02-07-12 12:14 PM
2,778 ... 7879808182 ...
  1. RavenMaverick's Avatar
    LMAO Carol! Granted! The memory and the date are caught on video and is currently available to view and download.

    Word soon spreads far and wide about how wonderful Jdocs hands are, how very gentle he was when handling the "extras" of the patient in the video.

    He is booked on The Today Show, Jerry Springer, and Maury Povich! But best of all he is FEATURED in the AMA as the Who's Who in reassignment surgery.

    This wasn't quite the career choice he had in mind, but what are you going to do. He figures it will pass and no one will ever remember it.

    But when he goes to open his office Monday morning there is a line of people wrapped around 3 city blocks. There are he/shes and she/hes and inbetweens, dressed to the nines with boas and biker boots waiting with bated breath for Jdoc the miracle worker to arrive!

    They cheer for him and shower him with tons of Mardi Gras beads. He spends the next 5 years working his magic on his clientale. When he is ready to retire and work for someone else part time, the only place hiring and needing all of his extra skills is Barnum and Bailey.

    So Jdoc is spending his twilight years traveling with the carnies and doing the carnies bidding. How did it all come to this.

    I wish Jdoc would make sure there are no hidden cameras the next time he want to remove a wang dangle. LOL!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-15-09 01:37 PM
  2. jdoc77's Avatar
    The music to the "Crying Game" plays as the Banhammer begins to fall on the Genie thread....

    *poof* ... no more cameras. For the love of god, buddah, zarathustra, zoroaster and freaking ron hubbard... no more cameras!

    Except one... it's called a colonoscope. Carol knows all too well what to do with it. In fact, if handling rectal tools was measured the way that posts on crackberry are, she would be known as a bunghole genius of geniuses.

    And as she is handling this camera, call it an anomally.. call it a twist of fate, maybe an earthquake, or a hurricaine... ****, somehow the 500 pound patient moved... dramatically! (Crack kills)

    Nobody had a camera to catch what actually happened, but it is roughly depicted in the following photo.. Carol is the smaller dog..

    Berkerking said the difference between a kiss *** and a brown noser was measured by distance...

    I wish that washes off!
    Last edited by jdoc77; 05-15-09 at 01:57 PM.
    05-15-09 01:55 PM
  3. BergerKing's Avatar
    Ah, that would a depth I'd rather not perceive! Besides, Carol isn't the only one familiar with the scope, and I was on the receiving... .end.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-15-09 02:12 PM
  4. -FeistyCJ-'s Avatar
    I wish that washes off!
    Ohhhhhhhhh Noooooooo, JDoc...you did NOT!!!

    Granted! It washes off quite nicely after a trip for a facial, a teeth cleaning, the hair salon and a hot shower with as much antibacterial soap my face can handle....but NOT BEFORE I give you the steamiest, longest, hottest, wettest kiss I could possibly lay upon your Dr. McDreamy mouth. Yummy, eh?

    I wish JDoc would come out of the trance from the passionate kiss I just bestowed upon him.
    Last edited by Carol64; 05-15-09 at 06:43 PM.
    05-15-09 04:16 PM
  5. -FeistyCJ-'s Avatar
    Ah, that would a depth I'd rather not perceive! Besides, Carol isn't the only one familiar with the scope, and I was on the receiving... .end.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    Like I always say BK...Just another pretty "face" in the crowd!
    05-15-09 04:19 PM
  6. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Granted, jdoc comes out of his trance. Stinking to high heaven, and despising you Carol, for putting a bad taste for love in his mouth.
    Forced to be cleaned by a full compliment of Hazmet experts:

    the makers of Scope:

    and sporting a new outfit made of those little trees you hang from your rearview mirror:

    Jdoc is now living his life as the world's most undesirable man. Shame, before you came along Carol, he had to beat women off with a stick. His skin slowly healing from the pounding experience of the pressure washing, chemical bath, and defumigation, and drinking Scope like a homeless alcoholic, he now lives his life as a recluse. No woman will want him, and no man will befriend him. Hospitals will not allow him to enter, so jdoc's carrier as a burgeoning medic is put on hold. Now having to find the most auspicious of work he can obtain. He wiles his days away, stirring compost at the local dude ranch. Poor guy can't even attract sheep. Will jdoc's carrier ever get back on track? Will he regain his Playboy image? Will he once again be followed by his sheeple? Will he ever feel the desire to love again? Will I stop asking questions and get to making a wish? Why yes, yes I will:

    I wish that Carol had kissed a horse's a$$ instead, and left jdoc alone. He didn't need her crap anyway.
    05-16-09 05:25 AM
  7. -FeistyCJ-'s Avatar
    Your wish is granted. I kissed a horses a$$ instead of giving JDoc any of my crap. His life is back on track....He now has his playboy image back, he has the desire to love again and he has to beat gorgeous women off with a stick. Unfortunately, for me, it is I who has to live the life of a recluse.

