Backtacular Gluteal Cleft Shield solves unsightly crack problems

Tired of low-riding trousers causing unwanted buttock-cleft exposure? Want to put an end to bending over only to find that your bum cheeks have been on display to the world? One designer may have come up with a solution for you.





The Backtacular Gluteal Cleft Shield in action


The Backtacular Gluteal Cleft Shield, created by designer Kimberly Brewer, is a stylish cover that prevents any unfortunate ****-crack revelations.

Made of hypo-allergenic denim, and decorated with studs and rhinestones for added bling, the Backtacular Gluteal Cleft Shield is applied directly to the skin, and sits above the waistband protecting the wearer's modesty and morals like a tiny, fashionable nun.

The BGCS can be bought online from Brewer's Kimberlily site.
Now all she needs to do to make it really take off is offer a customized version, which instead of rhinestones just features an advert for your plumbing services. She'd be on to a winner.

This should be required to be worn by all plumbers.

Do they make a longer version? I like my whole a$$ to hang out of my pants...

Originally Posted by KillYouWithMyMind

Do they make a longer version? I like my whole a$$ to hang out of my pants...

A few strips of Bacon could fix that. Or, you could really go southern and use duct tape... it comes in more colors now.

Originally Posted by trucky

A few strips of Bacon could fix that. Or, you could really go southern and use duct tape... it comes in more colors now.

Duct tape is wise because it's not tasty.

I don't know how long the bacon would last...

But duct tape for a guy......that could hurt when you remove the tape....

And for the woman in the pic above.....she should not be allowed to wear this. I am happy seeing her without a shield......

It's like anti-spyware for women.

Originally Posted by KillYouWithMyMind

Duct tape is wise because it's not tasty.

I don't know how long the bacon would last...

Just when I thought you couldn't shock me anymore...

Originally Posted by LazyStarGazer

Just when I thought you couldn't shock me anymore...

No, shocking isn't eating the bacon. Shocking is finishing off the meal with delicious chocolate pudding for dessert.

Yeccchhh! Fudge dipped bacon.

As long as you pack the fudge in there real good it shouldn't get on the bacon.

I wonder if those girls would model for this company?

I've Seen It All Now: Animal B-Hole Covers - Geekologie

Originally Posted by Radius

I wonder if those girls would model for this company?

I've Seen It All Now: Animal B-Hole Covers - Geekologie

Lmfao! Wow! I like the biohazard one. That would suck having to peel those things off everytime your pooch has to take a dook though.

I have another idea, what about a self adhering patch that doesn't come off and is suspiciously shaped like someone's mouth? I would buy a box full for sure.

Hahahaha! Jesus....

Originally Posted by Radius

I have another idea, what about a self adhering patch that doesn't come off and is suspiciously shaped like someone's mouth? I would buy a box full for sure.

If it doesn't come off, why would you need a whole box?

Save a lot of money just reusing the same one too. I'm thrifty!

Originally Posted by KillYouWithMyMind

If it doesn't come off, why would you need a whole box?

Save a lot of money just reusing the same one too. I'm thrifty!

You need more than one if your wife isn't the only game in town if you catch my drift. :cool:

Originally Posted by Radius

You need more than one if your wife isn't the only game in town if you catch my drift. :cool:

Where my B*****s at?

They're attached to your right hand. Muaaahhh Hahahahaha!

Those things would be worse than the all over body wax I had once.

Originally Posted by trucky

Those things would be worse than the all over body wax I had once.

It's more tolerable if your dominatrix is the one doing the waxing. Sure it's still torture but at least you're getting something extra from the experience.