1. middbrew's Avatar
    Granted, but now you have the whole muffin in your mustache.

    I wish I was on the beach with no care in the world.
    12-01-11 10:39 AM
  2. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Granted, but there's no food available on the beach. you continue not caring as you gradually starve.

    I wish I had the ability to shock people with electricity without batteries or cords.
    12-01-11 03:21 PM
  3. Blkbear's Avatar
    I wish I had the ability to shock people with electricity without batteries or cords.
    Granted, you are now forced to drag a polyester rug with you everywhere you go, so you can wear your silk slippers to shuffle over the rug, to build up a static charge, to annoy people the world over as to send tiny bolts of staic lightening into the tops of their ears.

    I wish for rain while Sandman sneaks up behind me for my lightening shock.
    12-01-11 06:44 PM
  4. highjakker's Avatar
    granted. it will only rain where you are when sandman is behind you giving you "the shocker"



    i wish it would rain dollar bills for a day.
    12-02-11 10:05 AM
  5. jlb21's Avatar
    Granted, but they all call down the sewer drain.

    I wish ScoJo _____ (insert your own word)
    12-02-11 01:23 PM
  6. highjakker's Avatar
    ...would auction herself off for charity.

    granted. she is really auctioning herself off for charity but regular guys like us stand 0 chance.....still.


    i wish i was scojo's charity!
    12-05-11 08:46 AM
  7. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Granted, but you're the one responsible for janatorial services at the charity, not a beneficiary of it.

    I wish I was a professional swimsuit model photographer
    12-05-11 06:41 PM
  8. Blkbear's Avatar
    I wish I was a professional swimsuit model photographer
    Granted, and poof you are on set for the "Hairiest Male Swimsuit Models of the Year", photo shoot. And you are donating your services, because you want the extra "exposure".

    I wish I wasn't evil... when it comes to wishes!
    Last edited by BlkBear; 12-05-11 at 07:17 PM.
    12-05-11 06:51 PM
  9. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Granted but then the game becomes very boring.

    I wish I remembered to be more specific about what I'm wishing for.
    12-05-11 08:09 PM
  10. Blkbear's Avatar
    I wish I remembered to be more specific about what I'm wishing for.
    Granted, now all you have to do is to remember to never make wished after dental work, involving Novocaine. So whatever your wish was, we will never know, but the image of you, with a zebra stuck to your back and an angry badger glued to your chest makes us all wonder.

    I wish I knew what that fat lipped, Novocaine slurred induced wish was!
    12-06-11 12:54 AM
  11. highjakker's Avatar
    wish granted and now you know why they say "you can't wash out your minds eye".

    i wish there really was a santa claus.
    12-06-11 08:57 AM
  12. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    wish granted and now you know why they say "you can't wash out your minds eye".

    i wish there really was a santa claus.
    Granted, but rather than leaving gifts, he takes whatever gifts you have instead. Yeah, dat's right yo, he a thug...

    I wish the santa that delivered presents would bring me some new PS3 games.
    12-06-11 09:24 AM
  13. Blkbear's Avatar
    Granted, but rather than leaving gifts, he takes whatever gifts you have instead. Yeah, dat's right yo, he a thug...

    I wish the santa that delivered presents would bring me some new PS3 games.
    Granted, Santa the thug, dumps several thousand dollars in PS3 games at your place. All with GPS tracker tags. Yup you got it, Santa has left you holding the bag! The cops have been tracking Santa Thug for hours, and you have been caught red handed (along with a spare red suit in your size with inflatable bladder). You have just been Santa Punked!

    I wish Santa would change his thuggish ways!
    12-07-11 03:50 AM
  14. trucky's Avatar
    Granted, but now Santa has sugar in his tank and you don't really want him in your house any more.

    I wish the occupyers would go occupy the south pole.
    12-19-11 10:55 AM
  15. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Granted, but the penguins that live there sue you personally for polluting their habitat with smelly hippies. You lose the suit and now they're occupying your house.

    I wish I had some bourbon.
    12-30-11 03:42 PM
  16. cerealberry's Avatar
    Granted, you find yourself in the midst of Kentucky .. Nothing but barrels of bourbon for miles around... Except for that bourbon farmer with the double barrel shot gun and his wife/sister/aunt and her daughter who has eyes for you! With a toothless grin she says.. "Daddy! Is that there my christmas present?".......


    I wish sandman were able to run like the wind
    12-30-11 08:24 PM
  17. Blkbear's Avatar

    I wish I had some bourbon.
    Granted, you now own gallons and gallons of the finest bourbons on the planet, only one tiny problem, you don't drink and have such a severe allergy to alcohol, that just being in the same room as a sealed bottle/case/barrel of bourbon, puts you in a coma for weeks.

    I wish I had a new laptop (the snazzier the better).
    12-30-11 08:25 PM
  18. BigBadWulf's Avatar


    I wish my own dang son remembered who my girlfriend was.
    12-30-11 11:43 PM
  19. Blkbear's Avatar
    Click to view quoted image


    I wish my own dang son remembered who my girlfriend was.
    Granted, but just so you know, I can't remember my own name half the time!

    I wish someone would lable pops pictures with crackberry and real name of his girlfriend, so as I go deeper into my flaky brain syndrome, I can stem the flow of brain farts!

    PS whats upwith the lamp shade?
    12-31-11 05:59 PM
  20. highjakker's Avatar
    granted. all you have to do from now on to remember your dad's GF is to simply pull the box out from under his bed that "she" was mailed in.


    i wish i could pimp slap anyone, anywhere, whenever i wanted by just mentally imagining them getting pimped slapped by me.
    01-02-12 09:55 AM
  21. trucky's Avatar
    Sadly, you chose Chuck Norris to be your first pimp slap victim. Using his superior mental prowess, he learns who and where you are and hunts you down. Starting with his roundhouse kick he proceeds to reduce you to a whimpering pool of tears and sobs as you beg for mercy.

    I wish Christmas vacation lasted another few weeks.
    01-02-12 01:09 PM
  22. Blkbear's Avatar
    Granted, Christmas vacation lasts for eight more weeks, but alas, you spend the entire eight weeks in the drunk tank in a south Florida jail, without the good fortune of even having been drunk in the first place to land in jail. But Bubba and Clem treats you real nice because, "You gots a real pretty mouth."
    Is that banjos I hear?


    I wish I could swim with the dolphins.
    Last edited by BlkBear; 01-03-12 at 02:17 AM.
    01-03-12 02:08 AM
  23. highjakker's Avatar
    granted. but the cuban mafia took the old italian term of "swimming with the fishes" and modified it to fit in miami so now you're swimming with the dolphins wearing concrete flippers.

    i wish everytime i withdrew money from my bank account it would be replenished with 10oz of gold.
    01-03-12 08:04 AM
  24. middbrew's Avatar
    Granted, however gold is now worthless and you get a surcharge for the bank storing it for you.

    I wish all of the politicians were honest.
    01-03-12 08:34 AM
  25. Blkbear's Avatar
    Granted, all because of your wish Hades has frozen over, along with the oceans most of the sky and half of all land masses.

    I wish theree were an easy way to turn trash into treasures.
    01-03-12 02:35 PM
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