    I really wish I didn't make that stupid mistake.
    Last edited by Carol64; 05-16-09 at 09:27 AM.
    05-16-09 09:20 AM
  8. ginya-san's Avatar
    Ok looks like we need another wish . . . I wish that I had a fully mod'd and tuned sti.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-16-09 09:28 AM
  9. ginya-san's Avatar
    Okk sorry for the double post my I wasn't on the right page. Carol you wish is granted but your now in a tagent universe that'll collapse upon it's self.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-16-09 09:38 AM
  10. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Welcome back Ginya!
    Granted you now have a fully modified and tuned STD. Infact your STD has STD's, that's how modded it is. It's going to take everything jdoc and Carol know to cure you of this STD. Mere penicillin is not enough to do anything but get it to crack a smile. You've got parts of you turning green, and others have already fallen off. Now in the Mayo Clinic, your STD is becoming legendary. Papers have been written, CAT scans run. Doctors from all over the nation have flown in just to lear in stunned amazement! Every treatment applied does nothing but feed the beast, as it expands and consumes your body. So well tuned it is, it's ordering it's own lunch from the menu. Sadly there is no cure, and you become a mass to behold!
    I wish Ginya had gotten a little more creative, but I fixed her wagon anyway.
    05-16-09 09:50 AM
  11. cerealberry's Avatar
    Granted.. Ginya does get more creative.. In fact her creativity flows to such dramatic heights that speilberg and lucas beg ginya to adapt all her genie threads into one sick, twisted science fiction horror flick, which wins prizes at international film fests..

    I wish I was as creative as ginya.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-16-09 12:48 PM
  12. BergerKing's Avatar
    Poof!, your wish is granted, and your media is mayonnaise. You create world-reknowned mayo sculptures at State Fairs, shopping malls, and, as a guest at the White House.

    But, one day, your U-Haul is destroyed in a collision with a fish truck. The ensuing mess is seen by a passing convoy of buses, filled to the brim with Weight Watchers conventioneers.

    In the ensuing melee, your entire medium is demolished, the conventioneers get food poisoning, the lawyers are flocking out to get you, a group of zombie media types have installed hidden cameras in your bathroom, and America's Funniest Home Videos has compiled a week long series of clips. Maybe a little too much chili, jalapeos, and, hummus? Lighting was too low to define actual composition, but the creativity certainly "flowed".

    And why did you paint your house 62 shades of green?

    Makes me wish for a case of pepto-bismol.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-16-09 02:36 PM
  13. cerealberry's Avatar
    Your wish is granted... Being the contestant on "price is right" wearing your "l <3 drew" T-shirt, you guess that the case of pepto Bessie is $32.94.. Which is the lowest bid of the 4 contestants... Not only do you win the case of pep to, but you go on to play the yodel game and win a plush orange chenille rocker and matching love seat along with a Nichols recliner and 27" console tv/HIV combo. In your excitement you leap into drew cary's arms and embrace.. Suddenly, you both feel that pang of desire that only two grown men can truly understand (not that there is anything wrong with it).... Drew and you become inseperatable and your love for one another is insatiable.

    I wish I had a copy of the "king gone wild" video

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-16-09 03:36 PM
  14. cerealberry's Avatar
    I also wish my spell checker worked better!! Hee hee

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-16-09 03:37 PM
  15. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    I was about halfway through with my own grant, but to see the way this is finally rolling again, does my heart so much good! WooHoo after 2 other attempts, the Genie Game is back, and better than ever! (well we'll give it a few weeks to determine the validity of the previous comment)
    05-16-09 03:40 PM
  16. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    As viewed here:
    Transbuddha Archive King Gone Wild!

    Granted, you have your copy, and you're living it too. Cereal, you are now a participant in all of the wild exploits. It's you and the giant freaky plasticman with the crown, traveling the world together. You've been to the NBA playoffs, where BK has dunked on you. Road shotgun at the start of a NASCAR race, discovering just how little they test plasticmen before handing them licenses. Had romantic walks on the beach, fed goats and shared onion rings. You find yourself in charge of his itinerary, a schedule that is daunting. You plan his meals, start his shower, and even on occasion brush his teeth. Holding hands at baseball games, as he throws out the first pitch. And giving him a massage when his day is through. The intimacy is outstanding, as his giant plastic keeps you satisfied. But you know down deep in your heart, it isn't meant to last. He is after all fake, through and through. And you being real could never be happy with that.
    I wish that I could teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony.
    05-16-09 03:58 PM
  17. BergerKing's Avatar
    Granted, in achieving this remarkable feat, the combined harmony of Terra Firma now has the harmony of the William Hung choir' the pitch of Rosanne Barr, and the triumphant delivery of Ethel Merman after a Red Bull bender.

