04-17-08 06:59 PM
93 1234
  1. JCINISTA's Avatar
    26 sure fire ways to let a girl know you care!

    1. when she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes. and girls love that.

    2. never hold her hand. this can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

    3. once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. girls are like dogs. they love to be roughed up.

    4. call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. if she is say you better be , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. this will show her you care.

    5. when she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. this will pave the way for her own personal improvement. and every girl needs some improvement.

    6. recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. because jewelry is for pussies and asian ladies.

    7. if youre talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. Girls love competition.

    8. tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. then take her to a burning tire yard. when she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. then drive her home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can."

    9. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". women love those special nicknames.

    10. pull with her hair. girls like it when you play with their hair

    11. warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. rather, look her in the eyes and tell her to run a lap and that she could use the exersise

    12. Take her to a party. When you get there shell have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the partys dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.

    13. make her laugh. a good way to do this is if she has a small pet. kick the pet. i always find stuff like that funny. why shouldn't girls?

    14. let her fall asleep in your arms. when she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. like basketball.

    15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.

    16. if you care about her never ever tell her. this will only give her self confidence. then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.

    17. Every time youre in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way shell go crazy.

    18. Take her out to dinner. Right when shes about to order interrupt and say no shes not hungry. make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.

    19. look her in the eyes and smile. then clock her one. girls love a spontaneous guy.

    20. give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. but not a sexy cologne smell. a bad smell.....b.o. its wise to use a gym shirt

    21. When its raining keep asking her if shes crying. Shell say no its just the rain ten minutes later turn to her and just scream at her "stop crying you baby" Girls like a tough man as i've already stated.

    22. if youre listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. this way she'll think you're mysterious.

    23. remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects arent important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.

    24. when she gives you a present on your birthday, christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it. then next time you know she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. girls actually don't like this one that much but i think it's funny.

    25. If shes mad at you for not calling her when you say you will promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call youre going to tell her a special surprise. Now shell be really excited. Now dont call.

    03-26-08 01:10 AM
  2. drchaos619's Avatar
    A guy walks into a bar and orders three pints. He drinks all three and leaves. The next day, he comes in and orders three pints, drinks them, and leaves. The third day, he orders three pints and the bartender goes, "so every day for the past few days, you've ordered three pints, and left. Why three?" To his inquiry, the man replies, "When my 2 best friends are alive and well but aren't here, I drink for them." The bartender nods his head in agreement, and leaves him alone. The next day he walks in but orders only two pints. The bartender comes over and says "Oh I'm sorry!" the gentlemen looks with a puzzled gaze. "Oh!" said the bartender, "You ordered only two pints...I thought that maybe something happened to your friends!" The gentlemen replies, "Oh no, I just gave up drinking beer for lent."
    03-26-08 02:22 AM
  3. Kara81's Avatar
    Good Morning CrackBerry Fam, here's one I found to be funny not ha ha ha hilarious PIMP (pizzin in my pants) but here it goes:

    Dad cooks a deer and doesn't tell the kids what it is... He gives 1 clue... Its what your Mom calls me... The boy yells its a fcukin' DCIK don't eat it!!! LMAO!!!!
    03-26-08 08:25 AM
  4. Kara81's Avatar
    Here's another one I think is funny... Here it goes:

    A man had lost one of his arms. One day he had had it. He decided to commit suicide. He got on an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. As he was standing on the ledge looking down, he saw this man skipping along, whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked a lil closer and saw that this man didn't have any arms at all!!!

    He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself. I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk happy and going on with his life.

    He hurried down and caught the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms and felt ugly and useless and was going to kill himself.

    He thanked him again for saving his life and he knew that he could make it with one arm if that guy could go on with no arms.

    The man with no arms began dancing and kicking up his heels again. The one armed man asked, "Why are you so happy anyway?"

    He said, "I'm NOT happy... my azz itches!!!"

    03-26-08 08:51 AM
  5. mzshey2x's Avatar
    Little Red Riding Hood is on the way to her Grandmother's again & she sees a different wolf crouching in the bushes.

    "Oh Wolf, what big eyes you have!" She called, keeping her distance. The wolf looked up and ran off.

    Red kept walking and she once again saw the Wolf crouching near a large rock. "Oh Wolf, what big ears you have!" The wolf once again ran off before answering her.

    Finally, she was near her Grandmother's & she spotted the wolf once again crouching near a large tree.

