09-13-09 07:16 PM
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  1. ilovemileyyy's Avatar
    I'm in high school, my whole high school participates in this.

    But the system we use has spread to middle schools too (and maybe elementary? I dont know..) and its truly a life saver when you forget what teacher assigned you homework and when that quiz is coming up.
    That is so cool! I wish my school had that.
    04-12-09 06:41 PM
  2. deer2myhrt's Avatar
    I don't do it to be anal, lol. I do it for their protection. Unfortunatly they go to a public school that I am not to fond of and there are many children from very different cultures at their school. These children are not so respectful at all. And again as I said, I was raised a cops daughter.. hubby (their daddy) a police offiecr so we are probably a bit more cautious than most parents. We have seen first hand the devastating effects of what can come of children not being monitored close enough. I am so sorry you feel that you would "die" if your mom monitored you like that. And as you said... if you have nothing to hide what does it matter really?? Here is what I tell my kiddos.... If it is not something you would want your grandmother to read DO NOT send it in a text!!! not only for your own reputation but you never know when that text will accidentally go to the wrong recipiant!!! your grandmother?? LOL it happens all the time. I am just keeping them accountable, that is all. Thank goodness they are receptive to that and don't think it is the end of the world for me to read their messages
    Last edited by deer2myhrt; 04-12-09 at 07:33 PM.
    04-12-09 07:06 PM
  3. branden3112's Avatar
    Oh YES!! They both have gotten a text from friends that had language I do not allow. I saw that my son instantly replied to his friend with "watch how you talk on here I am monitored closely" and my daughter is not allowed to text with that little girl anymore. My children do not get in trouble for things their friends say as long as they set them straight. I have instilled christian values in my children and hope that they continue to respond in a proper way to their peers when inappropriate texts come to them. They have all in all proven themselves responsible. I understand they have no control over what others say to them but if they are warned not to continue talking like that they will be banned from texting my children. I do not monitor them so closely to be mean I want to protect them as much as I can. I am the same way with the internet, even my 17yo has to ask permission to use the computer, that is in the living room. And I do check the history, the kids know this also.

    I am a paramedic, my husband is a police officer as is my dad and brother. The internet AND texting are ways that predators use to lure children. I will do whatever I have to do to keep my children safe. This also goes for the temptations to view things on the internet that they should not. yes I know what goes through a 17 yo boys mind I have brothers!

    IMO children that are still living under my roof and I am paying their bills really don't have "privacy". Hubby and I dont see eye to eye on that, but I pay that ell bill so I will see what goes on with the phones. But really it has not come to that with my kids, they are more than willing to follow my rules to keep their phones.
    ... Kids watched over that closely just learn to hide stuff even better? Do you want your kids hiding everything from you or being able to talk to you? You need to learn to loosen up. You cant expect you're kids to be perfect, for all you know, they could be doing everything you tell them not too. I know this first hand, one of my friends moms is like you and she does everything her mom tells her not to. LOOSEN UP, and learn to realize that sometimes kids can be doing exactly what you tell them not too, kids are very good at hiding stuff.
    Last edited by Reed McLay; 04-13-09 at 10:17 AM. Reason: content moderation
    04-12-09 07:33 PM
  4. branden3112's Avatar
    I'm in high school, my whole high school participates in this.

    But the system we use has spread to middle schools too (and maybe elementary? I dont know..) and its truly a life saver when you forget what teacher assigned you homework and when that quiz is coming up.
    That is AWESOME! I wish my school had that!
    04-12-09 07:34 PM
  5. branden3112's Avatar
    Yeah, my parents love me. <3

    Can everyone stop generalizing about kids, please? There are exceptions, and I've seen a few of them in this topic. The teenagers posting in this topic seem to be the responsible ones; the ones who deserve a BlackBerry. The ones that aren't in this topic are the ones who don't know how to use a BB properly, get involved in a community like this and overall don't really need one. BlackBerries should be given when they are responsible in day-to-day activities, grades, etc and know how to use one properly. And no, I don't mean how to make a call or text. I mean install a Beta OS, manage free memory, keep applications tidy; that sort of stuff.

