1. louzer's Avatar
    It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end.
    12-03-12 08:43 PM
  2. louzer's Avatar
    Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
    12-03-12 08:44 PM
  3. louzer's Avatar
    Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
    12-03-12 08:44 PM
  4. louzer's Avatar
    When in doubt, mumble.
    12-03-12 08:45 PM
  5. louzer's Avatar
    If the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
    12-03-12 08:46 PM
  6. sleepngbear's Avatar
    I have done three of these before. I'm not at liberty ot say which ones.
    Only three? Weak.

    12-03-12 08:46 PM
  7. louzer's Avatar
    I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
    12-03-12 08:47 PM
  8. louzer's Avatar
    Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
    12-03-12 08:47 PM
  9. louzer's Avatar
    You're never too old to learn something stupid.
    12-03-12 08:48 PM
  10. louzer's Avatar
    When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
    12-03-12 08:48 PM
  11. louzer's Avatar
    With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
    12-03-12 08:50 PM
  12. louzer's Avatar
    To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
    12-03-12 08:50 PM
  13. louzer's Avatar
    If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?
    12-03-12 08:51 PM
  14. louzer's Avatar
    Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has obviously never stepped on one.
    12-03-12 08:52 PM
  15. louzer's Avatar
    Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
    12-03-12 08:52 PM
  16. sleepngbear's Avatar
    I laughed so inappropriately hard at this.
    Did you blow milk out your nose? It's really cool when you laugh so hard you blow milk out your nose. Especially if you were drinking soda at the time.
    12-03-12 08:53 PM
  17. jafobabe's Avatar
    This one is a middbrew creation. I just added the batteries and 'jelly' to complete the delivery.
    Attachment 127200
    Discuss among yourselves.
    We can only choose ONE???
    middbrew, louzer, bungaboy and 4 others like this.
    12-03-12 08:56 PM
  18. louzer's Avatar
    12-03-12 08:59 PM
  19. louzer's Avatar
    I just can't choose?!?!?
    bungaboy, jafobabe, Engire and 4 others like this.
    12-03-12 09:08 PM
  20. louzer's Avatar
    We can only choose ONE???
    Au contaraire. It's a package deal.
    bungaboy, jafobabe, Engire and 4 others like this.
    12-03-12 09:10 PM
  21. louzer's Avatar
    By the way, congrats to middbrew for becomming the top poster in this thread!!!!!
    bungaboy, jafobabe, Engire and 4 others like this.
    12-03-12 09:11 PM
  22. jafobabe's Avatar
    Fun things to do at work:

    1. Totally Ignore the first five people who say "Good Morning" to you.

    2. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye".

    3. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

    4. When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "mmmmmm, that feels soooo good!"

    5. Leave your fly's open for one hour. If anyone points it out say, "Sorry I really prefer it this way, it lets the smell out".

    6. In the middle of a meeting, suddenly shout out YAHTZEE".

    7. Walk sideways to the photocopier, crab style.

    8. Say to your manager, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers.

    9. Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, cause I don't want to repeat it".

    10. Press the "no cup option" on the coffee machine, kneel down and drink directly from the nozzle.

    11. At the end of a meeting, suggest that for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the National Anthem (extra respect if you actually launch into it yourself).

    12.Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch off & on 10 times.

    13. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak with as "Barbara"

    14. After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in, "the report's on your desk, Mon". Keep this up for 1 hour.

    15.In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up dammit, all of you just shut up".
    16. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God as my witness, I will never go hungry again".

    17.In a colleague's diary, write in 10:00 am; "see how I look in tights".

    18.Carry your keyboard over to your colleague, and ask, "do you want to trade?"

    19.Come to work in army camoflauge and when asked why, say,"I can't talk about it".

    20. Hang a 2 foot long piece of toilet paper from the back of your trousers, and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

    21. Disappear into the toilets and emerge with your trousers over your head, then commence a 2 minute sprint around the office whilst holding your hands out to your side and making aeroplane noises. Return back to the toilets, get dressed again and return quietly to your seat as if nothing had happened.
    I've done #15 quite a few times..... it was FUN!!
    louzer, bungaboy, Engire and 4 others like this.
    12-03-12 09:13 PM
  23. bungaboy's Avatar
    By the way, congrats to middbrew for becomming the top poster in this thread!!!!!
    Give that midd a bong.
    louzer, jafobabe, Engire and 4 others like this.
    12-03-12 09:19 PM
  24. reeneebob's Avatar
    Same with me. Used to wear a very small gold ring in my ear back in the early-mid '70s. Very conservative by today's standards.

    As for tats . . . I'm too purdy too mess up. ha ha ha ha . . . . there goes sputter splattin on the screen again. Whoot 3 times today.
    I have 4 ear piercings. Two on the regular bottom lobe both sides and 2 about a half inch up the lobe on both sides. I had one in my right ear high up in the cartilage but I took it out for the wedding and never put it back it. I had been getting headaches and realized it was wearing a headset at work for 10 hours a day pressing the earring into my glasses and pushing into my head.

    I've thought about trying to force it back through though, it was there for about 7 years so I don't the cartilage would have sealed yet.

    Sent from my SGH-I747M using Tapatalk 2
    louzer, Engire, kbz1960 and 3 others like this.
    12-03-12 09:24 PM
  25. louzer's Avatar
    Give that midd a bong.
    Or just large rolling papers.
    The CB 1M post Challenge!-cheech-chong-up-smoke.jpg
    jafobabe, Engire, bungaboy and 4 others like this.
    12-03-12 09:24 PM
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