02-07-12 12:14 PM
2,778 ... 8182838485 ...
  1. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Awe, poor poor Carol!
    05-25-09 09:32 AM
  2. Blkbear's Avatar
    Sniff sniff, sniffity sniff sniff... er what's that smell?
    05-26-09 04:38 AM
  3. JustPlainJef's Avatar
    I wish Carol the best with her new found love.


    Carol and Phillipo realize that they can't have a relationship based on sex, so they spend some time getting to know each other and building a solid relationship. In time, they realize that their love IS deep and they still want to get married. The ceremony is beautiful and everything Carol could hope for. Married life is wonderful for Carol and Phillipo. Neither has any wants. Life is pure bliss...

    Unfortunately, Wolfie starts to get jealous of what his friend has, and he decides that he's going to take Carol away from Phillipo. He plots his plan for a year, and becomes completely obsessed. When the day comes, he makes his move. Carol resists, which completely messes up Wolfie's plan. He growls and screams and begs and pleads but she won't relent. She loves Phillipo. Wolfie get's desperate and rips off Carol's clothing as well as his own and shows off his newly waxed and buffed manhood, not realizing that it's no longer important to Carol, as she has found true happiness. Carol looks at Wolfie and says she's sorry, and Wolfie realizes with horror what he's done. He slowly gathers his clothes and heads out. But word spreads, and people hear what he tried to do. TrackBall Lights falls into disrepair, and his BBM contacts disappear one by one. Wolfie realizes what he did was wrong, but it's too late to change it now... Wolfie now gets to spend the rest of his days sad and alone...

    I wish Wolfie hadn't tried to take Carol from Phillipo.
    05-26-09 06:49 AM
  4. cerealberry's Avatar
    Granted... Yet, BBW still can't get the "taste of carol out of his mouth"... He yearns desperately for her. His loins ache for her..
    It is during all that loin aching, he realizes what he must do.. BECOME A UNICH!! He rushes to jdoc's clinic and begs for the surgery. Jdoc agrees, but informs wolf, that because it is not medically necessary, and purely elective, wolf's insurance won't cover the cost.. Being the cheapskate, wolf is.. He uses his cleaver mind and decides to catch cabbage crotch, thereby forcing jdoc to remove his manhood and win over the affections of carol. He begins his kraut only diet... Slaw for breakfast. Cabbage rolls for lunch, brussle sprout snacks.... For months, he survives on only cabbage. Each morning, wolf wakes up, peaks under the covers and eagerly awaits the tell-tale sign of cabbage crotch.. He sniffs and sniffs and NOTHING.

    I hope that wolf finally catches kraut krotch.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-26-09 07:59 AM
  5. JustPlainJef's Avatar

    I hope this is the worst case of crotch rot ever!
    05-26-09 08:53 AM
  6. -FeistyCJ-'s Avatar
    Granted! After months pass, BBW finally acquires the worst case of Cabbage Crotch EVER. He smells so bad causing even buzzards and vultures to nosedive to their death.

    Sadly, he finds out Carol has changed her mind (a woman's perogative ) and decides sex is EXTREMELY important in a relationship and was forced to divorce Phillipo and move on to men Cabbage Crotch free. (On a side note...best move she ever made )

    This leaves BBW in a state of despair. He decides he will no longer need to become a unich. Coming up with the next best plan he decides he will search the world for a woman with Cabbage Crotch, a woman he can love and who will love him back. He places a "Wanted Ad" worldwide in every newspaper...he even prints flyers, joins Match.com and posts on Craigs List.

    Finally, after months of loneliness and depression, he sees the flashing light and the ping of his Blackberry alerting him to an incoming email. Alas! A woman has finally responded to his "Desperating Seeking A Cabbage Crotch Lover" ad. He calls her immediately. He finds it quite amazing she calls herself Kangaruex because he has always found marsupials magnificent. They talk hours upon hours, every day and every night. The conversations get steamy...how they both yearn to smell and taste each others Cabbage...errrr...you know. .