    Here's a little comparison for you adults having trouble understanding. When you were a kid there were toys. There were the normal toys and then the "special" toys. Well, most parents bought their kids the normal toys and their kids were okay with it, but wouldn't have minded the "special" toy. Some parents, whether it be for good behavior, grades or a special occasion, bought their kid the "special" toy. Was the kid a spoiled brat because they got the "special" toy and someone else didn't? No.

    Now, why is this much different from getting a normal phone compared to a BlackBerry. A normal phone is the normal toy; the BlackBerry is the "special" toy. Teens that get BlackBerries are not some spoiled brat just because they have a more high end/"special" item. No; what spoils a child is the parents buying them everything, telling them they are the best thing since sliced bread (and giving them an enlarged ego) and not putting boundaries on them.

    All the teens that I have seen post here have their own set of boundaries and consequences of what will happen if they do something wrong. Some have to pay for the data plan themselves, others have to keep up good grades, whatever it is - they do it. We don't just get given these things as toys; we respect them and value them. We use them for more than a cool texting phone. We use the Calendar, Email, Tasks, you name it. I probably keep my Curve in better condition - both physically and internally - than some adults. I'm anal about how my electronics are treated. None have so much as a scratch on them. I deserve what I get. I work hard to afford them and to maintain them.

    For the record, I'm a working lifeguard (yes, that's after 200+ hours of training, on top of school) getting paid $22.50/hour. I do ~20 hours a week ($1500+/mo). I can pay for my plan if I want to, but my parents paying for it is a gift to me, for my determination in everything I do. I'm currently saving for a car for when I turn 17. Who knows; we may go 50/50 on it, or my parents might spend a few thousand on it. We'll see then.

    Teens can use BlackBerries just as well, if not better, than some of you. Let us use them in peace, okay? And call us teens, not kids. Kids are younger than us.

    Damn; I really have to stop writing such long replies. Wonder how many people read through this fully...
    +1

    THANK YOU! You speak the truth. I am just like you, minus the life guard part.
    04-12-09 07:35 PM
  6. deer2myhrt's Avatar
    ... disrespectful where it is obvious that you are a child yourself. My children talk about everything with me, we are very open. I have more ways than just looking at their phones to know about their activity, I can log in to my online account. And guess what..... they do not delete messages without me knowing. I have and do double check that. I always know where my children are. And guess what, they are thankful that I am the way I am, they know they are safe!!! They even tell their friends that we don't have secerets AND a few of their friends have come to me with issues when they didnt want to talk to their parents. I know what rebelling is..... and my children don't. It seems that you and your friends tho are not grateful for your parents wanting to protect you. My children would NEVER be so disrepctful to an adult as to call them ignorant. I have had plenty of life experiances myself growing up and have shared all of that with my kids also. They have come to me about drugs, drinking and yes even to talk about sex and peer pressure. I don't sneak around looking in their stuff. as a matter of fact when their memory is full from texts they bring their phones for us to read and delete them. I do not expect them to be perfect, where did I ever write that they are perfect or expected to be?? They are tho honest and respectful and do make mistakes as any human will. That is understood and delt with as needed depending on the situation. I am sorry that you and your friend do not have such a relationship with your parents or apparently know how to be respectful.
    04-12-09 07:44 PM
  7. Dave12308's Avatar
    Kids don't see education as a reward. Kids (actually, people in general) are impatient. They want instantaneous reward. Candy, money, electronics. Thats how their brains work. They don't see that if they do their homework, they will be a doctor. They see if they don't do their homework, they can watch twenty five more minutes of TV. Did you forget what it's like to be a kid or did you just spawn a crabby adult?
    Most of us remember what it was like being a kid..... And we remember how we didn't always get everything we WANTED. A phone is NOT a NEED. Whatever happened when the reward for getting good marks was a $10 bill for an "A" on the report card and a $5 for a "B"?
    04-12-09 07:44 PM
  8. cslave's Avatar
    I don't do it to be anal, lol. I do it for their protection. Unfortunatly they go to a public school that I am not to fond of and there are many children from very cultures at their school. These children are not so respectful at all. And again as I said, I was raised a cops daughter.. hubby (their daddy) a police offiecr so we are probably a bit more cautious than most parents. We have seen first hand the devastating effects of what can come of children not being monitored close enough. I am so sorry you feel that you would "die" if your mom monitored you like that. And as you said... if you have nothing to hide what does it matter really?? Here is what I tell my kiddos.... If it is not something you would want your grandmother to read DO NOT send it in a text!!! not only for your own reputation but you never know when that text will accidentally go to the wrong recipiant!!! your grandmother?? LOL it happens all the time. I am just keeping them accountable, that is all. Thank goodness they are receptive to that and don't think it is the end of the world for me to read their messages
    All kids have their secrets and things they keep from others, especially their parents, anyone will tell you thats the truth.