    Windows shatter worldwide, Hong Kong collapses, doing about 5 billion in improvements, New York takes a vow and Simon Cowell replaces the Dalai Lama as the prince of peace. The media swings wildly conservative, and Algore gives out free Suburbans to homeless people, solving 2 problems simultaneously. All is right with the world for 17.2 milliseconds, until the sun goes supernova.

    Now I wish we had some melody.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-16-09 04:11 PM
  18. RavenMaverick's Avatar
    Granted! We do have melody! The whole world woke up this morning humming and singing the only melody all of man kind knows by heart!

    "It' A Small World After All"

    You go out to get the paper and the melody is almost electric in the air. So many people all osver the world are humming and singing this song that you can feel the vibrations in your chest!

    You rejoice in the beauty of it for about 15 minutes. Then you realize that this is one of the most irritating songs that has ever graced G_ds green earth. You go shower. You hear it there. You hear it while dressing and find yourself unable to stop singing it in your head.

    You get in your car, turn it on and that song is blaring on EVERY radio station you can pick up!

    Your cell phone rings and WTF? Your ringtone is the same dam* song! It isn't funny anymore. When you stop at the next intersection, the traffic coip is playing the song on his whistle.

    Starbucks has it on the loudspeakers. Wal-mart is playing it. You ring the doorbell to pick up your coworker and the dam* doorbell is playing it.

    By the end of the day you are in the fetal positions sucking your thumb, rocking back and forth to the beat of "It' a small world".

    I wish BK would learn to love that song!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-16-09 04:59 PM
  19. cerealberry's Avatar
    Bk does learn to love "its a small world"..after all, how could one not? He adores it so much that he applies at disney to work on the small world ride.. He is so enamored with the song that he even complies with disney's strict rules and shaves his scary beard just to be part of the ride... Every day, bk happily skips to work humming his favorite tune.. He eagerly asks little brats to please keep their hands and legs inside the moving vehicle at all times, he patiently helps little old ladies out of their rascals and into the floating gondolas.. Until one day, disney collaborates with Mcdonalds on a huge park promotion. Well, they can't have bk working at Mcdisney, just would look right.. The big red head clown wants to run its a small world.. So bk finds himself. Jobless and beardless.. He becomes so depressed that he begins to drink heavily, even his old restaurant chain won't take him back.. So bk spends the next 5 years in a refrigerator box, under a bridge, drinking boones farm and humming his favorite song.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-17-09 08:50 AM
  20. cerealberry's Avatar
    I wish I had a nickle for every tv icon who went the way of bk!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-17-09 10:24 AM
  21. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Granted, most every TV icon eventually does go the way of the Burger King. But your wish was for a nickle for every one. You've got your nickles cereal, only they're wooden nickles. You're pockets are full of them, yet no one will take one. They give you splinters a plenty, and clog up every vending machine in town as you try to spend the quid. Eventually you give in to the problem, and have a massive bonfire. We all gather to watch in amazement, when Starsky and Hutch show up to arrest us. We all of course sell you out, claiming we all came running to put it out. You end up with a 3 day stint in jail, and a $500 fine for an illegal burn, which come to find out could have been paid in wooden nickles (blasted government, they'll take anything these days).
    I wish there was a way to have my cake and eat it too.
    05-17-09 12:06 PM
  22. -FeistyCJ-'s Avatar
    I wish there was a way to have my cake and eat it too.
    Granted! Good thing I kissed that horse's a$$ because I was able to collect the ingredients to make you this yummy horse poo cake!

    Now you CAN have your cake and EAT it too!

    I wish that BBW has a strong stomach
    Last edited by Carol64; 05-17-09 at 06:25 PM.
    05-17-09 05:52 PM
  23. Adrienne1214's Avatar
    BBW does but instead BBW mashed up the ingredients and well remember how BBW brought you brownies and you enjoyed them so much...

    I wish that work was more fun

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-18-09 12:47 AM
  24. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Granted but instead of your employer paying you, you are forced to pay admission to get in. Additionally, everyone in town finds out how much fun it is, and now you not only have to pay admission, but also wait in the longest lines you can imagine to even get in.

    I wish when people thought about me, it would be the best moment of their day...

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-18-09 01:39 AM
  25. Blkbear's Avatar
    Granted, and when people think about you, their thoughts (mostly dark and hurtful) come true. Daily you are hit by buses, mugged by thuds and little old ladies, chased by dogs and sought after by loan sharks, jealous boyfriends and husbands, and all because when someone thinks of you, in their minds eye, you getting punished, hurt and nearly killed, makes them smile.

    I wish my home phone's battery lasted longer than 20 mins.
    05-18-09 02:43 AM
2,778 ... 7879808182 ...