[thinkamp]

Well some off my good CB friends know that I have recently ended a very long and drawn out relationship. I decided I want to create a thread for people going to through break-ups/have been through bad break-ups/how they got through their tough break-up!

Sorry this is like a novel, but here is my story:

It started the summer of 2007. I met him and I just thought he would be around forever. We dated through the summer, but he got really bad into drugs and his parents gave him the choice to move to Mississippi and get his life together or move out of their home and keep going down this horrible path of destruction. He decided to move to Mississippi, things were very rocky, but who am I kidding it was always rocky. (I would never recommend anyone to do a long-distance relationship. Yes a few of them make it through it, but that is only a few.) We were well on our way to a year and half of nothing but an agonizing relationship. I thought things were going to work out for the longest time. I had faith up until Saturday 3/28/09 when he told me that he has been dropped from college because he had missed too many days. That was when I decided it was enough and that things were never going to change. I had to end it right then and there. It was very hard for me to make that choice, but I could no longer be with this man who was going down a completely different path than I.

I believe that you should be with someone that makes you better. Neither of us made one another better people, we made each other people that seemed like not even we could love. I am a strong woman and I will get through this and yes I know I am young and this will not be my first or last heart break.

I needed to get that off my chest and I wanted to see if any of you have words of encouragement and had your own stories. Thanks everyone!

[dragginbumper]

Sorry to hear that, you will find someone els though

[roeod4]

Sorry to hear it Amber, but it sounds like it was for the best. If the two of you were not headed in the same direction then your relationship would only grow more distant than it already was.

[username0022]

Sorry to hear what happened, Amber... Just remember, you deserve better.

[SevereDeceit]

Sorry to hear that Amber, keep your head up, you did make the right decision, although i'm sure it was very hard, you will be glad you did in the long run...

[Fence]

I don't have a story to contribute; however I will tell you that as you grow as a person; you will refine your 'checklist' in terms of what qualities you're looking for in a person...more often than not this is a trial and error refinement. Although many times this refinement/re-prioritizing process can also be born via input from others without even going through a 'trial and error' approach.

You're young; age isn't indicative of intelligence whatsoever...however do heed input from people (often older); and from the collective input you're given...implement that in your approach to relationship(s). Life is much too short to fret about certain things; however for the very reason of life being too short...it's also too short to place yourself into situations that can be avoided with a little guidance.

Goodluck thinkamp.

[beavercountyemt]

Amber the best advise I can give you is your friends are there for you. Go out with them. Have fun and live life to it's fullest. That's what helped me through mine. And sry to hear that happened.

Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com

[julianchoa2005]

sorry to hear your story amber. but relationships suck!! (no offense to those who are in one). but i went through a two year rocky relationship that took so much energy out of me. and the worse thing about ending or starting a relationship is you tend to loose a few or a lot of friends in the process. i dont have good advice on relationships cus i suck at it but i can say that just remember this, no matter how much it hurts things heal over time.

[Username00089]

I'm sorry Amber but you know I'm a blunt mofo when it comes to ish like this. So I gotta say it since you created a thread about it.

When you knew he was a drug addict then you should just have let him go from there. I'm sorry, but when you continue to stay with a person like that and think you can change them (especially at your age) you're wasting your time. You need to get YOURSELF together. Can't worry about trying to help someone else. That person can only help themself. That's what it comes down to. I'm sorry, I'm just an advocate of self-responsibility especially after the age of twenty.

I still get the feeling that you're still going to remain in contact with this guy because you care too much for him (**** if I know why). If I had a GF who was a drug addict and I knew about it, she's GONE. End of story. I don't want to be with a person who doesn't respect themself. I respect myself enough to know that I deserve better than that.

[Username0223]

Hey Ambz, sorry to hear about your sitch...but, POE did bring a very valid point, if he was doing drugs, he shulda been out the door in the first place. You do not need some1 dragging YOU down, regardless of how much you cared about him....I understand, I was your age once, being in almost the same sitch-threw his a$$ out the door. Relantionships, no matter if your dating/married are always work, but should not be that difficult. Yes you are young, and you will find some1 that just 'clicks' with you.....and you'll find yourself to be happy that your appreciated the way a lady should be. Keep your head up chickie-i know you can!!!!
and cry as much as you need to(if you do)....it will get better.

