09-23-10 10:35 AM
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  1. kilted thrower's Avatar
    It is a huge invasion of privacy to have all messages on your personal phone monitored, simple as that. You're just trying to justify it with assumptions and over-protective and frankly creepy parenting.
    You're not a parent so you have no idea what it's like to be a parent. I remember when I was a teenager I used to say things like, "well, I'd rather them be smoking pot at home, drinking at home, and having sex at home than who knows where doing this stuff." Do you think that I say that stuff now?

    You know those kids that are involved in cyber bullying or the kids that kill themselves or the kids that drink and drive or get pregnant or etc etc? Do you know what the parents say? They say I had no idea this stuff was going on and I wish I had been more active and paying attention to what my child was doing.

    but that's the beauty of parenting. When you're a parent, you can let them go to parties without checking to make sure there's an adult present, you can let them message and text and not check them, you can completely trust that they'll never do anything wrong.
    09-06-10 04:43 PM
  2. IAmBBJosh's Avatar
    Well, of course, if someone absolutely wants to get away with something, sure they can get away with it. But I'd rather know as a parent that I did everything possible to be proactive than just give my teenager a free run. I know that my daughter could use someone elses phone or that she can get a bathroom pass and engage in an orgy in the bathroom. However, a parent should monitor their children's activities. How awesome would it be if you had kids and they were getting drunk at a party and one of your kids was a daughter and was having sex at the party? And then they get in another drunk students care to get a ride home and they crash and die on teh way home. And all you had to do was pick up the phone and confirm that an adult would be present.

    Also, a meteor could hit the Earth in the exact location your daughter happens to be unless you track her every move and warn her!

    But, seriously, you can pick up the phone and check things without the spying.


    Advancements have come a long way in the last 15-20 years. Abortion shouldn't even be allowed except in rape cases. You get pregnant...you're raising the baby. Nothing is foolproof. They certainly didn't have the morning after pill back then.
    If we're talking about teenagers today, though, that's irrelevant, as are your personal opinions on abortion.

    Here's food for thought. There's a town not too far from where I live. 12 years ago, the blood bank bus rolled up to take blood. When they tested the blood, 68% of the seniors had contracted HIV. I don't see a lot of safe sex happening there. And it's not this is just a weird coincidence of unprotected sex happening in Oklahoma.
    I don't disagree that teens need to be educated on the importance of safe sex, but that still isn't an excuse for phone monitoring.

    ...In fact, since your teenagers know you go through their phones, they're likely to just delete inappropriate texts periodically or simply just do things in real life which your phone tapping won't detect.
    Last edited by IAmBBJosh; 09-06-10 at 04:45 PM.
    09-06-10 04:43 PM
  3. kilted thrower's Avatar
    There is being concerned and there is over-controlling. Reading their text messages is over-kill.
    Again, the beauty of parenting. Everyone is different. I don't read everything, don't read everyday. But they sure know that I will if I want to check. There's a reason why I check now. And it stems from not watching enough of what was going on before.


    Parents wonder why their kids go crazy, sneak around, and get in a bunch of trouble whenever they have the opportunity when they were suffocated their whole lives.
    This has nothing to do with the parents. This has to do with kids choosing to go against the rules of the house because they feel entitled to do things that their friends are doing. If you want to go to a party and you know there's alcohol, you know your parents aren't going to want you to go. Do you tell them that their won't be an adult and there will be alcohol given freely?

    Am I bit more protective than some parents? Maybe. But I'm also around teenagers every day all day and I hear the stories. And these are good kids and they're still making bad choices. We're talking students involved in athletics and academics where a 3.5 is a bad GPA and their classmates make fun of them for not achieving higher. These are kids from affluent neighborhoods with upstanding parents in the community. Kids that go to church and are involved in community projects. And they're still making bad choices. They're being teenagers. You don't hold that against them. A parent has to realize that teenagers are going to be curious and want to do what their friends are doing and they want freedom.

    But parents have to be on their toes. We've been there before. We've gotten in trouble for the same things. We've felt the same way. There's really not much new under the sun.
    09-06-10 04:54 PM
  4. kilted thrower's Avatar
    Also, a meteor could hit the Earth in the exact location your daughter happens to be unless you track her every move and warn her!
    And we can get hit by a car on our way to take out the trash. Speaking of which, not too long ago a bunch of young adults stole a car, lost control around a corner, and crashed through the front wall of the house across the street from me. Luckily no one was in teh living room. But someone could've been killed. Not too long ago, a soccer coach friend of mine was standing on the field when rain started to come down. He got his athletes off the field; he then went to collect a few things off the field. He was struck by lightening and killed. Strange things happen sometimes.


    But, seriously, you can pick up the phone and check things without the spying.
    I don't spy. I don't have spying software on there. They know that their facebook messages are delivered to me now after that little incident with their friends to another group of friends. Most of the time it's, "Danielle...who are you texting?" And other times it's "Ivy, let me see your phone."




