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*poof*I wish Carol the best with her new found love.
Granted.
Carol and Phillipo realize that they can't have a relationship based on sex, so they spend some time getting to know each other and building a solid relationship. In time, they realize that their love IS deep and they still want to get married. The ceremony is beautiful and everything Carol could hope for. Married life is wonderful for Carol and Phillipo. Neither has any wants. Life is pure bliss...
Unfortunately, Wolfie starts to get jealous of what his friend has, and he decides that he's going to take Carol away from Phillipo. He plots his plan for a year, and becomes completely obsessed. When the day comes, he makes his move. Carol resists, which completely messes up Wolfie's plan. He growls and screams and begs and pleads but she won't relent. She loves Phillipo. Wolfie get's desperate and rips off Carol's clothing as well as his own and shows off his newly waxed and buffed manhood, not realizing that it's no longer important to Carol, as she has found true happiness. Carol looks at Wolfie and says she's sorry, and Wolfie realizes with horror what he's done. He slowly gathers his clothes and heads out. But word spreads, and people hear what he tried to do. TrackBall Lights falls into disrepair, and his BBM contacts disappear one by one. Wolfie realizes what he did was wrong, but it's too late to change it now... Wolfie now gets to spend the rest of his days sad and alone...
I wish Wolfie hadn't tried to take Carol from Phillipo.05-26-09 06:49 AM - Granted! After months pass, BBW finally acquires the worst case of Cabbage Crotch EVER. He smells so bad causing even buzzards and vultures to nosedive to their death.
Sadly, he finds out Carol has changed her mind (a woman's perogative 
) and decides sex is EXTREMELY important in a relationship and was forced to divorce Phillipo and move on to men Cabbage Crotch free. (On a side note...best move she ever made )
This leaves BBW in a state of despair. He decides he will no longer need to become a unich. Coming up with the next best plan he decides he will search the world for a woman with Cabbage Crotch, a woman he can love and who will love him back. He places a "Wanted Ad" worldwide in every newspaper...he even prints flyers, joins Match.com and posts on Craigs List.
Finally, after months of loneliness and depression, he sees the flashing light and the ping of his Blackberry alerting him to an incoming email. Alas! A woman has finally responded to his "Desperating Seeking A Cabbage Crotch Lover" ad. He calls her immediately. He finds it quite amazing she calls herself Kangaruex because he has always found marsupials magnificent. They talk hours upon hours, every day and every night. The conversations get steamy...how they both yearn to smell and taste each others Cabbage...errrr...you know.
.
They soon realize they have so much more in common besides cabbage crotch. It turns out, although this woman resides in a different state, they must meet. So, he packs his bags and cabbage treats, prints out his mapquest journey, jumps in his pick up and heads for the state of Virginia.
I wish I knew what BBW's journey will bring next.Last edited by Carol64; 05-26-09 at 03:53 PM.
05-26-09 03:47 PM - Fine, People!
I'll continue this story! Just remember...you've forced me to use my twisted brain!
Granted! Wolf got his fill somewhere else. The hungry, harried, and hot Wolf was in a rush to get out of this pickled peril! Traumatized, dazed, confused, hungry and thirsty he stumbles into the next restaurant he comes upon.
Wolf sits down in the bar and orders a shot of whiskey to calm his nerves....and then another....followed by another...and even another. All he wants to do it get to his Kabbage Krotched Kanga!
The bartender finally cuts him of and says "Hey Buddy,
I think you've had enough booze, you look like you could use something to eat...how about I serve you our famous dish?" Wolf replies "I'm starving, that would be wonderful!"
In a short time Wolf is served the most delicious meal! Although a bit undercooked, he delved into that dish like it was his last meal! All the bartender could hear was Wolf muttering "Mmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmm" as he chowed down!
Here is a visual aid for all our readers:
While licking his fingers and chops at the end of the meal, Wolf glanced over and picked up the brochure on the table....his eyes getting bigger and bigger as he read on:
"Welcome to The Australian Owned and Operated Kangaroo Kitchen Guesthouse Restaurant and Bar, an elegant place for a relaxing drink or meal.
