HELP with Blackberry Messenger

I am just getting started with a new Blackberry Pearl. I got one for my husband and one for myself. Out of the box the options were different. THings work just fine on his, but not on mine. 2 issues I am having trouble with at this moment:
1) How do I automatically change the default to PIN when adding a new contact. Right now, if I try to add a new contact it defaults to email which doesn't work. I am able to "use once" and then "request by PIN" but I would rather just select the contact and try to send PIN first.
2) When my husband is not using his Blackberry for a while, I see his status as "busy", but mine never goes to that status. How do I get it to see I am not active and auto set my status to busy?

1. From BBM, Add a Contact > Scroll up to the top and highlight Use Once > Press Menu > Request by PIN.

2. I don't think there is a setting to automatically do this.