02-07-12 12:14 PM
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  1. Username0223's Avatar
    Jef I was rofl'ing with that one for sure!!! Well Wolf you wanted to be the ruler!!!!! LOL

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-14-09 09:01 AM
  2. Username0223's Avatar
    Wolf granted--you are now the ruler of the pouch but as time goes on you get sick and tired of everyone abusing your pouch, as it has turned blue in its weariness and you beg Kanga to come back and be ruler of the pouch once again so that you may be happy just pimpin the pouch in the good ole'days.......

    I hope Wolfs "blueness" from the pouch goes away soon, I can't stand to see him sad.......

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-14-09 09:06 AM
  3. JustPlainJef's Avatar
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA

    Wolfie didn't like me taking the easy way out... I liked it!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-14-09 09:07 AM
  4. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Ok so this is a simple and entertaining game...The first person makes a wish, and the next person grants it, but with a flaw.For Example:Person A: I wish I had some cake.Person B: Wish granted, but the cake is poisoned and you die. Person B then makes a wish and it goes on from there.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-14-09 09:12 AM
  5. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Jef, we take our Genie Game seriously around here. It's been mucked up enough. Follow the rules, or GTFO!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-14-09 09:15 AM
  6. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Thanks Pink, I wish this were the last time it needed to be saved!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-14-09 09:18 AM
  7. JustPlainJef's Avatar
    Well u just posed without granting or making a wish, so maybe you should GTFO!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-14-09 09:18 AM
  8. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    I wish Jef would go himself. Grant that Jef!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-14-09 09:21 AM
  9. Username0223's Avatar
    Now boys!!!! Separate corners and let get back OT!!! thank you!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-14-09 09:23 AM
  10. JustPlainJef's Avatar
    Wish granted BBW, but I find that I thoroughly enjoy it and have no further need for my wife. She finds out what happened and hunts you down and removes your manhood with a chainsaw...

    I wish Wolfie to be turned back to his original crotchety self... Although it would be nice to rap BS across the knuckles with BBW.....

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-14-09 09:27 AM
  11. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Yes mame Pink! Can't help it, he's ing me!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-14-09 09:29 AM
  12. JustPlainJef's Avatar
    I wish Wolfie to be turned back to his original crotchety self... Although it would be nice to rap BS across the knuckles with BBW.....
    Yes mame Pink! Can't help it, he's ing me!
    Well, apparently my wish was granted. YAY!

    05-14-09 10:08 AM
  13. RavenMaverick's Avatar
    Granted! Wolf goes back to being his old crotchety self. He rants and raves about everything. His temper is no longer under his control. In order to keep the general population safe, he needs a "whipping boy" to take his aggression out on.

    Unfortunately when he went back to his old self you were the person he blamed for bringing him back to the miserable and lonely darkside. So you are forcibly retained to be flogged every quarter hour until your skin starts to slide off the bone.

    The wrath he dishes out upon you and every child you bear there after is almost more than you can survive. You are put naked and weeping into town square to be an example that Wolf the Keeper is back and he is pied!

    The children come to mock you. And Goliath comes to "own" you. The regret you feel for turning Wolf can not be measured.

    I wish Jef would have let Wolf remain a good, nice person.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-14-09 10:10 AM
  14. JustPlainJef's Avatar
    Granted, but we all know that Wolf was a violent but fair ruler. With Wolf out of the picture, BS and his band of goons come to take over our peaceful village... Men are forced to fight for his amusement, and women are forced to do things that I can't express on a public forum, even with euphemisms... Then, one day, the people decide to lead a revolt against their new corrupt ruler... We gather at dawn, as we all know Fata$$ likes to sleep late, and we arm our selves with javelins... We storm the castle, but find Fata$$ still up from the night before, and eating pie whilest stealing the honor from Amber... Upset that we would turn on him, he turns around and lets go a mighty wind, which causes all of our skin to melt and all of our eyes to burst in our skulls. Tired, Fata$$ heads to bed, leaving all of us to rot in the sun and be feasted upon by the vultures......


    I wish for $1 from every forum member.
    05-14-09 10:18 AM
  15. RavenMaverick's Avatar
    Granted! You get $1.00 from every forum member here. Sadly the week before everyone was supposed to pay up several disasters struck.

    First came the tsunami, followed by earthquakes, tornados, hurricanes, fires, floods, and famines. Oh, and let us not forget the H1N1 pandemic that swept through each continent like herpes through a wh0re house.

    The only person left standing is you and you alone. And since your wish was granted to get $1.00 from each forum member, you now owe yourself $1.00. Which by my calculations would mean that you are more broke now than you were a week ago.

    I wish Jef wasn't so money hungry! LOL!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-14-09 11:22 AM
  16. JustPlainJef's Avatar
    Granted. Jef gives up his quest for money and starts looking for stability for his family. He keeps his job, which pays well but not great, and he keeps things the status quo. Unfortunately, in his quest for money, he was going to become a great inventor and give the world some of the greatest inventions of the 21st century... But no more...


