03-04-09 07:54 AM
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  1. RavenMaverick's Avatar
    Later last year I was up late watching tv and my husband had fallen asleep on the couch. I had an awful feeling wash over me. He woke a while later and while we were getting in bed, I mentioned out of the blue that I was going to die. He first asked what was wrong with me, I said nothing and then he told me to quit being stupid. LOL! But I had told the truth. I felt like nothing was wrong,but I couldn't shake the feeling.

    The next day even I forgot about it. Less than a week later I woke up with a dry cough and pain in my chest when I took a deep breath out of the blue. I got my daughter up for school and she asked if I was alright. I jokingly said "I think I have pnuemonia" and laughed.


    The cough and the chest pain got worse all week. Other than that I was fine. On that Saturday I woke up and felt horrible. I layed back down for a few hours, woke up and couldn't walk to the end of my bed without feeling like I was going to pass out from lack of breath. I went to the bathroom, came back out and told my husband I was going to lay down for another few hours and that if I didn't feel better then I would go to the ER.

    I went back and layed down. He came in 30 minutes later and told me to get up, we were going to the er now. I was crying and didn't want to go. I couldn't even make it to the car I was so weak and out of breath.

    Long story long (LOL) I got to the er. My blood pressure was 35 over 40. They wheeled me back instantly. The doc was even nervous (that made me scared). They took an xray, came back and asked if I had implants (I am small on top) I told them if I did then I wasted my money. LOL! The fluid in my lungs had risen so high it made it look like I had implants. They wouldn't even put me in a room because they didn't expect me to make it through the night. I stayed for 8 more days after that. I was lucky. If I had fallen asleep that night and my husband had left me alone, I would not be here today.

    It took me a couple of weeks to remember that night when out of the blue I told my husband I was going to die. It was eerie to say the least.

    I believe a lot of get that sense of foreboding and premonition from time to time. So I want to know if you ever have and if so, what was it, and did it happen?

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-27-09 12:11 AM
  2. Username0223's Avatar
    holy cow-kanga-thats some story...well nice to know your still here today thankfully to your husband!
    02-27-09 04:03 PM
  3. sodakitty's Avatar
    I have. But nothing's ever happened.
    That's crazy though. I'm glad to hear that it turned out all right!!!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-27-09 04:11 PM
  4. CipherDias's Avatar
    Yeah I did tonight when France was leading us in the Rugby with just 2 minutes to go..... Man we lost against FRANCE!!!!
    02-27-09 04:24 PM
  5. SevereDeceit's Avatar
    Glad you are here with us now Kanga...
    02-27-09 04:28 PM
  6. pathymo's Avatar
    Yes, very glad you are here now!

    When I was about 12 I had a dream where I saw a red van smashed in on one side with stuff strewn about all over the road. The road in the dream was a big hill road that was near my house. The next day my mom woke me up to go to my piano lesson, and I got ready and we left. Drove down the hill, came to the usual four way stop (passed a friend on a bike along the way, waived hello). Mom looked both ways, I took a bite of my sandwich, we started going through. The next thing I remember is yelling that I couldn't breath, and my arm hurt.

    After all was said and done, a guy in a truck with no license and no insurance hit the passenger side of my mom's van going 60mph. The van didn't tip or roll, but the side was busted in (as I'm sure you can imagine!), the trunk door was open and all the contents of the car were strewn about the road.

    Those are always such odd days.
    02-27-09 04:52 PM
  7. Username00089's Avatar
    Glad you're ok Kanga. That's quite a story :l

    As for my sense of doom. I don't know why. But I've always had this notion that I will not make it to 30 years old. I really have no reason for thinking this other than, I just feel that way. I'm not part of any doomsday group or like heaven's gate. I think those people are loons. But I don't know. I just feel like I will die before 30 years old. Don't know when or how, but I don't expect to be here 4 years from now.
    02-27-09 06:32 PM
  8. jdoc77's Avatar
    Ok, Kanga... but you never gave us a diagnosis! I'm guessing it wasn't flash pulmonary edema! You can PM me if you don't want to say.
    02-27-09 06:59 PM
  9. SevereDeceit's Avatar
    Ok, so I wasn't going to post this cause i'm SD and I don't do that sh!t. But this is an exception for me, here we go.

