[Blkbear]

Grant, and the only gifts you get are DVDs of my Adult films... co-starring two goats, three monkeys and a one legged man name Jake with a peg leg with his wonder horse Fredrick.

I wish I had a monkey.

[Adrienne1214]

Granted but you get arrested because of what you did to the poor thing in your videos

I wish people would just get along

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[the_sandman_454]

Granted but it breaks all your things around the house, throws excrement at you and won't eat anything but bananas. It makes obscene gestures at your guests, using said bananas to demonstrate.

I wish I could watch that from a safe distance out of range of the poo flinging monkey.

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[Adrienne1214]

Granted but you have another poo flying monkey with you


I wish we could stop talking about adult films and monkeys

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[the_sandman_454]

Granted but getting along kills the economy since we no longer need weapons of any kind.

I wish we could change "thou shalt not covet" to "thou shalt covet whatever thou wantst".

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[the_sandman_454]

Granted, but then we run out of ideas for the thread.

I wish bald eagles could afford hair restoration.

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[Adrienne1214]

Granted but you get struck by lightning for changing it

I wish I had more games for my DS

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[the_sandman_454]

Granted but then the DS and all the new games gets stolen by ninjas.

I wish I was a ninja.

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[cerealberry]

granted..but instead of those deadly throwing stars, you are blessed with a sparkly wand and fairy dust.

I wish my dog's bladder didn't have an automatic 6am timer.

[tennislvr8]

granted..but instead of those deadly throwing stars, you are blessed with a sparkly wand and fairy dust.

I wish my dog's bladder didn't have an automatic 6am timer.

Granted, it has been changed to an automatic 5am timer and a need for an every hour on the hour release

I wish I a recliner in my bedroom.

[cerealberry]

granted.. too bad it is an old, puce colored lazyboy you found in the alley and has bedbugs!!

I wish I had a universal remote, and could walk up and down the block, changing everyone's tv channels.

[sharley2112]

Granted, but now any TV you try to watch only shows the same most boring documentry ever made. I wish I had full control of my future.

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[cerealberry]

granted..but you have no ambition or drive.. so a paper hat and "would you like fries with that" are the only prospects you have.

I wish i could grow a crunchberry tree in my backyard.

[sharley2112]

Granted, but there is a new crunchberry pest that eats all your crunchberries. I wish my projectors would start themselves so I could take a real break.

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[Blkbear]

Granted, but seeing as how they start themselves, the owners fire you and hire a monkey to load the projectors, giving you a really BAD BREAK.

I wish I didn't have to drive in to work today, with crazy people, who can't drive when it's wet, dark, raining or snowing.

[cerealberry]

Granted... But then you realize that your bicycle has a flat tire, so your only option is to take your neighbors big wheel.

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[sharley2112]

Granted, you have to walk to work now, with the monkey that gave me my BAD BREAK. I wish the monkey would give me my job back.

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[cerealberry]

Oh and I wish I could remember to make a wish

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[the_sandman_454]

Granted, but it never makes any sense.

I wish I would have met you, but now its a little late.

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[JavaRia]

Granted... I guess

I wish it was Saturday again

[rb26naya]

granted, but then you get seven mondays in a row...

i wish i could get more sleep.

uh oh.

[bx2md]

granted but its a bed of nails

i wish i didnt have to work so hard

[cerealberry]

Granted... But your laziness forces everyone you know and love to work even harder and you can only sit around and watch them toil.

I wish I was purple.

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[contractorslim]

Granted but then the world would look @ you funny and some idiots might try to eat the walking grape!

I wish that money grew on trees and we didn't have to deal with political bull***t

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[ItsBets]

Granted, but just as your money tree flourished, it got a Bug to eat your fortune and everyone else became filthy rich, leaving you poor and alone.

I wish my christmas shopping was done.

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