    I'm not going to dispute the way you run things because I doubt I'm going to sway you and after all, its your business. Still, I don't agree with how you breathe down their necks, if you trusted them and gave them the freedom to make their own choices and face the consequences with trivial things such as this then theyll have a chance to learn from their mistakes and probably avoid repeating them in the future with more serious things. If you're constantly controlling them in this manner you're not giving them the opportunity to be independent.

    Honestly, my friends and I act VERY different around eachother and other teens (or "kids") than we do around adults and parents. Likewise, the way I act at work is no where near how I act outside. My parents understand and respect this, they respect my boundaries and know that I can go and curse and be a teen and talk about dirty and inappropriate things with my friends, because thats how teens are, but at the same time I am respectful and proper when I need to be. My parents trust this.

    Being a typical teen doesn't make you a bad kid, cursing doesn't make you a bad kid, and talking about things you as a grown Christian wouldn't talk about doesn't make you a bad kid. People at this age are going to do these things you don't approve of whether you are aware of it or not (not saying you aren't, because you clearly are, just giving examples here), being a supportive parent and teaching them that yes, you CAN say these things and be like this, but you really shouldn't if you want to be respected and taken seriously outside of your age group, is key in helping them mature.


    As for the predator thing, well, how about instead of monitoring them and making their choices for them that you educate them and teach them how to comport themselves online and with strangers so that they know how to act when they do eventually get out there? Prohibition never works, education does.

    EDIT:
    I type alot...and I hadn't even seen your second post!
    04-12-09 07:47 PM
  9. deer2myhrt's Avatar
    HAHA I rememnber that, my grandparents did that for us to. I can't say I have ever paid my kids for good gradfes but they have plenty of other rewards such as their extra activities that I pay for, gymnastics, boy scouts, football..... they don't seem to mind that their continuing to participate in these activities require good grades. Good enough for me lol all that costs enough as it is.
    04-12-09 07:49 PM
  10. Dave12308's Avatar
    i would HATE to be your son..

    especially for example i get really racy or bad languaged message every once in a while from a friend
    ^
    would you're daughter get in trouble?

    that would creep me out if my parents checked my messages and phone calls not that i say anything bad about my parents or that im involved in anything bad

    just my 2 cents
    Well, that would be tough crap if your parents did that, because they ARE your parents and it's their responsibility to know EVERYTHING going on with you..... Just my 2 cents.
    04-12-09 07:49 PM
  11. cslave's Avatar
    Most of us remember what it was like being a kid..... And we remember how we didn't always get everything we WANTED. A phone is NOT a NEED. Whatever happened when the reward for getting good marks was a $10 bill for an "A" on the report card and a $5 for a "B"?
    Haha, you probably didn't read the post where I said how people that got paid for good grades pissed me off...