    About 8 years ago i was at my house having a few beers and my younger brother, who is 24 now, came home from a party and was drunk like me. My Grandmother who had cancer was living with us at the time and my brother had taken some of her Xanax cause he was at a party and that's what the kids were taking to get high. When he got home he took a few more and his girlfriend came over and i went to bed a short time later. I was woken up by his girlfriend who said my brother was acting funny on the couch. Her ride home was here and she had to go, she wanted me to check on him. When i went downstairs he was completely blue and his lips were purple, he was barely breathing. I then performed CPR and it was not working, i then ran upstairs to my parents bedroom and told them what was going on. My brothers heart had stopped beating and I was breathing for him while we were waiting for the paramedics to arrive. While we were in the waiting room a paramedic came in and said he wanted me to come with him, not my parents. He said your brother is about to die, what did he take, I told him and he said that he would be right back. When he returned he said your brother is alive and will be fine. They gave him the Nar-Can shot to revive him. He is completely fine after this, however this is permenetly etched in my memory forever. I dream about this frequently to this day, his pale blue face, purple lips and limp body as I drug it to the kitchen floor is something that has changed me forever. There it is...
    02-27-09 07:18 PM
  10. rachel0179's Avatar
    Wow.. Sorry SD.. and Kanga, glad you are alright

    I havnt had premonitions or anything but I have seen angels around me one morning a while back during some hard times, and also the night my grandmother died, I felt her hand on the side of my face.
    02-27-09 07:30 PM
  11. SevereDeceit's Avatar
    I believe ya Rachey...
    02-27-09 07:32 PM
  12. RavenMaverick's Avatar
    Ok, Kanga... but you never gave us a diagnosis! I'm guessing it wasn't flash pulmonary edema! You can PM me if you don't want to say.
    No! I thought I put it in there. Sorry. It was pnuemonia. Obviously I had it for a while before I realized it.
    02-27-09 08:18 PM
  13. RavenMaverick's Avatar
    Yes, very glad you are here now!

    When I was about 12 I had a dream where I saw a red van smashed in on one side with stuff strewn about all over the road. The road in the dream was a big hill road that was near my house. The next day my mom woke me up to go to my piano lesson, and I got ready and we left. Drove down the hill, came to the usual four way stop (passed a friend on a bike along the way, waived hello). Mom looked both ways, I took a bite of my sandwich, we started going through. The next thing I remember is yelling that I couldn't breath, and my arm hurt.

    After all was said and done, a guy in a truck with no license and no insurance hit the passenger side of my mom's van going 60mph. The van didn't tip or roll, but the side was busted in (as I'm sure you can imagine!), the trunk door was open and all the contents of the car were strewn about the road.

    Those are always such odd days.
    That's always eerie isn't it? Were you seriously hurt in the accident?

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-27-09 08:26 PM
  14. RavenMaverick's Avatar
    Wow.. Sorry SD.. and Kanga, glad you are alright

    I havnt had premonitions or anything but I have seen angels around me one morning a while back during some hard times, and also the night my grandmother died, I felt her hand on the side of my face.
    I completely believe that! Was it scary or sort of calming/comforting?

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-27-09 08:29 PM
  15. rachel0179's Avatar
    Wasnt scary one bit, didnt even get that *oh no* feeling, I knew what they were when I saw them, and then when I felt that hand, I knew it too.. strange LOL but calming.
    02-27-09 08:30 PM
  16. RavenMaverick's Avatar
    Glad you're ok Kanga. That's quite a story :l

    As for my sense of doom. I don't know why. But I've always had this notion that I will not make it to 30 years old. I really have no reason for thinking this other than, I just feel that way. I'm not part of any doomsday group or like heaven's gate. I think those people are loons. But I don't know. I just feel like I will die before 30 years old. Don't know when or how, but I don't expect to be here 4 years from now.
    Geez! I really hope you are wrong about that. We would miss you here!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-27-09 08:31 PM
  17. RavenMaverick's Avatar
    Ok, so I wasn't going to post this cause i'm SD and I don't do that sh!t. But this is an exception for me, here we go.

    About 8 years ago i was at my house having a few beers and my younger brother, who is 24 now, came home from a party and was drunk like me. My Grandmother who had cancer was living with us at the time and my brother had taken some of her Xanax cause he was at a party and that's what the kids were taking to get high. When he got home he took a few more and his girlfriend came over and i went to bed a short time later. I was woken up by his girlfriend who said my brother was acting funny on the couch. Her ride home was here and she had to go, she wanted me to check on him. When i went downstairs he was completely blue and his lips were purple, he was barely breathing. I then performed CPR and it was not working, i then ran upstairs to my parents bedroom and told them what was going on. My brothers heart had stopped beating and I was breathing for him while we were waiting for the paramedics to arrive. While we were in the waiting room a paramedic came in and said he wanted me to come with him, not my parents. He said your brother is about to die, what did he take, I told him and he said that he would be right back. When he returned he said your brother is alive and will be fine. They gave him the Nar-Can shot to revive him. He is completely fine after this, however this is permenetly etched in my memory forever. I dream about this frequently to this day, his pale blue face, purple lips and limp body as I drug it to the kitchen floor is something that has changed me forever. There it is...

