01-29-09 10:25 PM
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  1. smokeyjoe's Avatar
    Why do women wear panties? because federal & state law requires all manholes be covered when not in use!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-12-08 05:05 PM
  2. smokeyjoe's Avatar
    A girl is naked in front of the mirror & says 2 her boyfriend "i feel fat & ugly, give me a compliment" he says, "u have perfect vision."

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-12-08 05:13 PM
  3. smokeyjoe's Avatar
    What did the blonde say when she opened the box of cheerios? Look! Doughnut seeds!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-12-08 05:15 PM
  4. Tigger1975's Avatar
    Lmao smoky keep em coming!! My husband is lhao!! He is a hard one to make laugh

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-12-08 06:58 PM
  5. smokeyjoe's Avatar
    Yeah my boyfriend liked em too! I got a bunch, but most of them aren't veary clean!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-12-08 09:23 PM
  6. smokeyjoe's Avatar
    Redneck saying of the day...She is nuttier than a squirrel turd!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-12-08 09:26 PM
  7. smokeyjoe's Avatar
    Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pac-Man, for 25 cents that b!tch would swallow balls til she died!!

    I am trying to keep these as clean as I can.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-12-08 09:29 PM
  8. Tigger1975's Avatar
    Well as far as clean I don't mind personally but others might. I know the site censors a lot so ppl would have to use their imagination a little lmao.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-12-08 09:31 PM
  9. smokeyjoe's Avatar
    If you have 10 fish, 5 drown. 2 come back 2 life. How many do you have left? Stop counting dumb a$$ fish cant drown!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-12-08 09:31 PM
  10. smokeyjoe's Avatar
    A horny husband was helping wife set up a pass word for computer he typed PENi$.His wife fell out of her chair laughing when it said "ERROR, NOT LONG ENOUGH"

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-12-08 09:34 PM
  11. smokeyjoe's Avatar
    Ok. I guess that's all for now. Anyone one else? I love to pass good jokes around

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-12-08 09:37 PM
  12. smokeyjoe's Avatar
    Three women are sitting in a doctors office waiting for their
    pregnancy test results. The Brunette says, "If I'm pregnant it will be
    a girl because I was on the bottom." The red head replies,"If I'm
    pregnant I will have a boy because I was on top." The Blonde stops,
    thinks a minute and and says, "Then I'm gonna have puppies !"

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-13-08 06:49 AM
  13. contractorslim's Avatar
    Driving on ice is like having sex doggie style. One slip and you can really **** up someones rearend. Drive safe this winter!
    There's my contribution!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-13-08 12:30 PM
  14. contractorslim's Avatar
    Sorry didn't mean the bad language! Can't edit on bb will fix when I get home sorry bout that everyone!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-13-08 12:31 PM
  15. smokeyjoe's Avatar
    A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep $h!t."

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-13-08 01:41 PM
  16. smokeyjoe's Avatar
    MAN:
    1) Pull up to machine
    2) Wind window down
    3) Insert ATM card, enter PIN
    4) Retrieve cash
    5) Drive away

    WOMAN:
    1) Pull up to machine
    2) Open door (too far away from machine)3) Search through all of the 112 compartments in handbag for ATM card
    4) Do make up, apply lipstick, fix hair
    5) Insert Card
    6) Remove card
    7) Insert card the correct way up
    8) Search for piece of paper with PIN on it
    9) Enter PIN
    10) Enter correct PIN
    11) Retrieve cash, put in bag
    12) Drive off
    13) Reverse back to machine
    14) Retrieve card
    15) Drive three miles away
    16) Release hand-brake

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-13-08 03:39 PM
  17. smokeyjoe's Avatar
    FINE
    This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments. FIVE MINUTES
    This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.
    NOTHING
    This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"
    GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows)
    This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"
    GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
    This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.
    LOUD SIGH
    This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an ***** at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
    SOFT SIGH
    Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.
    THAT'S OKAY
    This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."
    GO AHEAD!
    At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble. PLEASE DO
    This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"
    THANKS
    A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.
    THANKS A LOT
    This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-13-08 03:47 PM
  18. smokeyjoe's Avatar
    A man asked his wife what she'd like for her birthday. "I'd love tobe eight again." she replied. On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her off to the local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, every thing there was. Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. Right away, they journeyed to a McDonald's where her loving husband ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to the movies: the latest Star Wars epic, a hot dog, popcorn, all the Coke she could drink, and her favorite lolly and M&M's. What a fabulous adventure! Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his precious wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, Well, Dear, what was it like being eight again?" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed. "I meant my dress size!!!!!!!The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he's gonna getit wrong!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-13-08 05:37 PM
  19. Tigger1975's Avatar
    Poor honeymoon

    Three daughters were going to get married but their family was so poor that they all had to get married on the same day and had to have their honeymoon at home. That night, the mother was walking through the hallway astounded to hear screaming in her oldest daughters room. She ít want to barge in, so she just walked on. In her middle childs room she heard loud laughing. She kept walking to hear nothing in her youngest child bedroom. The next day at breakfast the daughters were all at the table. The mother turns to the oldest and asks "why did I hear screaming in your bedroom" The daughter thinks about it for a minute and says "mother you always taught me to scream when I was in pain." The mother looks confused and then asks the middle child "why did i hear laughing in your room last night?" The daughter thinks about it and says "Mother you always taught me to laugh when I was being tickled." The mother thinks about this and nods. Then she turns to the youngest daughter. "Why didn't I hear anything in your room last night?" she asks puzzled. The daughter quickly replies "Mom, you always told me never to talk with my mouth full!"

