04-20-09 09:15 PM
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  1. iobxchick's Avatar
    Well, I'll respond to you directly. I'm not part of the "clique", so perhaps you'll read what I say.

    Let me address the "banning" issue, first. I have my own online community, and have served as a moderator for a few. When admins/mods make a decision to ban a member, the reason(s) are not always known to the community...nor should they be. They may have a bigger picture, that you just don't, and won't have. So, to judge why someone is banned, without having the whole story, is not always a wise move. Like I mentioned earlier, to get banned from CB means you've clowned out your welcome, and that takes a lot, from what I can see.
    I agree with this statement. This not only applies to CB but life in general. I have worked 5 years in property management- I know inside and out the meaning of 'behind the scenes'. Unfortunately it is human nature to say 'perception is reality'. As far as the banning goes- it should be relatively obvious why a person gets banned when they do. This is an online community where we don't interact in person. This is why there are rules. You break them you suffer the consequences. I am a firm believer in 'the gray' meaning things are usually more 'gray' then black & white. It is hard to see the gray when the posts are right in front of you in black & white- either right or wrong. I have been around long enough to see 'Hi-Def', 'Mr. Asterisk', and 'Fence'. From what I have seen none of the individuals have said anything so severe that it would allow me to understand the decision that was made. Honestly, if I have missed something I am all 'ears'. From where I stand I see three individuals who had a difference of opinion and engaged in banter with other individuals who didn't like the opposing responses. I would say that I saw some vicious banter on both sides but I never witness anything that crossed the line. Now, as you pointed out, it isn't my business to know why that decision was made but as a member of CB I find it disturbing and coincidental that these people have been banned from what appears to be pure dislike for those individuals and their points of view. Coincidence does exist in the world but don't you think more times then not the word is just a cover up for the intended truth of the matter?

    Secondly, I have had posts, where the word filter inserted symbols. I had no idea that my word was on the filter list. I'm not a profane person, so I'm not looking for certain words to be filtered, yet they are. So, it's not always about "rebels pushing to the limit". Sometimes it's about words that are filtered out, for whatever reason. Word filters aren't perfect.
    Word filters aren't perfect as you pointed out and as it would appear my statement does not apply to you. I think it is obvious as to what it does apply, all you have to do is search off topic and you will find what I speak of, in fact you can look at this thread and find the purposeful misspellings meant to allude the filter.

    Thirdly, healthy banter is okay. But some of the banter that exists is not healthy. It's very destructive, and the ones most responsible contribute nothing else to the community. So, if all you do is hang out on Off-topic, poised like a snake, ready to strike up discord at any, or no opportunity, then yes, you should be banned. If you see such behavior, report it. You may get labeled a "snitch", but who cares.
    Your analogy of a snake amuses me but I couldn't agree with you more. On the other hand, posting in other CB forums mindless posts to increase ones post count is also ridiculous. As for your 'snake' which I can only assume you are referring to Fence, I unfortunately don't follow you. I took Psych in college too and a true psychopath isn't going to reveal themselves in an online BlackBerry forum, they are much more intelligent then that. It goes back to that 'thick skin' or 'ignore feature' as many other members have stated/suggested. If someone upsets you personally, whatever the forum, here/bbm/real life, it is best to allow yourself time to rationalize the situation before you react. Impulsive reactions usually lead to regret which is never good for anyone.

    Thank you for your honest opinion. As with PG, I appreciate the feedback and the healthy banter.
    Last edited by iobxchick; 03-31-09 at 02:46 PM.
    03-31-09 02:43 PM
  2. roeod4's Avatar
    I agree with this statement. This not only applies to CB but life in general. I have worked 5 years in property management- I know inside and out the meaning of 'behind the scenes'. Unfortunately it is human nature to say 'perception is reality'. As far as the banning goes- it should be relatively obvious why a person gets banned when they do. This is an online community where we don't interact in person. This is why there are rules. You break them you suffer the consequences. I am a firm believer in 'the gray' meaning things are usually more 'gray' then black & white. It is hard to see the gray when the posts are right in front of you in black & white- either right or wrong. I have been around long enough to see 'Hi-Def', 'Mr. Asterisk', and 'Fence'. From what I have seen none of the individuals have said anything so severe that it would allow me to understand the decision that was made. Honestly, if I have missed something I am all 'ears'. From where I stand I see three individuals who had a difference of opinion and engaged in banter with other individuals who didn't like the opposing responses. I would say that I saw some vicious banter on both sides but I never witness anything that crossed the line. Now, as you pointed out, it isn't my business to know why that decision was made but as a member of CB I find it disturbing and coincidental that these people have been banned from what appears to be pure dislike for those individuals and their points of view. Coincidence does exist in the world but don't you think more times then not the word is just a cover up for the intended truth of the matter?



