[Blkbear]

Granted Jim is now you friend, and while riding in your car, you are pulled over and he has 20,000 worth of drygs on him, you car gets taken and the two of you are arrested on charges of trying to sell drugs.

I wish I could kill my bosses and get away with it, but will settle for all the overtime I'm owed for Dec.

[cerealberry]

Granted... But your boss shows you the fine print in your contract which states that you promise to donate all overtime funds earned to the "help the starving ceo's of wall street" fund.... So check is automatically sent to bill gates.

I wish I could shake hands w/ howie mandel

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[the_sandman_454]

Granted but since he's a germophobe he does that fist hand shake. Unfortunately he does it too aggressively and your hands both break.

I wish that fist bump handshake would go away.

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[cerealberry]

Granted.... Instead.... Eskimo kissing becomes the new "in" greeting.....

I wish I could be a geeshia

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[12MaNy]

Granted but you find out that "Geeshia" is Japanese slang for "Gangster" and now your rollin' with tha Tokyo Crips.

I wish I owned a platypus farm.

[USMCSergeant]

Granted, but your platypus farm is all male and they like to stomp you constantly with the venomous spurs on their hind legs.

I wish for 10 more wishes

[cerealberry]

Granted.... But genie is a little hard of hearing... Thought you asked for "a pen for fishes".... And instead you wind up with a new aquarium.

I wish I had invented the uglydoll!

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[la_mala]

Granted, but they're soooo ugly, they traumatize children every where & u have to go into hiding or face a lynch mob of angry parents.

I wish I lived on a beach some where.

[the_sandman_454]

Granted but there is nothing to make a structure out of, and seagulls use you continually for target practice.

I wish hunting seagulls was legal.

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[Adrienne1214]

Granted but then hunting bears becomes illegal and they over populate your area

I wish I could find a new job

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[la_mala]

Granted, but u hate it more than a visit to the dentist....

I wish I could hunt some of my co-workers, hhehehe

[Adrienne1214]

Granted and you do but you get arrested and spend the rest of your life in jail with big bertha

I wish I knew why my dog killed my stuffed bear by tearing it's eyes off and pulling the stuffing through the eye holes...

[Cinn]

Granted and you reallize he did you a favor becuz the bear was possessed and about to attack you.

I wish I could murder my coworker guilt-free and get away with it.

[12MaNy]

Granted, but then that person's ghost constantly follows you everywhere screaming "MURDERER!!!".

I wish I had a giant man-eating plant that I could cart around town in a red wagon.

[the_sandman_454]

Granted, but its a tropical plant and a sudden cold snap hits while you're out and about with it, and it dies.

I wish I had a red wagon.

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[vndlewis]

Granted, but it has no wheels.

I wish I could lose weight.

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[cerealberry]

Granted..... With a quick toe-ectomy you are suddenly 20lbs lighter and can now wear size 6 shoes!! (Bonus!!!)

I wish I would have a tummy-ectomy.

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[Adrienne1214]

Granted but then you are no longer able to eat and you suffer greatly for years which is a miracle because most people don't survive without eating but it sucks because you have to watch everyone else eat yummy yummy food.

I wish I hadn't locked my keys in the car

[cerealberry]

Granted.... But as you were insuring that they were out of the car, you accidently dropped them down the sewer...


I wish I had a car that worked by mind control

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[Adrienne1214]

Granted but as you are driving it with that mind control you suddenly have a day dream and crash

I wish I could fly

[Blkbear]

Ganted, but you fly like a drunken duck and crash into buildings and planes, and are no better at landing and always crater when you do land.

I wish I had all the money I needed.

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[ItsBets]

Granted, but your mistake was in using the word "needed", you do not have all the money you wanted and are forever unhappy at that misfortunate error in wording.

I wish I could lick my genitals like my dogs can theirs! lol

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[the_sandman_454]

Granted but oh nevermind I'm not gonna do a hairball joke here.

I wish I don't get banned for that.

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[vndlewis]

granted you don't get banned from CB, but you get banned from all social threads.

I wish my husband was not being such an a$$.

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[ItsBets]

Granted - lol. Not banned and you got a laugh! How's why, Sand?

I wish I had a big waterbed right now!!

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