02-07-12 12:14 PM
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  1. jdoc77's Avatar
    And his first hit is.. I love you, you love me.. heaxmeaux-sexuality. People think, we're just friends... **** they don't know where it ENDS !!

    holy crap, you can't say b u t t !!!
    03-01-09 09:20 PM
  2. Blkbear's Avatar
    Dear Carol,

    You hate me, yes you do, you make me sing like you know who, with a big purple head and more teeth than me and you, Carol dear, I say shame on you!


    Poof! You CAN actually carry a tune in the vocal ranges that you can actually make...AND...you find out that voice of yours is going to be a big money maker!!! You audition and get the part for the singing voice of the lovable children's character:

    Barney!!!!



    I hope BlkBear has fun with Baby Bop and BJ!
    Last edited by BlkBear; 03-02-09 at 04:13 PM.
    03-02-09 02:10 AM
  3. -FeistyCJ-'s Avatar
    LOL!

    I wish BlkBear would admit just how much he loves it when we pick on him!

    And I worked hard today...I wish for a one hour deep muscle massage.
    Last edited by Carol64; 03-03-09 at 07:19 PM.
    03-02-09 04:30 PM
  4. -FeistyCJ-'s Avatar
    I wish Kanga would get her b u t t back in here!
    03-03-09 07:20 PM
  5. jdoc77's Avatar
    Oh my.. I get to grant TWO of Carol's wishes. ...

    Deep Muscle massage eh? Remember Gilligan? Let's just say that he shows up and long before the hour is over you are yelling "SKIPPER!!"

    And.. poof. Kanga's b u t t is front and center. And you know what we would all do with that!

    ....

    ....

    Spank it of course! In a friendly, please don't sue me for sexual harassment kind of way.

    I wish my little guy would get over this damn flu already!
    03-03-09 07:43 PM
  6. shwy's Avatar
    Granted, he gets over it, gets pneumonia, and dies. The end.

    I wish it would snow here. A blizzard for once.
    03-03-09 09:52 PM
  7. jdoc77's Avatar
    Granted.. it's a blizzard, and you are frozen solid in a block of ice and by a trick of fate you are fully aware and able to see and hear all around you...

    Sadly, they take your frozen self and use you for painful science experiments where they ... well I can't say or I would get banned, but when they are not laughing (cause you were frozen naked) you are in unimaginable pain. Since your metabolism is slowed, you live for dozens of years this way, ridiculed and in crippling pain every day... It's like the Metalica song One, except you can see everything that happens.. and they just laugh at you a lot...

    And I failed to mention that the research you are a part of leads to a breakthrough that saves my son. They only thought he was dead. He shows up at the now famous techluvr exhibit and... hugs your ice block saying, "though he is a true ***hole, he did actually save my life. I must... forgive him." My son grows up to be president and grants you a pardon and you are allowed to thaw out at which time all your frozen cells burst and you pop like a balloon... the lab rats lap up the remains... choke and die. The end.

    I wish you hadn't killed my son... lol.
    Last edited by jdoc77; 03-04-09 at 10:47 PM.
    03-03-09 10:18 PM
  8. -FeistyCJ-'s Avatar
    GRANTED. Your son is alive and well.
    But, he totally got what he deserved for even thinking up that awful post.

    I wish for no more morbid thoughts on this thread!
    Where the helllllll is Barney when we need him? lol
    Last edited by Carol64; 03-03-09 at 11:28 PM.
    03-03-09 10:31 PM
  9. RavenMaverick's Avatar
    Granted! There are no more morbid thoughts. Barney has come to visit, but we all hate him so much we pay him (handsomely) to leave us be. We all have happy thoughts and crap rainbows atleast twice a day. Is there such a thing as too much fiber in one's diet? LOL!

    I wish I could quit craping rainbows!



    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    03-04-09 06:28 AM
  10. Blkbear's Avatar
    Granted, no more SKITTLES for you!

    I wish for a pb&j, all I got is PB in the house.
    03-04-09 03:13 PM
  11. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Granted, but the genie was drunk and thought the "j" meant Jamacians, so now your house is full of them and since they are your guests you're obligated to let them have the last of the peanut butter and bread too.

    I wish I had more entertainment at work...

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    03-04-09 11:17 PM
  12. Blkbear's Avatar
    Granted, you have more entertainment in the form of 32 male strippers, all with signs saying there here for you! Oh and not good looking male strippers either, most of them have thatches of hair on their backs that make Big Foot look bald. Most have no teeth and hairy pits as well, half are fat and the other half smell like the last time water touched them was 1969. You get 32 lap dances including skid marks. Whoo Hooo!

    I wish to be no where near Sandman's place of work.
    03-05-09 08:59 PM
  13. jdoc77's Avatar
    Wish away, but... as you are driving in what you THINK is the opposite direction, you park, get out and realize you ARE at Sandman's place. Noticing your Black Bearness... the male strippers immediately grab you, one man to a hand and start singing Y.M.C.A. ... flash photography blinds you ... The rest is pictographic history.

    I wish never to see those pics.
    03-05-09 09:06 PM
  14. Blkbear's Avatar
    Granted, you never see the pictures, but you are strapped to a chair and have your eye lids propped open (ala A Clock Work Orange) to witness the 78 hours of VIDEO of the event. Thankfully due to my inability to sign, lip sync or dance, I was cut from any video and the footage burned.

    I wish crock pots were like pots of gold.
    Last edited by BlkBear; 03-06-09 at 07:46 AM.
    03-06-09 07:10 AM
  15. JavaRia's Avatar
    Granted but instead of pots of gold it's pots of poo

    I wish it was 85degrees out so I can get some well needed rays!
    03-06-09 09:32 AM
  16. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Granted, but its 85 degrees Kelvin, and sadly that's very cold.

