02-07-12 12:14 PM
2,778 ... 8283848586 ...
tools
  1. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Granted, but as soon as you have eaten it, it turns back into a live cow which you can't digest.

    I wish I was a race driver.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-28-10 12:34 PM
  2. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Granted, you now own a cab, and have nothing but Asian tourists to pick up and cart all over town. Can't speak the languages, and they take pictures constantly. The flashes often blind you, and have caused many a wreck. Now, insurance through the roof, you've been forced to sell the taxi to one of the Asians, and are now living as a troll under a bridge.

    I wish Sandy had his old job back, I need a nap.




    WAPers do it With A Passion
    If everyone spoke Wulfanese, they wouldn't need to click here for a translation.


    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-28-10 12:42 PM
  3. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Granted but the stereotype you have just set up for a joke for runs thru your head the entire time you try napping.

    I wish for the uncorruptable wish.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-28-10 12:46 PM
  4. LazyStarGazer's Avatar
    Not granted. In fact, the genie bish slaps you for trying to break the rules, and tells you to go back and read the first post.

    I wish it was summer.
    02-28-10 04:43 PM
  5. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Granted: your new maid is Summer, but you eventually find out "she" has some extra equipment "she" wants to try with you.

    I wish I could always find my socks...

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-28-10 05:49 PM
  6. paddygirl16's Avatar
    Granted.. But you only find one of the pair and every sock you own has a hole in the big toe.

    I wish I didn't have to work this week.
    02-28-10 06:34 PM
  7. LazyStarGazer's Avatar
    Granted, but you will find yourself locked in a basement utility room for 5 days, with nothing to survive on except old dirty mop water.

    I wish I never had to work again.
    02-28-10 06:59 PM
  8. paddygirl16's Avatar
    Granted, but you will turn into a fat lazy slob and have bed sores all over and your only thing you will have to look forward to is Judge Judy and the Price is Right.

    I wish I could wear 3 inch heels without feeling that my feet are going to fall off or I am going to tip over.
    02-28-10 07:05 PM
  9. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Granted. You now have a set of 3" heel gloves and walk on your hands. Your head is constantly beat red, and you have a throbbing headache. Blessed are you that your feet are never sore, and tender as a babies booty.



    I wish I could stand outside all night, and howl at the moon.
    02-28-10 07:37 PM
  10. paddygirl16's Avatar
    Granted. However, a large cloud covers the moon and you are standing out there with the front door locked and it is freezing. You forgot to eat something and you are very scared because it is dark and you could be in the warm house watching TV. You then realize that this entire howling thing was a HUGE mistake.

    I wish my boss would give me a substantial increase in salary.
    02-28-10 07:55 PM
  11. BergerKing's Avatar
    Granted, but that green comes in the form of iceberg lettuce. You receive four truckloads a week. Your house becomes a favorite stop for every deer, rabbit, and hippie from 7 states, seeking their sustenance in the Mecca of salad. Soon tomato fights break out! And all you really want is some peace and quiet. The wildlife isn't a problem, the 2500 hippies, though, have a Wild Life. Everywhere, smelly, unshaven (in any way) hippies procreating in the bathroom, on the lawn, and even on the roof! Tambourines ring, and a thousand renditions of "Give Peace a Chance" drill into your ears, hour in and hour out. Will you ever have peace again?

    I wish paddy had a tanker of salad dressing.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-28-10 08:35 PM
  12. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Granted! The tanker pulls up, and it's full of blue cheese dressing. Suddenly winter leaves, and Al Gore gets his wish. As the sun and heat hit the dressing, an aroma the likes of which has never been smelled before. Even the hippies say the scene stinks, and desert the premises post-haste (guess that wish grant went according to plan, kinda). Paddy has to call in ex to clean up the waste matter slimming her lawn, and house.


    Will Mike be able to clean up the place, and have it smelling like shamrocks again?
    02-28-10 09:07 PM
  13. cerealberry's Avatar
    Ai, yes.. Soon paddy's place is free of the stench of dirty feet that only warm blue cheese dressing can create.. Green shamrocks sprout up everywhere, bringing the luck of the irish and thousands of leprechauns. The little imps take over the place, swigging whiskey and wreaking havoc everywhere. Their shrill little voices and uncensored libidos run amok throughout paddy's neighborhood. Not even the pet dogs are safe from the insatiable humping of the little leprechauns...

