1. AlgonqiunBound's Avatar
    I am embarrassed to ask this but ...

    I think my teenage son is involved with drugs. Anytime I try to talk about it he walks away, yells or does anything to avoid the subject ...

    Like every other teenager he is constantly on his phone texting. I am considering buying the spyware I see on the Net to get to the truth. I've tried to find anything that appears to be real but there is so much misinformation out there I can't tell what is crap and what is not. I can't even find a legit site with reviews

    Does anyone have any experience on cell phone spyware? Thanks
    05-16-13 10:03 AM
  2. 3hb78ftg's Avatar
    Welcome to Crackberry. What symptoms to you see to make you think he's using? Which drug do you think he's using and how old is he?

    10,000th word that came to mind on CB...
    05-16-13 10:51 AM
  3. AlgonqiunBound's Avatar
    he's 14, failing in school, barely communicates with us anymore. sometimes his eyes look red or large pupils ....
    05-16-13 01:24 PM
  4. igotaq's Avatar
    Do you pay for his phone? Take the phone away.


    Posted via CB10
    05-16-13 01:30 PM
  5. jasonmelling's Avatar
    Sounds like my teenage relationship with my mom.

    He may or may not be doing drugs. Please tread carefully because if he's anything like I was as a teenager he will hate you for not trusting him. Putting spyware on his phone will not foster a good relationship, ESPECIALLY if he were to find out, and it will only drive him further away.

    if you really want to find out if he's doing drugs, make an effort to take interest in the things you know he does do. Once he knows that you love him (through actions and conversation), then he may trust you enough to open up, or even quit outright because he respects you.

    I broke my moms heart because my grades sucked, and it made the situation worse because she didn't trust me at all (i didn't do drugs or get girls pregnant like she feared).

    So, anyways, that's my opinion and advice from a once "wayward" son. He needs to know that you respect him and love him, and he will return it. Most tenagers aren't going to volunteer respect, right? :P
    hamsterwheel and kbz1960 like this.
    05-16-13 02:04 PM
  6. 3hb78ftg's Avatar
    Sounds like my teenage relationship with my mom.

    He may or may not be doing drugs. Please tread carefully because if he's anything like I was as a teenager he will hate you for not trusting him. Putting spyware on his phone will not foster a good relationship, ESPECIALLY if he were to find out, and it will only drive him further away.

    if you really want to find out if he's doing drugs, make an effort to take interest in the things you know he does do. Once he knows that you love him (through actions and conversation), then he may trust you enough to open up, or even quit outright because he respects you.

    I broke my moms heart because my grades sucked, and it made the situation worse because she didn't trust me at all (i didn't do drugs or get girls pregnant like she feared).

    So, anyways, that's my opinion and advice from a once "wayward" son. He needs to know that you respect him and love him, and he will return it. Most tenagers aren't going to volunteer respect, right? :P
    I very much agree with Jason. Take it from me, a military brat who was very much a rebel to my parents. I was even deported by the US Government at the age of 15 while my father was stationed in Germany for being too much of a trouble maker.

    I know have a 13 year old son and even though my past experience has served me well in raising him and I can offer the following:

    DO NOT fight him on these issues. You need to find a way to bond with your child. In my case it was first always letting him know that he can trust and count on me for anything no matter what. Let him know that even if it's not a good thing, feel free to talk to you about it and explain that finding out from somebody else or when it's too late only makes things worse. Another thing that you need to do is stay active at his school. Getting involved is a good way to show him that you care.

    It will be a hard task for you since he is always going to be under excessive peer pressure and at 14 years old...parents are always the enemy. Earn his trust. ask him every once on a while what he wants to do. take him to a movie every now and then. If he's getting high, which he most likely is, find a way for him to actually see people who are hard core drug users and let him see what happens when you don't say no at an early stage in life.

    Here in Puerto Rico everybody either grew up with or knows somebody who does or did anything and everything. National Geographic even did this Documentary here in Puerto Rico and I highly recommend it so that you see how bad drug use can turn out to be. Even though it has to do with trafficking, the documentary contains some scary images of the end result of serious drug use.



    I've been smoking weed since I was 13 and quit just 5 months ago since I realized it was never actually an important part in my life and that my family comes first. I even had a part of my life for a period of 2 1/2 years of excessive cocaine use. Even though that I smoked almost every day, luckily it never interfered with my life or obligations. I am a proud 41year old businessman happily involved in a 15 1/2 year marriage with a 13 year old son and 2 year old daughter.

