1. bungaboy's Avatar
    Well now that we are talking drinking and music . . . .

    [YT]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBrnAFoNJXs&feature=related[/YT]
    drjay868, Engire, wu-wei and 4 others like this.
    07-26-12 09:22 AM
  2. bungaboy's Avatar
    07-26-12 09:43 AM
  3. drjay868's Avatar
    Well now that we are talking drinking and music . . . .

    Surprised you didn't go here....

    [YT]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fX7FIHQwY9w[/YT]

    Or here...

    [YT]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1vRvW3QUys[/YT]
    bungaboy, kbz1960, Engire and 5 others like this.
    07-26-12 09:51 AM
  4. drjay868's Avatar
    On a side note, is Pat Dailey popular outside N Ohio and Lake Erie's surrounding states?
    Last edited by drjay868; 07-26-12 at 10:05 AM.
    Engire, wu-wei, Lendo and 3 others like this.
    07-26-12 09:58 AM
  5. louzer's Avatar
    First pepperpot: What's that on the tellevision then?
    Second Pepperpot: Looks like a penguin.
    First Pepperpot: No, no, no, I didn't mean what's on the television set, I meant what programme.
    Second Pepperpot: Oh.
    Second Pepperpot: It's funny that penguin being there innit? What's it doing there?
    First Pepperpot: Standing.
    Second Pepperpot: I can see that!
    First Pepperpot: If it lays an egg, it will fall down the back of the television set.
    Second Pepperpot: We'll have to watch that. Unless it's a male.
    First Pepperpot: Ooh, I never thought of that.
    Second Pepperpot: Yes, looks fairly butch.
    First Pepperpot: Per'aps it's from next door.
    Second Pepperpot: Penguins don't come from next door, they come from the Antarctic.
    First Pepperpot: Burma.
    Second Pepperpot: Why did say Burma?
    First Pepperpot: I panicked.
    Second Pepperpot: Oh. Perhaps it's from the zoo.
    First Pepperpot: Which zoo?
    Second Pepperpot: How should I know which zoo? I'm not Doctor bloody Bernowski.
    First Pepperpot: How does Doctor Bernowski know which zoo it came from?
    Second Pepperpot: He knows everything.
    First Pepperpot: Oooh, I wouldn't like that, that'd take all the mystery out of life. Anyway, if it came from the zoo, it would have 'property of the zoo' stamped on it.
    Second Pepperpot No it wouldn't. They don't stamp animals 'property of the zoo'. You can't stamp a huge lion.
    First Pepperpot: They stamp them when they're small.
    Second Pepperpot: What happens when they moult?
    First Pepperpot Lions don't moult.
    Second Pepperpot: No, but penguins do. There, I've run rings around you logically.
    First Pepperpot: Oh, intercourse the penguin.
    TV Announcer: It's just gone 8 o'clock and time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode.
    First Pepperpot: How did he know that was going to happen?!
    TV Announcer: It was an inspired guess. And now...
    bungaboy, drjay868, Engire and 5 others like this.
    07-26-12 10:49 AM
  6. louzer's Avatar
    I ALMOST feel bad for doing this...

    Thanks pal! It only took me 10 years to get that song out of my head and now it's back!
    bungaboy, Engire, wu-wei and 4 others like this.
    07-26-12 10:55 AM
  7. louzer's Avatar
    I only have experienced Canadian zombies and am unaware if I have encountered any Swiss ones. Those Swiss zombies must be bad azz.
    Yes. They carry sharp knives and are never late.
    kbz1960, bungaboy, Engire and 5 others like this.
    07-26-12 10:58 AM
  8. h20work's Avatar
    I almost forgot that today is stupid joke day.

    So this therapist decides to have a party for his patients. He sends out the invites and tells everyone to come dressed as their favorite emotion. The night of the party, the first guest shows up dressed from head to toe in green. The therapist says "I get it, you're green with envy!" Next, a woman shows up all in red. "Easy, you're anger." Next a guy shows up completely naked except for a pear tied to his junk. The therapist thinks for while.... Finally he says "I just don't get it, what the heck are you supposed to be?" The guest replies "C'mon Doc, it's easy. I'm f*cking despair..."
    Last edited by h20work; 07-26-12 at 11:32 AM.
    07-26-12 11:15 AM
  9. pantlesspenguin's Avatar
    A chicken and an egg are laying in bed together. The chicken is all laid back with a satisfied smirk across his beak, smoking a cigarette. The egg, on the other hand, is pi$$ed off. She's turned away from the chicken with her arms folded across her chest. Afer a few moments she sighs, turns to the chicken, and says..................










