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Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway...
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends,
if they're okay,
then it's you.07-16-09 09:49 AMLike 0 -
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Why is there 'artificial lemon' flavor in my lemonade but there's 'real lemon' scent in my dish soap?
Having a new kid coming you WILL be asked all these questions with the utmost sincerity!Last edited by bumblesbounce; 07-21-09 at 10:28 AM.
07-16-09 10:04 AMLike 0 -
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Can you cry under water? I think you can, just keep your mouth shut.
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? Very important
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to? Who knows?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? I don't think so
Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Because it is easy that way
What disease did cured ham actually have? IDK
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? Because was moon was more important than people rolling there luggage around
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours? Because they were waking up every two hours
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? Probably called a signing
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Because in tv sounds stupid
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Because it is cool
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway... Because its weird for them to just chill while you are changing
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? Because thats just how it is
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? Because it seems to toast it faster
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? Because he cracks corn
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Because he is a jack ***
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! Because its goofy
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? IDK
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Babys
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Sure
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Sounds like it
Why did you just try singing the two songs above? HAHA
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? Wow idk
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? Most dogs that I have blown in their face they try and kiss me
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? IDK, but they shouldn't
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Because he didnt have a razor
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Because it might hit his head
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Because it's cool
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? Someone cool
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Because we didn't evolve from them
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Because the color disolves and makes bubbles
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? I don't think so
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? Because they are child proof
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? Because they are idiots
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? Because we are trying to stay warm from the cold
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? Because mother in laws suck more
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends,
if they're okay, then it's you.
HAHA It's not me.07-16-09 10:06 AMLike 0 -
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My answers. Some are more scientific than others:
Can you cry under water?
Yes. I think you can generate tears.
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
I think it's less importance than motive. Assassination has political overtones.
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?
The first penny is the thought from the other person, and the second is your thought in response.
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
I thought everyone wore robes in heaven.
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
Because square boxes can be stored more efficiently than round ones.
What disease did cured ham actually have?
Ham is cured before it gets trichinosis.
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Because we used to worry about solving large technical problems with potential large benefits to society, rather than minor annoyances like having to carry a suitcase. Passenger carriers (rail, air, bus, etc.) also used to have a large service staff to provide these services to travelers.
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
Because when babies are actually asleep they are perceived as being calm and peaceful even if they are having raging nightmares.
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
The other people in court can still hear.
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
You are cast in the movie, and then the movie gets shown on TV.
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Because most people are not tall enough to see the tops of things on the ground unless the carry a ladder everywhere they go.
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway...
It's a courtesy in case you don't have clean underwear.
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?
Bra is obviously one item. I think panties can be singular or plural.
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
To be able to ignite pop tarts.
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
There's only one person, I, that doesn't care. The song was obviously written by someone other than I.
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Because he got paid per episode. If he got everyone rescued he'd be out of work.
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
His (Goofy) character requires him to walk erect while filming cartoons. In regular life he walks on all fours.
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
Have you ever been to a restaurant where they had Roadrunner on the menu?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?
Corn oil and vegetable oil are supposed to be used for rubbing down corn and vegetables. No one does that anymore.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
In many cases, yes.
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
According to Wikipedia, yes.
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
I did not.
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window?
Because to dogs, everyone has bad breath, i.e., not dog breath
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
In case the technician pricks themself.
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Because he shaves every day.
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Because TV executives think we are morons.
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
You got me on this one.
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?
Because everyone has lips.
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
The remaining apes knew better.
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Try using a colored light bulb next time you take a bubble bath.
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Mattresses in general no. A specific mattress yes.
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
Because the molecules will not unadhere until they are turned upside down and then right side up.
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
Microscopic bug eggs are placed on the outside of light bulbs by the manufacturer.
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
In the summer, whey do we keep the house as cool as it was in the winter when we complain about the cold. Answer my question and you'll have the answer to yours.
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
You have to watch early family sitcoms for the father in law jokes
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends,
if they're okay,
then it's you.
If you met some of my sane friends, you'd prefer to be mentally ill too.Last edited by wnm; 07-16-09 at 10:51 AM.
07-16-09 10:36 AMLike 0 -
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those were great answers thinkamp and wnm, i think ill just let this one go.Last edited by RobotnumberOne; 07-16-09 at 11:02 AM.
07-16-09 10:55 AMLike 0 -
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if i dont believe in it, will it go away?
like the boogieman?
sorry man, not making fun of you just BORED at work.07-16-09 11:56 AMLike 0 -
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Can you cry under water? Sure. But don't let a nurse shark assist you. Contrary to their namesake, nurse sharks aren't certified nurses.
How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? If you're a political figure, it's assassination. Which means they're slightly LESS important than the average Joe.
Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to? Save the Whales Fund.
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? If that's true, I'm going buck naked.
Why does a round pizza come in a square box? I believe the first pizza box was developed in Fascist Italy. Fascists have a silly sense of humor.
What disease did cured ham actually have? Duh, the swine flu?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? We just HAD to beat the Russians. Besides, who says wheels on luggage is a good idea? It only makes the fatties fatter.
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours? It's because they slept in the "fetal" position.
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? What was that? I can't hear you, I'm deaf. I was physically abused in the ear.
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? Television has "shows", which would be a better correlation to "movie". In either case, "IN" is used in both.
