[shwy]

Granted but you have no money left.
I wish I was invisible.

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[Blue_Snowflakes]

Granted but you're blind too.

I wish I had $25,000 real american, non taxed dollars that I get to keep and spend on whatever I want.

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[Hi-Definition]

Granted. However WHO you give what you spend the 'WHATEVER YOU WANT' on...has to be given to a poor kid in Somalia.

I wish the Bears would stop sucking.

[Blue_Snowflakes]

Granted: they're no longer in the league. Problem solved.

I wish I could buy someone else something really nice- at no cost to me.

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[the_sandman_454]

Granted but then the cops show up and arrest you for credit card fraud.

I wish I had a piniata.

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[Blue_Snowflakes]

LMAO! Granted but its funn of bugs.

I wish I had a pet polar bear

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[Blue_Snowflakes]

Oops by bad! Full*

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[the_sandman_454]

Granted but to the bear you look like a yummy snack and it attacks you forcing you to shoot it repeatedly in the head to stop the attack but not before it did some pretty severe damage.

I wish to never make typos.

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[Blue_Snowflakes]

Granted but you forget the entire english language.

I wish I had a personal chauffeur

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[shwy]

Granted but it's already been hit.

I wish my sister wasn't so odd. I wish she was gone.

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[shwy]

Oops! The chauffeur does not know how to drive.
Same wish

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[the_sandman_454]

Granted but she now rules the planet and you get to be a servant.

I wish someone wanted to play lawn darts.

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[Blue_Snowflakes]

Granted but the ground is covered in snow.

I wish I could get a pedicure

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[cerealberry]

Granted,,, but the person befor you had terrible fungus and the cheap manicurist doesn't bother to clean her instruments.. You contract the fungi and because your lover has a foot fetish... He contracts terrible foot/mouth disease...

I wish I had a cleaning fairy

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[Blue_Snowflakes]

Granted but its a little statue that sits on your mantle and it says, "I'm your cleaning fairy"

I wish I had a new mattress.

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[the_sandman_454]

granted but its firm like granite except in random spots and gives you a horrible backache.

I wish they allowed golfing in winter up here.

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[Blue_Snowflakes]

Granted but you can only play w/ white golf balls.

I wish I knew what I wanted to do w/ my life.

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[the_sandman_454]

Granted but you realize its a professional pan-handler.

I wish I had a pet chimpanzee.

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[Blue_Snowflakes]

Granted but it refuses to wear a diaper or use the toilet, thus crapping everywhere and peeing in the corner.

I wish I could be a guy for a few hours. Just to see what its like.

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[the_sandman_454]

Granted, but you just stand around and scratch yourself without being embarassed.

I wish I ruled the world.

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[cerealberry]

Granted but global warming finally takes its toll and the world is washed away.

I wish my husband wasn't acting like such an ***!

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[the_sandman_454]

Granted but the behavior gets more like a boar instead.

I wish to not go home to an empty house after work.

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[Blue_Snowflakes]

Granted. There are burglars there waiting for you.

I wish I could take a longer nap.

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[Blkbear]

Granted, you wake up 3000 years later as a living museum exhibit, on a planet full of Rabbit like aliens.

I wish that all bad wishes become good wishes.

[Rose6446]

Granted but the good wishes are never the ones YOU wished, but what ur significant other wanted!

I wish my ex would become dependable!

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