    Well that answers THAT question!!
    bungaboy, louzer, h20work and 8 others like this.
    07-26-12 11:30 AM
  10. h20work's Avatar
    I was sad because I didn't have a girlfriend......

    Until I met a man with no arms....
    louzer, bungaboy, drjay868 and 7 others like this.
    07-26-12 11:36 AM
  11. pantlesspenguin's Avatar
    One day while on patrol a police officer pulled over a car for speeding.

    He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window.

    The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car was how hot the driver was! Drop dead blonde the works.

    Ive pulled you over for speeding mame..could I see your drivers license?

    Whats a license??? replied the blonde. instantly giving away the fact that she was as a stump.

    Its usually in your wallet replied the officer.

    After fumbling for a few minutes the driver managed to find it. Now may I see your registration!!! Asked the cop.

    Registration.whats that?asked the blonde.

    Its usually in your glove compartment said the cop impatiently after some more fumbling she found the registration. Ill be back in a minute..

    the cop said and walked back to his car. The officer phoned into the dispatch to run a check on the womans license and registration.

    After a few moments the dispatcher came back. Ummm is this woman driving a red sports car.

    Yes.Replied the officer.

    Is she a drop dead gorgeous blonde? asked the dispatcher.

    UhYes replied the cop.

    Heres what you do..said the dispatcher.

    Give her stuff back and drop your pants.

    WHAT!!!?Icant do that. Its ..inappropriate..exclaimed the cop.

    Trust me.Just do it..said the dispatcher.

    So the cop goes back to the car gives back the license and registration and drops his pants, just as the dispatcher said.

    The blonde looks down and sighs.. Ohh nonot ANOTHER breathalyzer.
    h20work, louzer, kbz1960 and 7 others like this.
    07-26-12 11:36 AM
  12. louzer's Avatar
    I almost forgot that today is stupid joke day.

    So this therapist decides to have a party for his patients. He sends out the invites and tells everyone to come dressed as their favorite emotion. The night of the party, the first guest shows up dressed from head to toe in green. The therapist says "I get it, you're green with envy!" Next, a woman shows up all in red. "Easy, you're anger." Next a guy shows up completely naked except for a pear tied to his junk. The therapist thinks for while.... Finally he says "I just don't get it, what the heck are you supposed to be?" The guest replies "C'mon Doc, it's easy. I'm f*cking despair..."
    I heard it slightly differently.
    ..Next two guys show up completely naked. The first has a pear tied to his junk. The second one is swirling his junk in a bowl of custard. The therapist thinks for a while... Finally he says "I just don't get it. What the heck are you supposed to be?".

    The first one replies: "I am in despair" and the second one replies, "and I'm f*cking disgusted.".
    h20work, bungaboy, Engire and 5 others like this.
    07-26-12 11:37 AM
  13. bungaboy's Avatar
    I almost forgot that today is stupid joke day.

    So this therapist decides to have a party for his patients. He sends out the invites and tells everyone to come dressed as their favorite emotion. The night of the party, the first guest shows up dressed from head to toe in green. The therapist says "I get it, you're green with envy!" Next, a woman shows up all in red. "Easy, you're anger." Next a guy shows up completely naked except for a pear tied to his . The therapist thinks for while.... Finally he says "I just don't get it, what the are you supposed to be?" The guest replies "C'mon Doc, it's easy. I'm f*cking despair..."
    Next guy shows up completely naked except for a potato impaled on his _ _ _ _ _. The therapist thinks for while.... Finally he says "I just don't get it, what the *@!% are you supposed to be?" The guest replies "C'mon Doc, it's easy. I'm a Dictator."
    07-26-12 11:38 AM
  14. amazinglygraceless's Avatar
    Holy crap, the math homework they give 3rd graders here for the summer is
    off the mofo chain. Be back in an hour OR my niece will disown me for being a dolt.

    I don't think I can convince her the answer to every question is, wait for it.....









    wait for it............














    5000
    07-26-12 11:39 AM
  15. pantlesspenguin's Avatar
    Mickey and Minnie Mouse go to the marriage counselor. The counselor sees both separately, starting with Minnie. He sees her for an hour, and then it's Mickey's turn.

    "Well, Mickey. I understand from our conversation the other day that you wanted counseling for the two of you because you were concerned Minnie might be going crazy. Well, from my time with her, I really don't see any indication of that."

    Frustrated, Mickey replies...............






    "No, Doc! I didn't say she was CRAZY, I said she was FVCKING GOOFY!!!"
    07-26-12 11:40 AM
  16. h20work's Avatar
    And brunette goes to the doctor. Doctor asks what's wrong, she replies "It hurts when I touch my forehead, my elbow, and my knee". Doctor says "are you blonde?", she gets a little pi$$y and says "yes, but I don't see what that has to do with anything!"


