[Gooseberry Falls]

The first few hours have not been good in my life I can tell you. I'm driving around in a black greyhound bus with blacked out windows with some sort of radio in it that I don't understand, I'm sweating from places that God never put sweat glands when he designed us, I feel like a bus driving CIA agent and to cap it all my temporary accommodation is in the officers mess here! God forgive the Americans!

if you play your cards right, maybe you can live out Officers and a Gentleman. I tell you that Escalade is a chick magnet!

[sad_old_man]

DAY 1.

Dear diary, it has been somewhat of a traumatic day so far and it didn't help returning to the CB forum of Hell. I have been given a black and I do mean black greyhound bus to drive and everywhere is surrounded by water.

I went to meet a woman called Mirrabell who turned out to be a man called Malcolm who is going to let me live in the sea. I agreed just to shut him up and prevent me from having one of my fits.

People go through red lights here so it's very dangerous to drive here but it's too hot to walk so what can I do. People stare at you when you do stop but I know they can't see through the black windows so I've started pulling my tongue out at them! It doesn't work because a lot of them smile at me.

I'm staying in a building full of sailors and it's nothing I care to talk about. I have learned to find my way out of the building with my eyes closed if you know what I mean???????????

Off to do a little shopping now so that I have something nice to wear tonight when I try to find something to eat, although I've not seen a KFC yet, only lots and lots of water!!!!!!!

[Hirazi Blue]

Oh, I do hope there will be a happy ending.The suspense is killing me...

[Gooseberry Falls]

Oh, I do hope there will be a happy ending.The suspense is killing me...

Hope he survives tonight. He will probably get mugged at the KFC. Those people are chicken lovers down there...

[untakenusername]

DAY 1.

Dear diary, it has been somewhat of a traumatic day so far and it didn't help returning to the CB forum of Hell. I have been given a black and I do mean black greyhound bus to drive and everywhere is surrounded by water.

I went to meet a woman called Mirrabell who turned out to be a man called Malcolm who is going to let me live in the sea. I agreed just to shut him up and prevent me from having one of my fits.

People go through red lights here so it's very dangerous to drive here but it's too hot to walk so what can I do. People stare at you when you do stop but I know they can't see through the black windows so I've started pulling my tongue out at them! It doesn't work because a lot of them smile at me.

I'm staying in a building full of sailors and it's nothing I care to talk about. I have learned to find my way out of the building with my eyes closed if you know what I mean???????????

Off to do a little shopping now so that I have something nice to wear tonight when I try to find something to eat, although I've not seen a KFC yet, only lots and lots of water!!!!!!!

You're still in the cellar then....

[jpash549]

And don't forget to salute when you come aboard or you'll wind up in the brig. Remember the port side is the left side of the ship as you face the bridge.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using CB Forums mobile app

[FF22]

And don't forget to salute when you come aboard or you'll wind up in the brig. Remember the port side is the left side of the ship as you face the bridge.

Sent from my Nexus 7 using CB Forums mobile app

But there's less Bridge now, so that it might be hard to locate using his Z10!

[bambinoitaliano]

Now I'm off to see a bird call Mirrabell or some other stupid name that's going to show me a house in Floral Avenue? Are you lot born with a sense of humor or what? Where the hell is it for a start I ask myself? Anyway I'll buy it just to get away from all those sailors?????????????

For heaven sake you are on vacation!! I'm surprise your wife did not dump your devices over the ocean. Poor woman.

[anon(4275744)]

Destructive little feline aren't you?

Your not out of toilet paper as long as you can catch the cat!!

From Zed to U via CB10

[FF22]

Your not out of toilet paper as long as you can catch the cat!!

From Zed to U via CB10

Remember to only use the cat fur in one direction - it might chafe if you wiped the wrong way!

[anon(4275744)]

Paws down! Paws down!!
Ear side up!!!

From Zed to U via CB10

[sad_old_man]

For heaven sake you are on vacation!! I'm surprise your wife did not dump your devices over the ocean. Poor woman.

Trust me when I say this. Where I am at the moment I wouldn't take a vacation here to save my life!!!!!!!!!!! I would rather vacation in Wigan!

[FF22]

Trust me when I say this. Where I am at the moment I wouldn't take a vacation here to save my life!!!!!!!!!!! I would rather vacation in Wigan!

If I recall, lots of Brits vacationed in Florida, although that was probably in Winter and not quite at this time of year. Poor planning on your part!

[Hirazi Blue]

Trust me when I say this. Where I am at the moment I wouldn't take a vacation here to save my life!!!!!!!!!!! I would rather vacation in Wigan!