    I wish it were roughly 28 degrees Celcius.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    03-06-09 10:49 AM
  17. Blkbear's Avatar
    Granted but instead of pots of gold it's pots of poo

    I wish it was 85degrees out so I can get some well needed rays!
    Granted, it's a balmy 85 degrees, the sun is shining, the breeze is gently blowing and all of a sudden POOF in a cloud of green and orange smoke appears several very pale, very frisky (in a bad way) old men in black socks and orthopedic sandals, all of course named Ray! They spot you and start asking you... "When is lunch, where's my wife, and what did you do with the smokes?"

    I wish I could watch TV all day and get paid to do it.
    03-06-09 10:51 AM
  18. -FeistyCJ-'s Avatar
    POOF! Wish granted, my dear bear friend! You DO get to watch TV all day and you get paid handsomely to watch it. Unfortunately, there is only ONE PBS show you are allowed to watch:





    I wish I could hear BlkBear sing:

    It's a beautiful day in this neighborhood,
    A beautiful day for a neighbor.
    Would you be mine?
    Could you be mine?...

    It's a neighborly day in this beauty wood,
    A neighborly day for a beauty.
    Would you be mine?
    Could you be mine?...

    I've always wanted to have a neighbor just like you.
    I've always wanted to live in a neighborhood with you.

    So, let's make the most of this beautiful day.
    Since we're together we might as well say:
    Would you be mine?
    Could you be mine?
    Won't you be my neighbor?
    Won't you please,
    Won't you please?
    Please won't you be my neighbor?
    Last edited by Carol64; 03-06-09 at 03:04 PM.
    03-06-09 02:05 PM
  19. RavenMaverick's Avatar
    Granted! BlkBear hears the "Song Heard 'Round The World". Then repeats it over and over and over. While he is standing in the Wal-Mart checkout singing the song, a PBS producer overhears him and asks if he would like to be the New Mr. Rogers. He accepts and spends the next 50 years wearing a woolen cardigan and a pair of women's blue Keds.

    I wish BlkBear would have turned down the job from PBS!


    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    03-06-09 02:49 PM
  20. JavaRia's Avatar
    Granted, it's a balmy 85 degrees, the sun is shining, the breeze is gently blowing and all of a sudden POOF in a cloud of green and orange smoke appears several very pale, very frisky (in a bad way) old men in black socks and orthopedic sandals, all of course named Ray! They spot you and start asking you... "When is lunch, where's my wife, and what did you do with the smokes?"

    I wish I could watch TV all day and get paid to do it.
    ******************** OMG the visual alone made me snort!
    03-06-09 02:54 PM
  21. Blkbear's Avatar
    ******************** OMG the visual alone made me snort!
    You know, some advertising agency could make a mint, with this thread. Have no idea what the heck they'd be selling, but some of the commercials would be hilarious, and others I'm sure would only air in Europe!

    They would always start out with some poor soul finding this beat up old crackberry lamp, rubbing it and letting out the genie with the malfunctioning hearing aide.

    After the wish gone bad story unfolds, you get the voice over.. "Didn't get what you wished for?" ... Go to... Buy... Call..." ... than you'd always see someone in the background running with flaming red hair, or a 1000 ducks following him/her.
    Last edited by BlkBear; 03-06-09 at 03:17 PM.
    03-06-09 03:14 PM
  22. -FeistyCJ-'s Avatar
    You know, some advertising agency could make a mint, with this thread. Have no idea what the heck they'd be selling, but some of the commercials would be hilarious, and others I'm sure would only air in Europe!

    They would always start out with some poor soul finding this beat up old crackberry lamp, rubbing it and letting out the genie with the malfunctioning hearing aide.

    After the wish gone bad story unfolds, you get the voice over.. "Didn't get what you wished for?" ... Go to... Buy... Call..." ... than you'd always see someone in the background running with flaming red hair, or a 1000 ducks following him/her.
    Ummm...would we star in the commercials portraying ourselves?
    If so, I may have some issues with a few of the scenes.
    (And a few I would not...)
    03-06-09 03:23 PM
  23. Blkbear's Avatar
    Ummm...would we star in the commercials portraying ourselves?
    If so, I may have some issues with a few of the scenes.
    (And a few I would not...)
    Oh no, I would not be getting exams or probed or dressed up in a tight pink tutu wearing a mink hat that bites, not me, uh uh!

    Oh I forgot...
    Granted, I turned down the great paying job wearing sweaters that would never keep you warm, or sneakers too small for my feet.

    I do wish some bright person that can make short videos, would make a few commercials based on a few of these wishes, and then post them here!!
    Last edited by BlkBear; 03-06-09 at 03:42 PM.
    03-06-09 03:40 PM
  24. -FeistyCJ-'s Avatar
    Well, BlkBear, we've given the bright people two days to step up to the challenge....no luck....so by default I think you should be granted another wish!
    03-08-09 02:44 PM
  25. 12MaNy's Avatar
    Oh no, I would not be getting exams or probed or dressed up in a tight pink tutu wearing a mink hat that bites, not me, uh uh!

    Oh I forgot...
    Granted, I turned down the great paying job wearing sweaters that would never keep you warm, or sneakers too small for my feet.

    I do wish some bright person that can make short videos, would make a few commercials based on a few of these wishes, and then post them here!!

    Granted, but all the videos are based on the boring, ordinary wishes and their not all that short.

    I seriously wish cerealberry would come back to this thread.
    03-08-09 03:18 PM
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