[cslave]

You are right. This is preposterous. Do you think that every kid who texts their friends is texting them about drugs and alcohol?

Do you not think there are kids out there going to school to get an education and take staying clean and sober very seiously and have the credentials to prove that?

Do you think I would give a BB to my son if I even remotely thought that was what he was using it for rather than as a tool for school, business classes and staying in touch with me and his friends?

I know you are going to flame me now and tell me I couldn't possibly know everywhere that my son is, but I do know where he has been and where he is now.

I also know you were speaking in general terms and not to me specifically, so I just want you to see how ridiculous such a blanket statement like that about all teens is.

I would be really upset by your post, but I realize you don't know me, you don't know my son.

Yet I do find your idea that a teen texting their friends would only be texting them about drugs and alcohol quite offensive.

Again, some young people take school and sobriety seiously.

My post was completely and utterly sarcastic..sorry

[rainbowbrite812]

i have 3 kids, aged 5, 3 & 1yo and will probably get my oldest a phone when he starts going to friends' houses off the bus by himself, i think our school system won't let kids off the bus w/o a parent waiting in the driveway till they are in 3rd grade...so 8yo? but that would be a regular freebie cell that would be avail, or an old phone i have here at home...so cells for kids aren't an issue for me, as it's a safety thing.

as for the bb thing, i personally don't think they need anything THAT high-tech nor would they need a data plan. an unlimited text plan once they know how to use the phone, yes, but data...nah, till they can afford it on their own, i won't get it.

though, a good friend of mine recently got a Storm and when i asked what he was going to do with his Curve he told me that he may give it to his daughter because she she didn't have a BB...had a full keyboard LG or something but not a BB, but he wasn't positive since he *just* took the data plan off her line since she didn't use it much...she's 6 and in the 1st grade??? my almost 6yo can barely read well enough to text or use data, lol...that just made me laugh, soooo not necessary, lol

[rachaelrant]

All kids have their secrets and things they keep from others, especially their parents, anyone will tell you thats the truth.

I'm not going to dispute the way you run things because I doubt I'm going to sway you and after all, its your business. Still, I don't agree with how you breathe down their necks, if you trusted them and gave them the freedom to make their own choices and face the consequences with trivial things such as this then theyll have a chance to learn from their mistakes and probably avoid repeating them in the future with more serious things. If you're constantly controlling them in this manner you're not giving them the opportunity to be independent.

Honestly, my friends and I act VERY different around eachother and other teens (or "kids") than we do around adults and parents. Likewise, the way I act at work is no where near how I act outside. My parents understand and respect this, they respect my boundaries and know that I can go and curse and be a teen and talk about dirty and inappropriate things with my friends, because thats how teens are, but at the same time I am respectful and proper when I need to be. My parents trust this.

Being a typical teen doesn't make you a bad kid, cursing doesn't make you a bad kid, and talking about things you as a grown Christian wouldn't talk about doesn't make you a bad kid. People at this age are going to do these things you don't approve of whether you are aware of it or not (not saying you aren't, because you clearly are, just giving examples here), being a supportive parent and teaching them that yes, you CAN say these things and be like this, but you really shouldn't if you want to be respected and taken seriously outside of your age group, is key in helping them mature.


As for the predator thing, well, how about instead of monitoring them and making their choices for them that you educate them and teach them how to comport themselves online and with strangers so that they know how to act when they do eventually get out there? Prohibition never works, education does.

EDIT:
I type alot...and I hadn't even seen your second post!

This is a very good post from a very mature young person. You have a lot of insight.

Young people have so much to go through these days that I didn't have to deal with and could not even have imagined (I go way back to when there were only black-and-white TVs and 8-track tapes were the big new "in" thing).

I am aware how awful teens may look to some these days, but there are so many bright, mature, insightful and caring young people out there too if one looks at individuals instead of lumping them all into a group (as teens are and always have been).

You speak so well.

[amazinglygraceless]

Having read the original post and every post that followed, I am
completely baffled how this thread came to what it is now.

