1. Voltron159's Avatar
    Ok so Crackberry users are very diverse people, we come from many different parts of the globe and all sorts of jobs... as such we must have some funny stories to tell. This is a place to share some of your stories. I will start it off with one from a job I had a few years ago.


    So I was working as a server/bartender at an upscale restaurant in LA and we had this berry dessert. In the description it said “berries vary by season”. Well this really dumb server walks up to the executive chef and says “Chef what berries are in the berry dessert right now.”

    The Chef replied, “Berries are out of season right now.” Now most people would leave it at that, but not this server… he pressed the issue by saying “That’s fine but what berries are in the dessert”. After going back and forth about how berries are out of season to only be asked which berries are available… the executive chef got angry and said “raspberries and dingleberries.”

    The server said “finally, was that so hard?” Walked over to the guest and said, “Sir your berry dessert will feature raspberries and dingleberries.” Mind you as fate would have it, right before this sentence the normally loud restaurant got eerily quiet so that everyone could hear. For the next month “Dingleberries” were on the 86 list (list of items we were sold out of at the time)…
    10-09-08 08:06 AM
  2. Blkbear's Avatar
    When I worked as a restaurant manager in a steak house, one of the cooks dropped a steak into a mop bucket, threw ir back on the grill and sent it out (watched him to see if he would). Soon as it went out I intercepted it, made sure another steak was cooked, buy one of the other coooks on a different grill.

    Ask him to break the grill down, and take a break after he did.

    Asked him if he'd like me to make him steak for his break, he of course said sure... So I heated up his mop water steak and served it to him with a glass of his mop water (didn't let him drink it mind you). As soon as he picked up the glass to drink it I stopped him, telling him what it was.

    He looked at me with that what are you talking about look, I smiled and said I saw what you did with that last steak you cooked, and you're eating it, and the water there is the same water you dropped it in, so... if it's good enough for the customers, it's good enough for you.

    Then I told him he had two options, go to the customer and tell him what he had done or he could quit. Yup he quit.
    10-09-08 08:32 AM
  3. locciola17's Avatar
    ^^^^blkbear - great story and a great way to teach a lesson!! just hope he remembered it!!


    >>my work stories are only funny in hindsight...never in the moment!! and many stories have involved my local PD!!
    10-09-08 05:57 PM
  4. wallyjayrosenberger's Avatar
    those are two great stories! sorry sir we are currently out of dingleberries...lmfao
    10-09-08 07:24 PM
  5. Blkbear's Avatar
    They serve dingleberries at the Baseball park here in Seattle. Their frozen ice cream balls (mini beads actually), like the McDonalds dipin dots. And people look at you funny when you order them, guess the only dingleberries they know of, are the ClingOn type. LOL
    Last edited by BlkBear; 10-13-08 at 09:08 AM.
    10-09-08 07:46 PM
  6. exelant's Avatar
    I was giving a new female employee a tour of our wastewater treatment plant. When condoms go through pumps, they tend to fill with air and float. At the first settling basin, called a grit basin, a bunch of condoms were floating and drifting around and she exclaimed, "Oh look, balloons!"

    She still works there and like the rest of us, she now calls them tubefish.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    10-09-08 07:49 PM
  7. metalwraith's Avatar
    My former terminal manager loaded 3 pallets of hardwood flooring into a 28 foot trailer... no cab attached.. And trailer tipped nose to the ground, with him, 3 pallets and the forklift still inside... Most comical moment yet.
    10-09-08 08:38 PM
  8. morales0416's Avatar
    When I used to work as an office manager way back when, my boss was French with a heavy accent. So one day I'm very busy in the office, he calls me and I put him on speaker phone. Well we share an office this large advertising group, he asking me how to spell F*** You, and I'm like what, I turn up the speaker phone everyone gets quite he says how do F*** you spell F*** You. I was so embarrased and everyone was laughing, well......you had to be there

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    10-09-08 08:55 PM
  9. MadCatUSA's Avatar
    Without going into customer specifics, my neighbor just got a call from a customer who said that his wireless card wouldn't work and this was the second one he's recieved. She did some troubleshooting and asked him if he was getting any error messages from the software. His response was, "What software?" LOL
    10-10-08 12:21 PM
  10. Blue_Snowflakes's Avatar
    When I worked at Home Depot I started as a cashier and I was 18. A customer came through my line one day with some miscellaneous building materials and a few 2x4s. I had to turn the lumber to scan the bar code. After touching it I had sap on my finger. When the customer asked me how my day was going, I responded, "well it was fine until I touched your wood and got my fingers sticky." I was MORTIFIED!

    There was another time I called one of the store managers at my store (I worked at the service desk). It was a slow night so I called the garden manager asking if they sold board stretchers. He told me there was no such thing, we went back and forth about how my friend said home depot had them. Finally the manager said Lowe's probably carries them. While he was on the phone I asked for a left handed hammer, left handed paint roller, and 10' paint stir stick (b/c I wanted to be able to stir my paint from the top of the ladder), and the all infamous caulking. When he called me out by name I got really irritated and told him i didn't know who he was referring to but I was seriously wanting a left handed roller.