[thinkamp]

I just want to thank everyone that has given me some inspirational words! You people are amazing and I see why this CB site is like a family! You are all so caring! Thank you!!

I'm sorry Amber but you know I'm a blunt mofo when it comes to ish like this. So I gotta say it since you created a thread about it.

When you knew he was a drug addict then you should just have let him go from there. I'm sorry, but when you continue to stay with a person like that and think you can change them (especially at your age) you're wasting your time. You need to get YOURSELF together. Can't worry about trying to help someone else. That person can only help themself. That's what it comes down to. I'm sorry, I'm just an advocate of self-responsibility especially after the age of twenty.

I still get the feeling that you're still going to remain in contact with this guy because you care too much for him (**** if I know why). If I had a GF who was a drug addict and I knew about it, she's GONE. End of story. I don't want to be with a person who doesn't respect themself. I respect myself enough to know that I deserve better than that.

As for you Mike I still thank you. I knew you were going to come down the hardest on me because you and I have talked about this for a while now. I cannot and will not let myself remain in contact with him. I cannot do that to myself because the only person I will be hurting is me! Yes maybe one day WHEN I am over him I will speak to him, but until that time comes I have NOTHING left to say to him. He has lost out and I won't put myself through that bs anymore. You are also right that I thought I would some how be able to change him with his whole drug addiction, but I couldn't. I know that you cannot change a person, they have to WANT to change themselves. I know this Mike, but I am young and stupid and thought I could. Oh well I'm single and I will probably stay that way for a while.




Again everyone thank you!

[Fence]

I'm sorry Amber but you know I'm a blunt mofo when it comes to ish like this. So I gotta say it since you created a thread about it.

That's pretty telling when someone has to say 'sorry' for being blunt...especially when it's in regards to a topic such as this. Definitely; blunt'ness should be welcome when it comes to a topic such as this; for everything else...constructive blunt'ness works. .

When you knew he was a drug addict then you should just have let him go from there. I'm sorry, but when you continue to stay with a person like that and think you can change them (especially at your age) you're wasting your time. You need to get YOURSELF together. Can't worry about trying to help someone else. That person can only help themself. That's what it comes down to. I'm sorry, I'm just an advocate of self-responsibility especially after the age of twenty.

Once again; no need for the apologetic/I'm sorry tone. You're giving a BROAD generalization when you say 'let him go from there'...the reason I'm saying it's a BROAD generalization is because we don't know the extent/capacity/depth of this relationship. Sometimes one person in a relationship can be the very/only person to get the other person to become better and change certain aspects of themselves. At least some sort of effort should be put in; only after that is it ok to let things go if the effort doesn't produce any fruit.

Also; the age of '20' that you've given is a rather discretionary number.

I still get the feeling that you're still going to remain in contact with this guy because you care too much for him (**** if I know why).

I'm only speaking based on what has been said in this thread (however you may know thinkamp and the details of this relationship better; I don't know)...but based SIMPLY on what has been read; I think it's ok to not be a robot and to stay in touch in a transitionary way with a person you were in a relationship with (depending on the depth/extent of the relationship). I'm not suggesting to stay in touch for even a lengthy period of time...however gauge a person's reaction after you've told them the reason(s) why the relationship is no more; and suggest how it can be fixed (that is if you want to salvage it). If the suggestions and reasons for why the relationship didn't work...aren't acted on and reversed; it's time to bid adieu.

If I had a GF who was a drug addict and I knew about it, she's GONE. End of story. I don't want to be with a person who doesn't respect themself. I respect myself enough to know that I deserve better than that.

That may be fine; however you could very well be the individual to help THAT person gain their footing when the footings has dissolved. My point is that the problem(s) should be addressed; and if it was a worthwhile relationship before the problems revealed themselves...than it's worth a worthwhile effort to try to salvage what was a worthwhile relationship.