Unlike all the other BB and kids threads, the OP said nothing that
should have caused anyone to defend themselves, insult anyone
else, make sweeping generalizations about parents or their kids
or get trapped in this circular argument.

[rachaelrant]

My post was completely and utterly sarcastic..sorry

Oooops, then I'm the one who should be saying sorry...sorry

[cslave]

Oooops, then I'm the one who should be saying sorry...sorry

No its alright, haha

[Bcloutier]

Damn; I leave for Easter dinner and come back to four pages of posts to read. Wow.

Quick note: might want to get your cup of coffee, this is going to be long. I have lots to say.

Too many posts to quote, so I might as well just start.

First off Deer, I'm not arguing with you, just commenting on what you say. I have nothing against you for parenting this way, but would like to comment on it. Please don't take this as offensive to you; or to anyone else who parents this way. It's not meant to be.

Give kids some space. That means in the house if they want it, with their texts, with their emails, with their activities. Don't hover over them and try to get every morsel of information out of their lives. They'll just go and hide it from you. It's true, they will. (Curious, how do you monitor their voice calls? :P) As for your 17 year old asking to go on the internet in a public spot (the living room), I don't agree with it. I'm 16 and have my own MacBook (my part was nearly $1000, thanks). I have it in my room normally and my parents are comfortable with what I browse on. They trust me and know I won't go to overly inappropriate sites. Sure, I may stumble upon some risky sites, but I will exit those promptly. On my MacBook I have all 7500 digital family pictures, dating back to August 2004, neatly organized and backed up. I have all 13,000 songs neatly organized and backed up. I keep our videos (200GB+) neatly organized and backed up. It's part of what I do for the family. This is all done in private. I'm trusted to do this. I offered; wasn't asked. And yes, my parents do use my MacBook. Normally my Facebook page, Msn and several other sites are up, too. I have no problem with them seeing it. My email is open, too. I don't have any super-duper-private information there.

Reading every text? Wow, my parents would have fun reading through 200+ texts a day. :x They know I'm not going to be doing anything remotely illegal anytime soon, so they trust my texts. If they really wanted to read them, they probably could. They have no reason to, though. I can see someone reading through some of their texts if they had any suspicion, but a daily thing is a bit overkill.

Those are kind of my points for you there. I'm sorry in advance if I offend you; it wasn't my intent.

-----

Okay, onto some of the other posts. Let's deal with the decision making part of teens and freedom.

Teens need to have some freedom to make their own decisions. We need to fall sometimes, to learn. We won't learn jack if our parents baby us around all day long, telling us yes and no for every damn thing. We'll be married and calling our mom to ask how to do laundry, because she was always showing us how to do it, not letting us do it ourselves. I see it every day: if a child is sheltered, they will act out more when they get the chance; if the child is allowed to have some freedom. This means letting them go to a party once in a while (no, not the ones where teens get absolutely smashed and act like dumbasses). They learn from those experiences. They gain social skills. That's a **** of a big thing to learn for life. School and grades will only get you so far. Nearly every job requires human interaction, and if you haven't had the chance to develop social skills because you've not had proper freedom, you're not as well off as those that have been. And here's something I think you adults forgot: kids can think for themselves. Let us try it. Let us try it again. Let us learn from it. Don't hold us back from it and only tell us about it - let us do it. It'll be so much more rewarding, both for the parents and teen.

-----

Time for the trusting parents and coming to them part.

I trust me parents. I know I can go to them when I need to talk to them about sometime. I've done it before, too. If I need girl advice, my mom is right there for me. My dad isn't so great with it all, so my mom is my shrink. :P Deer, I'm proud of you for having your kids talk to you about everything, and you doing the same to them. That shows and even playing field. I absolutely love that. I think all families should be like that. Both parents and kids need to be able to trust each other. I trust my family and my family trusts me. We're all very close to each other. I can tell instantly when something is wrong with any one of them. Bottom line: trust your kids and give them some room and respect, and they'll return the favor.

