SOLVED!
Despite Orange trelling me it was my fault... ON MANY OCCASIONS... (I hate to say I told you so), I was right.... I was starting to take offence from having to explain to non technical people everytime what was happening... you'd think they didnt keep notes?!
Not a mac issue.
Phone issue.
Ive just had my third replacement, plugged it in, and away ive gone.
new phone. 4.6.0.162, platform 155. No changes to the recent intalls which didnt work.
missing sync ran without error on an overwrite on the device, entourage 2008, Tasks, Notes and all!!
For all of you with the same Problem. Change your phone. And... insist orange listen. Send them these posts if necessary. I will be forwarding a conflict resolution to them shortly!