05-11-09 03:09 PM
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  1. Snarfler's Avatar
    My kids did not need blackberries when they were 14. I would not have allowed them to get blackberries at age 14, even if they could pay for them themselves. 14 year olds should have simple enough lives they don't need the power of a professional piece of mobile business information technology



    I'd be upset about the credit card abuse, pron or not. A child needs a strong lesson there.
    05-11-09 02:15 PM
  2. PensHockey's Avatar
    ummm so why does your kid have a blackberry?? Does he have alot of work emails to work on. Does he do his homework on it?(i hope not)

    I am not against porn. I am against parents who pass the blame away from there kids and on to somone else.

    Your kid stoled your CC.... I would beat my kid if he did that.
    Your kid paid for a porn site..... Once agian beating
    Your kid was looking at porn..... I dont see blackberry in any of that.

    If he paid for it on his computor would you want to block porn from HP or Microsoft?

    Tell your kid its not alowed. Take his phone away. Punish him.. He did it not anybody else.
    05-11-09 02:16 PM
  3. jamesandyori's Avatar
    Parental Error. Plain and simple.
    05-11-09 02:17 PM
  4. jyew's Avatar
    ... IMO. Give your kid some privacy

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    from most of your comments, I have to wonder if you are 14 years old...

    My kids.. can have all the privacy they want once they are 18 and move out. Until then, it's my roof, my rules. If/when my kids pull something like this, I'd beat 'em. That's how I was raised, and I think it worked out ok.

    Van.. sorry for the tone and idiocy of some of these comments, but they do make a few good points if you can filter out the crudeness. I'd be more concerned about the credit card issue. And, by nature of the small BB screen alone, I think there are far worse things he could do on a full screen desktop. What if he used your credit card to start gambling online? Or, what if he decides to open another credit card under your name? or steals someone else's. Since pornography is technically not illegal, you can't expect the govt or phone company to do much. If they do, then great.. use it. Like cable, you can restrict those channels, but if they choose not to have that feature, then you just cancel

    I think there needs to be pretty significant consequences to his actions, as well as conversations about trust and responsibility. Who paid that credit card bill? Does he have a job? I'd get him the cheapest, smallest, pre-pay, basic telephone, activate his number on it, and let him use that for at least 6 months. If he earns your trust again, you can switch his number back to a cooler phone with better features.

    Just some things to think about...

    when I was 14, I wouldn't even think of doing this because (1) I know how much it would hurt my mother, and (2) how badly my father would whup me, and (3) I'd get my car, phone, and free time severely restricted or taken away for months. I think that was a nice balance that guided me well through these treacherous adolescent years.

    Best of luck..
    Last edited by jyew; 05-11-09 at 02:25 PM.
    05-11-09 02:20 PM
  5. wm2485's Avatar
    The kid stole the credit card. let me tell you, if that was me my parents would have taken everything from me but bread and water. The kid dose not need a phone. He needs a woopin! I thing this is one of the many reasons you need to get the 14 year old a phone in your name and he can't get one in his own, Because you are responsible for his actions on it not the service provider.
    05-11-09 02:27 PM
  6. XxTRCxX's Avatar
    ummm so why does your kid have a blackberry?? Does he have alot of work emails to work on. Does he do his homework on it?(i hope not)

    I am not against porn. I am against parents who pass the blame away from there kids and on to somone else.

    Your kid stoled your CC.... I would beat my kid if he did that.
    Your kid paid for a porn site..... Once agian beating
    Your kid was looking at porn..... I dont see blackberry in any of that.

    If he paid for it on his computor would you want to block porn from HP or Microsoft?

    Tell your kid its not alowed. Take his phone away. Punish him.. He did it not anybody else.

    You are against parents who pass blame on others, yet you would "beat your kid" if he/she did that.

    I do not see the logic in that at all. Passing blame is not illegal, yet you would commit a felony to make your point. How mature.
    Last edited by XxTRCxX; 05-11-09 at 02:36 PM.
    05-11-09 02:28 PM
  7. thebeags's Avatar
    Question. If you caught your child watching a late night skin flick on Cinemax, would you ask the government to censor television better?

    Face it, you gave your son the tools he needs to do what he did. Its not the Governments fault he went and looked up what he wanted to.

    The US Government has a lot of other issues right now, and they arent what a 14 year old boy is looking at during his "me" time.
    05-11-09 02:29 PM
  8. mrseven77's Avatar
    Ok so how can I stop them from using technology that I don't even understand. Who am I to say that my son won't one day become the next Bill Gates or something so by taking away his phone I stop that. I don't have the expertise to do determine this, I don't have the resources to hire somebody to help, so I can only rely on the government to help me who I have to assume has the resources to do their due diligence in this issue.