    If we're talking about teenagers today, though, that's irrelevant, as are your personal opinions on abortion.
    My response to you bringing up abortion.



    I don't disagree that teens need to be educated on the importance of safe sex, but that still isn't an excuse for phone monitoring.
    If it were me, sex ed would be required. And in these classes we'd have video of what it's liek in teh real world for teen parents struggling to finish school and not being able to go out with their friends. And then the 3D glasses would be passed out and huge blown up STDs would be shown. That's what they do (or at least used to do) right before shore leave in the Navy. Classroom time and then nice photos of what STDs look like full bloom. They found that it helped quite a bit with guys going and hooking up with prostitutes.

    ...In fact, since your teenagers know you go through their phones, they're likely to just delete inappropriate texts periodically or simply just do things in real life which your phone tapping won't detect.
    LOL...didn't you read my posts? I don't have spy software on my daughters phones. They get in trouble for things just like the average teenager does. Data is blocked on their phone since they can't seem to not hit the browser buttons, so I don't have to deal with MMS. But you're right; they can delete. I have to trust that they're not. Like I said, I occassionally ask for their phone and check who they're calling. After asking them not to call certain people and they continually did...well, what do you do aside from just take the phones away completely and I want to be able to get in touch with them since they're invovled in sports and at school after hours and may need a ride on the fly.
    Last edited by kilted_thrower; 09-06-10 at 05:07 PM.
    09-06-10 05:04 PM
  5. IAmBBJosh's Avatar
    You seem to be under the impression that if you don't monitor their every move, **** will freeze and the sky will fall in. Me and other members have already explained that this simply isn't how it works.

    I'm not constantly monitored, and I'm not even gifted and talented or any such rubbish, but I don't steal cars or get drunk every night. Go figure, eh?

    I really will stop posting in this thread now, it's going around in circles, you're not really listening, and I gotta buy a memory card and headphone adapter for my BlackBerry which is arriving soon.
    09-06-10 05:13 PM
  6. kilted thrower's Avatar
    You seem to be under the impression that if you don't monitor their every move, **** will freeze and the sky will fall in. Me and other members have already explained that this simply isn't how it works.

    I'm not constantly monitored, and I'm not even gifted and talented or any such rubbish, but I don't steal cars or get drunk every night. Go figure, eh?

    I really will stop posting in this thread now, it's going around in circles, you're not really listening, and I gotta buy a memory card and headphone adapter for my BlackBerry which is arriving soon.
    Fair enough. I have listened...thus my I felt the same you did when I was your age. Age and experience is a funny thing, it changes our perceptions and how we feel about things.

    I just took off my belt and asked my daughters if they felt I monitored their every move. They very quickly said "No!" JK

    I can see how it looks like I'm over bearing and monitor their every move. I don't. I can assure you they're not sheltered. They play sports, go to church, go to friends to spend the night, go to parties, school dances, have friends over, etc etc One daughter is on facebook, the other is listening to her ipod and texting. I'm not looking over their shoulders. The beauty of them knowing that I will ask at any time to look at their phones is usually enough to assure I don't have to.

    But, hey, we can agree to disagree.

    I promise they're not abused, they're well taken care of, and they feel very loved. I'm just a nosy parent. I know you and a few others think I'm an evil parent for checking and monitoring them. But I certainly don't judge how other parents raise their children. We all have our own parenting style.

    Sooooo...ummmm...now back to should a teenager get a blackberry.
    09-06-10 05:25 PM
  7. avt123's Avatar
    The person asking about spying software said it was for her sister's phone, and even if it was a parent, your statement isn't true for all states/countries.
    Well I'm American, so I don't know other countries laws nor do I care about them. They don't concern me. Last I checked the parents and legal guardians have the right to do whatever they want with their property. It's basically the same as an IT.
    09-06-10 05:26 PM
  8. crucialleo's Avatar
    Ok, anyway I read back that someone said that they can use the BESX from the computer to monitor whats being sent to the phone. Just wondering if that was true. Didnt mean for this to turn into a big debate. I just asked her if she wanted a BB and she said no, so it doesn't matter anyway. I will do anything to make sure my little sister is safe and yes I do talk to her about right and wrong but we all know that kids will still do what they want. All we can do is hope they take our advice and make the right decisions.
    09-06-10 05:43 PM
  9. californiablackberry's Avatar
    I saw a fluctuation of teenagers with 8520/8530s, then most of them turned Android.
    09-06-10 05:51 PM
  10. exelant's Avatar
    Do you think blackberrys are wasted on younger people ? and what blackberry est suits the demands of the younger population?
    To answer the OP's question, I do not think they are wasted on the younger generation. I gave one to my 16 YO and it has not been a mistake at all. He loves to text, and my ex and her husband who pay for the cell phone service pay for a no net, limited talk / unlimited text plan. I showed him how to use it to transport files from PC to PC on the media card and how to use Docs2Go so it has become a school tool as well as a communication device.

