1. Joel_Zimmerman's Avatar
    Hi there,

    There was a time when two girls each liked me, but there was a problem between them. The first one (I'll call Courtney) lived in my hometown and we got close, but she moved 120 miles (2 hour+ train journey each way) before anything else could develop. This was a year ago back in April 2010. Shortly after, me and a girl (I'll call her Mary) I had been in contact with via BBM thought about liking each other. I, for one, knew the rules about relationships without meeting so I never stepped out of line and explained the situation to her. We remained very 'close' via BBM and all throughout, I was asking to meet her every now and again, maybe asking when to meet ever week or two since I don't like to seem pushy and/or demanding. She would always reply with "maybe" and/or make excuses as to why she couldn't.

    During this time, Courtney and I were still in close contact and she would always tell me how she missed me and loved me so much. We would meet in London every few weeks since it was about halfway between where we both lived and the train fares are extortionate, especially in the southeast of England. When I told her the news of Mary, she grew extremely jealous of Mary, even though neither of them had met. Mary had also seemed to develop a jealousy of Courtney, since she lived so far away, yet me and Mary ironically lived 10 minutes of walking time away from each other! Eventually, quite recently, and after a lot of things going on between me, Courtney and Mary, Mary decided that we should meet up, but because she wasn't up to meeet by ourselves, she brought a friend along so I thought to do the same. The meeting up at a shopping centre went smoothly, but not exactly to plan. She contacted me after I had left and said it was "a bit weird" as I am well-spoken and it wasn't something she expected. Also, the subjects I talked about were dull and uninteresting, which I do admit because my friend didn't seem to fit in so I tried to make him talk by talking about certain subjects which interested him such as aircraft and Geography. This took its toll on Mary's views upon me I guess, but I explained everything to her and she seemed a bit more lenient about it. Feeling disappointed at the time, Courtney asked how things went and when I broke the news, she started 'slagging off' Mary about how much she's losing out on a great guy. Mary, wanting to know what Courtney said, reacted to this by saying that maybe I should give Courtney a chance. At first, I was reluctant to but a few days ago, I invited her round for two nights which went blissfully. Though, throughout the stay, she had been contacting Mary using my BlackBerry without me knowing, but just talking about general things. Mary's interest in conversations had dramatically reduced and she even asked me things like, "You and Courtney are happy, why can't I be?". Now, after Courtney's departure, Mary seems like she doesn't want to talk to me as if she is jealous of me and Courtney. I can't understand why if she really is jealous, because she is the one which suggested me to 'try it out' with Courtney.

    Right now, I'm unsure what to do. Continue with Courtney or offer to see Mary as friends and see what goes on from there? I'm 19, Courtney's 18 this month and Mary's 17. Anyone's welcome to comment, but nothing too seriously rude, I'm only asking for advice on what may be the best option. Before anyone starts asking about their looks, Courtney and Mary are the same height. Courtney is thin, has smooth blonde hair, green eyes and is fully English. Mary is considered by me to be of just-over average body size, has thick brown wavy hair, brown eyes and is Turkish/Cypriot.

    Cheers.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    09-06-11 09:22 PM
  2. kellyjdrummer's Avatar
    Hold on, you're letting these women treat you like a tool but don't understand why they don't take you seriously?

    Ok.
    09-06-11 10:35 PM
  3. Joel_Zimmerman's Avatar
    Hold on, you're letting these women treat you like a tool but don't understand why they don't take you seriously?

    Ok.
    Well, it definitely did feel as though I was being used, till she actually decided to meet up, but it didn't go to plan as I'd hoped for. As for the other, I'm wondering why I'm still liked by her, despite the distance. Not saying my life depends on this as I have a well-paid full time job which keeps me alive and there are many more chances at my age. Just wondering what other views are.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    09-07-11 07:24 AM
  4. kellyjdrummer's Avatar
    Well, it definitely did feel as though I was being used, till she actually decided to meet up, but it didn't go to plan as I'd hoped for. As for the other, I'm wondering why I'm still liked by her, despite the distance. Not saying my life depends on this as I have a well-paid full time job which keeps me alive and there are many more chances at my age. Just wondering what other views are.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    And this provides emotional and spiritual stability?

    Sounds like it just distracts you till you get off work and launch yourself back into the situation you seem to be bewildered by.