    I have so many stories from that place... May they burn in he11.
    Last edited by Blue_Snowflakes; 10-10-08 at 01:42 PM. Reason: add word
    10-10-08 01:39 PM
  11. wallyjayrosenberger's Avatar
    When i was in the army, we would always put the new privates through he11. We used to tell them they had to take exhaust samples from the trucks. To do this we would start them up and while we were revving the engines they whould have to capture the exhaust in a big trash bag. It was always funny to see them up on the truck getting coated with exhaust and carrying around a bag full of it for no real reason.
    10-10-08 06:06 PM
  12. Mister_E's Avatar
    Last shop I worked in one guy was always getting upset at loud noise people whistling etc. So one day second shift sup walks in and at the top of his lungs (he was a big ex-marine mind you) yells "DEEE DAH DEEEEEE" The guy (let's call him fred) walks up to the sup and says "what's that your new dumbass call?" And without missing a beat the sup says "well I don't know fred you seem to be the only one who answered, so yup I guess it is" and then just walked away. I have never seen so many shades of red so quickly.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    10-10-08 08:47 PM
  13. Voltron159's Avatar
    For a little while I was a systems engineering major in college and decided to take an internship job at this very large state government engineering firm. Lets leave it nameless to protect the ignorant... Mind you 80% of the company is some type of engineer. So, my capacity as an intern was maintaining the server room, and tech support. I have a story for later about the server room but this one has to do with a particularly brilliant civil engineer.

    I was reading this list of "funniest tech support calls" and literally 2 days later one happened to me. This civil engineer calls me and says "You need to order me a new coffee mug holder"

    I was confused... I asked him to be more specific. He said "buy me a new coffee cup holder for my computer, mine is busted" I tried to explain that unlike cars, computers dont come with coffee cup holders, and he (sounding as condescending as possible) informed me that I was just a simple intern and should not question him, after all... he's an engineer.

    I went up to his cubicle, and started inspecting his computer, I asked where the coffee mug holder was and he pointed to the cd-rom... I quickly pressed the eject button... nothing... I pressed the little manual eject button (the one yuo need a mechanical pencil to press) nothing...So I take a phillips head screwdriver and get it out. Sure enough the cd-rom tray was covered in sugar, coffee, milk and lord only knows what else.

    Apparently, he has since gone through 6 cd-rom drives.
    10-11-08 05:32 AM
  14. wallyjayrosenberger's Avatar
    For a little while I was a systems engineering major in college and decided to take an internship job at this very large state government engineering firm. Lets leave it nameless to protect the ignorant... Mind you 80% of the company is some type of engineer. So, my capacity as an intern was maintaining the server room, and tech support. I have a story for later about the server room but this one has to do with a particularly brilliant civil engineer.

    I was reading this list of "funniest tech support calls" and literally 2 days later one happened to me. This civil engineer calls me and says "You need to order me a new coffee mug holder"

    I was confused... I asked him to be more specific. He said "buy me a new coffee cup holder for my computer, mine is busted" I tried to explain that unlike cars, computers dont come with coffee cup holders, and he (sounding as condescending as possible) informed me that I was just a simple intern and should not question him, after all... he's an engineer.

    I went up to his cubicle, and started inspecting his computer, I asked where the coffee mug holder was and he pointed to the cd-rom... I quickly pressed the eject button... nothing... I pressed the little manual eject button (the one yuo need a mechanical pencil to press) nothing...So I take a phillips head screwdriver and get it out. Sure enough the cd-rom tray was covered in sugar, coffee, milk and lord only knows what else.

    Apparently, he has since gone through 6 cd-rom drives.
    yet further proof that a higher education does not mean higher intelligence.
    10-11-08 03:00 PM
  15. CON-D's Avatar
    I was taking a hire car booking over the phone from a lady for her colleague. I asked "what's the passenger's name?" She then said "Brian, what's your name?". She then realised her mistake and I had to put her on Hold cause I couldn't stop laughing and while everyone else at work is looking at me funny.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    10-12-08 08:32 AM
  16. anon(52425)'s Avatar
    I apologize if some find this innapropriate. We are all adults...

    So I operate a theatre here in OR and have quite a few stories to share. One in particular...

    Last year we had just hit our slow period and our attendance was low. Kids were in school, summer was over and things were winding down. On one particlar day I was working the projection booth when I noticed 2 young adults in their early twenties in an auditorium. They were full out making out, all over each other. About an hour into the film I was checking the projection equipment when I happened to glance in to the auditorium through the port hole. What do I see? The boy has his girlfriend completely bent over the second to last theatre row chair back and is fully giving it to her. Im talking about full on intercourse. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.I immediately went downstairs and entered the auditorium and they both noticed me. It almost looked like the boy had to get in a bit more before I told them to immediately stop what they were doing. I threatened to call the police if they didn't leave and they quietly left.

    I just couldn't believe what I saw. I have encountered girls giving their boyfriends, husbands, etc giving oral sex but NEVER full on intercourse. It wasn't even like they were trying to hide it and be discreet about it!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    10-12-08 02:34 PM
  17. MadCatUSA's Avatar
    Just remembered an incident when I was in the Army Reserve...
    I was with an Aviation Maintenance unit in TX and we had a new recruit in for weekend drill so we decided to have a little fun with her... We sent her to the supply sergeant for some "flight line"... He sent her back to us for the "left handed spanner wrench" we had "borrowed" from him, we sent her back for some "prop wash"... She was on her way back for the "prop wash" before she caught on! LOL
    10-13-08 08:53 AM
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