    Wow SD! I won't share too much of this here, but suffice it to say I kind of know how you felt. Only it was my daughter and it didn't turn out as well. Unfortunately the "flashbacks" of you seeing his face and all will never leave you. Ever. If you are like me sometimes right when you are ready to go to sleep, it comes up like a bad movie. Replayed over and over.

    I am really glad it turned out the way it did. I am willing to bet it changed his life too. And not to sound corny, but thanks for sharing. Because I know you are SD and you don't do sh!t like this.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-27-09 08:40 PM
  18. SevereDeceit's Avatar
    You are awesome Kanga, Thank You. You are also correct, the same happens to me too...
    02-27-09 08:42 PM
  19. RavenMaverick's Avatar
    Wasnt scary one bit, didnt even get that *oh no* feeling, I knew what they were when I saw them, and then when I felt that hand, I knew it too.. strange LOL but calming.

    I have gotten that calm feeling before, so I know what you mean.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-27-09 08:43 PM
  20. editionfws's Avatar
    I get this feeling ALOT...I'll post and explain tomorrow

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-27-09 10:43 PM
  21. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Damn, SD and Kanga, the feelings your posts brought back in me!
    The sight of my mother, ash-white, limp on the floor of her shower. Her wrists slit and blood all over her and the tile. I couldn't believe she was alive from the scene before me. She had also downed a bottle of zannies, and was completely unresponsive. If not for the fire station being a block away, I don't know how she would have made it.
    I was 18, my sister was 10. This was the 3rd attempt. I was able to keep my sister from knowing up until then, as the other 2 were OD's. Telling her was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. This time I had to Baker Act her in a desperate attempt to get her turned around. Since she was to be hospitalized for a few months, I asked my grandmother to move in so my sister wouldn't come home to an empty house.
    I told them both they could not even enter that bathroom, but refused to tell them why. For weeks, no matter how much bleach I used, whenever I ran the water in the shower, blood would seep up from under the tile. I thought I was going to completely loose my mind trying to get it clean.
    I had felt that dreaded feeling since her first attempt 2 years prior, just wondering when it would happen again. She seemed better for a while, but progressively slipped back into depression. Her health was deteriorating badly, which didn't help her mental state at all. It seemed like her entire body was revolting, and at the time I thought it to be mostly mental.
    After a couple more years, I had to get away. I knew if I stayed it would be too easy for her to try again, knowing I was right there to finish raising my sister. For several years it was quite depressing to even have a phone conversation with her. It was about 7 years after her 3rd attempt that I started to feel things were turning around. Though her health still continued to fail, she had developed a group of friends, and mentally seemed to be doing quite well. That imminent feeling of doom had faded, though I still hesitated to call her as often as I should of.
    If I'd have paid more attention, I'd have realized after my sister graduated high school, that I should have been more concerned. It wasn't long after that my sister moved out, and my mother finally succeeded.
    I felt so angry at myself for not being more proactive, and confused at the sense of shock. I shouldn't have been surprised, but thought she had gotten past it, though obviously she had not. For the funeral, I was convinced to have an open casket, but the sight of her was more than I could take.
    Since then, the number of people who have passed through my life that spoke of suicide has been amazing. It is with G_d's blessing that I have been able to take from this and help them. At first I thought it just coincidence that they would open up to me, as I almost never bring any of this up with anyone, but it has happened too many times for that. It's taken a long time for me to get to here, but I have to believe it was a gift. My mother was reaching the point where she could no longer enjoy life. I've come to accept that while I might have kept her around longer, in the end her choice was already made. I don't blame her for it, however much I disagree. I believe it to be the ultimate sin against G_d, but pray that He has had compassion on her. If not for the experience, I would never have taken the time to prevent others from making the same mistake. People who had much to live for, and I know for sure would be gone.
    It's so funny. I've always avoided the phone, and abhorred cellphones, but I love my Blackberry. CrackBerry has been a place I can go where I've gotten a lot of support while learning how to use it (I don't think the learning will ever stop). A place where I now can help others out, quite often teaming and scheming to a resolution. It's been a place to escape and have fun with some of the off topic threads, though I must admit to having a bit of fun while helping people too from time to time. I hope they've all realized my jokes were just that, and not an attempt to hurt. Yes, to the curve owner, "The only BB with colored lights that hypnotize is the 8100. Sorry!" was not to be mean. There's been threads with lively debate, where we've flamed and been flamed, but like family are still there for each other. But never in my wildest dreams did I expect to come across a thread like this!
    Thanks so much for taking the time to tell your stories, and letting me share mine with you.
    G_d bless you all. Now, what's the latest on the "I hate" thread...
    02-27-09 11:14 PM
  22. RavenMaverick's Avatar
    Damn, SD and Kanga, the feelings your posts brought back in me!
    The sight of my mother, ash-white, limp on the floor of her shower. Her wrists slit and blood all over her and the tile. I couldn't believe she was alive from the scene before me. She had also downed a bottle of zannies, and was completely unresponsive. If not for the fire station being a block away, I don't know how she would have made it.
    I was 18, my sister was 10. This was the 3rd attempt. I was able to keep my sister from knowing up until then, as the other 2 were OD's. Telling her was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. This time I had to Baker Act her in a desperate attempt to get her turned around. Since she was to be hospitalized for a few months, I asked my grandmother to move in so my sister wouldn't come home to an empty house.
    I told them both they could not even enter that bathroom, but refused to tell them why. For weeks, no matter how much bleach I used, whenever I ran the water in the shower, blood would seep up from under the tile. I thought I was going to completely loose my mind trying to get it clean.
    I had felt that dreaded feeling since her first attempt 2 years prior, just wondering when it would happen again. She seemed better for a while, but progressively slipped back into depression. Her health was deteriorating badly, which didn't help her mental state at all. It seemed like her entire body was revolting, and at the time I thought it to be mostly mental.
    After a couple more years, I had to get away. I knew if I stayed it would be too easy for her to try again, knowing I was right there to finish raising my sister. For several years it was quite depressing to even have a phone conversation with her. It was about 7 years after her 3rd attempt that I started to feel things were turning around. Though her health still continued to fail, she had developed a group of friends, and mentally seemed to be doing quite well. That imminent feeling of doom had faded, though I still hesitated to call her as often as I should of.
    If I'd have paid more attention, I'd have realized after my sister graduated high school, that I should have been more concerned. It wasn't long after that my sister moved out, and my mother finally succeeded.
    I felt so angry at myself for not being more proactive, and confused at the sense of shock. I shouldn't have been surprised, but thought she had gotten past it, though obviously she had not. For the funeral, I was convinced to have an open casket, but the sight of her was more than I could take.
    Since then, the number of people who have passed through my life that spoke of suicide has been amazing. It is with G_d's blessing that I have been able to take from this and help them. At first I thought it just coincidence that they would open up to me, as I almost never bring any of this up with anyone, but it has happened too many times for that. It's taken a long time for me to get to here, but I have to believe it was a gift. My mother was reaching the point where she could no longer enjoy life. I've come to accept that while I might have kept her around longer, in the end her choice was already made. I don't blame her for it, however much I disagree. I believe it to be the ultimate sin against G_d, but pray that He has had compassion on her. If not for the experience, I would never have taken the time to prevent others from making the same mistake. People who had much to live for, and I know for sure would be gone.
    It's so funny. I've always avoided the phone, and abhorred cellphones, but I love my Blackberry. CrackBerry has been a place I can go where I've gotten a lot of support while learning how to use it (I don't think the learning will ever stop). A place where I now can help others out, quite often teaming and scheming to a resolution. It's been a place to escape and have fun with some of the off topic threads, though I must admit to having a bit of fun while helping people too from time to time. I hope they've all realized my jokes were just that, and not an attempt to hurt. Yes, to the curve owner, "The only BB with colored lights that hypnotize is the 8100. Sorry!" was not to be mean. There's been threads with lively debate, where we've flamed and been flamed, but like family are still there for each other. But never in my wildest dreams did I expect to come across a thread like this!
    Thanks so much for taking the time to tell your stories, and letting me share mine with you.
    G_d bless you all. Now, what's the latest on the "I hate" thread...