    They soon realize they have so much more in common besides cabbage crotch. It turns out, although this woman resides in a different state, they must meet. So, he packs his bags and cabbage treats, prints out his mapquest journey, jumps in his pick up and heads for the state of Virginia.

    I wish I knew what BBW's journey will bring next.
    Last edited by Carol64; 05-26-09 at 03:53 PM.
    05-26-09 03:47 PM
  7. BergerKing's Avatar
    Granted, the Cabbagely Corroded Carnivore finds himself travelling north, stopping in Savannah, Georgia, for a bite to eat, and to take a few minutes to enjoy the beauty of this lovely city.

    But he chose the wrong place, on the absolute worst day possible. A parade has begun near where the restaurant is located. He begins to see disturbing sights. Why are so many of these folk dressed up in Village People getups, and is that an entire armada of Cher lookalikes?

    Horrified, he backs away, but is intrigued by the growling roar of, Harleys? He pauses, waiting to see the bikes, and as they 'round the corner, he sees over a hundred leprechauns on gleaming hogs. It's the Lucky Charms Irish Biker's Brigade! And because they were hungover from last eve's debauchery, they skipped breakfast!

    Approaching, the tantalizing aroma of tainted leaf launches a furious feeding frenzy!! All eyes lock upon the Wolfman, and as one they alternately chant "Corned Beef!" "Cab-bage!!", and engines rev in rising crescendo!

    Wolf panics, wheels and dives into the truck, desperately revving that big V-8, but is he too late??

    Laying two long lines of rubber, he screams at the crowds, move, move, move, as the howling bikes hound him. Relentlessly he pushes through, narrowly avoiding a Diving Dorothy and her little dog too! The wicked witch hisses and screeches like his tortured tires, and Rodney Queen screeches "Can't we all just get a LONG!"

    Wolf is hungry, harried, and hot, but he wants to reached his Pouched Princess most ricky-tick. Will he be able to pull out of his pickled peril?

    I wish Wolf had gotten his fill somewhere else!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-27-09 06:04 AM
  8. Username0223's Avatar
    Holy crap carol-you love life with Phillipo took a dive quick eh??? LMAO and Wolfs sequel to it---sheesh...you guys are relentless!! I'm gonna have to jump in and post again soon

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-27-09 10:17 AM
  9. -FeistyCJ-'s Avatar
    Fine, People! I'll continue this story! Just remember...you've forced me to use my twisted brain!

    I wish Wolf had gotten his fill somewhere else!
    Granted! Wolf got his fill somewhere else. The hungry, harried, and hot Wolf was in a rush to get out of this pickled peril! Traumatized, dazed, confused, hungry and thirsty he stumbles into the next restaurant he comes upon.

    Wolf sits down in the bar and orders a shot of whiskey to calm his nerves....and then another....followed by another...and even another. All he wants to do it get to his Kabbage Krotched Kanga!

    The bartender finally cuts him of and says "Hey Buddy, I think you've had enough booze, you look like you could use something to eat...how about I serve you our famous dish?" Wolf replies "I'm starving, that would be wonderful!"

    In a short time Wolf is served the most delicious meal! Although a bit undercooked, he delved into that dish like it was his last meal! All the bartender could hear was Wolf muttering "Mmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmm" as he chowed down!

    Here is a visual aid for all our readers:

    While licking his fingers and chops at the end of the meal, Wolf glanced over and picked up the brochure on the table....his eyes getting bigger and bigger as he read on:

    "Welcome to The Australian Owned and Operated Kangaroo Kitchen Guesthouse Restaurant and Bar, an elegant place for a relaxing drink or meal.

    The Kangaroo Kitchen staff are always prepared to serve you delicious western and Khmer delicacies from our extensive menu including our famous mouth watering Kangaroo Steaks."