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? Thomas Locke coined the phrase, "People are generally ********." I stand by his assessment.
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway... What doctor are YOU going to? Perv...
Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? Does it matter? Just as long as both are on my bedroom floor by the end of this post, I'm all good.
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? So the horribly charred toast can be used as ninja stars.
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? The real question is how did Corkey (Life Goes On) get his own show?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? Because he was a genius, not a shipwright.
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! Because Walt Disney was a rabid racist and homophobe. Goofy was an easy target.
If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? Because, unlike most Americans, he didn't choose to take the easy way out.
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? Ask the Middle East, they've got their own 11 herbs and spices for that one.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? Obviously, it comes from reality television, no?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? You bet your sweet ***. You can thank Romper Room for that one.
Why did you just try singing the two songs above? No, but I did look through my Magic Mirror.
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? Break down the latin prefixes. And I believe you're looking for atmosphere, troposphere, ionosphere, stratosphere, etc...
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the
window? A better question is why are you blowing in the dog's face? You sicko.
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Not sure. But I get why they used Joe Pesci in Lethal Weapon 2, 3 and 4. Because Leo Getz.
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Because Jane knew better than to cross a bearded Tarzan.
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? He only ducks when Lois Lane is behind him.
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Standard Operating Procedure. In order to die like a man, you must dress like a man. In a related note, I will be dying in a miniskirt and high heels.
Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? Probably the same people who tried biting their ears when they were kids.
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? It's called "Natural Selection" for a reason. If EVERYONE and EVERYTHING was selected, it would just be called, "The Way."
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? White is the combination of all the colors in the visible spectrum, so technically they're whatever color you want them to be.
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? You're killing me Larry!
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? Because it's always "that time of the month" for plastic.
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? Bugs are masters of illusion. Kind of like Houdini, but with wings. Oh and smaller.
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? Because humans were bred to complain constantly, especially those select humans called "females".
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? For the same reason you don't play hopscotch in a minefield. You just don't.
The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends,
if they're okay,
then it's you. I have no excuse.
And now I can sit back and reap the fruits of my labor.Last edited by S7ar Scr3am; 07-16-09 at 12:37 PM.
07-16-09 12:15 PMLike 0 -
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whiskey tango foxtrot x2
and no i do not believe in evolution.. different debate for a different time.07-16-09 02:36 PMLike 0 -
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1. Can you cry under water? - Nope. You have to be able to breath in and out hysterically in order for it to be considered "crying". Otherwise, your eyes would just be watering.
2. How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered? - Probably of significant public importance.
3. Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... But it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to? - People who "put in their 2 cents" usually over elaborate. Therefore, their probably paying you an extra penny for all of the excess.
4. Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity? - I don't think earthly material objects can make it through the cross over. Therefore, everyone would probably just wear the the standard heavenly uniform.
5. Why does a round pizza come in a square box? - Because square boxes are cheaper to make.
6. What disease did cured ham actually have? - Whatever disease raw meat carries.
7. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage? - Because people weren't as lazy back then.
8. Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours? - Because when babies do sleep, they sleep very peacefully.
9. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing? - Yes
10. Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV? - Because TV in ON the air and movies are shown IN a theatre.
11. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground? - Their paying money to see things in a "bird's eye view".
12. Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway... - Because the less a doctor has to see normal everyday people naked, the less disgusting it is for them.
13. Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural? - Not sure, but it's probably the same reason why pants and shorts are both plural.
14. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat? - Because some jerg off would probably sue the manufacterer if they didn't.
15. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him? - Because the song actually says "I don't care" and it was written about the person who doesn't care.
16. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat? - Lack of raw materials (coconut trees don't make very good planks).
17. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! - Yes, but their different breeds.
18. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? - Because not many places serve roadrunner.
19. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from? - Babies...
20. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? - No. Morons come from UCLA (J/K). Lol
21. Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? - Close.....but no.
22. Why did you just try singing the two songs above? - To compare the two melodies in order to answer your question.
23. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt? - Because a hemorroid is obviously inside your hemisphere.
24. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window? - Would you want to smell someone else's stinky breath?
25. Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? - Probably because (in some way) the prisoner's family would be able to sue if they didn't
26. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? - He shaves...
27. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? - Because his diamond hard skin would damage that beautiful gun.
28. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? - Because they obviously weren't the brightest bulbs in the bunch.
29. Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'? - Someone with a great sense of humor.
30. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? - Because our ape ancestors were the first to learn how to use a stick.
31. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? - Because all bubble bath turns to suds and all suds appear to be white.
32. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? - Yes...Christmas Eve.
33. Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? - Eh...not true. Sometimes you get lucky.
34. How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? - How do you think they died?
35. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? - Because it's very uncomfortable when one's body temp drops.
36. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? - Because father-in-laws aren't nagging women.
37. The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends,
if they're okay,then it's you. - Well, everyone already knows that I'm crazy. BTW, this isn't a question.Last edited by 1 2 MaNy; 07-16-09 at 03:44 PM.
07-16-09 03:39 PMLike 0 -
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because the word "bras" is already used to describe a D-bags buddies.Last edited by RobotnumberOne; 09-30-09 at 06:27 PM.
07-16-09 03:49 PMLike 0 -
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- Forum
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Couple Of Questions For You.
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