    Ask yourself, despite all your arguments to the contrary, do you not think that willfully allowing porn into the hands of underage kids is not the responsibility of the government and MORALLY wrong? If it isn't it should be! I can talk to my son and ground him for a year but it's not going to stop other peoples kids. That's why we have government. Even if nothing happens and I can only bring awareness to this issue to help educate other parents then it's worth it for me. You have no idea how much It hurts me to think my son was even able to contemplate this.

    And BTW I do take care to speak to him about sex and what is right and wrong. I didn't say that he KEEPS looking at pornography. I'm sure that after this he won't touch it for a very long time. At some point it will be his moral choice to do this and at that point I can only hope that all the lessons I have taught him and done my best to instill in him will help him make the right decision. What else can I do?

    They do the best they can by asking for a credit card. Not their fault your son is a thief.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-11-09 02:37 PM
  9. ajevert's Avatar
    I do some what agree with both sides. I feel she is upset that she caught her son browsing. I would be too, but i sure would'nt come on cb and say things about banning porn or what ever. Face it, you messed up or slacked and your son took advantage. Deal with it now, this time now is where being a parent comes into play.
    05-11-09 02:41 PM
  10. isaemm's Avatar
    If taking away his BB for a week had such a negative social effect on him maybe then there are greater problems than him viewing porn.
    05-11-09 02:43 PM
  11. david42545's Avatar
    Originally Posted by vanrunner
    I still believe that this is not my responsibility as a parent though.
    Does nobody else find this extremely scary?

    -------------------------------------------------------------------

    Van, but it is your responsibilty as a parent !
    ... I'll put in my hat here.
    I have two young daughters, ages (11) and (15). First and foremost they are two young to have blackberries, so I got them LG ENV 2. They can communicate with me, their mom, their friends, enough said. I also, as a responsible parent, have the phones blocked from internet, vcast, etc, as I do not see the need for them to have access to the internet from the phones. We have (3) computers at home, and if they want to use the internet, they can do it from home. Secondly, I monitor their cell phone use for anything out of the ordinary. I feel that since I got them the phones, my responsibility to my daughters extends far beyond, then just paying the bill every month.
    05-11-09 02:45 PM
  12. alleycat0124's Avatar
    Since pornography is technically not illegal,
    Not entirely correct.

    There are statutes concerning "contributing to the delinquency of a minor."

    Some sites which publish content not suitable for minors require a credit card to validate a users age. These are the more "morally responsible sites."

    Then there are the sites which only require you to "Click to acknowledge" you are of legal age to view the material (18 or older in the U.S., I believe).

    Since the offending site mentioned by the OP was one of the former, it really looks like it's the OP who dropped the ball, at both ends of the court.
    05-11-09 02:50 PM
  13. ajevert's Avatar
    In regards to the porn site issues with the 14 year old. Totally take away the blackberry (if he needs a cell phone, get him a plain one with no internet service available). Also, in regards to the computer, take total access away unless totally supervised by an adult at all times.
    set up password only activation to the computer with only the adult knowing password.
    Also, please seek help for the 14 year old. Better to take care of this now then have it turn into something worse in long run.
    This is good parenting.
    05-11-09 02:50 PM
  14. wallpaperguy's Avatar
    Just wait a few more years and I'm sure the Obama administration will be protecting us from most all possibly harmful activities!
    Sorry, I couldn't help myself. Seriously though, you act as if there is something special about a blackberry that gives "unlimited" access to porn, when in reality it is simply providing access to the INTERNET. Your son played you for a fool when he convinced you that he had to have a blackberry. Get him a regular phone with unlimited text and be done with it. I promise you that he will survive (my 14 year old does)

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-11-09 02:51 PM
  15. cenloe's Avatar
    As a guy who doesn't have kids yet but who will be a father in August, I feel like I can see and understand both sides of the argument without bias.

    I support your desire to censor and monitor what your children are viewing and exposed to, but maybe not so much in the manner you wish to do so.

    Maybe an app for monitoring a web browsers address would be a better idea. It's certainly not RIM's or any carriers responsibility to police and report to you what your your kids are viewing. I could also probably support a tool for parents to block any XXX rated material from smartphones via the carriers website through your account.

    Why exactly does a 14 year old have a Blackberry for? I'm not convinced that anything more than dumbphone is necessary for anyone below the high school level.
    05-11-09 02:51 PM
  16. danhclare's Avatar
    Not entirely correct.

    There are statutes concerning "contributing to the delinquency of a minor."

    Some sites which publish content not suitable for minors require a credit card to validate a users age. These are the more "morally responsible sites."

    Then there are the sites which only require you to "Click to acknowledge" you are of legal age to view the material (18 or older in the U.S., I believe).