    I hope Wolf enjoyed eating his raw kangaroo.

    I wish it doesn't take FOREVER for somebody to continue this story!
    Last edited by Carol64; 05-31-09 at 01:24 AM.
    05-30-09 11:50 PM
  10. RavenMaverick's Avatar
    Granted! It doesn't take forever for someone to continue this story.

    Wulf really, and I mean REALLY enjoyed eating his raw Kangaroo. He licked the plate clean and went back for seconds and thirds afterwards. After his first taste of Wild Kanga meat he quickly became addicted to the unique taste.

    No other meat would ever do after that. He dreamed of having it every night for the rest of eternity. It was all encompassing and without it he was unable to function in the real world the same way he had prior to his taste of heaven.

    He became mentally and physically ill at the thought of ever tasting anything else. Being the Wulf and having such a healthy appetite, ranchers all over the world felt the effect of him not ever consuming any of their foul tasting meat again.

    The backlash was felt world wide. And pretty soon everyone else wanted to try Kangaroo meat. Wulf would not have it. He chased people away from his meat constantly. But they kept returning in droves. So he decided to build an underground bunker and take his Kanga meat with him to hide out. There he lived out the rest of his life fully satisfied at all times with his paws guarding his precious meat. And vegetarians of the world rejoiced in the fact that the cattle market just went *poof* overnight.

    I wish that Wulf would never tire of consuming Kanga meat.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    06-12-09 12:24 AM
  11. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    That wish is already fulfilled! Is it any wonder why I love my Magnificent Marsupial? Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooowwwwwwwww!
    06-12-09 04:10 AM
  12. -FeistyCJ-'s Avatar
    I wish somebody get the hose.
    06-12-09 05:14 PM
  13. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Hmmmmmm, a hose. Hadn't thought of that! Hmmhmmhmmhmmhmm

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    06-12-09 05:29 PM
  14. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Granted, in spades. Wulf never tired of raw Kanga. He ate her, err it for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Even a midnight snack.

    They threw everything they had at that bunker. Dumb bombs, smart bombs, bunker busting bombs, A bombs, even a couple bombs, but Wulf just kept digging in deeper.

    There were geological surveys done, sonic mapping, core samples, ground penetrating radar, and a special appearance by Superman to use his X-ray vision. They could never find Wulf and Kanga, nor a way to them.

    They brought in construction equipment of all shapes and sizes. There was digging, hoeing, shoveling and dumping. The more they tried, the more futile it appeared.

    Finally exhausting all efforts, they implored the Genie. "Please Genie Please!" they cried, can't you screw this up as you have so many times before. The Genie gave it his best, but without access to the wisher, his grant could go untarnished.

    Finally the Genie decided to grant a wish of his own. He employed the use of one of the construction workers, and made himself a dragon. It was a grand fire-breathing dragon. Given the instructions for a mission the likes of which Jim Phelps had never accomplished, he was on his way. Once realizing there was no way possible to achieve his goal, the dragon went crazed from determination. Of course the Genie had granted his own wish, so you can only guess what happened next:

    I wish the Genie would come back to life, I have another mission for Zombie Jef.
    06-14-09 06:51 PM
  15. cerealberry's Avatar
    Granted... After months in what all assumed was the death of genie.. He blinked his eyes and "poof" awoke from the coma he had layed in since summer.. Now covered with 30" of snow, in only his genie loin cloth.. Poor genie staggered for shelter and warmth..

    I hope that my cpr has saved the genie and this thread...

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-27-10 10:30 PM
  16. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Granted! Fresh from the shock of cereal's defibrillator, and embarrassed from the shrunken state of affairs in his loin cloth (30" of snow people, it happens) the genie now warmed goes off in search of his next victim, errrrr wisher.