The Kangaroo Kitchen staff are always prepared to serve you delicious western and Khmer delicacies from our extensive menu including our famous mouth watering Kangaroo Steaks."
I hope Wolf enjoyed eating his raw kangaroo.
I wish it doesn't take FOREVER for somebody to continue this story!
Last edited by Carol64; 05-31-09 at 01:24 AM.
05-30-09 11:50 PM - Granted! It doesn't take forever for someone to continue this story.
Wulf really, and I mean REALLY enjoyed eating his raw Kangaroo. He licked the plate clean and went back for seconds and thirds afterwards. After his first taste of Wild Kanga meat he quickly became addicted to the unique taste.
No other meat would ever do after that. He dreamed of having it every night for the rest of eternity. It was all encompassing and without it he was unable to function in the real world the same way he had prior to his taste of heaven.
He became mentally and physically ill at the thought of ever tasting anything else. Being the Wulf and having such a healthy appetite, ranchers all over the world felt the effect of him not ever consuming any of their foul tasting meat again.
The backlash was felt world wide. And pretty soon everyone else wanted to try Kangaroo meat. Wulf would not have it. He chased people away from his meat constantly. But they kept returning in droves. So he decided to build an underground bunker and take his Kanga meat with him to hide out. There he lived out the rest of his life fully satisfied at all times with his paws guarding his precious meat. And vegetarians of the world rejoiced in the fact that the cattle market just went *poof* overnight.
I wish that Wulf would never tire of consuming Kanga meat.
Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com06-12-09 12:24 AM - Granted, in spades. Wulf never tired of raw Kanga. He ate her, err it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Even a midnight snack.
They threw everything they had at that bunker. Dumb bombs, smart bombs, bunker busting bombs, A bombs, even a couple
bombs, but Wulf just kept digging in deeper.
There were geological surveys done, sonic mapping, core samples, ground penetrating radar, and a special appearance by Superman to use his X-ray vision. They could never find Wulf and Kanga, nor a way to them.
They brought in construction equipment of all shapes and sizes. There was digging, hoeing, shoveling and dumping. The more they tried, the more futile it appeared.
Finally exhausting all efforts, they implored the Genie. "Please Genie Please!" they cried, can't you screw this up as you have so many times before. The Genie gave it his best, but without access to the wisher, his grant could go untarnished.
Finally the Genie decided to grant a wish of his own. He employed the use of one of the construction workers, and made himself a dragon. It was a grand fire-breathing dragon. Given the instructions for a mission the likes of which Jim Phelps had never accomplished, he was on his way. Once realizing there was no way possible to achieve his goal, the dragon went crazed from determination. Of course the Genie had granted his own wish, so you can only guess what happened next:
I wish the Genie would come back to life, I have another mission for Zombie Jef.06-14-09 06:51 PM - Granted! Fresh from the shock of cereal's defibrillator, and embarrassed from the shrunken state of affairs in his loin cloth (30" of snow people, it happens) the genie now warmed goes off in search of his next victim, errrrr wisher.
He came upon da Bear, desperate for honey, since his newly adopted parents refused him (how he thought he could get away with using his brother's head as a toilet brush, we may never know). Bear requested a hive of homey bees the likes of which had never been seen. The genie, ear drums still slightly numb from the snow, heard honey please, and set about constructing the longest homey-do list in recorded history. Bear, stricken with the grant, was compelled to wash the car, fix the porch, paint the house, finish his scrap book, repair the car on blocks in the back yard, bake cookies for nuns, dig out the northeastern US, be the designated driver for a bachelor party, hold a conference on world peace, and of course solve global warming.
I wish da Bear would find the end of the list (eh, not really). Stay tuned, hold your breath, and we just may find out.
WAPers do it With A Passion
If everyone spoke Wulfanese�, they wouldn't need to click here for a translation.
Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com02-28-10 12:37 AM