    Just saying, no hard feelings, this just amused me lol
    04-12-09 07:51 PM
  12. brandonscott's Avatar
    I am 16 and have had a smartphone since I was 14.

    I use it for appointments (school stuff) and of course web browsing and texting.

    I have fully paid for the data and am only allowed to keep it if I keep my grades above 85's. if I break it or anything I have to go back to a dumb phone.

    I feel as long as the kid stays out of trouble, keeps up his/her grades and is responsible then they are mature enough for a blackberry.

    just my 2 cents..

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    04-12-09 07:53 PM
  13. branden3112's Avatar
    All kids have their secrets and things they keep from others, especially their parents, anyone will tell you thats the truth.

    I'm not going to dispute the way you run things because I doubt I'm going to sway you and after all, its your business. Still, I don't agree with how you breathe down their necks, if you trusted them and gave them the freedom to make their own choices and face the consequences with trivial things such as this then theyll have a chance to learn from their mistakes and probably avoid repeating them in the future with more serious things. If you're constantly controlling them in this manner you're not giving them the opportunity to be independent.

    Honestly, my friends and I act VERY different around eachother and other teens (or "kids") than we do around adults and parents. Likewise, the way I act at work is no where near how I act outside. My parents understand and respect this, they respect my boundaries and know that I can go and curse and be a teen and talk about dirty and inappropriate things with my friends, because thats how teens are, but at the same time I am respectful and proper when I need to be. My parents trust this.

    Being a typical teen doesn't make you a bad kid, cursing doesn't make you a bad kid, and talking about things you as a grown Christian wouldn't talk about doesn't make you a bad kid. People at this age are going to do these things you don't approve of whether you are aware of it or not (not saying you aren't, because you clearly are, just giving examples here), being a supportive parent and teaching them that yes, you CAN say these things and be like this, but you really shouldn't if you want to be respected and taken seriously outside of your age group, is key in helping them mature.


    As for the predator thing, well, how about instead of monitoring them and making their choices for them that you educate them and teach them how to comport themselves online and with strangers so that they know how to act when they do eventually get out there? Prohibition never works, education does.

    EDIT:
    I type alot...and I hadn't even seen your second post!
    +1
    Kids will be kids! You need to give them freedom or they will never make mistakes that they can learn from. Thank you.
    04-12-09 07:54 PM
  14. Dave12308's Avatar
    Haha, you probably didn't read the post where I said how people that got paid for good grades pissed me off...

    Just saying, no hard feelings, this just amused me lol
    A quick $5 or $10 as a little incentive never hurt a kid.... It's a small price to pay in the long run, and it provides the child what they are looking for, instant reward. It's far different than paying for an ongoing service where just the data plan is ~$30/month....
    04-12-09 07:56 PM
  15. deer2myhrt's Avatar
    I do not breathe down their necks, I simply know what they are doing. They are educated about it all believe me! We have plenty of trust, I know they will try to sneak things here and there I am not blind, lol. But one thing I will not sway on it the cell and internet. They know that there are consequences for every decision that they make, good or bad. But as far as the language, no not all kids will feel the need to use curse words, I can honestly say I never did nor had the urge to and my friends did not around me out of respect. So yes I do expect mine to sway from it and mostly they do. (as far as I know) Not all teens feel the need to speak about dirty things or hear about them, I am thankful that I do KNOW my daughter is that way. Now, my teenage son... I would not be suprised to hear that he does that around his friends, dissapointed? yes. But kids will be kids and he knows what is right and wrong, again...every action has a consequence eventually. So remember you may "think" you are hiding things from your parents, usually they know and are watching you to see if you make the right decision. I am not saying we know it all because we don't, that is where the trust does come into play, when we are not around. If I didn't trust my kids they would never leave my side lol.
    04-12-09 08:00 PM
  16. deer2myhrt's Avatar
    LOL Dave, thanks needed that.
    04-12-09 08:02 PM
  17. tehBrad's Avatar
    deer i know their your children but you know. you wont always be there to talk about their issues you should let them learn that they shouldnt always depend on you to talk to them about drugs and everything. and in real life they will be overwhelmed because they thought everything was so good in the real world because their mom was there to talk to them about their issues