    He came upon da Bear, desperate for honey, since his newly adopted parents refused him (how he thought he could get away with using his brother's head as a toilet brush, we may never know). Bear requested a hive of homey bees the likes of which had never been seen. The genie, ear drums still slightly numb from the snow, heard honey please, and set about constructing the longest homey-do list in recorded history. Bear, stricken with the grant, was compelled to wash the car, fix the porch, paint the house, finish his scrap book, repair the car on blocks in the back yard, bake cookies for nuns, dig out the northeastern US, be the designated driver for a bachelor party, hold a conference on world peace, and of course solve global warming.

    I wish da Bear would find the end of the list (eh, not really ). Stay tuned, hold your breath, and we just may find out.

    WAPers do it With A Passion
    If everyone spoke Wulfanese, they wouldn't need to click here for a translation.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-28-10 12:37 AM
  17. cerealberry's Avatar
    While cleaning the last of the left over dog ****, now uncovered due to the warm sun melting the piles of snow.. Bear looks down and realizes.. He is a polar bear.. Otherwise known as the caucasian bear and therefore he is no one's "homey" and decides the dreaded, never ending homey-do list must be for another brother. . He quickly puts down his industrial pooper scooper and heads off in search for a new genie without a speech impediment!

    I wish someone would clean-up the piles in my back yard.. I hate the first thaw!!!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-28-10 07:56 AM
  18. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Granted: industrious but mischievous neighborhood kids collect it all up, but every morning they ring your dOrbell and have a nice flaming bag full of it on your porch when you get to the door.

    I wish I had a yacht.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-28-10 08:33 AM
  19. LazyStarGazer's Avatar
    Granted. You have the largest, most luxurious yacht in the world.
    Unfortunately, the crew is made up of burly ex-cons, so your 'maiden' voyage will be memorable. But probably not something you want to scrapbook.

    I wish I had a magic wallet that always had money in it.
    02-28-10 09:36 AM
  20. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Granted but the government steals it to pay for all their ridiculous programs and you're left a pauper. If you try for it back, they label you a traitor.

    I wish I owned the universe.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-28-10 10:07 AM
  21. oscars.dad1's Avatar
    Granted, you own the universe but evry one in the universe jumps on a space ship,
    Flies to a new universe and you are left with a crumbling mess ti look after!

    I wish I was good at everything I done!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-28-10 10:23 AM
  22. LazyStarGazer's Avatar
    Granted but the government steals it to pay for all their ridiculous programs and you're left a pauper. If you try for it back, they label you a traitor.

    I wish I owned the universe.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    Granted, but you are responsible for infinite causal possibillities created by all life forms, management of the time space continuum, pico second sub-atomic molecular motion, trillion year galactic motion, Decadillion year Entropy, etc etc. Ad infinitumm. All this must be done at the same time (relativly speaking).

    Your brain is fried instantly.

    I wish I had a maid.
    02-28-10 10:24 AM
  23. cerealberry's Avatar
    Granted.. You have a maid.. His name is oscar.dad 1. Donned in his cute french maid uniform and feather duster.. Unfortunately, his wish was never granted therefore, like everything else he has done in his life, thus far,,, he is a failure of a maid.. Making more of a mess than what was there before.. Between the vacuum bag exploding all over and the red sock in the laundry with your favorite white shirt.. Oscar.dad 1 is doomed to be your pathetic maid for the rest of his days.

    I wish someone would fix my puter so I can play once again.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-28-10 11:08 AM
  24. oscars.dad1's Avatar
    Granted....puter fixed but graphics all but removed...the best you play is pong!

    I wish I wasn't LazyStarGazers maid!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-28-10 11:26 AM
  25. LazyStarGazer's Avatar
    Granted....puter fixed but graphics all but removed...the best you play is pong!

    I wish I wasn't LazyStarGazers maid!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    *LOL, I was going to post pong as well!*

    Wish granted. You are now cerealberry's maid. Did I mention that she's a neat freak with tourettes and a very shrill voice?

    I wish I had a hamburger.
    02-28-10 11:33 AM
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