1. P.H.A.D.E's Avatar
    After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
    How can there be self-help groups?
    If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
    If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
    If someone has a mid-life crisis while playing hide and seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
    If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
    Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow, but only to be troubled and insecure?
    Is there another word for synonym?
    Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
    Just before someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?
    When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?When you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
    When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
    Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
    Why isn't there a mouse-flavored cat food?
    Why do they report power outages on TV?
    Why builders are afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11
    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
    Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
    Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
    Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
    Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a gun at him?
    Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
    Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
    What is the speed of darkness?
    Are there especially reserved parking spaces for non-disabled people at The Special Olympics?
    If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?
    If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
    If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
    If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?
    Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
    If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a hostage situation?
    Can you cry under water?
    What level of importance must a person have, before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
    If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
    Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
    How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases?
    Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours?
    If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
    Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
    Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the room or close the cubicle curtain while you change? Theyre still going to see you naked anyway

    **For The Really Serious People Here: I Don't Really Need Help With The Answers, Just A Joke People!!!
    04-28-08 05:39 PM