09-02-08 01:38 PM
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  1. Pete6's Avatar
    I do not wish to dump on the community but I am feeling quite down today. Why?

    My only son (age 24) left Switzerland today with his American wife of 12 months to re-locate from Switzerland to Charlotte, NC.

    He now has his green card and has a very good job with an American multi-national in Charlotte.

    The logical part of my brain says that this is a great opportunity and adventure for a young man and his wife and I really wish them both well but for my wife and I it is going to be hard for a while until we have fully accepted his disapearance from our lives.

    My son was also a good friend and that too makes this harder to bear.

    I shall, of course go and visit them in NC, probably after Christmas.

    It is not out of the question that my wife and I will retire to Charlotte in a few years. I think that this would be a fun adventure for me in retirement.

    Anyway, thanks for listening to my rather self-indulgent ranting.
    09-01-08 02:09 AM
  2. devildoc0612's Avatar
    It's not yet goodbye's... Its just see ya later...Cheer up bud. Hope it all goes well..
    09-01-08 02:18 AM
  3. Pete6's Avatar
    Hey, thanks. I understand that and I am already looking forward to going over.

    I think that when kids finally leave the nest i.e. all parental direct influence the parents are forcibly faced with the fact that their 'baby' (24, 6'1", 210lbs) has now grown up and that a phase in their lives is over.

    Could it just possibly be that I have gotten old. Before today I could say it without meaning it. Now I have to admit it just a leeetle bit.
    09-01-08 02:37 AM
  4. cate's Avatar
    Charlotte, North Carolina is a great place.

    They're in good hands especially with support from loving parents.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    09-01-08 02:54 AM
  5. Pete6's Avatar
    Charlotte, North Carolina is a great place.

    They're in good hands especially with support from loving parents.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    Thanks cate.

    My cynical take on parenthood says:

    "I used to be a climbing frame but now I'm a cash dispenser."

    My kid is a tought cookie with a good business head on his shoulders - better than me and I ain't done too bad. He is also technically competent. I have no worries about him suceeding at all. He will make the right decisions for himself and his wife.

    I think that htos is a great opportunity for him just as coming to Switzerland was for me from the UK some 35 years ago.

    It's just that he's, well-----gone.

    I am not direly depressed about this. I just wanted to talk about it and I thank you all for helping me to do so.
    09-01-08 03:17 AM
  6. exelant's Avatar
    I can see a bit of the future through your eyes, Pete. My Son is ten years younger than yours, but he has a bit of me in him and I was a traveler. I now live a 1000 miles from where I grew up, and I worry he too will go off on his own. I hope I can prepare him as you obviously have with your son.

    I can see the love you have for your boy in your words. I am sad for you because I can put myself in your place. I wish you and your son well. I also know that if my son did leave, I would want to live near him in retirement. Isn't home where your heart is?

    Good luck to you and your family. Please keep us posted about your son and his wife.
    Mike

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    09-01-08 03:40 AM
  7. anon(375378)'s Avatar
    Son 24 yrs old, married, moving to start his career with a good business? Sounds like you did a fine job.

    Congratulations on what appears to be a well raised son. Just sounds like a heavy heart from love and not from stress and strain.

    Head up and chest out! Be proud! You've earned it.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    09-01-08 03:56 AM
  8. oakie's Avatar
    awesome bbq in charlotte.
    09-01-08 04:42 AM
  9. Iphonic's Avatar
    Hello Pete6 & all others,

    I am new to this forum .

    Well, congrats to your Son.
    Wish you join your Son soon in Charlotte
    09-01-08 06:00 AM
  10. jeffkoz's Avatar
    Nice area of the USA. Now to pick a Nascar driver
    09-01-08 06:05 AM
  11. Pete6's Avatar
    I can see a bit of the future through your eyes, Pete. My Son is ten years younger than yours, but he has a bit of me in him and I was a traveler. I now live a 1000 miles from where I grew up, and I worry he too will go off on his own. I hope I can prepare him as you obviously have with your son.