-----

[I promise this is coming to and end soon]

Envied: sorry, but I know the kids more than you. It's true. You may be an educator (as is my dad), but hell; the kids know a lot more than you do. Anything happens at school, ask a kid, not a teacher. Oh and this whole need vs want thing; you don't need your car anymore, do you? You'd be fine to give up that luxury, right? Like you said, it's a want not a need. Sure, BlackBerries are a want and not a need, but contact with my parents is very important to me and I rely on my BlackBerry for that. Don't take it away from me. And ugh; the ones who've posed here (the teens) are the responsible ones that are unfortunately the minority. We are a dying breed it seems like. Not as many like us anymore. Hopefully that turns around soon.

-----

I think overall we need to give certain teens more respect for what we do. There's a group of great teens throughout the countries, and we do interact. I've seen massive fundraisers aimed at helping third world countries that have raised tens of thousands of dollars. All organized by teens. We can do amazing things, just give us some credit and respect and we'll continue what we're doing. If we want to use a BlackBerry as we do all of this, by all means, let us. We've somehow proven to our parents that we deserve it, whether by paying for it or earning it through grades/activities, we prove it. We don't get given it; we prove it. Please, just some more respect for us. All I'm asking. And next time this topic comes up, I'm basically going to have to copy and paste all of my replies and repost them. I don't want to have to write out all of this again. :P

-----

Ilovemiley, I had to laugh when I saw that. <3

Branden, No problem; someone has to. I'm very straight forward with everything and everyone.

I wouldn't mind BBM'ing with some of the people who posted here. They provide great insight into what us teenagers experience - the discrimination from adults. Would be some good conversations. :P

-----

Okay, wow. Didn't think I'd make it that long. Sorry if your coffee has gone cold. Wonder how many people made it through all of that. Sorry; it was over 1100 words. Woah.

If anyone really wants to continue this privately, send me a PM and we can BBM or PM about this if you want.

[cslave]

Haha, great post there!

Well, back to watching House and texting now .

[frankiezjr]

The youngest person i see with a blackberry is about 5 1/2 years old, and he knows how to use it. if your wondering what kind of bb he has he has the curve. and yes he has unlimited data and text

god his parents must be nuts

[deer2myhrt]

Well I am so glad I could get the insight of yet another child on here who thinks they can give an adult advice about raising their children BC, you should really go read all of my posts before you feel the need to spread your experienced insight. Everything that you commented on I have touched on. I don't recall reading where a single parent ever asked on here for advice on how to raise children from other kids. That said I am done, this has just gotten silly. You kids go be kids. I am going to go hover over my kids read all of their texts about their drug deals and sex plans. Then I am going to follow them to school so I can watch their every move just so I can make their tough decisions for them. **before anyone goes off on a tangent that was a joke!! I am going back to bed

[cnorton]

I'd like to thank everyone for keeping me entertained while in my Ohio History class...oh god does that make me a bad kid? Wait I'm in college it doesn't count, don't take OH History kids.

Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com

[dave_sz]

Probably the "dumbest" comment I've seen so far in this thread.

Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com

why? Cause it's true?

[Bcloutier]

Well I am so glad I could get the insight of yet another child on here who thinks they can give an adult advice about raising their children BC, you should really go read all of my posts before you feel the need to spread your experienced insight. Everything that you commented on I have touched on. I don't recall reading where a single parent ever asked on here for advice on how to raise children from other kids. That said I am done, this has just gotten silly. You kids go be kids. I am going to go hover over my kids read all of their texts about their drug deals and sex plans. Then I am going to follow them to school so I can watch their every move just so I can make their tough decisions for them. **before anyone goes off on a tangent that was a joke!! I am going back to bed

Lol, I wasn't trying to give you advice or anything. I was only commenting on what you had said. I'm sorry I couldn't touch on everything you said, and give you credit for it. I know nobody asked for parenting advice, but it seemed that some people didn't *understand* kids these days (can't word it right).

