1. mikeycollins13's Avatar
    BlackBerry
    To our valued customers, partners and fans,
    You’ve no doubt seen the headlines about BlackBerry. You’re probably wondering what they mean for the tens of millions of jerks like you who refuse to upgrade to BB10 devices.

    We have one important message for you:

    You can continue to count us out.

    How do we know? We have substantial cash burn on hand and a balance sheet that is debt free with newly minted Z30 Inventory write down Lalapalooza coming!!

    We are restructuring with a goal to cut our expenses by 50 percent in order to run a very efficient, customer-oriented organization. We assure you that after this 50% chop, there will be no one left to face customers.

    These are no doubt challenging times for us and we don’t underestimate the situation or ignore the challenges. We are making the difficult changes necessary to strengthen BlackBerry’s Air Force like the Global Challenger we purchased in July after we missed earnings and started to fire our staff.

    One thing we will never change is our commitment to ruin the brand for those of you who helped build BlackBerry into the most trusted tool for the world’s business professional.
    Best in class tools.

    You trust your BlackBerry to deliver your most important messages, so trust us when we deliver one of our own: You can continue to count on us as we type this to you from 45,000ft above the jetstream on our Global Challenger Express and look down at those little people we fired so we could get to Lewis Hamilton’s F1 party in Tokyo on a pimping ride of our own.
    Sincerely,
    The BlackBerry Team
    10-14-13 06:35 PM
  2. zee3p0's Avatar
    In the infamous words "******* parasite"

    Posted via CB10
    mikeycollins13 likes this.
    10-14-13 06:40 PM
  3. igor10000's Avatar
    And the point of this is?
    10-14-13 06:41 PM
  4. mikeycollins13's Avatar
    Sarcasm, humour, wit
    10-14-13 06:42 PM
  5. wxmancanada's Avatar
    I don't really appreciate this, but hey, what's the internet for if not being an

    To Valued Our Customers... PARODY-donkey1.jpg

    Yes, a donkey.

    Donkey Synonyms, Donkey Antonyms | Thesaurus.com
    Elite1 likes this.
    10-14-13 06:45 PM
  6. Spencerdl's Avatar
    Well, get use to it. I've been around for a few years and Blackberry won't be the first or last company to go out of business....it happens. I would give you a list, but its to long......SMILE
    10-14-13 06:52 PM
  7. m1a1mg's Avatar
    Sure are a lot of BB fans getting upset over anything these days.
    Dave79 likes this.
    10-14-13 08:58 PM
  8. BThunderW's Avatar
    You wouldn't know good taste if it came up from behind and licked your a$$ with your mother's severed tongue.

    BlackBerry
    To our valued customers, partners and fans,
    You’ve no doubt seen the headlines about BlackBerry. You’re probably wondering what they mean for the tens of millions of jerks like you who refuse to upgrade to BB10 devices.

    We have one important message for you:

    You can continue to count us out.

    How do we know? We have substantial cash burn on hand and a balance sheet that is debt free with newly minted Z30 Inventory write down Lalapalooza coming!!

    We are restructuring with a goal to cut our expenses by 50 percent in order to run a very efficient, customer-oriented organization. We assure you that after this 50% chop, there will be no one left to face customers.

    These are no doubt challenging times for us and we don’t underestimate the situation or ignore the challenges. We are making the difficult changes necessary to strengthen BlackBerry’s Air Force like the Global Challenger we purchased in July after we missed earnings and started to fire our staff.

    One thing we will never change is our commitment to ruin the brand for those of you who helped build BlackBerry into the most trusted tool for the world’s business professional.
    Best in class tools.

    You trust your BlackBerry to deliver your most important messages, so trust us when we deliver one of our own: You can continue to count on us as we type this to you from 45,000ft above the jetstream on our Global Challenger Express and look down at those little people we fired so we could get to Lewis Hamilton’s F1 party in Tokyo on a pimping ride of our own.
    Sincerely,
    The BlackBerry Team
    Shanerredflag likes this.
    10-15-13 08:01 AM
  9. cgk's Avatar
    I thought this was funny however:

    To Valued Our Customers... PARODY-capture.png
    10-15-13 02:34 PM
  10. Dave79's Avatar
    I thought this was funny however:

    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	Capture.PNG 
Views:	344 
Size:	14.2 KB 
ID:	210787
    That's pretty funny!
    10-15-13 02:39 PM
  11. bigglybobblyboo's Avatar
    BlackBerry
    To our valued customers, partners and fans,
    You’ve no doubt seen the headlines about BlackBerry. You’re probably wondering what they mean for the tens of millions of jerks like you who refuse to upgrade to BB10 devices.

    We have one important message for you:

    You can continue to count us out.

    How do we know? We have substantial cash burn on hand and a balance sheet that is debt free with newly minted Z30 Inventory write down Lalapalooza coming!!

    We are restructuring with a goal to cut our expenses by 50 percent in order to run a very efficient, customer-oriented organization. We assure you that after this 50% chop, there will be no one left to face customers.

    These are no doubt challenging times for us and we don’t underestimate the situation or ignore the challenges. We are making the difficult changes necessary to strengthen BlackBerry’s Air Force like the Global Challenger we purchased in July after we missed earnings and started to fire our staff.

    One thing we will never change is our commitment to ruin the brand for those of you who helped build BlackBerry into the most trusted tool for the world’s business professional.
    Best in class tools.

    You trust your BlackBerry to deliver your most important messages, so trust us when we deliver one of our own: You can continue to count on us as we type this to you from 45,000ft above the jetstream on our Global Challenger Express and look down at those little people we fired so we could get to Lewis Hamilton’s F1 party in Tokyo on a pimping ride of our own.
    Sincerely,
    The BlackBerry Team
    Parody? Those sorts of things are frowned upon in these parts...

    But, I might give it a go sometime, you never know...
    10-15-13 05:04 PM
  12. Darlaten's Avatar
    After reading the parody - which was brilliant by the way - the first thing I thought of was the opening clip to Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows in which Rufus Scrimegeour says:

    “These are dark times, there is no denying. Our world has perhaps faced no greater threat than it does today. But I say this to our citizenry: We, ever your servants, will continue to defend your liberty and repel the forces that seek to take it from you! Your Ministry remains, strong.”

    Subtitle the word "Ministry" with "Blackberry", and there you go
    mikeycollins13 likes this.
    10-15-13 05:12 PM
  13. bigglybobblyboo's Avatar
    I thought this was funny however:

    Click image for larger version. 

Name:	Capture.PNG 
Views:	344 
Size:	14.2 KB 
ID:	210787
    No fun you. Always the Danny Downer..
    10-15-13 05:18 PM

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