granted......now every dog has an unresistable urge to hump YOUR leg.
i wish i had middbrew's collection of WHAM! memoribilia.
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granted......now every dog has an unresistable urge to hump YOUR leg.
i wish i had middbrew's collection of WHAM! memoribilia.
Granted, but he steals your Vanilla Ice memoriabelia collection.
I wish I had a bottle of soda.
granted. here is a bottle of soda water.
i wish i had x-ray vision when i wanted it.
Granted, but sadly you're never sure what you want, and the x ray vision catches you off guard just because your mind vaguely wanders.
I wish I didn't need to mow the lawn.
granted...here is your first male brazilian coupon.
i wish eating bacon gave me six pack abs.
Granted, you get the same abs you'd get from drinking hundreds of six packs.
I wish stupid people would simply spontaneously combust.
Granted. The earth is destroyed by fire.
I wish I was cooking shrimp on the grill today.
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granted. your cubicle catches fire and the office sprinkler system goes off.
i wish i knew every winning lottery number a week in advance and wrote them down so i won't forget them.
Granted. Everyone knows the number however, and you win $1.
I wish I had a grill that would not set off fire alarms.
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granted. your grill doesn't set off fire alarms but the charcoal does.
i wish i had 5 million dollars.
Granted, but the id1ots at the treasury keep printing so much money your $5mil is now worth a few cents in last year's money.
I wish the fools at the treasury would wake up and stop printing more money.
Granted. Except then we don't have money to fulfill all our debts, and Obama doesn't plan to reduce his vacation fund anytime soon. The US sells Michigan to China to pay off some of the debt. Better learn Cantonese.
I wish I had one of those treasury printers.
Granted, but the secret service shoots you while "resisting" after they kick your door in and you go to hug your printing machine one last time.
I wish everybody thought "need" wasn't a valid reason to give my assets to others.
granted. but the secret service comes knocking on your door looking for obama's missing allowance printer.
i wish i had a double cheeseburger right about now....
Granted, but the cheese goes bad.
I wish I can sleep well.
granted. you sleep well all the time any time....welcome to narcolepsy.
i wish i owned a gentlemen's club.
Granted, but a lot of silly people who wouldn't go into the establishment anyway feel the need to push their beliefs on everyone else and decide to try to shut it down, or at least regulate it so much that the patrons decide to hit the club outside of town rather than yours.
I wish do gooders would stop trying to push their morality on everyone.
granted...no twist here i want the same thing.
i wish politicians were honest.
Granted, on that same day Satan sends out a call for a furnace repairman.
I wish I could win the bid to fix it.
granted but you have to wear a full bodied kevlar suit 24 hours a day.
i wish it would never rain on my softball dates.
Granted, your softballs always stay completely dry during dates.
I wiish I had another planet to escape to
Granted. It's called Pandora. And the humans are ransacking it to get all of the Unobtanium.
I wish 3D glasses were more comfortable.
granted. they fit as snug as your favorite pair of sunglsses. however the screen on your 3D tv is not 46" thick.
i wish was king of the USA for 5 years.
Granted, you're now the Burger King. You have no authority but you can wear the creepy mask and scare the heck out of people.
I wish I could do that
I wish one day i will do a job