    Since the offending site mentioned by the OP was one of the former, it really looks like it's the OP who dropped the ball, at both ends of the court.
    yeah all you have to do is click yes i am 18. even a 12 year old could figure that out!
    05-11-09 02:52 PM
  17. strevi69's Avatar
    Obviously stealing my credit card is the least of my worries

    Umm, excuse me, this is the least of your worries?? Thats having a good attitude, This can lead to the beginning of future problems..Viewing porn at 14, how about drug use, using inhalants, suicidal tendencies, smoking/alcohol use?? Stealing is the start..If you dont worry about it now and take action the kid figures it out and will continue sneaking/stealing behind your back because he can get away with it....Not all parents, but there are parents out there who let their kids do what they want without even checking on them or meeting who they are going out with or meeting their parents....My parents always would want to meet my friends and their parents..Kids nowadays have no respect for their parents/teachers/administration or elders anymore..
    Parents have lost touch with their kids not teaching them respect, manners, values or virtues and it soooo sad...I can honestly say I am glad I am not raising a child during this generation...Childhood no longer exists, 12 yr olds having babies/abortions, gangs, killings in schools, just pure violence/hate..
    This is the future that is going to take care of us when we get old???? I hope my time has come by then thank you.......
    05-11-09 02:54 PM
  18. ajevert's Avatar
    I really am having an issue with this topic even being on here, but i guess it served it's purpose, it got all of us talking did'nt it...lol
    05-11-09 02:57 PM
  19. XxTRCxX's Avatar
    I suppose your right aje , we are entitled to our opinions and so we have spoken as such.
    05-11-09 03:00 PM
  20. SuddenlySara's Avatar
    Your son should have not used your credit card by any means. But to say no porn is obsurd. Like people before me said. If he doesn't get it online then he will get it from friends or whatever else. Be thankful your son isn't doing other things like drugs or drinking. Cut him some slack. You were young once. He is coming into a man. He is curious and horny. ... Shrugs.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    Last edited by Reed McLay; 05-11-09 at 03:04 PM. Reason: Content moderation
    05-11-09 03:00 PM
  21. leathernuts#WP's Avatar
    Ok I agree with you danhclare in the this point about restriction but see it from my side, until Net Nanny or whatever is available for Blackberrys, iPhone, etc... then what as a Parent am I supposed to do? Take away his Blackberry? I'm at a loss here.
    Didnt want to read through all the post, but YES, he doesnt need a phone let alone a BB. But just get him a regular cell, with texting capabilities and problem solved. I contemplate getting my daughter a cell at times, and then realize how ridiculous it is. I need to get my lazy **** up or away from whatever Im doing and be a parent, vs one who doesn t want to be bothered and figures they can just call. I know the day will come when she will roam more freely, and then a cell will come. Untill that day, Ill just be close by or her mom.
    05-11-09 03:00 PM
  22. Tifoso's Avatar
    ha ha don't worry, he got in trouble for stealing my credit card. I couldn't believe he actually did that to be honest but it's my own fault. I think he and his friends did it actually.

    Ok so no internet is a good fix for now. But I'm not a mean parent so if anybody can help me with the filters thing that would be great.

    I still believe that this is not my responsibility as a parent though. Our government is supposed to protect us from things that might cause us harm and even if Pornography is pretty mild in comparison to Bomb Making or Terrorism I still think they should control this. I mean wasn't it just a little while ago that those terrorists in India used Blackberries to kill all those people in that hotel? Why is it that this is even allowed? Why do we have to wait for terrible things to happen before anybody takes any action and even then it's not enough?

    Does nobody else find this extremely scary?



    Yes I find this extremely scary. If you think that anyone other than you and his father are responsible for his proper up bringing then you should have never had kids to start with. You and his father need to stop working 60 hour work weeks just so you can have that big McMansion on an acre of manicured land. Take some time out of your frantic lives and spend it with your kid. Maybe he won't grow up to resent you.
    05-11-09 03:01 PM
  23. chad177's Avatar
    i find it funny that its never the parents problem anymore. Your the parent, your son got in trouble, not the blackberry
    05-11-09 03:03 PM
  24. PensHockey's Avatar
    You are against parents who pass blame on others, yet you would "beat your kid" if he/she did that.

    I do not see the logic in that at all. Passing blame is not illegal, yet you would commit a felony to make your point. How mature.
    Yes because the reason we are where we are in society is because we stoped beating our kids when they did somthing wrong. We tell them that its not there fault they are stealing, its not there fault they are commiting fraud. I garentee that you smack your kid once thats where it will stop.

    Dont tell me that we need to make the world safe for your kid. YOU need to make the world safe for your kid. Teach them right from wrong, teach them that there are consequeses for there actions, not that the world need to protect them.

    If i mess around on my job i get fired, not my boss need to change the rules around because i want to play games or watch porn on my blackberry while on the clock.

    Teach them right from wrong and punish them for there actions!
    05-11-09 03:03 PM
  25. cadsystems's Avatar
    I'm just glad to see all the fine folks on CB who don't need the government taking away peoples rights. Personal responsibility is the only issue in this case.

    Posted from my CrackBerry at wapforums.crackberry.com
    05-11-09 03:06 PM
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