    I wish I could remove this image from my mind...

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-28-10 09:19 PM
  14. paddygirl16's Avatar
    Granted. The wee little leprechauns spike your coffee with their whiskey. Making you feel no pain. The only images that are left in your head are dancing around with the King of leprechauns and wishing he would ask your hand in marriage so you too can feel this way for eternity. However when you sober up you realize that he has a tiny ---- and not at all satisfying to you. The moral to this, is watch what you wish for.

    I wish nyquill tasted better.
    02-28-10 09:27 PM
  15. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Granted but then you drink so much of it you don't wake up for 43 years and by that time you have another cold...

    I wish they would find a cure for the common cold...

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    03-01-10 02:02 AM
  16. paddygirl16's Avatar
    Granted. But then all the drug companies and kKeenex Corporation would go out of business, leaving thousands unemployed and sleeping on the streets outside your house.

    I wish that it was the weekend already.
    03-01-10 07:39 PM
  17. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    There's no way I'm going to screw that wish up. Somebody, anybody...



    WAPers do it With A Passion
    If everyone spoke Wulfanese, they wouldn't need to click here for a translation.


    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    03-01-10 07:53 PM
  18. paddygirl16's Avatar
    There's no way I'm going to screw that wish up. Somebody, anybody...



    WAPers do it With A Passion
    If everyone spoke Wulfanese, they wouldn't need to click here for a translation.


    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    Now Wulfy, that aint how you play the game
    03-01-10 08:05 PM
  19. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    What, I can't take a pass?



    WAPers do it With A Passion
    If everyone spoke Wulfanese, they wouldn't need to click here for a translation.


    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    03-01-10 08:08 PM
  20. paddygirl16's Avatar
    What, I can't take a pass?



    WAPers do it With A Passion
    If everyone spoke Wulfanese, they wouldn't need to click here for a translation.


    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    Nope that ticks off the Genie in a big way.
    03-01-10 08:11 PM
  21. LazyStarGazer's Avatar
    Granted. But then all the drug companies and kKeenex Corporation would go out of business, leaving thousands unemployed and sleeping on the streets outside your house.

    I wish that it was the weekend already.
    Granted, it's the weekend, and you have a guest coming. Unfortunately, your guest has a cold, and can't follow instructions. Shortly after boarding a Paddy bound Greyhound, they take entirely too much Nyquil, and fall into a light coma. When your friend wakes up, he finds himself in a small town in Quebec, where no one speaks English. Every time he asks for help, the locals feed him poutine and beer. Not having his passport, it takes him the better part of a week to get back across the border.

    I wish I could read peoples minds.
    03-01-10 08:15 PM
  22. paddygirl16's Avatar
    Granted. However, you find out that you were never your parents favorite, and that your co-workers want to take your job, and think you are numb nut. You have been walking around smelling for years and finally you hear people think it, but were to chicken to tell you. The worst of it all, that you see two Nuns in the grocery check out line and you read the minds of one of them as they check out the grocery bag boy and she says "mmmmm this boy can bag me anytime".

    I wish that all cell service was free.
    03-01-10 08:22 PM
  23. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Granted! You're given free use of organisms on a molecular level for life. Unfortuanately they are a gaseous bacteria, and follow you everywhere. The smell is of sulfur, and all your frienda and family disown you. Left to walk the streets in scorn, your BBM buddies are the only ones capable of being "near" you anymore.


    I wish Wonderful had asked for free tacos instead.




    WAPers do it With A Passion
    If everyone spoke Wulfanese, they wouldn't need to click here for a translation.


    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    03-01-10 08:29 PM
  24. paddygirl16's Avatar
    Granted. But, then you will have taco sauce dripping down your chin. You will have to move to Mexico so u can have unlimited tacos.

    I wish that I can sleep in tomorrow.
    03-01-10 08:50 PM
  25. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Granted. You sleep in a dark damp room. Your bed is hard, and you toss and turn all night. Finally you decide this "sleep in" thing isn't what it's cracked up to be, and decide to stage a sit in instead.


    I wish I were a time traveler.





    WAPers do it With A Passion
    If everyone spoke Wulfanese, they wouldn't need to click here for a translation.


    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    03-01-10 09:15 PM
2,778 ... 8283848586 ...
LINK TO POST COPIED TO CLIPBOARD