    Word filters aren't perfect as you pointed out and as it would appear my statement does not apply to you. I think it is obvious as to what it does apply, all you have to do is search off topic and you will find what I speak of, in fact you can look at this thread and find the purposeful misspellings meant to allude the filter.



    Your analogy of a snake amuses me but I couldn't agree with you more. On the other hand, posting in other CB forums mindless posts to increase ones post count is also ridiculous. As for your 'snake' which I can only assume you are referring to Fence, I unfortunately don't follow you. I took Psych in college too and a true psychopath isn't going to reveal themselves in an online BlackBerry forum, they are much more intelligent then that. It goes back to that 'thick skin' or 'ignore feature' as many other members have stated/suggested. If someone upsets you personally, whatever the forum, here/bbm/real life, it is best to allow yourself time to rationalize the situation before you react. Impulsive reactions usually lead to regret which is never good for anyone.

    Thank you for your honest opinion. As with PG, I appreciate the feedback and the healthy banter.
    Just a quick comment with regards to banning people from forums.

    You have to keep in mind that what is seen on an open forum is not the only thing that goes on. The open forum is not the only place things can happen that will get you banned either. Some of the things that can get you banned may go as far down as your IP address. For example it has been said that Fence, Hi-def and Mr. Asterisk were all one in the same and if that is the case it could be shown by his/her/it/their IP address. If that is the case, then a person who was previously banned coming back under an alternate screen name would probably get them banned again. I have been a Mod on forums and an Admin on others and this was very common. You also have to keep in mind that the things you say in private, don't always stay private. The really bad things you say in private usually come to light and those can get you banned too.
    03-31-09 03:15 PM
  3. iobxchick's Avatar
    Just a quick comment with regards to banning people from forums.

    You have to keep in mind that what is seen on an open forum is not the only thing that goes on. The open forum is not the only place things can happen that will get you banned either. Some of the things that can get you banned may go as far down as your IP address. For example it has been said that Fence, Hi-def and Mr. Asterisk were all one in the same and if that is the case it could be shown by his/her/it/their IP address. If that is the case, then a person who was previously banned coming back under an alternate screen name would probably get them banned again. I have been a Mod on forums and an Admin on others and this was very common. You also have to keep in mind that the things you say in private, don't always stay private. The really bad things you say in private usually come to light and those can get you banned too.
    Yes the IP address thing makes sense and I can understand how someone who is banned will continue to be banned based on the IP address being the same. But the original point is why the ban? If in fact what you say is correct, that the three were one in the same, the question would go back to the original cause of the ban.... I still do not see the reasoning behind it. And as for things said in private- the forum is public and what you do in private should stay there- its no one's place to referee my personal encounters or yours, we are all adults here (well the majority). I am not emailing site support when someone on bbm (who I met on CB) offends me or I get a PM that is less then desirable. Being a chick on a predominately male forum means you are going to get those ridiculous PM's. I hate to sound like a broken record but you have to grow a thicker skin. Somethings are just better to roll off your back.

    And not that it truly matters but I have created a forum, held an admin position in a forum as well as moderated a forum. Since we are all laying our credentials out there I wanted to make sure I got credit for mine.

    I am thanking everyone who has responded I will continue with the good will and thank you roeod for your insightful-ness.
    03-31-09 04:05 PM
  4. roeod4's Avatar
    Yes the IP address thing makes sense and I can understand how someone who is banned will continue to be banned based on the IP address being the same. But the original point is why the ban? If in fact what you say is correct, that the three were one in the same, the question would go back to the original cause of the ban.... I still do not see the reasoning behind it. And as for things said in private- the forum is public and what you do in private should stay there- its no one's place to referee my personal encounters or yours, we are all adults here (well the majority). I am not emailing site support when someone on bbm (who I met on CB) offends me or I get a PM that is less then desirable. Being a chick on a predominately male forum means you are going to get those ridiculous PM's. I hate to sound like a broken record but you have to grow a thicker skin. Somethings are just better to roll off your back.

    And not that it truly matters but I have created a forum, held an admin position in a forum as well as moderated a forum. Since we are all laying our credentials out there I wanted to make sure I got credit for mine.

    I am thanking everyone who has responded I will continue with the good will and thank you roeod for your insightful-ness.
    Wow, I have insightful-ness! You all heard it!

    Since I cannot legitimately talk about the situation with F/H/M (ok, that is pretty funny) I can speak from my own experience online and in other forums. I had an situation on a forum where another member of the forum stated to send threatening PMs to me. He was threatening me personally along with the rest of my family. Personally I don't care where someone stands on the whole issue, when it comes to threatening someone with bodily harm then that person no longer needs to be a member of a community. I reported the issue to the Admin/mod team and that person was banned. When they came back and started it again, they received an IP ban.