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-14-08 07:10 AM
  20. Tigger1975's Avatar
    The sad life of a *****!

    i only have 1 eye, my hairs a mess, my relatives are nuts, my neighbors an a$$ hole, my best friends a pu$$y, my owners a ******, every time i get really excited i puke, and worst of all, my owner beats me

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-14-08 07:12 AM
  21. Tigger1975's Avatar
    Ok I started this thread just to share jokes with ppl. I believe that we need to find the humor in all things in order not to go insane!!!! I appreciate everyone keeping it clean coz we never know how young the minds that are reading however.....if ya have a really good one that is to R rated for the thread feel free to bbm me with it I can censor it before posting it if ya like. Really I just like a good joke! Hope everyone is enjoying the thread keep the jokes coming although if possible let's try not to double post the same jokes! Thanks for reading enjoy!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-14-08 07:18 AM
  22. smokeyjoe's Avatar
    Two eggs boiling in a pan, one male and one female. The female egg says "Look, I've got a crack" "No good telling me" replies the male egg "I'm not hard yet!"

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-14-08 08:46 AM
  23. smokeyjoe's Avatar
    You are an Internet Addict when... 1.) You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading. 2.) You step out of your room and realize that your parents have moved and you don't have a clue as to when it happened. 3.) Your bookmark takes 15 minutes to go from top to bottom. 4.) Your nightmares are in HTML and GIFS. 5.) You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one. 6.) You start introducing yourself as "Jim at net dot com" 7.) Your heart races faster and beats irregularly each time you see a new WWW site address on TV. 8.) You turn on your intercom when leaving the room so you can hear if new e-mail arrives. 9.) Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like. 10.) All of your friends have an @ in their names. 11.) When looking at a web page full of someone else's links, you notice all of them are already highlighted in purple. 12.) Your dog has its own home page. 13.) You can't call your mother... She doesn't have a modem. 14.) You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again. 15.) Your phone bill is a heavy as a brick. 16.) You write your homework in HTML and give your instructor the URL. 17.) You don't know the sex of three of your closest friends, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask. 18.) Your husband tells you that he has had the beard for 2 months. 19.) You wake up at 3 a.m. to go to the bathroom and stop and check your e-mail on the way back to bed. 20.) You tell the kids they can't use the computer because "Daddy's got work to do" -- even though you don't have a job. 21.) You buy a Captain Kirk chair with a built-in keyboard and mouse. 22.) Your wife makes a new rule: "The computer cannot come to bed." 23.) You get a tattoo that says "This body best viewed with Netscape 3.0 or higher." 24.) You never have to deal with busy signals when calling your ISP... because you never log off. 25.) The last girl you picked up was only a GIF. 26.) You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a toilet. 27.) Your wife says communication is important in a marriage... so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat. 28.) As your car crashes through the guardrail on a mountain road, your first instinct is to search for the "back" button.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-14-08 01:07 PM
  24. smokeyjoe's Avatar
    Things to do on an Elevator

    Grimace painfully while smacking your
    forehead and muttering: 'Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!'
    ****Whistle the first seven notes of 'It's a Small World' incessantly.
    ****Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask:
    'Got enough air in there?' ****Offer nametags to everyone getting on
    the elevator. ****Wear yours upside down. ****Stand silent and
    motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
    ****When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors
    open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. ****Greet
    everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to
    call you Admiral. ****Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a
    while, and then announce: 'I've got new socks on!' ****Meow
    occasionally. ****Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in
    your nose. ****Walk on with a cooler that says 'human head' on the
    side. ****Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce
    'You're one of THEM!' and move to the far corner of the elevator.
    ****Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other
    passengers. ****When the elevator is silent, look around and ask 'Is
    that your beeper?' ****Say 'Ding!' at each floor. ****Say 'I wonder
    what all these do' and push the red buttons. ****Listen to the
    elevator walls with a stethoscope. ****Draw a little square on the
    floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is
    your 'personal space.' ****Announce in a demonic voice: 'I must find a
    more suitable host body.' ****Make explosion noises when anyone
    presses a button.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-14-08 02:49 PM
  25. smokeyjoe's Avatar
    There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    12-14-08 05:35 PM
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