    "Oh Wolf -- " but before she could finish, the Wolf got up angrily & said - "Geez, let me take a **** already!"
    03-26-08 09:47 AM
  6. Kara81's Avatar
    I'm trying to figure out what the **** means but LOL!
    03-26-08 10:11 AM
  7. mzshey2x's Avatar
    s-h-i-t.. LOL
    03-26-08 12:01 PM
  8. Kara81's Avatar
    03-26-08 12:37 PM
  9. Kara81's Avatar
    03-26-08 12:38 PM
  10. mzshey2x's Avatar

    No problem!
    03-26-08 01:02 PM
  11. jrnee1's Avatar
    there was a boy named lil johnie who was in the first grade. One morning lil johnie was in class and the teacher said before we take our test this morning i have a lil game to play to help get your minds working. the teacher said im gonna put something behind my back describe it and you tell me what it is. ok said the teacher i have something behind my back, it round, soft and you can eat it. lil johnie raised his hand and said an orange. the teacher said no its an apple good try but i like the way your thinkin. the teacher put something else behind her back and said its round, long and you can write with it. lil johnie raised his hand and said is it a pencil. the teacher said no its a pen. good try but i like the way your thinkin. lil johnie said can i try. the teacher replied sure. lil johnie said i have something behind my back. its round, hard and has a head. the teacher said im sorry johnie but we dont talk like that in here. lil johnie said no its a quarter. good try but i like how your thinkin.
    03-26-08 01:13 PM
  12. Kara81's Avatar
    HA HA HA...
    03-26-08 01:26 PM
  13. hal737's Avatar
    hahaha i like the little johnny one..this one is similar

    What is six inches long with a head on it, that women like to blow?

    03-26-08 02:28 PM
  14. mzshey2x's Avatar
    So a guy walks into a tattoo parlor & asks to have a 50 dollar bill tattooed on his 'piece'. The tattoo artist shrugs but can't help but let curiosity become him and asks the man why he wants a 50 dollar bill on his 'piece'.

    The man says he has 3 reasons -

    1 - He likes to play with his money.
    2 - He likes to see his money grow.
    3 - When his wife wants to go and blow 50 bucks, she won't have to leave the house.
    03-26-08 06:26 PM
  15. s.f.clk02's Avatar
    So a guy walks into a tattoo parlor & asks to have a 50 dollar bill tattooed on his 'piece'. The tattoo artist shrugs but can't help but let curiosity become him and asks the man why he wants a 50 dollar bill on his 'piece'.

    The man says he has 3 reasons -

    1 - He likes to play with his money.
    2 - He likes to see his money grow.
    3 - When his wife wants to go and blow 50 bucks, she won't have to leave the house.
    hahaa good one lol alittle odd coming from a women but good one
    03-26-08 07:10 PM
  16. mzshey2x's Avatar
    hahaa good one lol alittle odd coming from a women but good one
    lol, why is it odd? LOL!

    girls are just as bad as guys can be.. we're just better at hiding it!
    03-26-08 07:12 PM
  17. chaz_cb's Avatar
    lol, why is it odd? LOL!

    girls are just as bad as guys can be.. we're just better at hiding it!
    If anything, it's funnier coming from a woman... imo
    03-26-08 07:13 PM
  18. supermaryo's Avatar
    Have a laugh !!!

    A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car when she was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also blonde.
    The blonde cop asked to see the blonde womans drivers license. She dug thru her purse and was getting progressively more agitated.
    What does it look like, she finally asked. The policewoman replied, Its square and it has your picture on it. The driver finally found a square mirror in her purse, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. Here it is, she said.
    The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
    okay, you can go. I didnt realize you were a cop !
    03-26-08 07:24 PM
  19. renegade37918's Avatar
    so off topic
    03-26-08 07:51 PM
  20. Kara81's Avatar
    LMAO!!! Good Morning Everyone
    03-27-08 09:02 AM
  21. supermaryo's Avatar
    ROTFLMAO ! Good One !

    If a Bi-Sexual goes missing, do you put thier picture on a carton of half and half?

    Can an orphan eat at a Family style restaurant?
    03-27-08 09:04 PM
  22. JCINISTA's Avatar
    so a guy is kinda lonely and goes to a pet store to buy a pet that he can hang out with.. he looks around and decides to buy a centipede..

    he walks outside with the centipede in a box.. and whispers into the box... "hey, do you want to go to a bar?"

    no answer

    he says it a little louder, "hey do you want to go to a bar?"

    still no answer

    the guy, losing his patience, shakes the box and yells, "HEY, DO YOU WANT TO GO TO A BAR!?!"

    then a little tiny voice from the box says, sounding annoyed, "i heard you the first time, i'm putting on my shoes!!!"
    04-01-08 05:11 AM
  23. dekay's Avatar
    In a perfect world... spammers would get caught, go to jail, and share a cell with many men who have enlarged their penisses, taken Viagra and are looking for a new relationship.
    04-01-08 05:17 AM
  24. TheAznBradPitt's Avatar
    what animal wouldnt you want to play cards with?

    04-03-08 01:51 AM
  25. JCINISTA's Avatar
    womp womp.
    04-03-08 03:25 AM
93 1234