    IMNSHO, this is a place for fun and information. Anyone who starts down a really negative path like that does not need to be here anymore. If they don't see the need to leave, then it is up to the Mods to show them the electronic door.
    03-31-09 04:34 PM
  5. Tlynnsmith's Avatar
    Your analogy of a snake amuses me but I couldn't agree with you more. On the other hand, posting in other CB forums mindless posts to increase ones post count is also ridiculous. As for your 'snake' which I can only assume you are referring to Fence, I unfortunately don't follow you. I took Psych in college too and a true psychopath isn't going to reveal themselves in an online BlackBerry forum, they are much more intelligent then that. It goes back to that 'thick skin' or 'ignore feature' as many other members have stated/suggested. If someone upsets you personally, whatever the forum, here/bbm/real life, it is best to allow yourself time to rationalize the situation before you react. Impulsive reactions usually lead to regret which is never good for anyone.

    Thank you for your honest opinion. As with PG, I appreciate the feedback and the healthy banter.
    Well, I'm glad it does, but it wasn't meant to be funny. I'm talking about ANYONE who uses Off-topic to tear apart people, and never add anything else. Also having socio/psychopathic tendencies doesn't exclude a person from interacting in an online community. Your take is limited to what you can see. So, if you don't see it, then accept that you don't see it...and accept that others may see it (and have seen it). I'm not trying to debate who and who isn't crazy. But if you've only seen one side, then don't assume that your perception of a situation is the only one.

    Re: Thick Skins:
    I don't have a problem with the community, as a whole, and find most of the people to be very nice and helpful. The level of jerks who are in residence, isn't any higher than what's found in most communities this large. Matter of fact, this community is one of the tamest I've experienced. So, maybe my skin is a little thicker than yours, but I won't tell you to toughen up (or use the ignore feature), because your perception of the situation is your reality.


    Oh....and if I ban you (anyone) from my community, that means you're not wanted. Don't come back, trying to trick folks under a different name, and then start up the mess...again. In the cyber world, I call that "breaking and entering". That right there is shady, and means you should have been banned the first time.

    I'm done, and thank you for letting me get that off my chest.
    Last edited by Tlynnsmith; 03-31-09 at 05:04 PM.
    03-31-09 04:41 PM
  6. Tlynnsmith's Avatar
    Wow, I have insightful-ness! You all heard it!

    Since I cannot legitimately talk about the situation with F/H/M (ok, that is pretty funny) I can speak from my own experience online and in other forums. I had an situation on a forum where another member of the forum stated to send threatening PMs to me. He was threatening me personally along with the rest of my family. Personally I don't care where someone stands on the whole issue, when it comes to threatening someone with bodily harm then that person no longer needs to be a member of a community. I reported the issue to the Admin/mod team and that person was banned. When they came back and started it again, they received an IP ban.

    IMNSHO, this is a place for fun and information. Anyone who starts down a really negative path like that does not need to be here anymore. If they don't see the need to leave, then it is up to the Mods to show them the electronic door.
    That's right...and I bet others in the forum were like, "Why did SunRay get banned???? It's not fair! He's a cool guy and folks just don't like him!!". BTW, "SunRay" is a generic alias. I don't actually know anyone with that alias.

    Yep, been there. I moderated in a community, and had the same problem. The member was a stellar individual, on the boards, but a demon off. They decided to get real ugly with a member (which included threats and cyber intimidation), and because of what online interaction can lead to offline, he was banned. Of course, some folks had a fit, because they thought they knew the situation, and they didn't.

    There's too much going on in the world today, to just "let stuff go". Each situation has to be evaluated, and if you're not in the position to see all, you won't know all...and need to let those in charge do what they have been put in charge to do.
    Last edited by Tlynnsmith; 03-31-09 at 04:56 PM.
    03-31-09 04:47 PM
  7. Tlynnsmith's Avatar
    • And you picked him to be your boy friend because?
    • He played games all day before he met you, he's not going to stop.
    • You know he could give a rat's rump about your opinions, but you put up with it because?
    • And you expect him to be happy about being embarrassed by you in front of friends because?
    The answer is, because you are young and don't expect better. I don't spend time with anyone that does not want to spend time with me. He's telling you you are not worth his time when you are with him when he is playing games for hours on end. You know it, but you don't expect better so you put up with it.

    Your opinion like your presences means little to him, especially if it differs from his. He gets nasty about it because most of the time it shuts you up or makes you mad and you leave. Mostly you shut up and he gets his way, because he knows when you cool down you will be there tomorrow.

    His friends make fun of him when his "girl" makes him look stupid, he does not want to look stupid in front of his buddies and you get to be the one that he takes it out in, not his buddies. You put up with it because you like being treated like this. You will say that you don't, but you are still there after being treated in a fashion you really would not take from a stranger on the street. And this is the love of your life? You'd tell your girl friends this was a good situation to be dealing with?

