02-07-12 12:14 PM
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  1. middbrew's Avatar
    Granted. You kick a pro $4 a gallon of gas advocate in the whooos. But as soon as you do the price jumps to $8 a gallon for you, while it drops to $1 for everyone else.

    I wish it would stop raining so much.
    03-04-11 01:32 PM
  2. highjakker's Avatar
    granted...but now it's gonna flood for 40 days and nights just in your yard.


    i wish i owned a beach house in maui.
    03-04-11 02:03 PM
  3. middbrew's Avatar
    Granted. But you can never go there because you are spending the rest of your life in prison with your new bunk mate Bubba.

    I wish I was better friends with Charlie Sheen.
    03-04-11 02:14 PM
  4. highjakker's Avatar
    granted but charlie has grown bored with his godesses so he now likes men and TAG you're it!


    i wish i could go back in time to high school senior beach week.
    03-04-11 02:28 PM
  5. LazyStarGazer's Avatar
    granted but charlie has grown bored with his godesses so he now likes men and TAG you're it!


    i wish i could go back in time to high school senior beach week.
    Granted. In fact you catch The Genie on a good day, and he makes it a nude beach, so there are naked, wet, oily bodies as far as the eye can see.
    Did I mention that the 'seniors' are all 65+ ?

    I wish I could teleport.
    03-04-11 04:22 PM
  6. highjakker's Avatar

    I wish I could teleport.
    granted! but you always end up in the opposite place you want to be- even if you try to teleport to the opposite of where you are trying to teleport to. whew...


    i wish i had a job that paid me $450,000/day tax free in gold bullion.
    03-04-11 04:44 PM
  7. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Granted, but the genie hears old bunions. You get paid well, but treating the stinky feet of geriatrics takes it's toll. You soon wish you could give up toe jam, and move back to the pohouse.

    I wish I could fly.
    03-04-11 06:38 PM
  8. SCrid2000's Avatar
    Granted, but you can only do it when you're on an airplane.

    I wish I was done with school.
    03-04-11 10:26 PM
  9. cerealberry's Avatar
    Granted... This morning the dean calls you in.. He reviews your grades,,,, he pulls out a dvd player and turns it on.. There.upon his desk, plays the videos you thought were shot in private... You are immediately expelled... And must learn to say "would you like fries with that"

    I wish I had ruby red slippers

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    03-05-11 07:09 AM
  10. middbrew's Avatar
    Granted. You now have ruby red slippers that you will wear for the rest of your life. The slippers are concrete blocks made by the mafia who toss you in a lake because they think you are a snitch.

    I wish I was the genie that granted the wishes.
    03-05-11 08:49 AM
  11. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Granted, but everybody hates you for ruining their wishes.

    I wish the FDA would list bacon as a separate food group.
    03-05-11 11:10 AM
  12. SCrid2000's Avatar
    Granted, but the food group is set at 0 servings for day, and under Obamacare and sharia law eating bacon becomes a felony offense.

    I wish America got rid of toilet paper and got boudeis.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    03-05-11 11:20 AM
  13. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Granted, but people get too obsessed with that "fresh" feeling and don't vacate the thing for others to have a chance...

    I wish I could produce a soda that tasted like fish but smelled like regular soda as a prank.
    03-05-11 02:09 PM
  14. cerealberry's Avatar
    Granted..... Sardine cola is the new drink... Although soon after one sip it no longer becomes a prank... In fact it becomes an obsession.. You cannot get eough sardine cola.. You pour it on your cereal, you boil your rice with it.... You take long baths in it..... Soon the stench of sardines wreaks from every pore in your body. People shun you. Your family disowns you.. Women run from you.. Its just you and cases of two liters of the soda....

    I wish I had a stretch armstrong.....

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    03-05-11 04:06 PM
  15. LazyStarGazer's Avatar
    Granted. The genie sends you a very old astronaut who once walked on the moon.
    He hasn't showered in months, and suffers from halitosis, severe foot odor, and irritable bowel syndrome.
    The genie was only half paying attention, and thought you said Stench Armstrong.

    I wish I had heat vision so I could melt the snow instead of shoveling it.
    03-06-11 08:29 AM
  16. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Granted, but the first thing that melts is your eyelids. Major sleep deprivation sets in, and you're forced to be a human WTFBBQ, as staring at a PC screen doesn't pay well anymore. Gazing at beauty is out now too, as you quickly discover it's only skin deep.

    I wish I never needed sleep again.
    03-06-11 10:14 AM
  17. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Granted, but since you don't have to sleep, your employer expects you to work 24 hours a day for the same pay as before.

    I wish I owned Fort Knox, and it was still full of gold.
    03-06-11 11:25 AM
  18. SCrid2000's Avatar
    Granted, but the discovery of the mythical city of El Dorado and it's literal mountains of gold sends gold values into a downward spiral (to show that everything has an upside, those annoying radio commercials about buying gold come to an end). After a few weeks, the cost of the property taxes on Fort Knox far exceeds the value of the gold there. The government repossesses everything you own, and you spend the remainder of your life as one of those performers on the streets with a dancing monkey on a leash. And no, you're not the one holding the leash.

    I wish I had a professional cook who made all my meals.
    03-07-11 12:05 AM
  19. cerealberry's Avatar
    Granted.. Chef hans moves into your life. Unfortunately, his specialty is roadkill.. Possum inners stew becomes a staple in your home. If you have CATchatori or rataroni one more time.... Friends refuse all your dinner invitations. Your wife is embarrassed to eat her racoon ear sandwich at lunch...


    I wish I could go on a magic carpet ride.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    03-07-11 08:50 AM
  20. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Granted.. Chef hans moves into your life. Unfortunately, his specialty is roadkill.. Possum inners stew becomes a staple in your home. If you have CATchatori or rataroni one more time.... Friends refuse all your dinner invitations. Your wife is embarrassed to eat her racoon ear sandwich at lunch...


    I wish I could go on a magic carpet ride.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    Granted but the Genie misinterpreted that and *censored*...

    I wish I could have finished that comment...
    03-08-11 05:21 AM
  21. trucky's Avatar
    You finished your comment, but then BBW is muttering as he decides whether to ban you or make you a new moderator.

    I wish the perfect cup of coffee would magically appear on my desk when I snap my fingers.
    03-08-11 06:28 AM
  22. highjakker's Avatar
    granted. but as soon as the sound of your finger snap fades into oblivion so does that perfect cup of java. drink fast!


    i wish i were "hung" like john holmes! (you know SOMEONE was going to make that wish!!)
    03-08-11 07:53 AM
  23. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    granted. but as soon as the sound of your finger snap fades into oblivion so does that perfect cup of java. drink fast!


    i wish i were "hung" like john holmes! (you know SOMEONE was going to make that wish!!)
    Granted, but you become so enamored with it that you never leave the house and as such never get to "share" it with anyone...

    I wish I could have said something funnier there...
    03-08-11 01:42 PM
  24. highjakker's Avatar
    granted:
    you have an appendage the size of john holmes' but everytime it becomes, um, "engorged", the loss of blood makes you pass out until it becomes flaccid again which begins the moment you lose consciousness.

    i wish i had the body of a male underwear model.
    03-08-11 04:31 PM
  25. middbrew's Avatar
    Granted.


    I wish I had more time in the day to get done what I need to get done.
    03-08-11 08:39 PM
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