    Some kids aren't responsible enough, but my Son is responsible and puts his device to good use. Not to mention how it helps us stay close by always being in touch. I plan to get one for my daughter when she starts High School next year as well.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    09-06-10 06:29 PM
  11. mckinnie's Avatar
    Let em' switch to Android and iPhone. I've gone back to Blackberries 3 times for a reason

    I'm a 17 year old whose addicted to his BlackBerry, and I love it.
    09-06-10 10:07 PM
  12. Fit24's Avatar
    If cost is not an issue for the parent or child I say yes. Features that are considered unnecessary can be blocked or removed.
    09-06-10 10:20 PM
  13. anon(4732323)'s Avatar
    I don't think it's wasted at all. Majority of teens either use blackberry or iphone now. So long as they're responsible with it then it's no different from having a laptop or any other item to a similar effect.
    09-07-10 04:57 AM
  14. racHELLe77's Avatar
    Well I'm American, so I don't know other countries laws nor do I care about them. They don't concern me. Last I checked the parents and legal guardians have the right to do whatever they want with their property. It's basically the same as an IT.
    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    09-07-10 09:39 AM
  15. racHELLe77's Avatar
    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    **** Yeah My 8 and 10 year old mess w/ my phone all the time & know how to use it better thn most adults I have seen

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    09-07-10 09:43 AM
  16. RobertDavidson's Avatar
    Well this threads gone flat so another question on the topic.

    Two of my friends have just got iphone 4's no one says a thing, but my 3 month blackberry still gets the "how come youve got a blackberry treatment.

    Do you think blakcberrys are more exclusive compared to iphones ?
    09-20-10 11:35 AM
  17. jstarett's Avatar
    I wouldn't say exclusive... A lot of my droid/iphone friends say the samething to me and their main response is Blackberry is so old fashioned and outdated, but that doesn't stop them from asking about it or wanting to play with it.


    I had to pick my friends kid up from elementary school one day and I swear I saw kids with iphones and blackberries! I would never trust a kid with a 500$ phone no matter what sort of deal I got for it.
    09-20-10 12:04 PM
  18. RetroAndreas's Avatar
    No TV's, computers, phones, mobile phones, or ipod touch like devices allowed in my girls bedrooms period. They are 14 and 13 now. I'm not sure at what age I'll let them have the stuff in their rooms.
    09-20-10 12:35 PM
  19. anon3396357's Avatar
    I guess it's a good thing nobody really cares what phones we use here in Singapore. Instead of bashing other devices, we tell our friends the shortcomings of our own phones and advise them accordingly. Love it here.

    Anyway, I was taking a train and I saw two little boys - around 8 to 10-years-old - carrying an iPhone 3GS and iPhone 4. When I first saw one of them I thought it belonged to their dad who was trailing behind. Then I saw both, each holding one in their hand, and I was like .
    Last edited by Derwent Graphite; 09-20-10 at 01:27 PM.
    09-20-10 12:38 PM
  20. mark_rivers19's Avatar
    2 words. parental control.
    it doesn't really matter if your 13 yr old has a motorola razor or a blackberry curve or torch.. they can still do "sexting"
    Good parenting.. and common sense from the teenager goes a long long way
    09-20-10 01:03 PM
  21. tinny24's Avatar
    i personally think it is upto each parent which phone there child uses i have a 6 year old daughter and a 6 year old step daughter..

    when then time comes if they want a blackberry then ok they can have one but like alot of people on here it will be monitered teenagers are so obsessed with sex these days it scares me
    09-22-10 07:58 AM
  22. fecurtis's Avatar
    I didn't have one when I was a teen...mainly because they didn't exist.

    My brother, however, did. I don't see the big deal. He just pays the $30/month and is done with it. That was the deal my parents made with him, just pay for the data and he can get one.
    09-22-10 10:01 AM
  23. fecurtis's Avatar
    i personally think it is upto each parent which phone there child uses i have a 6 year old daughter and a 6 year old step daughter..

    when then time comes if they want a blackberry then ok they can have one but like alot of people on here it will be monitered teenagers are so obsessed with sex these days it scares me
    ...when weren't teens obsessed with sex?

    In reading some of the replies here, some of you guys sound like odd/naive/out of touch parents.
    09-22-10 10:02 AM
  24. 2_Fabulous's Avatar
    If they can't pay for the data plan or afford to get a new one if they break it than no.... but if they are responsible and are careful than i guess it's ok... i stll feel that all this technology being available tweens and teens is making their generation lack communication skills and is a big problem!
    09-22-10 10:27 AM
  25. iBlack11's Avatar
    Blackberry was made as a business phone, but 21st century, everyone can use it lol
    09-22-10 04:15 PM
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