1. louzer's Avatar
    Squeeeeeeeeee! Ok remember when I got new glasses a few weeks ago? A different place was having an amazing back to school sale. I went in to see if they had what I really wanted. Sho nuff, they did. I'm getting a pair of Oakley's with transition lenses for $300 off retail! And I was able to return my new pair, and so the Oakley's will only run me about $300 out of pocket. I think I will celebrate with that Johnnie Walker tonight!
    I see what you did there. Pics or it didn't happen.

    (This is officially the first time that I've been able to use both in the same post)
    08-19-12 06:36 PM
  2. louzer's Avatar
    This guy is awesome. I hope they can mass-produce these before my heart's too old to take it.

    Hey! Are those Google Glasses that he's wearing?
    08-19-12 06:37 PM
  3. amazinglygraceless's Avatar
    The stupid stuff I find on Youtube (but I do love the Gregory Brothers )

    louzer, bungaboy, Engire and 5 others like this.
    08-19-12 06:42 PM
  4. h20work's Avatar
    Can we pleeeeeease not get this thread locked?? It all goes downhill once blanket generalizations and name calling starts.
    This thread can't get locked, I'm counting on it to help me maintain my sanity while I'm stuck in a hotel for the next 3 weeks
    bungaboy, louzer, Engire and 5 others like this.
    08-19-12 06:44 PM
  5. louzer's Avatar

    After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target.

    Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse.

    Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target:

    Dear Mrs. Harris ,

    Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behaviour and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris , are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

    1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

    2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

    3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.

    4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

    5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on lay-by.

    6.. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

    7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.

    8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called.

    9... September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were..

    11... October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

    12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

    13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

    14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!

    15.. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room?

    And last, but not least:

    16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

    One of the clerks passed out.

    The General Manager
    Target Stores
    Wow. A little late to the party, but what a quality entracne. Personally, I can't wait to try #16.
    08-19-12 06:46 PM
  6. madman0141's Avatar
    Is it the red kind??? With cool whip???
    It's is the red kind and I got a full tup of Cool Whip I brought enough for everyone during lunch break.
    08-19-12 06:54 PM
  7. anon(3641385)'s Avatar
    Paddy's chat up lines:

    1. Did ya fart? 'Cos ya just blew me away!

    2. Are your parents challenged? 'Cos your special!

    3. My love for you is like diarrhoea. I just cant hold it in!

    4. Is there a mirror in your knickers? 'Cos I can see myself in them!

    5. Your body reminds me of a spanner. Everytime I think of you my nuts tighten up!

    6. You might not be the best looking girl in here, but beauty is only a light switch away!

    PS : they're so bad aren't they????
    Last edited by Heavens1; 08-19-12 at 07:02 PM.
    08-19-12 06:55 PM
  8. anon(3641385)'s Avatar
    Wow. A little late to the party, but what a quality entracne. Personally, I can't wait to try #16.
    Lol, number 13 is my favourite!!!

    But ... I can picture someone doing each one of them!!!!

    (PS - I think there's a moral there )
    08-19-12 07:00 PM
  9. madman0141's Avatar
    Pants Penguin this is for you OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH YYYYYYYeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhh!!!
    08-19-12 07:02 PM
  10. madman0141's Avatar
    It's dangerous when the Kool Aid man.needs an AK-47.
    08-19-12 07:03 PM
  11. h20work's Avatar
    Is it the red kind??? With cool whip???
    There's always room for jello!

    I miss these...
    08-19-12 07:04 PM
  12. h20work's Avatar
    I found my fireworks stash that I was saving for the new year but now I'm going to light them up and start screaming "5000 BABY!" when we reach 5000 posts.

    My neighbors are going to be like

    Click to view quoted image
    I've always been more of an astros fan. Any team named after a delicious treat is alright in my book
    08-19-12 07:11 PM
  13. h20work's Avatar
    I'm suddenly feeling very patriotic right now...
    08-19-12 07:14 PM
  14. qbnkelt's Avatar
    That be fruitful and multiply passage in the Bible is apparently where they stopped reading
    Incidentally, they have a total of 12.
    Yah....I shut the factory down at 3.

    But I can play aaaaaaallllllll I want.....
    08-19-12 07:35 PM
  15. h20work's Avatar
    08-19-12 07:37 PM
  16. h20work's Avatar
    Yikes, tried to edit that before I posted it....
    bungaboy, Engire, louzer and 5 others like this.
    08-19-12 07:40 PM
  17. h20work's Avatar
    08-19-12 07:46 PM
  18. h20work's Avatar
    I hate cleaning....
    Last edited by h20work; 08-19-12 at 07:53 PM.
    bungaboy, louzer, Engire and 5 others like this.
    08-19-12 07:50 PM
  19. pantlesspenguin's Avatar
    That reminds me, when I sign off on my bonus every few months, my supervisor drops the forms by my desk and takes a little too much pleasure in saying "Just stick it in my box when you're ready."
    08-19-12 07:55 PM
  20. bungaboy's Avatar
    They don't have guns in Canada?
    No handguns or automatics.

    The guvmint tried to make so hard with paperwork the farmers resorted to slingshots.

    Me got an old plinker 22 and a 12 gauge pump that's never been fired in 15 or 20 years. LoL
    08-19-12 07:55 PM
  21. h20work's Avatar
    That reminds me, when I sign off on my bonus every few months, my supervisor drops the forms by my desk and takes a little too much pleasure in saying "Just stick it in my box when you're ready."
    I laughed a little to hard at that. Thanks
    08-19-12 07:58 PM
  22. qbnkelt's Avatar
    More True Blood nekkid people, guys!!!!!!!!

    I'm going to bed, enjoy for me...

    back pain is killing me
    08-19-12 08:07 PM
  23. bungaboy's Avatar
    Here are my new glasses: OKCALIPER - by Oakley - LensCrafters

    Can you tell I'm just a wee bit excited?? I can't wait to get them!
    Ear socks. Are they like a peter warmer? :-)
    08-19-12 08:09 PM
  24. louzer's Avatar
    The bad thing about getting new awesome glasses? I returned the most recent pair, right, so now I'm back wearing my old pair. This is my old prescription, and the non glare coating has gotten a bit smeary since this pair is rather old. After about 4 weeks in a spanking new pair of glasses, this is torture. I'm going to Arizona on Thursday, and I can only hope my new pair will be ready by then. The transition lenses will come in mighty handy there. Plus, you know, my current prescription will allow me to see correctly.
    Except if you cover them with beer goggles.
    08-19-12 08:15 PM
  25. h20work's Avatar
    This is basically what I do, except on boats and stuff

    08-19-12 08:17 PM
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