    Doctor says "your finger is broken....."
    07-26-12 11:47 AM
  17. Sith_Apprentice's Avatar
    And brunette goes to the doctor. Doctor asks what's wrong, she replies "It hurts when I touch my forehead, my elbow, and my knee". Doctor says "are you blonde?", she gets a little pi$$y and says "yes, but I don't see what that has to do with anything!"


    Doctor says "your finger is broken....."
    Ive heard this one, its a classic haha
    h20work, Engire, wu-wei and 4 others like this.
    07-26-12 11:50 AM
  18. h20work's Avatar
    I'm debating whether to post this one or not. Its kinda offensive

    Two spermatozoa are swimming along in a girl's body. First one looks at the 2nd one and says" man, we've been swimming for ever. How far is it to the darn uterus?"

    2nd one says "uterus??? We aint even past the esophagus yet...."
    07-26-12 11:57 AM
  19. drjay868's Avatar
    Since we've already discussed both of these topics, I think its only fitting...

    louzer, bungaboy, Engire and 5 others like this.
    07-26-12 12:02 PM
  20. pantlesspenguin's Avatar
    I'm debating whether to post this one or not. Its kinda offensive

    Two spermatozoa are swimming along in a girl's body. First one looks at the 2nd one and says" man, we've been swimming for ever. How far is it to the darn uterus?"

    2nd one says "uterus??? We aint even past the esophagus yet...."
    I've heard that one. Ha!!
    h20work, Engire, wu-wei and 4 others like this.
    07-26-12 12:06 PM
  21. Sith_Apprentice's Avatar
    I'm debating whether to post this one or not. Its kinda offensive

    Two spermatozoa are swimming along in a girl's body. First one looks at the 2nd one and says" man, we've been swimming for ever. How far is it to the darn uterus?"

    2nd one says "uterus??? We aint even past the esophagus yet...."
    LMAO this one I have not heard. hahah
    Engire, wu-wei, Lendo and 3 others like this.
    07-26-12 12:12 PM
  22. drjay868's Avatar
    An big-city business man is in Ireland on business and decides to go to an authentic Irish pub and have a drink. So, he finds a small neighborhood pub, sits at the bar,and orders a beer and whiskey.

    After a few sips of his drink, a haggard old man drinking in the corner walks up to the business man and says "Hay, ye see that fence over there?" as he points out the window. "Ah built it with me own two hands! Dug up the holes with me shovel, chopped doon the trees for the posts me ownself, laid every last rail! But do they call me 'McGregor the Fence-Builder?' No..."

    And the old man walks back to his seat in the corner. After a few minutes, the old man walks back up to the business man at the bar, after ordering another drink.

    He gulps down the whiskey and orders another. "Ye see that pier on the loch?" He continues, pointing out an opposite window, "Ah built it me ownself, too. Swam oot into the loch to lay the foondations, laid doon every single board! But do they call me 'McGregor the Pier-Builder?' No."

    "But ye fu*k ONE goat...."
    07-26-12 12:18 PM
  23. h20work's Avatar
    Bill, Jim, and Ted decide to head up to the lake to do some fishing. They load up the load up the boat with the gear and a cooler full of beer. After several hours of drinking and baking in the hot sun, they all fall asleep. After a while Bill wakes up and notices that Ted isn't it the boat. He wakes up Jim, and they jump in the water to look for thei r buddy. 20 mins later Jim says "I found him!" and they pull him back aboard. Jim starts giving him mouth to mouth and says "man, I don't remember Ted having such bad breath!" Bill says "yeah, and I don't remember him wearing a snowmobile suit"....
    07-26-12 12:23 PM
  24. kbz1960's Avatar
    A koala walks into a house of ill repute and says I want the best hooker and a room.

    The establishment directs the koala to room 23 where the most beautiful hooker is waiting.

    The koala commences to do his thing, finishes and is headed for the door.

    The hooker says, hey wait you need to pay me.

    The koala says I'm a koala I'm leaving.

    The hooker says you don't understand. You need to pay me for my services.

    The koala says I'm a koala I'm leaving.

    Getting frustrated the hooker finds a dictionary and shows the koala. Hooker, person who does sexual favors for pay. See, you need to pay me.

    The koala grabs the dictionary and shows the hooker. Koala, eats bushes, shoots and leaves.
    07-26-12 12:31 PM
  25. drjay868's Avatar


    I don't really know what to say about this.... but I like it.
    kbz1960, louzer, bungaboy and 6 others like this.
    07-26-12 12:38 PM
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