[the_sandman_454]

Granted, but the increase in solar radiation makes all of the water evaporate.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

[highjakker]

granted. now you and only you are allowed to wear nothing but lingerie to work every day.


i wish my phone would automatically morph into the newest and best phone on the market with just a push of a button.

[trucky]

Granted. But this is a one shot deal... and you forgot to set the date right. You now have a Moto.... the original.



I wish the lake water was 84 degrees again.

[the_sandman_454]

Granted, but it turns out a volcano under it has suddenly became active, and you more or less find yourself living the plot of the movie Volcano except everyone gets coated with lava instead.

I wish that was a better movie

[highjakker]

granted! it was remade with an all star cast and plenty of boobage and destruction, exploding cars and people, gratuitous sex scenes, lots of foul language and not politically correct either. the only place that will show this movie is in west africa where the popcorn is stale but the butter is fresh.


i wish the government would pass a law requiring all p0rn industries from magazines to videos and internet to pay a 5% tax and give me all the proceeds!

[Blkbear]

i wish the government would pass a law requiring all p0rn industries from magazines to videos and internet to pay a 5% tax and give me all the proceeds!

Granted, but the current proceeds happens to be tube socks full of spooge, which for some odd reason you are VERY happy to receive. (yeah I said that, and of yeah Ewwww!)

I wish that Pumpkin Spice Lattes cost less!

[the_sandman_454]

Granted, the beverages cost less, but then so many people buy them that they run out of raw materials to make more before you can get to the store to get even one.

I wish people gave me money for no good reason.

[Blkbear]

I wish people gave me money for no good reason.

Granted, people are giving you money left and right for well, no good reason.... problem is you have a gun glued to your hand, making them all assume the worst, and as luck would have it, you glued your lips shut as well and can't explain that you don't want their money. Sadly you can't defend yourself in court to explain and you are thrown in prison for several years for armed robbery.
Oh and you never get that gun unglued, too bad it's only a movie prop.

I wish I got paid today and could buy my new laptop now!

[the_sandman_454]

Granted, but hidden in the software licenses was the requirement that you become Bill Gates' personal servant for one year. This was a bad day to skip reading the agreement and click "agree".

I wish for chaos

[jlb21]

Granted. But eventually the chaos leads to the destruction of the earth.

I wish it was spring already.....

[the_sandman_454]

Granted, but winter didn't go away, you still got all the snow you would have gotten, just all at one time, and it is summer by the time it all melts.

I wish the holidays were over.

[highjakker]

granted. there are no more holidays as of now and the world goes into a terrible emotional depression and suicide rates climb as do violent crimes and it is all tracked back to your wish and you become the most hated man on earth known as "the man who killed christmas".

i wish i had all of superman's powers.

[trucky]

Granted! But now every new cell phone is built with a small kryptonite chip in it for unknown reasons and you are virtually powerless and wimpy, except in the remote reaches of the Amazon basin or Sahara desert.

I wish my coffee tasted better.

[middbrew]

Granted, but now coffee is an illegal substance and you go to jail for drinking it.

I wish I could go cliff diving in Jamaica.

[highjakker]

granted. but now all the the waters surrounding the cliffs are only 3" deep.


i wish i didn't have this cold.

[C.Knowledge]

Granted, you have got rid of the cold, but now you have the flu.


I wish i had a bottomless pit

[the_sandman_454]

Granted, your pits are now bottomless, but that's because they're really black holes, and they ultimately rip you in half before they destroy the world.

I wish the government would drop the $1 coin idea so we can keep making it rain vs making it hail.

[jlb21]

Granted. But now the government comes out with a $2 coin.

I wish I could beam myself anywhere I wanted.

[the_sandman_454]

Granted, but beaming yourself is considered an inappropriate act and banned most places.

I wish I had some pie

[jlb21]

Granted. But consuming that kind of pie in public is against the law so you end up in jail for 90 days.

I wish for the audio from tonight's performance of You and I by Gaga and Sugarland on the Grammy Nominations concert is made available on iTunes/Amazon/etc......

[middbrew]

Granted, but it cost $2.5 million so you are out of luck.

I wish I would have caught more fish this past weekend.

[the_sandman_454]

Granted, but you get arrested for game violations and explosives charges for the methods you used.

I wish there was no genie.

[Blkbear]

I wish there was no genie.

Granted, you get the wish the and there are no longer any genie. But as luck would have it, you get instead wishing trolls. Thanks to you the internet is FULL of wishing Trolls and all bets are off on how well they take over for the genies.

Thank Sandman.... I'm up to my rump in Troll Hair!

I wish for a troll doll, to help save Sandman from harm.

[the_sandman_454]

Granted, you get your troll doll but it becomes alive and turns into a serial killer.

I wish they'd find a way to divide by zero.

[Blkbear]

I wish they'd find a way to divide by zero.

Granted and Poof the answer is always meerkats squared, no matter what number you divide by zero with. And thanks to you the world is plunged into another dark age as everyone tries to figure out this new, new math. Of course calculators are shorting out, because of the new meerkat rules of math.

I wish I had a crumb free moustache .