    I wish that Kanga is on a family plan, so I can call her on the way home from work, and we can talk for an hour, and we can both stick it to T*Mobile, even though T*Mo is pretty fair from what I see. But free minutes are free minutes...
    05-14-09 12:08 PM
  17. -FeistyCJ-'s Avatar
    Granted! You get to talk to Kanga for an hour on the way home from work....
    Unfortunately, she misunderstood the Genie and thought you wanted to talk about Family PLANNING, NOT being on a family plan....sooooo for a whole entire hour while you drive home, Kanga, being the sweetheart she is, talks non-stop to explain to you:

    "Well, Jef! Natural family planning is a method used to help a couple determine when sexual intercourse can and cannot result in pregnancy. During each menstrual cycle, one of a woman's ovaries releases an egg. This process is called ovulation. The egg moves toward the uterus through the fallopian tubes, where fertilization may take place. An unfertilized egg may live for up to 12 hours. The egg will be shed later during the menstrual period if it isn't fertilized. A woman is most likely to become pregnant if sexual intercourse takes place just before or just after ovulation. During the menstrual cycle, a number of changes occur in a woman's body. By keeping track of these changes, couples can plan when to have intercourse and when to avoid intercourse, depending on whether they are trying to achieve or avoid pregnancy"

    ......Kanga goes on and on and on and on and on and on, with you unable to get a word in edge wise....for a WHOLE HOUR, leaving you ready to poke your eyeballs out with any sharp object you can reach and wishing that T-Mobiles service wasn't so great afterall...because a dropped call would have really been sweet during that conversation.

    I wish that JDoc and Blkbear would make an appearance in the Genie thread also!
    05-14-09 04:17 PM
  18. RavenMaverick's Avatar
    Granted! JDoc and BlkBear finally show up in the Genie Thread via Las Vegas!

    Things go steadily downhill after that. David Copperfield is pied. Chris Angel is Mind Freaked. Carrot Top has blown out a vein. Gallagher forgot his melons. Wayne Newton shat himself backstage. And Roy was finally eaten by a big a tiger! Penn swallowed his bird and Teller started telling secrets left and right! Chaos everywhere....

    All because BlkBear and Jdoc finally made an appearance and upset all the other egos in the house! The Genie Thread and all of it's participants are banned from ever speaking of the incidents that evening and were run out of town on a rail.

    I wish Jdoc and BlkBear would have called ahead before showing up and stealing Vegas.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-14-09 08:19 PM
  19. Username0223's Avatar
    granted! jdoc and blkbear do call ahead from las vegas to a kanga, but it wasnt you....the operator misunderstood and connected them to "Captain Kangaroo" (the show) and he started going on and on about all the fun little things that can be done there....after the long winded convo they had trying to explain they reached him by error instead of you the call ends......the attempt was made once again to contact you and they succeed! but the line is all crackly and static and Kanga, you misunderstand them when they say there going to Las Vegas, you heard them say "meet me at the bodega" So here we are, standing in front of some bodega, with hoodlums packin all around us, wondering when the ehll their gonna show up...........

    I wish that we dont have to wait too long, the guy over there is lookin like he's ready to hold us up, and with all the cash we have in our pockets to play at Vegas, well he'll walk away one rich muther!!!
    05-14-09 09:26 PM
  20. jdoc77's Avatar
    And...

    *poof*

    How's that for service! I tried as hard as I could to get BlkBears furry a$$ out of the hot tub... but he says he's "illin" or some such... keeps singing about, "Slappin' babies at their christenin'".. not sure I get it... he raps pretty decent for an ursidine though.

    I guess my current wish is that we keep this thread going now that it's rolling again!

    Woot!
    05-14-09 09:59 PM
  21. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Well now jdoc, that's one wish that I will do everything in my power to keep granted. However, the Genie heard that you wanted to roll thread forever. You now find yourself in a South American textile sweat shop. You are in forced labor 20 hours a day, which even for a doctor can be exhausting. You do nothing but put thread onto rolls, inch by inch by hand. Two Columbian henchmen watch over you day and night. They take you and make you theirs, so even the 4 hours you have off are spent in slavery. Satisfying their every want and desire, you long for the days of shot up crack dealers, and pap smears on hookers.

    I wish jdoc had had the good sense to wish I'd hunt down BlkBear instead!
    05-15-09 04:43 AM
  22. JustPlainJef's Avatar
    Granted, and you do. What you failed to realize until you find him was that he had four female bears in the hot tub under the water (lucky bear) and their cubs were in the house glued to the TV watching the Jungle Book (who hasn't used that trick before?!?!?). You would have been hard pressed to take on a black bear, let alone four females who think that their cubs are being threatened... So Black Bear sits back with some scotch and a cigar and let's his girlies beat the snot out of you. Then, to add insult to injury, they call the cubs out to beat up on you. Just when you think things couldn't get any worse, one of the kids squats down to do what a bear normally does in the woods, but it's done on your head. And this particular bear wasn't feeling very well, so it's really runny and warm and smelly...

