1. SCrid2000's Avatar
    For those who have not yet noticed, the New Crackberry has several ranking features, which (perhaps unintentionally) allow for all kinds of new competitive play.

    The 4 topics are
    1. Hottest Thread
    2. Most Viewed Thread
    3. Most posted
    4. Most thanked

    Now the last two are easy positions to nab, although you may have a difficult time unseating some of our more post happy members. The first two are more difficult. Here's very simple instructions on how to obtain the coveted position of "Hottest Thread." Kids, don't try this at home.

    Step 1: Open up the General Discussion thread. This is the best place to post for reasons which will be shown later. Do NOT post in the Android section, no one actually reads anything in that section.

    Step 2: Make you title something that will attract people to it; this is done by appealing to people's deep seated drives and irrational emotions. Because CrackBerry is family friendly, you can't use words like ***, ****, ********, or ballsuckers. You can use words like ****, ****, or *****, but that's generally discouraged.
    As of now, the best topic to attract numerous posters is something asserting the superiority of BlackBerry over Android (makes sense - after all, this IS an Android site, right?). An example of this can be found in the recent Hottest Thread, http://forums.crackberry.com/f2/why-...-don-t-576518/. As can be seen in the following photo, this will quickly rise to the top as all our beloved Android Fanbois flock to the post to insult it.



    Step 3: There is no step three, you're done! Optionally make some sort of asinine observation, but this really is not necessary. An example would be something like this:

    It's because Android OS sucks. If it was as good as BBOS, they wouldn't need such powerful processors. BBOS just is, and will continue to be, better. Suck it haters.
    (puts on flame suit and unsubscribes from thread)
    So there you go everyone, and good luck on starting the Hottest Threads on CrackBerry!

    *this post is entirely satirical, any advice given is entirely asinine and noting more than a commentary on the sad state which crackberry.com has fallen into; please do not follow these instructions, as the unbridled wraith of countless andoids will undoubtedly be rained down upon you; the author is in no way responsible for any loss to life, health or property which occurs as a result of aforementioned android rain.
    **no animals were harmed in the making of this thread, although several thousand baby seals were clubbed in the planning process.
    ***please drink and drive responsibly.
    ****don't actually drink and drive, even in a responsible manner.
    *****On a more serious note, there are many members of CrackBerry who I greatly respect who use android. The slight acridity of this post is not directed at those people.
    Last edited by SCrid2000; 01-17-11 at 05:15 PM.
    01-17-11 04:51 PM
  2. SevereDeceit's Avatar
    You have way too much time on your hands, good god...
    FigureThisOut and pkcable like this.
    01-17-11 05:04 PM
  3. SCrid2000's Avatar
    Lol, nah this only took me about 15 minutes, which was my break between property and criminal law reading. It would've been faster if my internet wasn't so freakin slow!
    You my friend are obviously not included in the people this post is not-so-subtly making fun of.
    01-17-11 05:09 PM
  4. avt123's Avatar
    You are being more pathetic than the trolls people on this site complain about.
    howarmat and FigureThisOut like this.
    01-17-11 05:14 PM
  5. SCrid2000's Avatar
    You are being more pathetic than the trolls people on this site complain about.
    Thank you sir, may I have another?
    01-17-11 05:19 PM
  6. grover5's Avatar
    This was pretty funny. Well done.
    01-17-11 05:28 PM
  7. howarmat's Avatar
    So like i said in the first post on your troll thread, you were trolling and admitted congrats for being a complete ******
    01-17-11 05:30 PM
  8. SCrid2000's Avatar
    So like i said in the first post on your troll thread, you were trolling and admitted congrats for being a complete ******
    Man, I thought you were included in the list of people who I have respect for.
    It's a satire, a joke. And you gotta admit that makes it more useful that the countless "I'm switching to Android cuz BlackBerry sux" posts.
    Again, humor. Comedy. Satire. Joke. Not serious. Sorry if you don't think it's funny.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    01-17-11 05:33 PM
  9. avt123's Avatar
    Thank you sir, may I have another?
    No you can not.

    I understand the humor, I just think this is going to turn out to be another flame filled thread. That is why I think it is pathetic.
    01-17-11 05:35 PM
  10. SCrid2000's Avatar
    No you can not.

    I understand the humor, I just think this is going to turn out to be another flame filled thread. That is why I think it is pathetic.
    Ah but therein lies the brilliance - every flamtastic post in here is one that's not in a legitimate thread.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    01-17-11 05:38 PM
  11. pilsbury's Avatar
    LOL. Well done my friend, carry on!
    01-17-11 05:42 PM
  12. Reed McLay's Avatar
    I suspect SCrid is trying for the top 5 in each topic, at the same time.
    01-17-11 05:44 PM
  13. the_sandman_454's Avatar
    Ah but therein lies the brilliance - every flamtastic post in here is one that's not in a legitimate thread.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    All your legitimate threads are belong to us.
    01-17-11 05:45 PM
  14. avt123's Avatar
    Ah but therein lies the brilliance - every flamtastic post in here is one that's not in a legitimate thread.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    So you are designating this thread to be the "flame thread"? There is nothing brilliant about providing a place where people can disrespect each other, especially when they can do it wherever they want.