    I can see the love you have for your boy in your words. I am sad for you because I can put myself in your place. I wish you and your son well. I also know that if my son did leave, I would want to live near him in retirement. Isn't home where your heart is?

    Good luck to you and your family. Please keep us posted about your son and his wife.
    Mike

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    They all have to leave the nest sometime.

    My son is a web designer and he has been moved by his company to their HQ from Geneva.

    He is making loads more money and has also been promoted. All good stuff.

    I am really pleased for him and I thouroughly approve of a young man going out to "conquer the world.". This is a great adventure for him and I urged hm to go and have lots of fun AND I meant that.

    If he mkes a success of it and he most likely will, I see Charlotte, NC in my own future now. I'll be 63 just after Christmas so I can really go anytime but I have no intention of chaing my kid round the world.

    I also see lots of golf courses and vintage cars in my future as well a lots and lots of beer.
    09-01-08 06:06 AM
  12. Pete6's Avatar
    awesome bbq in charlotte.
    Well, he'll be there tomorrow morning but I think that he may be a bit tired to party.
    09-01-08 06:07 AM
  13. Pete6's Avatar
    Hello Pete6 & all others,

    I am new to this forum .

    Well, congrats to your Son.
    Wish you join your Son soon in Charlotte
    Welcome to CrackBerry.

    Thanks for your thoughts.
    09-01-08 06:08 AM
  14. Pete6's Avatar
    Nice area of the USA. Now to pick a Nascar driver
    Oh yes. I used to be a big fan of the late Dale Ernhardt. I also used to watch way back in the 1970 when Richard Petty was at his incredible best.

    This too has its attractions. Maybe they will let me drive - dream on, Pete
    09-01-08 06:10 AM
  15. TerryA's Avatar
    Good morning Pete. Yours was the first post I read this morning and it breaks my heart because I know that feeling all too well. They grow up...move on....things change...nothing ever remains the same. You will begin a whole new phase in your life and it DOES take some adjustment...but you seem like a very strong intelligent man who has raised a very strong intelligent son. This too will pass.

    Charlotte NC is one of the greatest areas in NC. I live about 2 hours away in the mountains of NC. It's central to a lot of things. You have the beach about 2 hours away in one direction and the beautiful Smoky mountains about 2 hours away in the other direction. YOU will love it here and I'm sure that you will adjust well in your new role. Best of luck to you and yours.
    09-01-08 06:23 AM
  16. Pete6's Avatar
    Good morning Pete. Yours was the first post I read this morning and it breaks my heart because I know that feeling all too well. They grow up...move on....things change...nothing ever remains the same. You will begin a whole new phase in your life and it DOES take some adjustment...but you seem like a very strong intelligent man who has raised a very strong intelligent son. This too will pass.

    Charlotte NC is one of the greatest areas in NC. I live about 2 hours away in the mountains of NC. It's central to a lot of things. You have the beach about 2 hours away in one direction and the beautiful Smoky mountains about 2 hours away in the other direction. YOU will love it here and I'm sure that you will adjust well in your new role. Best of luck to you and yours.
    Thanks for your careful words Terry. They are much appreciated.

    This thread really is helping me. The old adge of "a problem shared is a problem halved." is working.
    09-01-08 06:26 AM
  17. Pete6's Avatar
    I am going to be off line for a while. I am starting work on the next version of CrackMem and a new utility (also free) that you will love.

    Later dudes and thanks.

    Pete
    09-01-08 06:27 AM
  18. exelant's Avatar
    You're welcome Pete, when you come to the states, come to Colorado. It's not Switzerland, but we have a couple mountains .