    Alex I'll take dump him and get a puppy for $1000

    Poppa Bear has spoken
    When you write the book, make sure I get a copy...
    03-31-09 09:00 PM
  8. Blkbear's Avatar
    When you write the book, make sure I get a copy...
    If I wrote a book on relationships, I'd be tied to a pole and forced to watch Dr Phil or a 72 hour Lifetime network marathon...

    I think they already did a movie though.. "He's Just Not That Into You" ... I have not seen it, but the title fits, much too often with people settling for crappy relationships.
    03-31-09 09:24 PM
  9. Lady C21's Avatar
    I Wish My Boyfriend Would Just Get A Job Already, I Know Times Are Hard But He Hasnt Really Had A Full Time Job Before. I Feel Liike He Stalls His Time Playing Video Games All Day!!! And He Doesnt Want Any Help From Me And He Always Has An Issue With Whatever Company He Researches.

    Geez I Cant Wait Till He Finally Steps Up!!!! This Drvies Me Soooo Krazy. Im In College And A Part Time Accountant. I Try To Think Im Doing Me, But When It Comes To Him, I Really Wish He Could Be More Productive.

    Anyone Feeling The Same Way???
    03-31-09 09:34 PM
  10. Tlynnsmith's Avatar
    If I wrote a book on relationships, I'd be tied to a pole and forced to watch Dr Phil or a 72 hour Lifetime network marathon...

    I think they already did a movie though.. "He's Just Not That Into You" ... I have not seen it, but the title fits, much too often with people settling for crappy relationships.
    When Greg Behrendt wrote the book (He's Just Not That Into You), I was mad...that he made a mad load of cash, off one of the simplest books ever written. Nothing about it was revolutionary, yet so many women needed to be told that when a man cares about you, he pays attention to you, among other things. But I do know that sometimes women will receive that type of information better from a man, than from another woman.

    Plus, sometimes we give bad info: "He's just busy with school", "He's just shy", "He's intimidated by your intelligence!", and a long list of other wrong answers, when the answer is: He doesn't like you...not the way you like him. Pack up, and press on.

    Write the book!
    Last edited by Tlynnsmith; 03-31-09 at 09:38 PM.
    03-31-09 09:35 PM
  11. simplenigma's Avatar
    ummm...paying $50,000 for an education that is free in other parts of the world sucks...
    04-03-09 10:42 AM
  12. Mavis Fesselmeyer's Avatar
    When Greg Behrendt wrote the book (He's Just Not That Into You), I was mad...that he made a mad load of cash, off one of the simplest books ever written. Nothing about it was revolutionary, yet so many women needed to be told that when a man cares about you, he pays attention to you, among other things. But I do know that sometimes women will receive that type of information better from a man, than from another woman.

    Plus, sometimes we give bad info: "He's just busy with school", "He's just shy", "He's intimidated by your intelligence!", and a long list of other wrong answers, when the answer is: He doesn't like you...not the way you like him. Pack up, and press on.

    Write the book!
    110% agree. That book is pure rediculousness. Its called common sense
    04-03-09 01:28 PM
  13. roeod4's Avatar
    110% agree. That book is pure rediculousness. Its called common sense
    No, Thomas Paine wrote that book.
    04-03-09 01:32 PM
  14. Mavis Fesselmeyer's Avatar
    No, Thomas Paine wrote that book.
    haha! well HJNTIY should have been a pamphlet....a free one at thats available in the junior high guidance counselors office.

    oh well.....someday I too will be laughing all the way to the bank when I finish my book "If He Takes You To His Place and Stops For Condoms Along the Way, He Wants To Have Sex With You!"

    Im sure it will be a huge hit especially amongst the crowd which turn to Cosmo and Redbook to save their marriages
    04-03-09 01:46 PM
  15. Tlynnsmith's Avatar
    haha! well HJNTIY should have been a pamphlet....a free one at thats available in the junior high guidance counselors office.

    oh well.....someday I too will be laughing all the way to the bank when I finish my book "If He Takes You To His Place and Stops For Condoms Along the Way, He Wants To Have Sex With You!"
    Im sure it will be a huge hit especially amongst the crowd which turn to Cosmo and Redbook to save their marriages
    Girl you are a...MESS!!!
    04-03-09 06:20 PM
  16. Lady C21's Avatar
    Yup, its me again, lol. I really wish my boyfriend who step up as a boyfriend, that he claims he is. Always putting off us metting up, cuz he's tired and s***!!! GEEZ... i call his house and he's sleeping, soo tired, but does nuthing alllll day.
    04-18-09 02:40 PM
  17. a_true_gamble's Avatar
    I wish that I van leave to the army already so my problems can just go away at least for one day tired of dealing with baby mom.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    04-20-09 09:15 PM
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