And I was trying to not offend you at all, okay? I did my best. I told you not to get offended, and I come back to what I feel is a negative attitude towards me. :x

I hoped this would turn into an actual debate, not some argument over who is right and wrong, like every other BlackBerry and Kids topic has. Oh well, maybe in another topic down the road we'll all be mature enough to have a real debate.

Sadly it looks like this has come to a close, and way too quickly. :P

[HexT]

I got my iPhone when I was 17 and paid the bill. $100/month for base minutes, unlimited data and text. It was great and I used it constantly, but the novelty of it all wore off pretty quickly. Couple days on craigslist and I sold it for $400 and bought my 8310 for $50, dropped to a FamilyTalk plan with my younger brother, and now my bill is $50 a month. Unlimited texting, but no data.

I have a laptop and a desktop. If I need to check my email or use the internet I can use one of those.

At 18 I really have no practical use for a data plan.

[Caddyman]

phones, data, smartphones, email, has no age restriction....now in the OP case, school girls texting each other probably dont need BB's, sure, but you can't say "anyone under 18 doesn't need one" i know 14 y.o.s making $1000's a month online VIA websites and other things that heavily rely on mobile communication.

[TheRock420RVD]

that's crazy, people under 18 don't really need a berry.. isn't that what sidekicks are for?? lol

[Caddyman]

smh.....i give up.

[cnorton]

Too bad there is no end this thread button, everyone is entitled to their own opinions of how they raise and monitor their children in their house and once those children turn 18 they can move out and make their own decisions based on what they have learned from their parents. I'm not saying having strict parents will result in going nuts once you go to college, or having laid back parents will result in the child being prayed on by a child molester online. As also having cops and medical professionals in my family I can understand deers viewpoint as a parent, which is completely her choice although many including myself may not agree with that it's her right as a parent.

[branden3112]

BC, you are awesome and I sure wish you had been in some of the kids with BB's thread I've been a part of. One of the other threads I was a part got to be over 45 pages! You are a true supporter of the rights of teens.

[Bcloutier]

BC, you are awesome and I sure wish you had been in some of the kids with BB's thread I've been a part of. One of the other threads I was a part got to be over 45 pages! You are a true supporter of the rights of teens.

Lmao thanks. I watched over some of the other Kids and BlackBerry threads before and decided not to provide and input. I for sure will with the next ones. :P

Someone has to stick up for us. I have no problem being honest and saying what I believe in.

[Reed McLay]

I think overall we need to give certain teens more respect for what we do. ...

Well said, and thank you for that thought provoking post.

I have a tween grandson, it's just a matter of time.

[raskal1130]

This thread is crazy. I don't recall myself or any friends having cell phones when I was in high school. I mean only a few people had the nokia cell phones with snake, haha. To me, I find it nuts, as I don't think they really need them to begin with; but times have changed. I don't really care.

[Prettyboy23]

Like OHCop I don't care what the other parents are buying their kids.

For me? There is no way in he!! that I would buy my 11 year old daughter a BB with a data plan or any other phone at this point. She is mature for her age. She has xbox's, ds's, etc. But I don't get the whole phone/BB thing at such a young age.

She isn't dating. She isn't driving. She doesn't have sleepovers at places that I can't contact 24/7. So the emergency excuse doesn't work here. LOL!

With internet predators and other unsavory content, why would I give my daughter unsupervised access to the internet? I wouldn't, so I don't.

I do get the "Mommmmm, everyone else has one!! Why can't I?" And I have covered the whole bridge and friend's jumping thing. So now I just tell her that she can't get one yet because I am just a little evil and I enjoy wallowing in her prepubescent misery.

When she is dating, driving, or doing some after school sports I will reconsider. Until then I am the bad guy.

Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com

My favorite person right now....

[ILLIONAIRE]

Blackberry Perals are the new Sidekicks.

[rick1212]

love the car bit and its true atleast he isnt out drinking and driving and getting himself or somebody else killed. aint knobody gonna die from him texting his friends

wouldn't that be assuming that the child is smart enough NOT to text while driving? but then, i've seen adults that are supposedly smart enough to know better, texting while behind the wheel