    The day ends with Bear getting services by four ladies, and you lying in a bloody heap with some bear soupy poopy on your head.


    I wish BBW had called for some backup before going after a bear...

    Granted! You get to talk to Kanga for an hour on the way home from work....
    Unfortunately, she misunderstood the Genie and thought you wanted to talk about Family PLANNING, NOT being on a family plan....sooooo for a whole entire hour while you drive home, Kanga, being the sweetheart she is, talks non-stop to explain to you:

    "Well, Jef! Natural family planning is a method used to help a couple determine when sexual intercourse can and cannot result in pregnancy. During each menstrual cycle, one of a woman's ovaries releases an egg. This process is called ovulation. The egg moves toward the uterus through the fallopian tubes, where fertilization may take place. An unfertilized egg may live for up to 12 hours. The egg will be shed later during the menstrual period if it isn't fertilized. A woman is most likely to become pregnant if sexual intercourse takes place just before or just after ovulation. During the menstrual cycle, a number of changes occur in a woman's body. By keeping track of these changes, couples can plan when to have intercourse and when to avoid intercourse, depending on whether they are trying to achieve or avoid pregnancy"

    ......Kanga goes on and on and on and on and on and on, with you unable to get a word in edge wise....for a WHOLE HOUR, leaving you ready to poke your eyeballs out with any sharp object you can reach and wishing that T-Mobiles service wasn't so great afterall...because a dropped call would have really been sweet during that conversation.

    I wish that JDoc and Blkbear would make an appearance in the Genie thread also!
    WOW! I had to stop reading, I was laughing so hard!!!!!

    05-15-09 06:11 AM
  23. -FeistyCJ-'s Avatar
    Granted! BBW actually DID have backup! He brought along his dear friend Kanga. Unfortunately, for him, being the crazy Kanga that she is....once seeing what the bears were doing to him, she thought it would be much better to catch this Kodak moment for memories.
    As BBW is being abused by the bears, screaming for her help....Giggling Kanga stands back, whips out her camcorder and catches every single minute on video.
    The video ends with BBW standing up, stumbling, blinded by soupy poopy as he yells "I'm gonna get you Kanga!", and Kanga standing there laughing so hard with her legs crossed because she is about to pee her pants!
    Memories!

    I wish Kanga hadn't posted that video on YouTube!





    and their cubs were in the house glued to the TV watching the Jungle Book (who hasn't used that trick before?!?!?).
    OMG......That was hysterical! Been there, done that...lmao!
    Last edited by Carol64; 05-15-09 at 10:37 AM.
    05-15-09 10:34 AM
  24. jdoc77's Avatar
    Sometimes even -I- shake my head and have to admit, Jdoc, you are currently WAY out of your league.

    *poof* ... Kanga didn't post the video on youtube.

    What really happened was...

    Well, she was at a coffee shop, editing the video, and the people at the adjacent table couldn't help but notice how funny she thought whatever she was working on was...

    When she got up to go pee (which seems to happen a lot around here.. go kidneys!) .. they hit play and watched the entire thing.

    You never know who you will meet in a coffee shop.

    This is where, kids, we learn the difference between a viral video on youtube, and one that gets played on national TV.

    Attempting to revive the 80's show "America's Funniest Home Videos" ... they stage a worldwide grand-opening. An aging and bearded Bob Saget makes a corny joke about Farm Animals and says, "Roll 'em..."

    As a lovable black bear lumbers into view...

    And the rest is.... history.
    .................................................. ........
    I wish (given my previous predicament bequeathed by BBW) for just ONE good pelvic on a "professional lady" today... erm.. instead of satisfying the desires of the dope dealers, that is.
    05-15-09 11:43 AM
  25. -FeistyCJ-'s Avatar
    I wish (given my previous predicament bequeathed by BBW) for just ONE good pelvic on a "professional lady" today... erm.. instead of satisfying the desires of the dope dealers, that is.
    Granted! you get to do ONE good pelvic on a "professional lady IMPERSONATER".

    UNFORTUNATELY, eagerly as you place "her" rather large hairy legs in the stirrups, your eyeballs pop out of your head because you are witnessing one of the worst cases of a Sex reassignment surgery gone awry. You've never seen a penectomy, orcidectomy and vaginoplasty unfinished and so messed up. There are parts and appendages you can't even identify! You've never before, and probably never will again, perform a pap smear, a rectal and a prostate check all at the same time.

    To make matters worse...as you look up at "her" face, she is looking down at you with an impish grin on her face and a loving twinkle in her eye as she whispers with a moan "JDoc, your hands are so big and so strong, yet so gentle...you are My Dr. McDreamy!" Your Adam's apple, which is the same size as "hers", makes a loud GULP.

    I don't even want to mention WHY you were doing this pelvic. Let's just say the word "removal" was in your dictation records....and, oh, I almost forgot to mention.... you have a hot date with "her" this evening!


    Oh, how I wish THIS memory including the date was caught on video and available on YouTube.
    Last edited by Carol64; 05-15-09 at 01:32 PM.
    05-15-09 12:35 PM
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