    What is causing the confusion is very obvious.
    09-07-11 07:42 AM
  5. Joel_Zimmerman's Avatar
    To be honest, it is well paid, but sitting in an office, 0800-1600 is a bore and takes its toll. Maybe I ought just to look at my situation in a more conservative insight and not give into what 'games' they may be/are up to.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    09-07-11 09:33 AM
  6. middbrew's Avatar
    I say ditch Courtney and Mary as they are just playing you for the fool and hook up with Elizabeth.
    09-07-11 10:19 AM
  7. Joel_Zimmerman's Avatar
    I say ditch Courtney and Mary as they are just playing you for the fool and hook up with Elizabeth.
    Lol! +1

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    09-07-11 11:39 AM
  8. Joel_Zimmerman's Avatar
    Sure, I'll actually take your advice on how you put. Stupid just to be stuck "hanging" as you put it. And to answer your question about why I'm posting this on CrackBerry, I did so because I don't really consider it to be so serious as to post it on some dating forum which I'd probably never visit again.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    09-07-11 11:47 AM
  9. kellyjdrummer's Avatar
    Good point on the forum choice.

    I hope you get it sussed.
    09-07-11 01:18 PM
  10. highjakker's Avatar
    what i got from the story was that mary just didnt find you as appealing in person as she may have from BBM (pics i assume) and just lost interest and didn't want to come right out and say so.

    ask for a 3way...nothing to lose!
    09-08-11 09:38 AM
  11. paddygirl16's Avatar
    My head is spinning that "Courtney" took your BB without your knowledge. That is enough to kick her a$$ to the curb. And Mary sounds like she needs some therapy. I like the idea of getting rid of both of them and moving onto to bigger and better. I can also make a bet, once you say "goodbye" to both of them, they will be trying to claw their way back into your life. And of course, you will be way too busy with Elizabeth to even consider it. Good luck.
    09-09-11 09:10 PM
  12. SCrid2000's Avatar
    What's a kerfuffle? It sounds like something you'd order at iHop

    Sent from my NookColor using Tapatalk
    09-09-11 10:00 PM
  13. Joel_Zimmerman's Avatar
    what i got from the story was that mary just didnt find you as appealing in person as she may have from BBM (pics i assume) and just lost interest and didn't want to come right out and say so.

    ask for a 3way...nothing to lose!
    That's true. By now, Mary's making herself obvious that she's being harsh as spite for me not taking interest in her anymore. Not that I'm taking any notice of it anymore The 3-way is still an option haha.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    09-09-11 10:13 PM
  14. Joel_Zimmerman's Avatar
    My head is spinning that "Courtney" took your BB without your knowledge. That is enough to kick her a$$ to the curb. And Mary sounds like she needs some therapy. I like the idea of getting rid of both of them and moving onto to bigger and better. I can also make a bet, once you say "goodbye" to both of them, they will be trying to claw their way back into your life. And of course, you will be way too busy with Elizabeth to even consider it. Good luck.
    Indeed, Courtney did use my phone while I was away and since you put it that way about Mary, yeah, it does sound that way lol. There are a few singles in the same office as me anyway. Even if either C or M catch a glimpse of me being friendly with another girl, they're sure to "claw their way back" to my life, since they're jealous of each other. I'm sure to pick one of these "Elizabeths" sooner or later and boy, will I not consider C or M unless they prove in some way that they're being serious. Probably not ever.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    09-09-11 10:18 PM
  15. Joel_Zimmerman's Avatar
    What's a kerfuffle? It sounds like something you'd order at iHop

    Sent from my NookColor using Tapatalk
    Kerfuffle can be described as kicking up a fuss about something. Direct explanations can be 'commotion' or 'confused'.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    09-09-11 10:20 PM
  16. Dugganm's Avatar
    Dude, man up and grow some balls.

    To put it straight, Mary doesnt like you now that she has met you. fact. leave the girl alone. Delete her from BBM without so much as a goodbye.

    Courtney stays too far away from you and obviously isnt THAT interested if only one weekend has happened between you for the past two years. And even that I am going to put down to jealousy of Mary's involvement.

    These two girls are messing with your head and you're letting them. trust me, I've been there.

    Break contact with them both completely and without explanation. if either one of them want you they'll find a way to get to you. In the mean time, concentrate on yourself and I guarantee you that you'll find someone better.
    paddygirl16 likes this.
    09-12-11 10:57 AM
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