 911, ask fire department to retrieve cat from eucalyptus tree.
15. Remove remaining pill from foil wrap.
16. Tie cat�s front paws to rear paws with garden twine, and securely tie to leg of dining room table. Put on heavy-duty pruning gloves. Force cat�s mouth open with tire iron. Drop pill, previously hidden in one ounce of raw hamburger, in to cat�s mouth. Hold head vertically with nose pointed to ceiling, and pour on-half pint of water down cat�s throat, and jiggers of whiskey down your own.
17. Ask assistant to drive you to emergency room. Sit quietly while doctor administers anesthetic, stitches fingers, forearm and removes pill remnants from eye.
18. Drop off cat, along with a generous donation, at animal shelter, and adopt a goldfish.08-13-07 10:00 AMLike 0 -
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