Wigan? Honestly?
We'll really have to air-lift you out, if you continue with the crazy-talk!

[Cynycl]

Trust me when I say this. Where I am at the moment I wouldn't take a vacation here to save my life!!!!!!!!!!! I would rather vacation in Wigan!

There are some lovely vacation destinations in Nunavut (pronounced None of it) .......... it is aptly named. No Humidity and lots of sunshine 6 months of the year.

[9Jer99]

Ok so my eyes are worn out reading posts on possible updates I have decided to join in with the OS upgrade fever.

You can get my 64Gb PlayBook absolutely free.

Here are the terms and conditions: (please feel free to skip these if you work for RIM as you can't participate)

1. If you agree to the terms and conditions then seek therapy.
2. You will only be eligible for the 1st prize if you press the 'check for update button at least 23.5 times a day.
3. If RIM fail to meet their target release date for OS10 then all posts will be deemed invalid and you will be invoiced accordingly.
4. I RIM do meet their target release date for OS10, then you will still be invoiced accordingly.
5. Proof of frenzied checking for OS updates must be provided by the winner.
6. If anyone actually agrees to these terms and conditions, rule 1 applies.

Now you lucky people, this is what you get:

1 x Absolutely FREE BlackBerry PlayBook 64Gb with portable charger, protective case and a 'Polo' Leather messenger shoulder bag.
1 x Used Ferrari car in Red. Perfect condition. 9500 miles. Full service history.

The first person to prove that RIM has finally managed to achieve an OS update target, and to transfer �128,000.00 into my account will receive my PB 64Gb free inside the car.

Please note that the car will only be delivered if you live within 15ft of my driveway and should you require p&p it will cost a further �65,000.00 but the car will arrive gift wrapped.


Attachment 132558

Congrats! You had it right all along.
You must have had another BB product to get so savvy.

[sad_old_man]

Congrats! You had it right all along.
You must have had another BB product to get so savvy.

I do worry sometimes. As it happens until the 29th I am on a kind of vacation. Finding somewhere to live and settling in? I don't understand the American way of doing things but I've already given up! They are just mad! The wife doesn't fly out until the 25th so I am young single an..... Ok I'm on my own until then. That doesn't mean I can't enjoy my freedom but it's nearly impossible here.

I went out last night in search of food. A simple enough task you may think but not here. I dressed for dinner as usual and by the time I climbed into the greyhound bus I looked liked a drowned rat!. I then drove to the KFC I had spotted with the heater on to dry my clothes off. By the time I arrived in was wetter than when I set off and had lost 1.5 stone in weight.

I returned home to my wotsits

[dphjeff]

You should have went to The Bull and The Whistle. You could have taken your clothes off to let them dry. Besides you need to turn on the AC to remove moisture.
Could be worse you could be in Cincinnati.

[sad_old_man]

You should have went to The Bull and The Whistle. You could have taken your clothes off to let them dry. Besides you need to turn on the AC to remove moisture.
Could be worse you could be in Cincinnati.

Please please have mercy on a poor lost soul in a heathen country! Just tell me which damn way to go to get to Cincinnati for gods sake and what's AC? If you mean am I gay then no!!!!!!

[FF22]

Please please have mercy on a poor lost soul in a heathen country! Just tell me which damn way to go to get to Cincinnati for gods sake and what's AC? If you mean am I gay then no!!!!!!

Well, if your darn ancestors had not been so reprehensible with those tea and newspaper taxes, we might have hung on longer and you could have taught us properly.

[dphjeff]

AC is air conditioning.
Take US1 north to Florida Turnpike take it to I75 north and you will be there in about 19.5 hours..
You will learn to overlook stupid people and there is a lot of us here in the USA.

[anon(4275744)]

Paws down! Paws down!!
Ear side up!!!

From Zed to U via CB10

I gave this post of mine a lot if thought, while I was waiting for it to cool off enough to sleep.
I probably shouldn't have posted it, without proper instructions :
grab the feline by the ears and the tail... claws down. Apply an "up or down" motion I sincerely hope no one was hurt!

From Zed to U via CB10

[sad_old_man]

AC is air conditioning.
Take US1 north to Florida Turnpike take it to I75 north and you will be there in about 19.5 hours..
You will learn to overlook stupid people and there is a lot of us here in the USA.

Sorry my mistake I'm suffering from the heat. I meant I4 I just got carried away with the I's. I'm still not turning gay?

[dphjeff]

You may staying with all the seamen.

[sad_old_man]

You may staying with all the seamen.

My door is always locked?