    Wow BBW. What can I say to this? Sorry doesn't begin to cover. I don't know how you feel. I haven't been in your shoes, and don't know that I would have done as well as you did if I had been. Thanks for sharing and I wish like hades I had something profound and meaningful to say. But I am at a loss and for that I am sorry.

    I never expected this thread to take the turn it did. But I am not sorry it did. I think a lot of us come here everyday, post, joke, flame, pm, but never share anything semi deep with others. It is a BB forum, but it is a forum full of REAL people and sometimes some of us forget that.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-27-09 11:35 PM
  23. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    Nothing needed to be said, but thank you. It was 18 years ago, I'll never get over it, but am determined to be a better man for it. However, some of the things I went through with my daughter...
    02-28-09 12:51 AM
  24. RavenMaverick's Avatar
    I'll never get over it, but am determined to be a better man for it.
    I don't think we are ever supposed to get over things like this. I think we are supposed to learn from and use it. And you being determined to be a better man for it?? Well, that is the difference between you and someone else who lets it ruin, destroy, and fill their lives with hate.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    02-28-09 12:56 AM
  25. BigBadWulf's Avatar
    And you being determined to be a better man for it?? Well, that is the difference between you and someone else who lets it ruin, destroy, and fill their lives with hate.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    I'd already done that with too many things before. Took me a long time to learn I need to do things for me, not because of someone else.
    02-28-09 01:59 AM
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