    If he's smoking weed he will always have a particular smell on him. As for the eye redness...Buy him some Visine to see his reaction. Just place it somewhere you know he will find it and THAT'S THAT. Not a word more about the drops and if he asks you about it play dumb. It's a subconscious way of letting him know that you know what he's doing.

    Raising a child is not easy and even though your situation is common amongst teens, your child will always be particular being that no child is alike.

    As for spyware on his phone...NO. you will only make things worse.

    But most importantly...do not give up. In his eyes you are the enemy at this crucial point in his life as you are also the one he should count on. He just doesn't realize it right now.

    Please continue to post back. There are many here including myself that will be willing to help and have plenty of experience that can hopefully shed some light.
    Last edited by 3hb78ftg; 05-17-13 at 08:43 AM.
    05-17-13 08:04 AM
  7. hamsterwheel's Avatar
    Just wanted to say that OP, listen to these guys....They obviously have gone through some "stuff" in their lives and can help.

    As for the spyware? NO.

    Jason and 3hb, you guys rock.
    3hb78ftg, jasonmelling and kbz1960 like this.
    05-17-13 11:37 AM
  8. trynacu2's Avatar
    He may or may not be taking drugs, but you do not want to alienate him with accusations. As mentioned by the others, it's important that you try to build a relationship with your son where trust exists. He needs to know he can talk to you about anything without you going ballistic.
    05-18-13 01:59 AM
  9. 3hb78ftg's Avatar
    I am embarrassed to ask this but ...http://www.glpp.info/hu5i.jpg
    Go ahead and ask. The only stupid question is the one that's never asked.

    10,000th word that came to mind on CB...
    05-19-13 11:02 AM
  10. IgotsThis's Avatar
    If his eyes are red, then it must be the cannabis.

    Z10? Why yes it is.
    05-19-13 12:24 PM
  11. AlgonqiunBound's Avatar
    Thank you for all of the replies.

    We are working with a experienced professional therapist who is helping us through the issues with our son.

    I came here to ask advice on phone spyware. We all have BB's and I thought this would be the place to ask. Does anyone have experience with phone spyware? We really need to know which ones work or which to stay away from. Any help on that is sincerely appreciated
    05-24-13 08:40 AM
  12. El Platanero's Avatar
    I'd you have bb10 phone I don't think it exists yet. The older os phones had something called watchdog or something similar. Never used it but at one time I was going to tag my oldest daughter's phone. She just preferred not to have a phone than have the service on it.

    Posted via CB10
    05-24-13 08:53 AM
  13. SkaterGuy2k's Avatar
    Thank you for all of the replies.

    We are working with a experienced professional therapist who is helping us through the issues with our son.

    I came here to ask advice on phone spyware. We all have BB's and I thought this would be the place to ask. Does anyone have experience with phone spyware? We really need to know which ones work or which to stay away from. Any help on that is sincerely appreciated
    Putting a Spyware on your sons phone will only make it worst in the end. The best course of action is to show your son that no matter what the issue is you are there for him. My parents always told me that as long as I am honest with them the punishment will always be less than if I lied. I'm 29 and my parents are my best friends, and I was a very bad kid
    05-24-13 09:11 AM
  14. jaydee5799's Avatar
    I don't believe there is any spyware that can be placed on our Z10s currently. Correct? I haven't heard or read about any so far.
    05-24-13 09:23 AM
  15. 3hb78ftg's Avatar
    Thank you for all of the replies.

    We are working with a experienced professional therapist who is helping us through the issues with our son.

    I came here to ask advice on phone spyware. We all have BB's and I thought this would be the place to ask. Does anyone have experience with phone spyware? We really need to know which ones work or which to stay away from. Any help on that is sincerely appreciated
    "experienced" therapist...have him lay down on the couch and ask him about his childhood. The only way someone is "experienced" is if they actually lived it. As for your question...it helps if you let us know what model your son has.

    Strange you're asking about phone spyware. An experienced therapist would be the first person against this.
    05-24-13 09:27 AM
  16. dbfsdhbhao's Avatar
    Help with phone spyware ...
    05-24-13 10:45 AM

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