    Hopefully this just stays filed with laughs. There is enough disrespect on this forum already. No need to add to the fire.
    01-17-11 05:46 PM
  15. SCrid2000's Avatar
    So you are designating this thread to be the "flame thread"? There is nothing brilliant about providing a place where people can disrespect each other, especially when they can do it wherever they want.

    Hopefully this just stays filed with laughs. There is enough disrespect on this forum already. No need to add to the fire.
    "Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just... do things. The mob has plans, the cops have plans, Gordon's got plans. You know, they're schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I'm not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. So, when I say... Ah, come here."

    I hope it stays light hearted too.
    01-17-11 05:50 PM
  16. jesus marion joseph's Avatar
    Lol, nah this only took me about 15 minutes, which was my break between property and criminal law reading.
    Gratuitous tip from a 1998 law school grad: unless/until you work in a law office you will probably have no idea how "fee simple" and "fee tail" work in real life. Also, in crim law, use the term "men rea" a lot and nobody will know you're confused!
    01-17-11 05:52 PM
  17. FigureThisOut's Avatar
    You have way too much time on your hands, good god...
    Well he does live in Utah....
    01-17-11 05:53 PM
  18. avt123's Avatar
    "Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just... do things. The mob has plans, the cops have plans, Gordon's got plans. You know, they're schemers. Schemers trying to control their little worlds. I'm not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are. So, when I say... Ah, come here."

    I hope it stays light hearted too.
    The Dark Knight is a good movie.
    01-17-11 05:54 PM
  19. Kellina's Avatar
    Lol! Funny stuff here!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    01-17-11 05:56 PM
  20. grover5's Avatar
    Well he does live in Utah....
    Utah is a beautiful state in my opinion. I've only been once but I was impressed.
    01-17-11 05:57 PM
  21. ThePinkChameleon's Avatar
    LMAO! Nice SCrid! glad to see the sense of humor still in the forums and not all gloom, doom, serious faces! We all need a good laugh and a smile put on our face once in a while I had to laugh when SevereDeceit said you had to much time on your hands and you replied it wouldve been quicker if your internet wasnt so slowhee hee hee
    01-17-11 06:33 PM
  22. rrrebo's Avatar
    Laura Knotek likes this.
    01-17-11 06:39 PM
  23. Laura Knotek's Avatar
    01-17-11 06:51 PM
  24. sexyboy31's Avatar
    For those who have not yet noticed, the New Crack berry has several ranking features, which (perhaps unintentionally) allow for all kinds of new competitive play.

    The 4 topics are
    1. Hottest Thread
    2. Most Viewed Thread
    3. Most posted
    4. Most thanked

    Now the last two are easy positions to nab, although you may have a difficult time un seating some of our more post happy members. The first two are more difficult. Here's very simple instructions on how to obtain the coveted position of "Hottest Thread." Kids, don't try this at home.

    Step 1: Open up the General Discussion thread. This is the best place to post for reasons which will be shown later. Do NOT post in the Android section, no one actually reads anything in that section.

    Step 2: Make you title something that will attract people to it; this is done by appealing to people's deep seated drives and irrational emotions. Because Crack berry is family friendly, you can't use words like ***, ****, ********, or ball suckers. You can use words like ****, ****, or *****, but that's generally discouraged.
    As of now, the best topic to attract numerous posters is something asserting the superiority of BlackBerry over Android (makes sense - after all, this IS an Android site, right?). An example of this can be found in the recent Hottest Thread, http://forums.crackberry.com/f2/why-...-don-t-576518/. As can be seen in the following photo, this will quickly rise to the top as all our beloved Android Fan bois flock to the post to insult it.



    Step 3: There is no step three, you're done! Optionally make some sort of asinine observation, but this really is not necessary. An example would be something like this:



    So there you go everyone, and good luck on starting the Hottest Threads on Crack berry!

    *this post is entirely satirical, any advice given is entirely asinine and noting more than a commentary on the sad state which crackberry.com has fallen into; please do not follow these instructions, as the unbridled wrath of countless and oids will undoubtedly be rained down upon you; the author is in no way responsible for any loss to life, health or property which occurs as a result of aforementioned android rain.
    **no animals were harmed in the making of this thread, although several thousand baby seals were clubbed in the planning process.
    ***please drink and drive responsibly.
    ****don't actually drink and drive, even in a responsible manner.
    *****On a more serious note, there are many members of Crack berry who I greatly respect who use android. The slight acidity of this post is not directed at those people.
    Hats off to you sir this is the best **** on this forum in months better then the os 6 announcment and more funny then all the people still waiting for the upgrade to hit there phone you are a gentleman and a scholar keep it up I can't stop laughing

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    01-17-11 06:51 PM
  25. Evan_O's Avatar
    No flaming or bashing here... Got a good laugh from this one. Thanks OP!

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    01-17-11 07:32 PM
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