1. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    I wish one day i will do a job
    Granted, but Donald Trump utters the famous "you're fired" line when you fail to follow instructions.

    I wish this cough would go away.
    05-23-11 05:19 AM
  2. SCrid2000's Avatar
    Granted, it's replaced by explosive diarrhea.

    I wish I could walk around with swords like people in video games.
    05-23-11 10:33 PM
  3. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Granted, but you promptly get arrested for walking around with your "sword" outl

    I wish I had tortilla chips.
    05-23-11 10:39 PM
  4. cerealberry's Avatar
    Granted... But genie is old and his hearing poor... He thought you said tarantula chips.. Good thing he found one during his last flight to alaska...

    I wish I had a fairy godmother
    07-02-11 10:37 AM
  5. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Granted, but that damned genie heard hairy godmother. Not much use, and sheds like crazy. Now your vacuum is on the fritz, and company is heading your way. Dang woman has been attracting flies too.

    I wish I had a week's vacation due.
    07-03-11 05:56 PM
  6. highjakker's Avatar
    granted. but you can only take it one day at a time and the only day available for vacations are sundays.

    i wish i could invent instant abs in a can.
    07-05-11 09:16 AM
  7. cerealberry's Avatar
    Granted.... Its called crisco..

    I wish for a european vacation with the man of my dreams
    07-05-11 10:22 AM
  8. SCrid2000's Avatar
    Granted.... Its called crisco..

    I wish for a european vacation with the man of my dreams
    Granted. To bad it's ask an illusion.

    I wish I had a 76 inch plasma TV.

    Sent from my NookColor using Tapatalk
    07-05-11 11:45 PM
  9. trucky's Avatar
    The most beautiful 76" plasma sits across from you on the wall. Unfortunately it only shows endless reruns of Barney...

    I wish for whirled peas.
    07-06-11 06:42 AM
  10. cerealberry's Avatar
    Genie thought you were part of a beauty pageant.. Cause what Jr. Miss Artichoke princess doesn't ask for whirled peas... Therefore, hoping to make all your pageant dreams come true, genie bestows you with permanently implanted crown and sash.

    I wish to ride a camel across the desert.
    07-06-11 07:23 AM
  11. highjakker's Avatar
    granted....but your camel has an inverted hump and his belly tends to drag on the hot sand so he'll only walk 15 feet at a time before stopping for 45 minutes.

    i wish i were a world famous movie star.
    07-06-11 07:48 AM
  12. jlb21's Avatar
    Granted....but then you were found to have had an encounter with heidi Fleiss and you career has been ruined.
    07-06-11 08:26 AM
  13. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    I wish the previous poster would have wished for something.
    07-09-11 08:44 PM
  14. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    The all knowing, all caring, omnipotent genie says....
    Denied! If jib can't play the game, he can't get no grant.

    I wish I'd never turned down that road today.
    07-09-11 08:56 PM
  15. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Granted, but the road turned you down instead.

    I wish I had caught more fish while camping.
    07-09-11 10:43 PM
  16. SCrid2000's Avatar
    Granted, but the fish you caught was a 60 foot man eating shark.

    I wish I had a 100gb/s internet connection.
    07-10-11 10:37 PM
  17. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Granted, but by the time you get your 100gb/s connection, it will feel horribly slow compared to the shiny new 5TB/s connections the companies are offering, and you still have to make an appointment for them to break a time or two before they finally install it.

    I wish I had something other than dialup at home.
    07-10-11 11:22 PM
  18. highjakker's Avatar
    granted....your computer is now connected to the world wide web by soup cans and a string.

    i wish i had a real money tree growing in my back yard that grew 20 & 50 dollar bills.
    07-11-11 09:30 AM
  19. cerealberry's Avatar
    i wish i had a real money tree growing in my back yard that grew 20 & 50 dollar bills.
    Granted..... Unfortunately, just days before your first harvest.. The magnificent bush covered with lovely green flowering funds.... Is attacked by the japanese yen beetle.... Destroying it almost instantaneously and turning your cash into trash...

    I wish I had an endless supply of m&m's...
    09-22-11 07:20 AM
  20. jlb21's Avatar
    Granted, but the formula is wrong and they actually melt in your hands.....

    I wish today were Friday!
    09-22-11 08:03 AM
  21. fastandfurious's Avatar
    Today is Friday, but you will spend the entire day listening to the Friday song by Rebecca Black.

    I wish that the NHL regular season started already.
    09-22-11 09:05 AM
  22. highjakker's Avatar
    granted...but the early start has them playing in swimming pools.

    i wish girls would wear just their panties and bras on tuesdays and thursdays.
    09-22-11 09:18 AM
  23. middbrew's Avatar

    I wish summer wouldn't end.
    09-22-11 10:35 AM
  24. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Granted, but then we don't get to harvest crops, have no rainy season, and we all starve to death.

    I wish trees would cut and split themselves.
    09-22-11 08:03 PM
  25. highjakker's Avatar
    granted but it only applies to trees in the rain forest...thanks.

    i wish i had a personal assistant who was in charge of picking my nose.
    09-29-11 09:00 AM
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