ALL of what I have said of course depends on whether one or both of the parties involved in the relationship want to establish dialogue to give things a second chance. I have been in relationships where it was over after the first time; no second chance about it. I have also been in a relationship where there was a second chance established...it's all contingent on the individuals.

[Username00089]

Once again; no need for the apologetic/I'm sorry tone. You're giving a BROAD generalization when you say 'let him go from there'...the reason I'm saying it's a BROAD generalization is because we don't know the extent/capacity/depth of this relationship.

You don't. I do.

[Fence]

You don't. I do.

That's nice hero; and that's good for you...but that's exactly why I inserted a plentiful amount of disclaimers in my words.

Also; I'm speaking generally for others reading this thread...not ONLY in regards to thinkamp's situation. I don't think (at least I would hope not) she minds people giving their input (not only for her: but for others as well).

Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com

[thinkamp]

That's nice hero; and that's good for you...but that's exactly why I inserted a plentiful amount of disclaimers in my words.

Also; I'm speaking generally for others reading this thread...not ONLY in regards to thinkamp's situation. I don't think (at least I would hope not) she minds people giving their input (not only for her: but for others as well).

Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com

You got that right fence!

[Username00089]

That's nice hero; and that's good for you...but that's exactly why I inserted a plentiful amount of disclaimers in my words.

Also; I'm speaking generally for others reading this thread...not ONLY in regards to thinkamp's situation. I don't think (at least I would hope not) she minds people giving their input (not only for her: but for others as well).

Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com

Your disclaimers didn't mean much to me. I decided to respond to only that quote since you tried to insinuate that maybe I didn't know the whole extent of the situation. I admit I didn't know about the drug addict part. But I qualify as knowing more about the situation than you do. Thanks "hero"

[xxxxpradaxxxx]

/Sigh

Can you just give up the lawyer jargon Fence?

Seriously.

You treat these forums like a court room.

There is no need to dissect every little thing people say.

[Username00089]

/Sigh

Can you just give up the lawyer jargon Fence?

Seriously.

You treat these forums like a court room.

There is no need to dissect every little thing people say.

Prada, check out what Fence just PM'd me lol

I wanted to say...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

...stay out of the big leagues Fabio. I'm being sincere when I offer and say this; but if you ever want advice from a man...you're more than welcome to ask me.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Talk about SENSITIVE

[thinkamp]

WOW SERIOUSLY!? are you joking me?

[xxxxpradaxxxx]

I think it's time that Fence gets PWNed for the TROLL he is.

Karma is a Boomerang, and Every Dog Has Its Day.

And I say that with the utmost sincerity.

[Username00089]

I think it's time that Fence gets PWNed for the TROLL he is.

Karma is a Boomerang, and Every Dog Has Its Day.

And I say that with the utmost sincerity.

Lol whether it does or not I thought that PM was insanely funny.

[Fence]

Your disclaimers didn't mean much to me. I decided to respond to only that quote since you tried to insinuate that maybe I didn't know the whole extent of the situation. I admit I didn't know about the drug addict part. But I qualify as knowing more about the situation than you do. Thanks "hero"

Once again; good for you. I really mean that Fabio.

/SighCan you just give up the lawyer jargon Fence?Seriously.You treat these forums like a court room.There is no need to dissect every little thing people say.:-)

Lawyer jargon?

Are you infactuated with something(s) about me? It seems like you pop up and thread-chase me in threads that I post in. What gives? Yes; I give you permission to get your comeback in response to my words now.

Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com

[xxxxpradaxxxx]

Fence = Mr Asterisk

Mr Asterisk = Hi-Definition

Hi-Definition = Fabio

Fence = Fabio

If a = b and b =c c = d then a = d

Therefore Fence = Fabio

There! I Proved it Mathematically!

[thinkamp]

So much for a CB family!

[xxxxpradaxxxx]

Once again; good for you. I really mean that Fabio.


Lawyer jargon?

Are you infactuated with something(s) about me? It seems like you pop up and thread-chase me in threads that I post in. What gives? Yes; I give you permission to get your comeback in response to my words now.

Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com

Infactuated?

No, Don't Flatter Yourself.

I'm not into beards, no matter how metro they seem.