[12MaNy]

Granted, but Zeus gets tired of you flying in circles over Olympus and nails you with a lightning bolt.

I wish those 300 Spartans had won the battle of Thermopylae.

[USMCSergeant]

Granted, but Leonidas suffered a severe concusion, went mad and killed the other 299.

I wish I could fire my boss.

[cerealberry]

Granted.... But as he burns at the stake, sparks fly everywhere, igniting various pieces of papern burning down the office... You are then convicted of 1st degree arson. Citing human flesh as the accelarant

I wish I had a live-in personal massussee

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[la_mala]

Granted, but Inga (your massussee) is a big manly looking chick with chin hair & smelly feet, smokes like a chimney & drinks like a fish & eventually eats you out of house & home....

I wish I could read peoples minds....

[the_sandman_454]

Granted but you realize just how sick, perverted and/or sociopathic the majority of people are and lose your faith in humanity as a whole.

I wish I had a way to block people from reading my mind.

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[vndlewis]

Granted, you no longer have a mind.

I wish we could have volume on the TV at our table at the sportsbar we are at.

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[12MaNy]

Granted, but its the audio is from a different channel.

I wish my daughters weren't so proficient at annihilating a bathroom in under 24 hours.

[cerealberry]

Granted.... They learn to no longer use a bathroom and now care for all hygenie matters in your kitchen sink!!!

I wish I the person standing next to me on the train didn't just "expel gas"" (yuck... I am sitting and she is standing directly at nose level!!)

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[the_sandman_454]

Granted, but no longer able to vent, pressure builds up and she explodes, coating you with all manner of disgusting internal organs and stuff.

I wish my ish didn't stink.

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[cerealberry]

Granted.... But what are you going to do about that breath....... People actually faint each time you exhale!

I wish I could play office twister w/ a midget

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[the_sandman_454]

Granted but you really enjoy it, and it gets banned as a result so you can't do it anymore.

I wish I had a breath mint.

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[cerealberry]

Granted.... But it had been in your pocket for a very long time and is covered in lint, dust, little bitty hairs.... But what the hay, a mint is a mint.... *POP*!

I wish pizza grew on trees.

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[the_sandman_454]

Granted but you thought your windows and car got crapped on bad enough when birds just ate seeds and little old ladies' bread crumbs. This is your worst nightmare.

I wish birds wouldn't crap everywhere.

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[tennislvr8]

Granted but you thought your windows and car got crapped on bad enough when birds just ate seeds and little old ladies' bread crumbs. This is your worst nightmare.

I wish birds wouldn't crap everywhere.

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Granted, they have stopped crapping everywhere, they now only crap on your head!

I wish i could attend all for major tennis championships this year as a special guest of The Williams Sisters and Roger Federer.

[cerealberry]

Granted...... Bernice and francine williams and their boss roger invite you to the championships..... However they will need you to sell hotdogs and lemon slushies up and down the aisles.....

I wish my dog wouldn't snore so loudly

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[pstereo]

Done...but the air needs a way out, so he farts really loud now.

I wish people in Miami would FKN learn how to drive..

[la_mala]

Granted but now US-1 looks like a Nascar event....

I wish the weekend consisted of 3 days not just 2.

[vndlewis]

Granted, but there have been 2 days added to the work week.

I wish my dogs would stop fighting.

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[jimmiejohnson]

wish granted, But now the do the doggie style on everything in sight!!!!!

I wish more people would be free thinkers.

[Adrienne1214]

Granted but they all free think alike

I wish there was a cure

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[12MaNy]

Granted, but you didnt tell the genie which cure, so he gives you the cure for attractiveness.

I wish there was beer flavored toothpaste.

[cerealberry]

Granted.... But it's counterpart is mint flavored beer.

I wish crazy people would stop coming into my office

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[12MaNy]

Granted, but now they just stand outside of your office and crazily stare at you through your window while drooling and singing "I Am Henry The 8th I Am" by Herman's Hermits.

I wish I didnt just spill ranch on my shirt!!!

[jimmiejohnson]

granted...it is now blue cheese!

I wish it snows in central pa over 8 inches.

[cerealberry]

Granted...... It snows alright.. Try 8feet!!!!


I wish I had a piece of kleenex! My nose keeps running!!!

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