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get the cash back rewards on his credit card. He wondered why he would agree to such terms just to get $50 back a year, but he didn't mind very much because he didn't like infidels anyway. Unfortunately for him, however, she could sense what he was going to do, and she used her big rubber nunchucks to beat him near to death, and then fed him to pigs...
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...who refused to eat him because these pigs only ate kosher foods. The man and pigs quickly became friends as they like the way each other smelled. The owner of the farm saw the man rolling around in the mud with the pigs and recognized the man as a terrorist on americas most wanted. He called.........
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In an airstrike and sacrificed his beloved pigs just so that a 2000lb bomb could annihilate the terrorist. With no pigs or terrorist left on his farm, he now had to find another line of work, so he became a
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A rock star and toured the world with his his new band The Blackberry Godz and all the world was a buzz listening to their new song ........
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"i'm a crackheaded berry man baby" which quickly climbed to #50 on the top 100 list on its debut. a new dance craze soon followed after. it can best be described as...
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Drunken staggering around and punching the people around you when they try to help steady you from falling. When someone reacted violently to this dance, however,
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.....they were electricuted from the static electricity that built up from your feet dragging on the carpet from the dancing. The shock shot you through the air and you landed on/at..............
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the feet of the Monkey god, who threw the poo of eternal death and discomfort upon you. You then dissolve and find yourself
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.........washed down a sewer drain where you mutate into a swamp creature. You slither through the drains and into peoples homes where you pop out of the toilet and bite them on the a$$. People are afraid to use the toilets so they must go and use............
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The street and other peoples' unlocked cars, and refrigerators, which clearly annoyed the owners of such things, and caused them to take severe action, and
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.....plug themselves up with corks so they wouldn't have to go to the bathroom. Gases slowly built up until one day nobody could hold it in anymore. A large sonic boom of funk filled the air and corks were flying everywhere. People were in chaos dodging corks and trying to find fresh air. They had to..............
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Put on rain suits and use SCBA's and turn on fans to try to get the vapors to dissipate. This, however didn't work because the fans produced a spark which caused the massive flammable gas cloud to ignite, burning everyone's hair off...
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..forcing everyone to wear bad hair pieces. The Hair Club for Men turned into a huge cult. All men were not just members but also the president. Women decided to leave their heads bald because they liked the feeling of being free with the wind blowing on their scalp. Men did not like this new look and............
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Super glued their own bad hair pieces to their heads while they were asleep. Of course, they weren't aligned quite right but it was definitely better than the other look, according to most of them. Some of the women objected, retaliating by putting nair in their shampoo and body wash...
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......and giving it to the men. All the bad hair pieces were melted one by one because of the nair. One man tried attaching his pubes to his head but it was too itchy. Another man tried wearing a dead raccoon but it started to smell. The men gave up and decided to ................
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...let Donald Trump declare himself the King. And speaking of Trump, he hawt daughter Ivanka decided to go down to Florida during Spring Break week and enter a wet t-shirt contest or two. She won every single one she entered because.....
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her daddy paid the judges to let her win, even though she was being a prude and not buying into the "skin to win" concept. She even wore pasties, because she was so shy. The judges enjoyed their bribes, but the crowd was left wholly unsatisfied, and so they...
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Gathered in the middle of Trumpsvaina Square to tear down the golden Donald Trump idol only to find Ninja warriors were hiding under the golden hair piece.. The Ninja attacked with blinding speed and ruthlessness ...and just when things looked the darkest .. one of the village people switched on a radio.....
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.....station playing YMCA. He started an outbreak of people dancing to the song. Donald Trump bent over to do the C and his hair piece fell off. The sun shined so brightly off his bald head it was blinding people. A panic broke out as people could not see where they were going. Trumps hair piece was lost in the chaos. Trump went..........
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stumbling off into the crowd and finally spotted something that he thought was his hair piece. He quickly grabbed it and stuck it on his head - but it turned out that it wasn't his piece, it was...
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....a hair patch from his daughter's underarms. After almost gagging the Donald....
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Once upon a time there was a girl...............
Who was very mischevious. The last time she got int trouble.....
She found out some months later. When she tried to find the father...
Of the lost puppy she found as she was coming home from work
She stumbled upon a homeless man who wanted her to show her bits. She said...
"please sir, have my peanut butter and jelly sandwich"
He ate it in front of her and burped loudly. She was furious....
She knocked down his card board box and walked away feeling better.
Only to realize it was her long lost brother who....
And before she left, she stole all his MD 2020
She hasn't seen in 20 years. She gives him back his MD 2020 and...
He kisses her passionately. Soon the police arrive and...
Ewwww! They take custody of his feral boy child running around.
... but were forced to release him once they discovered...
he was the secret lover of LiLo who...
...was a material witness in their case ...
As she runs down the street in blinded tears she .....
...ran into a pretzel vendor and burned herself on his...
Hot thongs. Meanwhile her lawyer was...
Sunbathing nekkid while eating tacos and.....
dreaming of pandas in paradise when...
That she never knew the street vendor sold tacos. But she had more important things to worry about as she.....
was trying to launch her metallic lingerie line. Of her various lovers...
she always had a feeling he was the best. She put one of her lingerie creations and...
And for the first time in years felt like the woman and not like ......
... a child trapped by...
Michael Jackson. It was until.....
... Tito showed us in a burlap sack and a pair of flip flops ...
She calls her therapist to try to get in for an immediate appointment.
But he couldn't see her, because Gary Coleman ...
Bite her leg. Then the cops came and....
tackled Gary to the ground, and threatened to put him on another Reality show.
Till they woke up and realized, reality and Gary were like water and oil. Then...
... a shot rang out, a dog yelped, a cat hissed and through an open window came....
a schizophrenic alcoholic with a full bottle of pills in one hand and two unused condoms in the other...
Also carrying half dozen donuts somehow...
the holes of which seemed a tad blemished.
She shook her head to get the fog out, only to realize how hungry she was when she saw the donuts.
Molested as they were, she took a big bite when...
She thought it tasted kind of funky and wondered if that really was custard cream or something else ??????
I thought I'd consolidate these posts for you. You are welcome in advance.
This is just the first page...
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Duck figurine, she wisely removed it from her mouth and placed it on the table before trying to figure out why she had placed it in her mouth in the first place...
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Suddenly Donald starts to dance all around the table, and slowly starts morphing into the body of Pluto with the head of Minnie. It slowly begins to dawn on her that she shouldn't have washed down the Pepperoni and Extra Magic Mushroom Pizza with...
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a pint of bourbon. As the room started to spin, the last thing she remembered was a huge demon standing there staring at her, just one of it's legs was bigger than the empire state building. She started to run, but
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