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    09-01-08 10:58 AM
  19. oakie's Avatar
    Well, he'll be there tomorrow morning but I think that he may be a bit tired to party.
    you dont need to have a party just to consume food.
    09-01-08 11:03 AM
  20. kitcat72's Avatar
    I'm pretty much in the same position as your son. I am the child, my mother who lives in NZ never stops trying to tempt me home even though she knows that I have better opportunities where I am [UK] and wants the best for me. It still does not stop her wishing I was [or trying to tempt me] closer. It's a trade off, I gain things here, loose things there but it does not mean that I can never go back if and when I change my mind. Also I make the effort by phoning once a week [skype yay!!!] and if your son makes the effort to keep in contact as I am sure you will, it might help to ease your feelings of loss.
    09-01-08 11:15 AM
  21. Pete6's Avatar
    I'm pretty much in the same position as your son. I am the child, my mother who lives in NZ never stops trying to tempt me home even though she knows that I have better opportunities where I am [UK] and wants the best for me. It still does not stop her wishing I was [or trying to tempt me] closer. It's a trade off, I gain things here, loose things there but it does not mean that I can never go back if and when I change my mind. Also I make the effort by phoning once a week [skype yay!!!] and if your son makes the effort to keep in contact as I am sure you will, it might help to ease your feelings of loss.
    Skpe is great. Here in the Geneva area we have a great deal of families who are away from their extended families and in my IT business I have one family that dedicates a PC in Switzerland and the other in Canada 24/7 to Skype. They have coffee together and once I saw them sit down to eat (lunch in Canada, dinner in Geneva) as a family.

    I call my family in the UK at least twice a week. I have done this for 35 years.

    Your problem is greater. NZ is pretty much all or nothing as far as living there or the UK.

    My son will have Skype up and running before the weekend so we will be able to talk as and when we want.

    As aside, he and his wife have taken their two young cats with them on the plane so I am expecting some interesting stories from the trip by tomorrow.
    09-01-08 12:28 PM
  22. kitcat72's Avatar
    Skpe is great. Here in the Geneva area we have a great deal of families who are away from their extended families and in my IT business I have one family that dedicates a PC in Switzerland and the other in Canada 24/7 to Skype. They have coffee together and once I saw them sit down to eat (lunch in Canada, dinner in Geneva) as a family.

    I call my family in the UK at least twice a week. I have done this for 35 years.

    Your problem is greater. NZ is pretty much all or nothing as far as living there or the UK.

    My son will have Skype up and running before the weekend so we will be able to talk as and when we want.

    As aside, he and his wife have taken their two young cats with them on the plane so I am expecting some interesting stories from the trip by tomorrow.
    Skype is so great like that! I'm not sure that my problem is worse than yours; each individuals feelings are really only relative to themselves, I would not say I know how you must feel, but I can empathise with your situation. It's wonderful that he will be set up so quickly and that there is technology that facilitates regular contact that is also cost effective. You sound as if you are coping admirably though.
    09-01-08 01:20 PM
  23. hooversalem9876's Avatar
    Altough your son is moving it sounds like you raised him well. Good job. Look at the bright side this an excuse to get him a berry for communication purposes

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    09-01-08 02:40 PM
  24. Pete6's Avatar
    Altough your son is moving it sounds like you raised him well. Good job. Look at the bright side this an excuse to get him a berry for communication purposes

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    I did my best but had no training for being a parent. Kids seem to raise themselves. All we did was to provide a stable environment in a warm bullet free atmosphere.

    As to giving him a BlackBerry, he is a confirmed Windows Mobile man. I offered to give him a BlackBerry because I had a spare at that time and he made off instead with a Sony Ericsson.

    I just got an SMS saying he had landed in Charlotte and is OK. So, I opened a beer. Cheers.
    09-01-08 03:15 PM
  25. amazinglygraceless's Avatar
    Hey Pete, at least you can feel confident that you and your
    wife gave him the best start possible. Two loving and adoring
    parents. Charlotte is a really nice city. And if he is anything like
    his old man, he'll do well.
    09-01-08 04:32 PM
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