I downloaded and used for a little while Visual VM from VZW on my new Tour.
I was getting the notification icon for missed calls and voice mail prior to installation and even during using VVM.
I have since deleted VVM but now I don't get the little notification icon that I have voice mail or even the pop-up on the screen that I have voice mail. Only with missed calls.
youmail cannot set the notification icon. the best option is to have the youmail icon on your home screen so you can see the red * when you have a vm, or have them send you a text/email when you get one
Maybe your account is still provisioned for VVM and it doesnt know you deleted the app? Have you tried calling CS or tech support? Thats the only thing I can think of.