    i just cant see how you could be that protective
    04-12-09 08:05 PM
  18. anon4705193's Avatar
    deer I really do respect what you are doing as a parent. But I am 22 and have a friend who had a mom like you, that wanted to know everything (but not the extreme of not letting them talk to people who curse) and as soon as she moved away to college she went CRAZY, drinking/partying/sleeping with people because she hadn't been able to be a "rebel" teenager for one day. I really would not want to see the same happen to your children because they could grow to feel smothered.
    04-12-09 08:13 PM
  19. tennislvr8's Avatar
    I do not breathe down their necks, I simply know what they are doing. They are educated about it all believe me! We have plenty of trust, I know they will try to sneak things here and there I am not blind, lol. But one thing I will not sway on it the cell and internet. They know that there are consequences for every decision that they make, good or bad. But as far as the language, no not all kids will feel the need to use curse words, I can honestly say I never did nor had the urge to and my friends did not around me out of respect. So yes I do expect mine to sway from it and mostly they do. (as far as I know) Not all teens feel the need to speak about dirty things or hear about them, I am thankful that I do KNOW my daughter is that way. Now, my teenage son... I would not be suprised to hear that he does that around his friends, dissapointed? yes. But kids will be kids and he knows what is right and wrong, again...every action has a consequence eventually. So remember you may "think" you are hiding things from your parents, usually they know and are watching you to see if you make the right decision. I am not saying we know it all because we don't, that is where the trust does come into play, when we are not around. If I didn't trust my kids they would never leave my side lol.
    Thanks deer2myhrt!

    As an educator with experience at elementary, middle and HS, I can with confidence say that 99.9% of kids below the age of 18 do not need them, let alone have them paid for by their parents. It is ABSOLUTELY a want and NOT a need. A need is something you cannot live without, food, water, shelter and oxgyen! Those kids who have them and do not pay for them are a large part of a generation of give me, give me and give me more. It plays itself out in school by showing a poor work ethic. Kids are kids for a small part of their lives, LET THEM BE KIDS. Kids DO NOT NEED the access that a BB allows to ANY ONE THING IN THEIR LIFE. Heck, I am not even sure we need that access, but that is a different conversation.

    People look deeper than I can afford it, they want it and it is my kid don't judge me. I have earned the right to judge---I spend the day with the them!!!!!!
    04-12-09 08:14 PM
  20. branden3112's Avatar
    I do not breathe down their necks, I simply know what they are doing. They are educated about it all believe me! We have plenty of trust, I know they will try to sneak things here and there I am not blind, lol. But one thing I will not sway on it the cell and internet. They know that there are consequences for every decision that they make, good or bad. But as far as the language, no not all kids will feel the need to use curse words, I can honestly say I never did nor had the urge to and my friends did not around me out of respect. So yes I do expect mine to sway from it and mostly they do. (as far as I know) Not all teens feel the need to speak about dirty things or hear about them, I am thankful that I do KNOW my daughter is that way. Now, my teenage son... I would not be suprised to hear that he does that around his friends, dissapointed? yes. But kids will be kids and he knows what is right and wrong, again...every action has a consequence eventually. So remember you may "think" you are hiding things from your parents, usually they know and are watching you to see if you make the right decision. I am not saying we know it all because we don't, that is where the trust does come into play, when we are not around. If I didn't trust my kids they would never leave my side lol.
    Not much I can at about this post.
    04-12-09 08:14 PM
  21. cslave's Avatar
    deer i know their your children but you know. you wont always be there to talk about their issues you should let them learn that they shouldnt always depend on you to talk to them about drugs and everything. and in real life they will be overwhelmed because they thought everything was so good in the real world because their mom was there to talk to them about their issues

