[louzer]

...so I jumped off the table and ran to the phone to call the optometrist, since i'd basically been given permission....but my mother ran in the room and....

...tripped over the chair that she couldn't really see.

[pantlesspenguin]

Anyone else notice how sexed up things get when Q is around?

[Sith_Apprentice]

Anyone else notice how sexed up things get when Q is around?

+5000

10char

[louzer]

Anyone else notice how sexed up things get when Q is around?

Political correctness goes out the door when Q comes inuendo.

[TheScionicMan]

I'm more of a "serenity now" kinda guy...

I'm more of a Sig Sauer kind of of guy.

They actually go well together!

[YT]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlZvY_LXJco[/YT]

Luckily, my current arsenal only contains a Daisy and a Crossman...

[sleepngbear]

...so I jumped off the table and ran to the phone to call the optometrist, since i'd basically been given permission....but my mother ran in the room and....

...said doctor,
is there something I can take
she said doctor
to relieve this belly ache

You put the lime in the coconut and drink dem both together,
put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better!

[sleepngbear]

Serenity now, insanity later.

[drjay868]

Anyone else notice how sexed up things get when Q is around?

That's funny coming from the one sans pants....

[Sith_Apprentice]

Serenity now, insanity later.

Click to view quoted image

Why wait? Insanity now!

[Sith_Apprentice]

That's funny coming from the one sans pants....

hey pantless didnt say she minded one bit... lol

[pantlesspenguin]

hey pantless didnt say she minded one bit... lol

Exactly .

[Sith_Apprentice]

Exactly .

Rule 1 of 5000 (Draft)

All must remain pantless when entering and during their stay in the thread. It is their discretion to wear them when exiting.



All in favor?

[TheScionicMan]

This is NOT a counting UP thread...

[pantlesspenguin]

Rule 1 of 5000 (Draft)

All must remain pantless when entering and during their stay in the thread. It is their discretion to wear them when exiting.



All in favor?

Aye

10charsnotwearingpants

[TheScionicMan]

Uncle Ben's To Compete Against Apple With Brand-New Smartphone

HOUSTON—Hoping to boost profits by cutting into the valuable market share currently occupied by Apple's popular iPhone 4S, top American rice manufacturer Uncle Ben’s announced plans Tuesday to release its first-ever smartphone.

Uncle Ben's, a company traditionally known for producing white, whole-grain brown, and flavored rices, confirmed a Nov. 23 launch date for its new "Basmati" phone, a 4G-capable device expected to serve as the brand’s flagship product as the company makes its entry into the lucrative mobile technology sector.

"Whether it's instant rice, country-style rice, boil-in-a-bag rice, or smartphones, Uncle Ben’s has always been committed to innovation," a statement from the company read in part. "In 1942, we introduced the world to easy-to-cook parboiled rice. Today, we wish to introduce you to a new vision, one in which people can cook up some Uncle Ben's on the stove and, at the same time, be on their Basmati browsing our marketplace for some new apps and texting their friends with our Instant Rice Messenger."

"Our customer base is increasingly young, connected, and on the go," the statement continued, "and we're uniquely positioned to become the only company in America to simultaneously offer international phone service, Internet access, GPS, broccoli rice au gratin, and MP3 downloads of top recording artists."

As first reported by TechCrunch and the USA Rice Council, the Basmati will feature a 5.3-inch display with a density of 285 pixels per inch, a dual-core 1.5 gigahertz processor, and two gigabytes of RAM, as well as a "robust set of entertainment features" that includes a rear-mounted 8-megapixel autofocus camera, dozens of preloaded stir-fry recipes, and Adobe Flash support.

In addition, the Basmati will run on Uncle Ben’s proprietary Long-Grain Operating System, a platform designed to optimize graphics performance and speed using processes that, according to technical specifications released by the rice producer, "are entirely gluten-free."

MORE:
Uncle Ben's To Compete Against Apple With Brand-New Smartphone | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

[louzer]

Uncle Ben's To Compete Against Apple With Brand-New Smartphone



MORE:
Uncle Ben's To Compete Against Apple With Brand-New Smartphone | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

There's a certain style and attitude that is distinctly The Onion. Considering how long they've been around, they haven't lost their edge. They are probably responsible for at least 5000 lols/rofls by me over the years.

[hootyhoo]

Uncle Ben's To Compete Against Apple With Brand-New Smartphone



MORE:
Uncle Ben's To Compete Against Apple With Brand-New Smartphone | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

I'd bet it gets released before bb10.

[drjay868]

Uncle Ben's To Compete Against Apple With Brand-New Smartphone



MORE:
Uncle Ben's To Compete Against Apple With Brand-New Smartphone | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

LOL... the IRM, "dozens of preloaded stir-fry recipes, and Adobe Flash support", and "the Basmati will run on Uncle Ben’s proprietary Long-Grain Operating System" really got me chuckling.

[drjay868]

I'd bet it gets released before bb10.

Oh, you just had to go there...

[hootyhoo]

Oh, you just had to go there...

Oh come on, someone had to do it.

[louzer]

Repeat 100 times...

"Just slip out the back Jack.
Make a new plan, Stan.
No need to be coy, Roy.
Just listen to me.
You hop on the bus, Gus.
No need to discuss much.
Just drop of the key, Lee.
And get yourself free."

[anon(1308230)]

Wow twinsies! After I got my glasses I thought to myself "I should dye my hair!" And I did!

New glasses and hair:

Click to view quoted image

Digging the combo Such a statement pair of specs!

[h20work]

What's this blackberry 10 thing people keep talking about?

[drjay868]

Rule #2

What you've just said must be one of the most insanely idiotic things anyone has ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response must you even come close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this thread must laugh at your absurdness for having read it. You must strive for "likes", and may God have mercy on your soul.

[h20work]

I've spent way too much time today playing with my caulk...