    i just cant see how you could be that protective
    +1

    This is sort of like the private-school-kids-go-public-school thing. They're all different and often unable to cope with how people are in public schools simply because they've been too sheltered beforehand. And yes, I would know, I was in the top class all throughout middle school and the whole class was made up of exactly those kids with the exceptions being me and another student.
    My best friend grew up that way and he is still in some way too sheltered by his mom who is a tad over protective and he has trouble coping and slight social issues (and I mean SLIGHT, but they're apparent). I'm not saying your kids are going to grow up outcasts or like this, this is just what I've grown up around.
    04-12-09 08:15 PM
  22. cslave's Avatar
    Thanks deer2myhrt!

    As an educator with experience at elementary, middle and HS, I can with confidence say that 99.9% of kids below the age of 18 do not need them, let alone have them paid for by their parents. It is ABSOLUTELY a want and NOT a need. A need is something you cannot live without, food, water, shelter and oxgyen! Those kids who have them and do not pay for them are a large part of a generation of give me, give me and give me more. It plays itself out in school by showing a poor work ethic. Kids are kids for a small part of their lives, LET THEM BE KIDS. Kids DO NOT NEED the access that a BB allows to ANY ONE THING IN THEIR LIFE. Heck, I am not even sure we need that access, but that is a different conversation.

    People look deeper than I can afford it, they want it and it is my kid don't judge me. I have earned the right to judge---I spend the day with the them!!!!!!
    Totally agree, not everyone needs one, most kids certainly dont.
    04-12-09 08:19 PM
  23. deer2myhrt's Avatar
    UM, did you miss the part where I am a paramedic, their dad, grandfather and uncle are police officers? LOL unfortunatly my children know all to well about the "real world", probably more than they should and def more than other kids their ages have been exposed to. They have heard much and seen pictures... we are open with them about what we encounter at our jobs. This could be why they are so willing to have such open conversations with us? They are all quite aware of what can happen when bad dfecisions are made. Please don't read all of this wrong. I do not keep them under lock and key with only a bible to read, lol. They come and go with their friends, and I can trust they are where they say they will be but again I am not above checking in on them. I dont have myself convinced that they will never sneak around because their friends are doing it. we will come to that when we have to. WOW this is more than I thought it would be. Simply put I know what is going on with my kids. Are you as honest with your parents? That is what all healthy realtionships are made of. Honesty. If I didn't trust them they sure wouldnt have smart phones either lol.
    04-12-09 08:20 PM
  24. Mamaluka's Avatar
    Most of us remember what it was like being a kid..... And we remember how we didn't always get everything we WANTED. A phone is NOT a NEED. Whatever happened when the reward for getting good marks was a $10 bill for an "A" on the report card and a $5 for a "B"?
    Everything in life besides food, clothing and shelter is a want.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    04-12-09 08:23 PM
  25. anon4705193's Avatar
    +1

    This is sort of like the private-school-kids-go-public-school thing. They're all different and often unable to cope with how people are in public schools simply because they've been too sheltered beforehand. And yes, I would know, I was in the top class all throughout middle school and the whole class was made up of exactly those kids with the exceptions being me and another student.
    My best friend grew up that way and he is still in some way too sheltered by his mom who is a tad over protective and he has trouble coping and slight social issues (and I mean SLIGHT, but they're apparent). I'm not saying your kids are going to grow up outcasts or like this, this is just what I've grown up around.
    +1!

    I was in a top class in a PUBLIC elementary and middle school in New York City, and still felt sheltered because they grouped us together. I went to a private high school and everyone who had gone to private schools were extremely sheltered.
    04-12-09 08:23 PM
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